by Stasia Black
And when Gabriel said huge, he meant huge.
They were there for over an hour before they discovered a small band of malnourished and road-weary people already hiding there. They were happy to welcome the clans when they realized they were willing to share their food and medicine. Audrey immediately took charge of distributing rations.
They were just finishing up their dinner in one of the bigger caverns they’d turned into a communal space. Candles had been arranged in a circle and people from different clans lounged and chatted as they finished up their rations of cornbread and jerky.
“You wanna come and play?” Alex popped up in front of Nicky. “Yesterday me and Tim found a room as big as a football field!”
Gabriel paused, watching surreptitiously to see how Shay’s little girl would respond. She and her brother had stuck together like glue to each other and their mom ever since they’d been reunited.
Alex and Tim kept inviting them to play or go exploring with them. Gabriel always chaperoned and he’d seen more stalactites and stalagmites over the past week than he’d ever needed to in a lifetime. But after the stress of the journey, he was happy to give the boys something else to focus on.
Though Nicky always said no and clutched tighter to Matthew’s side, the last few days she’d watched Alex and Tim play like she really wished she could go along. She was a good little soldier, though, so she stayed by her brother and mom’s side.
As always, when Alex asked, Nicky’s eyes immediately sought out her brother’s. Matthew shifted where he was sitting, looking to the dark recesses of the cave, then back at Nicky, then to his mom.
Shay nodded encouragingly but then looked toward Gabriel. “As long as Gabe doesn’t mind taking you.
But Rafe spoke up before Gabriel could. “Why don’t I take you guys this time? I keep hearing about this giant football stadium room but I gotta see it to believe it. I think you guys might just be BSing me.”
“What’s BSing?” Alex asked and Gabriel smacked Rafe on the back of the head.
“Um,” Rafe said as he stood up. “Bull shoeing.”
Alex nodded, whispering to himself, “Bullshoeing, bullshoeing.”
Gabriel put a hand over his eyes and Shay laughed. “Have fun guys. Make sure to take a couple flashlights with extra batteries and some candles too. And stick to the rooms with a handrail so you know you can find your way back.”
Rafe made a face at her. “Yes, mother,” he said in a high-pitched voice and she smacked his shins.
Matthew stood up and held out a hand for his sister. She popped to her feet and started bouncing up and down. “Slagmites, slagmites, slagmites!”
“It’s stalagmites,” Matthew corrected gently. “Stalag.”
“Slag.”
“Stalag.”
“Slag. That’s what I’m saying.” She lifted her arms up in exasperation and it was so cute, Gabriel about died.
He looked over at Shay and saw a misty-eyed smile on her face, too. Then he glanced down at her stomach.
Would the baby be a boy or a girl?
Gabriel was secretly hoping for another girl. He’d always wanted to have a big family. And his beautiful Shay was giving him that. She was making all his dreams come true.
Now if he could just give her a world where their children could grow up safely. He’d always wanted to give his boys the best future they could possibly have.
Now he’d just settle for any future at all.
Please, God. Please, please keep my family safe. And please take that monster, Colonel Travis, down to hell where he belongs.
Amen.
Gabriel quickly made the sign of the cross as Rafe gathered the supplies for their exploration. Shay helped Audrey clean up from their meal and stack the dishes that would be taken to one of the deeper caverns where a well had been dug down to hit the aquifer below the cave. Each clan was assigned a week’s worth of water duty and thankfully, they weren’t on this week.
“Let’s go check on Charlie,” Shay said, once she’d handed off the dishes. She looked to Gabriel and Jonas.
Jonas nodded and stood up, not saying anything.
That was nothing new. He barely said a word these days. Not since the Travisville mission. It had pissed Gabriel off at first, thinking that Jonas was still mad at Shay for lying to them. But when Gabriel confronted Jonas about it their second day in at the caves, he’d looked shocked that Gabriel could think that.
“Of course not,” Jonas said. “That monster had her children.”
Shay grabbed one of the large candles from the center of the circle and took the lead, heading down the now familiar passageway through the caverns.
Before The Fall, the cave had been a longtime tourist attraction, so in a lot of places there were hand rails and clear walkways—at least in the outer chambers. None of them had explored the deeper recesses, though apparently the caverns went on for over two miles.
Gabriel held his candle up, looking around at the waxy looking stalactites that dripped from the ceilings and down the limestone walls. It was cool down here, almost cold at times. You’d never believe it was nearing a hundred degrees just a couple hundred feet straight up above their heads.
Shay was quiet as they walked, which meant that Jonas and Gabriel were quiet too. If Rafe were here, he’d probably be cracking jokes, but he wasn’t. And without him, it was even more glaringly obvious that their five had become four, and with one of those four injured, they had become three.
Now Jonas was so withdrawn, well, it was hard not to feel lonely. Gabriel had wanted a family but he’d never expected it to be like this. So complicated. So messy.
Then again, maybe that was what real family was all about. And Gabriel wouldn’t trade his in for the world.
They finally rounded the corner to their clan cavern. It was spacious. If there was one thing the caves weren’t lacking in, it was space.
They’d hung curtains up on strings looped around the thickest stalagmites by the entrance to the cavern, so there was a modicum of privacy. Shay pushed back the curtain and entered first.
What?
“Charlie,” she cried.
Chapter 41
JONAS
Shit. Jonas ran into their clan cavern right after Shay when they saw Charlie slumped over, half off the cot, half on it.
“Baby,” Shay said, cupping his face in her hands after Jonas helped her roll Charlie back on his cot. “What were you doing?”
He was conscious at least, so that was good. But he was also breathing hard and clenching his teeth in a way that made it clear he was in pain.
“You… weren’t… here.” Each word was forced through his teeth and she reached down to grab his hand. He seemed to relax at her touch but only marginally.
“Have to… protect… you.”
What did he think he was gonna be able to do in this state? Hobble in front of a bullet? He could barely make it to the sanitation bucket and back without help.
“Hey pal, we got her for the next few weeks, okay?” Jonas said, leaning over to grab something from his pack and then coming back to Charlie. Jonas might not be good for much, but this he could give. “Take a big bite of this, okay?”
Charlie made a face. “Don’t like…the way… it tastes.”
“Well we ran out of morphine and even the doctor says this is the next best thing.” Jonas didn’t have the patience for proper bedside manner. Charlie was in pain. This would stop it. End of fucking story. “I’ll drag his ass back down here again if that’s what it’ll take.”
“Please,” Shay said, “eat it. For me?” She scratched her fingers through Charlie’s hair and then caressed down his face. His eyes closed at her touch and Jonas could tell that even though he was in immense pain, her touch comforted and distracted him.
Charlie nodded just the tiniest bit and opened his mouth.
Jonas handed the oat bar to Shay and she broke off a piece, popping it in Charlie’s mouth.
“How long bef
ore it starts taking effect?” Shay whispered to Jonas as she pulled back from Charlie.
“Sometimes up to two hours. With the dose I gave him, though, and considering what a lightweight he is, it could be as soon as thirty to forty-five minutes.”
“And in the meantime?”
“Well, lighting up a joint would get it done faster, but—”
“No smoking,” Charlie growled. “Our wife is pregnant.”
“We could send her out into the other cavern and—”
“Not gonna send—ohhhh,” Charlie groaned suddenly, except this time it didn’t sound like he was in pain.
Jonas’s eyes snapped down to find Shay’s hand disappearing down into the front of Charlie’s towel. He couldn’t even put on boxers, the skin on his legs was so fucked at the moment.
But from the reaction Shay was getting, the fire had clearly not gotten to one important part of his anatomy.
“Then we’ll just have to find another way to distract you,” Shay said.
Charlie closed his eyes and pressed his head back to the cot as Shay lifted the towel to reveal his hard cock.
Jonas looked away.
He should leave.
Instead, he glanced back.
Shay’s hair fell across Charlie’s stomach as she leaned over, careful not to touch any part of Charlie except to lick the slit of his dick with her tongue.
Fuck.
Jonas went hard in ten seconds flat.
Why the fuck was he still standing here watching this? He didn’t deserve to be here.
He blinked and finally took a step back. He was about to turn and run from the goddamned room but his shoes must have made some sort of noise because Shay stood up straight and spun to look at him.
“Where are you going?”
Her bright green eyes looked almost hurt.
Jonas swallowed. “I— Um, I just—” He dropped his head and let out a deep breath before finally looking back up at her.
“You look like you’re all set here. There are some chores that need to be done out in the main cave so I’ll—”
But Shay’s eyes just flashed. “Don’t you dare move another inch. Tell me why the hell you keep running away from me. It’s like you can’t even stand to be in the same room as me since we got back from Travisville.”
“Of course I can’t!” Jonas snapped.
Shay’s mouth had dropped open in a wide O and Gabriel looked like he wanted to slug Jonas. Jonas really, really wished he would. Jesus, he deserved it. And so much more.
“Talk to me,” Shay pleaded.
Jonas threw his hands up in the air. “And say what?”
“Say what you feel. Say what’s going on in that head of yours. What’s going on in your heart?”
Jonas scoffed, grabbing his hair with both hands, shaking his head. “My heart? Who the fuck gives a shit about my heart? Why aren’t you yelling at me? Screaming at me?”
“For what?” Shay said, throwing her arms up.
“He let Travis… get away,” Charlie said from the bed and Jonas held out a hand like, ding, ding, ding, we have a winner.
Jonas knew everyone in camp was thinking it. It was almost a relief for someone to finally fucking say it out loud.
“That wasn’t your fault,” Shay exclaimed.
Jonas laughed. “Are you kidding? I was standing there holding a gun on him. And then he just started backing up because he knew I wouldn’t shoot him. I didn’t even know, but he knew. And the bastard was right.”
Jonas huffed out a merciless laugh, taking a step back toward the cavern’s exit. “How many thousands of people will die because I couldn’t pull the damn trigger? Because I choked when it mattered most?”
He shook his head. “I shouldn’t have even come with you. I deserve whatever Travis would have done to me if he found me in Jacob’s Well.”
In a streak, Shay was across the cavern. Then her hand was flying.
Nothing could have surprised Jonas more than her slap. It wasn’t hard. She hadn’t put her whole weight behind it, but it was a startling sting.
“Now you listen to me,” she said, face tilted down and eyes up. “You are never going to talk such fucking nonsense again. Do you hear me?”
Jonas just stood, frozen.
“I said, do you fucking hear me?” She shouted the last five words and Jonas was quickly nodding.
“Good. Now get your ass over here, on your knees.” She walked back to the side of Charlie’s cot and pointed at the floor.
Jonas went. She was using his own tactics against him, but right now, he would grovel at her feet if she asked. He’d lick her boots if he thought it would make her happy. He’d spend the rest of his life as her servant and still it would never, ever make up for what he’d done. Or not done.
Shay pulled her cotton t-shirt off over her head and unclasped her bra. Her gorgeous breasts bounced a little as she freed them and Jonas’s hard on was back to full mast.
You don’t deserve this. You don’t deserve her or to be happy when—
“Help me with my pants,” she ordered, eyes on him as she unbuttoned them and slid them partially down her hips.
Everything in Jonas screamed at him to put a stop to this. To tell her that no. He couldn’t. She was too pure and good and he was—
“Now,” she snapped and Jonas let his eyes fall closed even as he reached up to drag the denim down over her hips, his thumbs caressing her soft, soft skin as he went.
From his position on his knees, he could smell her arousal.
Jesus, just how wet was she? Jonas inhaled her and stroked himself, then immediately felt wracked by guilt and yanked his hand away. Why should he get to sit here and fuck his woman when other people would be dying soon, if not already, at Travis’s hand?
“Gabriel, you come here too.”
Gabriel approached reluctantly. It was obvious Shay was in a mood. She was not to be fucked with.
“Take your pants off and fuck me.”
Gabriel’s chest heaved at her command.
“What the fuck are we? Are we a bonded clan or just some people who hang out together sometimes?” She looked down at Jonas, then back to Gabriel, then to Charlie. “Because fuck that. Our entire lives have been upended time after time in the last eight and a half years. We survived,” her eyebrows bunched. “But at times, it’s broken us. Each of us.”
She made eye contact with them again, one at a time. “The only way we get through this is as a clan that’s bonded tighter than ever. Which is why I want us to reconsummate our commitment. This time with no secrets. No bullshit. Just our love. I already talked to Rafe about it and he agrees.”
She kicked off her jeans, standing before them completely and gloriously naked, obviously unashamed. “Now it’s time for you to make your decision.” She looked to Gabriel. “I know you loved your wife and I would never try to take her place. But I can be a good wife to you. I hope you’ll let me into a different corner of your heart someday. Because I love you.”
“Oh mi alma, my soul, you have already captured me completely,” Gabriel’s words came out in a rush. “I was just so afraid. It seemed impossible to me that God could give me and the children so much—I didn’t dare ask for more.” He shook his head. “But you were right that day when you asked what kind of example I was setting for them. If I don’t show them I’m living my life to the fullest, how will they learn anything but to kill themselves with work at the expense of everything else?”
“You’re a good father,” Shay said, reaching a hand out to him. He walked forward to take it and Jonas felt the sinkhole in his stomach open even wider.
Here was a man truly deserving of Shay.
Unlike him.
But right when he started to get up off the floor, all the softness left Shay’s face.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
Jonas bowed his head, settling back on his knees even as conflict warred in his chest.
He was not this man.
/> He was not the one on his knees taking orders.
But the man he’d been was a coward who couldn’t step up and do what needed doing in the moment, so what good was he?
Maybe this is who he should have been all along. Meek. Obsequious. Obedient.
Maybe then when Charlie had put a gun in his hand and told him to pull the trigger, he would have been able to do it.
Shay moved in front of him, facing the cot, her cunt right at his face. He took a sharp breath in and her scent overwhelmed him. With each of his senses, he took in her arousal. The pretty pink lips of her pussy glistened and with every breath in, he took more of her aroma into his lungs.
He couldn’t stop himself from reaching up to part her slick folds and then to lick upwards in one slurping pass of his tongue.
Her flavor burst along his taste buds and he was instantly ravenous for more.
Especially when he heard her low-pitched breathy moan—the one that meant she was trying to be quiet about her pleasure and only barely managing it. Somehow Jonas always found that even hotter than when she screamed it to the rafters.
He had to adjust his head to the side when she bent over at the waist. It took Jonas a second to figure out—
Ohhhhh. The muffled groans were a dead giveaway. She was sucking Charlie’s cock again.
Fuck.
Jonas reached up and grabbed hold of her hips. His gorgeous baby doll wasn’t wasting any time, was she?
How quickly would Charlie pop off? The pain might keep the orgasm off for a while. Or the blow job might be such a good distraction from it that he came in minutes.
Either way, Jonas couldn’t afford to waste a minute of glorious access to Shay’s delicious pussy. He licked and speared his tongue inside her and then suckled on her clit.
It was while he was sucking mercilessly on her clit that he heard her say, “Now!”
And a few moments later, he felt Shay’s body jerk forward. Like…
Jonas pulled back just far enough to see Gabriel’s cock disappearing into Shay’s pussy. Gabriel was taking her from behind and Shay’s frantic groans around Charlie’s cock increased in volume.
If she didn’t quiet soon, everyone in the whole damn cave system would know what they were up to.
