He paused, then leaned in to mash his mouth against mine. His lips hungrily devoured mine. His tongue dipped into my mouth, which opened for him, all too willingly.
I let out a moan.
Evidently that was all the encouragement he needed. He cupped my breast and ran a finger over my nipple once, twice. When I didn't pull away, he undid the front of my dress and pulled it away from my body.
When the air hit my bare skin, I hesitated. Did I want to let this happen? It would be so easy to get swept away.
He grasped my nipple between his thumb and forefinger and rolled it gently.
My knees went weak in response.
"I need you," he whispered.
"Need you too," I said back. Gods help me, I really did.
He swept me up in his arms and carried me over to a patch of grass under the willows.
A small part of me worried he didn't want me, he just wanted the conquest, but I still let him slide my dress off and toss it aside.
He kissed my mouth, my neck, then travelled down my chest to claim one nipple, then the other. He swirled his tongue around my stiff peak and sucked hard. Truthfully, for years I had imagined him doing this. For a long time it would have felt like fucking my brother, then he became a jerk. Now...now I just wanted all of him to touch all of me.
I raised my hips to help him pull off my panties. I barely registered him undoing his pants before he covered me with his weight and parted my knees with his. I wrapped my legs around him and pressed my entrance against the tip of his length.
He groaned and lay like that for a long while. I didn't push him, I just savoured the anticipation of feeling him inside me.
After a minute of two, he finally, slowly, slid his erection into me.
For a moment, I was breathless with surprise that this was actually happening. He was lying over me, filling me to the hilt. When I caught my breath again, I started to move, to roll my hips against him.
"Gods, yes," he said, his mouth near my ear. "I've dreamed about this for so long. So very long."
Gods, don't let me regret this later, I thought. "Me too," I admitted.
He smiled down at me. It wasn't a look of triumph, thank the gods, just of bliss. He drew out of me, then pounded back in.
I gave him a smile of my own and rolled us so I was lying on top of him. I slid my hands up the front of his shirt and over his rock hard abs. Gods, he felt as if he'd been carved out of a perfect block of stone, chiseled just right.
"I could crack a nut on those," I said, my voice rough.
He grinned and gripped my ass in his hands. He bucked his hips and encouraged me to do the same. I rose and fell, my breasts following my movement as I rode him.
He closed his eyes and took one hand from my hip to massage my breast and nipples.
I licked my lips and watched his face as I drew closer and closer to the edge.
Without warning, I reached my peak and cried out. My first orgasm washed over me, followed a few moment later by a second.
Huon, a smile on the corners of his mouth, rolled us back over so he was on top again. He pulled out and turned me over onto my stomach. The grass tickled my belly slightly. Gently, he pried my legs apart, positioned his cock and slid back deep into me.
"I don't want this to end," he whispered. With slow, deliberate strokes, he slid in and out of me. "Gods, you feel incredible."
He massaged my wings lightly in time with each thrust. Rub, thrust, rub, thrust.
I shivered with each touch of my sensitive wings. Before long, he drew a third orgasm from me, this one more intense than the others. The crest lasted for breaths and breaths before I finally came down from the high.
His hands left my wings and slipped under me to cup my breasts. "I've waited so long to hear how you cry out when you come," he said softly. "You sound even more beautiful than I imagined."
"I try," I said, my heart still racing. "I want you to come."
"Oh? Where do you want me to come?" he asked teasingly. His voice was gruff and I knew he was right on the edge. I wanted to push him over, hard.
"Inside me," I whispered. "I want you to come inside me."
"Gods, yes." With that, he grunted and pounded harder and harder into me. "Fuck, Gardenia—Summer—fuck." He let out a guttural cry as he came, spilling his seed into me. He stilled, but I bucked and squeezed my muscles around him to milk him dry.
Finally, he flopped down onto me and lay panting, his hands still on my breasts, cock still buried deep.
"I stand corrected," he said finally. "You did know what I needed, a good fuck." He slid out of me and lay beside me on the grass. "And that was a great one."
I blinked at him a few times, then stared, not sure I had heard him right. "Is that all that was?"
"What else would I have been?" he asked with a shrug. "You've made it clear you don't want more. I told you I don't need friends. I needed release. You gave me that when you gave me your gorgeous body."
I sat up and shook my head. "You should know I don't sleep with anyone without there being some meaning to it."
"Of course you do," he scoffed. "I know you have human lovers you toy with. You're just as much a slut as I am."
I raised my hand to slap him across the face.
He grabbed my wrist. "Don't you dare raise a hand to me," he hissed. "I will have you exiled."
"Not that crap again," I snapped. I jerked my wrist back, but he held it firm.
He gritted his teeth. "You will treat me with respect."
"Or what?" I asked. "Maybe you won't need to exile me. Maybe I'll just pack my things and go. Somewhere far, far away from you!" I pulled my wrist back.
This time he let go. He closed his eyes. "This was a mistake."
I snorted. "You're telling me. I never should have let you touch me."
"No," he agreed, "you shouldn't. I'm nothing but a..."
I frowned. "Nothing but a what?"
He shook his head, stood and pulled his pants back up his hips. "It doesn't matter."
"I think it does," I told him.
"I'm a waste of space," he spat out. "No use to anyone. Maybe I should be the one to pack my bags and go away."
I blinked in confusion. "Perhaps you need to go and see one of those human doctors. What are they called? A physiatrist."
"What I need," he ground out, "is to have better magic. What use is being able to shrink and grow, and move things around?"
"Is that a rhetorical question?" I asked, "because I find those things pretty useful." I grabbed my panties and pulled them on. "What is this really about?"
He watched me as if he wanted to pull off my panties again and throw me back down onto the grass.
I picked up my dress and stepped into it. I wasn't making the mistake of screwing him again. At least not any time soon. Yes, I was crazy for not ruling it out entirely, but gods he had made me feel good. As much as I wanted to punch him, I couldn't deny the attraction. Lust is even more blind than love.
Huon flopped back down and sighed. "What's the use of magic if you can't help those you care about?"
I sat down too, but far enough away he couldn't touch me easily. "Is that what's going on in your head?" I asked gently. "You want respect from others because you can't find any for yourself? You want to stop Lucas from dying and you feel powerless. You think being a prince and acting like a dick will give you some of that power back."
He shrugged, but I knew I was right.
"What you really need," I went on, "is to stop pushing us away and pretending you're better than the rest of us."
"Maybe I am," he said, but he said with the first hint of humour I had seen from him in a while.
"Don't make me punch you," I said jokingly. "You know very well you aren't, you've told me plenty of times."
He shrugged. "I just feel so useless."
"That's no excuse for lashing out," I scolded.
"I guess not." He sighed.
"You guess right. And if you ever call me a
slut again, I will knee you in the nuts."
He smiled faintly. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could, a new sound echoed across the fae capital. A horn.
The one which sounded to announce a royal death.
Chapter 4
HUON SLAMMED HIS FIST against the wall.
"I should have been here," he growled.
I reached out a hand toward his shoulder but drew it back. "You weren't to know this would happen," I said gently.
"That doesn't matter, I should have been here. Instead I was fuc—" He shook his head and stalked away from the wall. "I didn't even get to say goodbye."
I watching him for a moment. My heart felt heavy at the loss of Lucas, but heavier still seeing Huon look so broken. "You had a lot of incredible years with him," I said softly. "He knew you loved him. He loved you too."
I felt like I was walking on a knife's edge with Huon right now and I had no idea what might push him over. I had never seen him so vulnerable or volatile. That was saying something, given his recent behaviour.
Huon rounded on me. "Did he know?" His eyes searched mine for...something. I didn't know what. Validation perhaps? Permission to grieve?
"Of course he did," I assured him. "He was so proud of you, and so glad for the time he spent here amongst us crazy fae." I tried to smile but I wasn't sure if I pulled it off. "He wouldn't want you to stew like this."
"How do you know what he would and wouldn't want?" Huon snapped. He rubbed his forehead. "None of us was here with him when he died. Not even Alder and they were always close."
"None of that is your fault," I reminded him. "Not even your mother was here." Aster was probably going to be devastated over that. No one would blame her if she was.
"But I should have been," he insisted. He paused and squinted accusingly at me. "Why did you choose then to say yes? If you'd said no, I would have come back here. I would have been with him when he..."
I did a double take. "So this is my fault?" I asked, incredulous. "If you're going to try to blame me, you can fuck right off. You wanted that just as much as I did." Okay, I was being insensitive, but he was out of line. Yes, I know, what was new these days? Still, this was far beyond the pale.
"I...you..." He shook his head as though he couldn't make sense out of anything anymore. I understood that. Fae were so long lived, death didn't happen that often. Neither did births, so those were always cause for celebration. These events were so few and far between we hardly knew how to deal with them. That much was obvious right now.
Huon sat down heavily in a chair and rested his chin in his hands. "I'm sorry, I'm not myself at the moment."
I crouched beside him and put a hand on his shoulder. I resisted the urge to rub his wing to soothe him. The last thing I needed right now was to arouse him again and that was as likely as my touch having a calming effect.
"You haven't been yourself for a while now. Unless being a massive dick is your new personality. Please say it isn't." I gave him a lopsided half smile.
He eyed me through his fingers. "Still disrespectful."
I couldn't tell if he was joking or not. "If you think I'm going to change, you have another think coming."
"I'm starting to realise that," he admitted.
The door to Lucas' room opened and Alder stepped out, face pale, tears streaked down his face.
"I can't believe he's gone." He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped his face.
I rose and moved to embrace him. He hugged me back quickly, then stepped away. Of all Huon's fathers, Alder was the one I knew the least. He was usually a closed book. If books has slightly prickly covers. He seemed to adore Aster and Birch, and of course Lucas, but he had never been warm toward me. Thankfully, he hadn't been cold either. He just kept me at arm's length, and most others from what I could tell.
I glanced toward Huon. "Should I go?" I asked.
"No," Alder raised a hand. "I'll go and start to make the arrangements." Before either of us could respond, he disappeared out the opposite door.
"All right then," I said under my breath.
"Don't mind him," Huon waved a hand in the direction Alder had gone. "He's just grieving. He doesn't mean to be rude."
"I know," I said ironically. "What about you?"
He glanced up at me and managed a faint smile. "I guess I could try to be a little nicer."
"Just a little." I held up my fingers as far apart as they could go. "You could start by letting me use the library again."
He frowned as though he'd forgotten about that. "I'll think about it," he said finally.
I looked at him in surprise. "I beg your pardon? I thought we'd come to some understanding here."
"Did we?" he asked. "I thought we agreed we were just fuck buddies."
"Fuck buddies don't punish each other for not going to the ball with each other," I said. "They don't hold grudges."
"I'm pretty sure they behave however they want to," he replied. "But for your information I don't care about balls or holding grudges. I care about the fae having leadership. Without Father here, that's what I need to show. To all of the fae."
I sighed. This again. "You can be a leader without being an asshole."
"Can I?" he asked. "If I can't get respect from you, or even myself, then obviously I'm doing something wrong."
I knelt beside him and put a hand on his arm. "You're not doing anything wrong." Well, he was, but now didn't seem the time to point that out. At least he was trying. Or, he seemed to be anyway.
"Nothing would have saved Lucas. Not magic, not human medicine, nothing. You have to stop beating yourself up about it. When the gods decide our time is up, then it's up. It's in their hands."
"Maybe I'll blame the gods then," he said wearily.
"Better them than yourself or me." I patted his arm. We swore by a lot of gods, but who knew whether or not they existed? If they didn't, then there was no harm in blaming them. If they did, well, we'd deal with that another time.
"What could go wrong with that?" he asked.
I smiled. "Vengeful gods? Nothing we can't deal with."
He chuckled softy. "Yeah, easy."
"The last few days has been hard, and we survived that, more or less intact." My ego had taken a hit, but I was resilient and hadn't ruled out a jab to his nuts with my elbow if he persisted in being a jerk. "Angry gods would be a piece of cake."
He rubbed his chin. "I'd prefer a break from all of it for a while." He kept his voice low as a couple of nurse fae stepped out of Lucas' room. They too looked bereft. Neither seemed old enough to have seen the last time a fae died. No doubt they were older than that, but it wouldn't make it easier for either of them.
They offered Huon a nod and a shallow bow before they walked past us and out the door.
"See, even they couldn't do anything," I said softly. Truthfully, we were a healthy lot, and our magic kept us from too much harm. Usually only illness and age conquered a fae.
Huon licked his lips. "Yeah, I suppose not." He frowned and for a moment I thought he'd follow them and yell at them for not saving Lucas' life. Instead, he sagged down lower in the chair and wiped under his nose.
"Maybe Mother shouldn't have married a human," he said finally.
"If I were you, I wouldn't mention that to her," I advised. If anyone in the fae realm was my stubborn and headstrong than I was, it was Aster, especially when it came to those she loved. No, she wouldn't have missed a day with Lucas, even if it meant saving herself and others from grief now.
Huon nodded wryly. "You're right. She'd probably hang me from the top of the palace by my wings for that."
"And rightly so," I said, only half joking. I couldn't imagine Aster doing such a thing, but I might not feel too bad if she did. For a little while anyway. I wasn't totally horrible. "Your mother is one tough cookie."
"And don't you forget it," a familiar voice said from behind me.
I rose and smiled.
Birch stepped into the room and o
ffered me a warm hug, then turned his attention to Huon. Aster followed a moment later, her face damp and sorrowful, but as elegant ad regal as ever.
While they shared embraces and sweet words, I slipped quietly out the door. This was a moment for family. As close to that as I might be, I was still an outsider of sorts.
Before I closed the door, I heard Aster dissolve into sobs while she was comforted by her husband and son.
Chapter 5
"The memorial was nice," I said as gently as I could manage after a few glasses of wine.
"Yeah, it was." Huon kicked at a rock. "I'm glad Mother and Father made it back in time."
I wiped a tear from my cheek that trickled at the mention of his mother. I had never seen Aster cry until today. Just the thought of it brought me to tears.
"Have they decided where they'll scatter his ashes?" I tucked a strand of hair behind my ears.
Huon sniffed. "Lucas' favourite place was amongst the roses. They'll scatter him there in a few days. When Mother is ready."
I stepped closer to him and wound my arms around him. He looked surprised, but nestled into my embrace. After a few moments, his body started to shake with sobs. I rubbed the back of his head and his neck, careful not to brush past his wings. That would be as insensitive as grabbing him by the cock. Now was not the time for that.
I let my own tears flow now too. Sweet, kind Lucas was gone. It didn't seem real. We would remember him for a hundred years or more—as long as we lived—but to never see him again...
I swallowed hard. "I'm so sorry," I said once I trusted myself to speak. "I know he was proud of you. I'm almost certain Birch and Aster are too." I said the last in a lighter tone and hoped he'd appreciate my attempt at humour.
Huon snorted, or was it another sob? He pulled back to look me in the eyes. "I think I've finally realised something."
"Oh, you have?" I asked. "Should I be worried? Maybe I should start packing now?"
He gave a lopsided smile. "No, don't you dare."
I arched an eyebrow at him. "You're still giving orders?"
He sucked in a breath. "Actually no, you can do as you please. That's what I've realised. You have always done whatever you want and you always will."
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