His oldest gave him a long-suffering look. “A rose. I tried to tell her it wasn’t something a boy draws, but she insisted.”
Beth chuckled a little. “Why did I disagree, Archer?”
The boy rolled his eyes and heaved a sigh. “Because if you can draw a rose, you can draw lots of other things, and flowers teach you about details, and perhaps I will grow up to be an architect and need to draw buildings.” He shook his head and turned back to his assignment. “This ridiculous flower doesn’t look anything like a building, Bitsy.”
“I promised him that if he would finish this without too much complaining,” Beth murmured softly, “I would take him out to explore the grounds away from the house later. It was the only way to convince him. He really should learn to draw a little, don’t you think?”
Malcolm looked at his children, then at his wife, and it was just too much for him. She was changed, they were too distant, and he was too confused by it all.
“You’re teaching them,” he said sharply, his chest starting to burn.
Beth raised a brow at him. “Mrs. Franklin and I are, yes.”
No hint of apology or apprehension in her words or her expression. A firm acknowledgement and perhaps a little defiance, but nothing else. And this was his submissive wife? Hardly.
Malcolm ground his teeth a little. “If you wanted to be a governess, I would have just hired you and saved myself the trouble.”
Beth did not react except to raise the other brow to match. “I didn’t realize that marrying me had caused you any trouble. If I had become the governess, which is what I initially believed you wanted of me, and not the wife, exactly how would you benefit? You are the one who made me your wife, Monty, so you cannot shift your discontent to me.” She gave him a knowing look and swept back towards the children, leaving him staring after her in a fuming sort of confusion.
How would he benefit? He couldn’t actually say, and that angered him most of all.
Fists clenching, he turned out of the garden and back out to the grounds, thinking a long walk and some fresh air just might calm him. He was undoubtedly overwrought from his travels and needed some exercise and space to collect himself. His children were mindful of their work, not neglectful of him, and they would certainly receive him better when they were not so occupied. And his wife was a capable woman, just as he’d wished. He should be glad of her independence.
Except he wasn’t. He was tempted to return to London already.
“Monty?”
He glanced quickly over his shoulder and stopped at the sight of Lily walking towards him, the hem of her pale blue dress dirty from the walk. “Lily. Did you walk all the way from Rainford?”
She nodded, coming over to him. “Of course. It’s only two miles, and quite pretty.”
Malcolm shook his head as he kissed her cheek. “Still, you ought to come by carriage. What would Granger say?”
She sniffed and looped her arm through his. “Provided he cared? He would praise me for taking in a regimen of exercise so healthful as walking the countryside.” She sighed and said, “Where are you bound?”
“Anywhere.” He started strolling with her, letting his mind wander and whirl in silence with her beside him.
“What’s wrong?” Lily asked gently.
“Must you be so intuitive?” he murmured, glancing over at her.
Lily chuckled softly, her dark eyes dancing. “Monty, you’re not exactly hiding it. When did you get back?”
He looked out over his lands, strangely enough feeling lonelier for seeing them. “Just a few moments ago.”
“Have you seen Beth and the children?”
He nodded without speaking. He had seen them. He had seen her manage the children with expert skill, he had heard of her conquests in his absence, he had witnessed the obedience his children paid her…
“Oh dear,” Lily murmured beside him, shaking her head.
Malcolm gave her a look. “What?”
She returned his look with one of her own. “You’re displeased with your wife.”
“Don’t be daft!” he scoffed, looking away.
“You don’t have to lie to me because she is my friend. I know you.” She tugged on his arm a little. “Monty, she is doing a splendid job of things.”
“Yes, so I’ve heard,” he snapped. Then he sighed and shook his head. “I’m sorry.”
Lily said nothing and simply walked beside him, waiting.
“I’m not displeased with her,” he told her, inhaling the fresh air and exhaling slowly. “How can I be? She’s done everything I’ve wanted, surpassing all my expectations of her. If I weren’t so blasted confused and torn up inside, I might actually be proud of her. I probably should be proud of her.”
“Probably,” Lily agreed with a smile.
Malcolm scoffed but returned the smile. “I don’t know what I actually expected, Lily, but it wasn’t this. She’s so different from the woman I left, and I just…”
Lily suddenly laughed and turned her head, looking away from him over a small vista before them.
“What?” he asked, nudging her.
She turned back, smiling broadly. “She said the same thing to me not too long ago. She said you were changed, so different, and she didn’t know what to do.”
“I am not too difficult to understand,” he protested moodily.
Lily tossed her head back on a laugh. “Please, Malcolm, there are passages in the Book of Isaiah more easily understood than you.”
He threw her a frown. “So, you take her side against me?”
“I take nobody’s side.” Lily rolled her eyes and exhaled loudly. “I side with you both. I want your marriage to succeed, but for that to happen, your marriage has to take place in the same place.” She shook his arm slightly. “You need to treat your wife as a wife, not as a caretaker.”
Malcolm gaped a little. “I don’t treat her as a caretaker!”
“What would you call it? You abandoned her at an estate she doesn’t know, with children she’s barely met, and a title to which she hasn’t adjusted,” Lily pointed out, tilting her head and smiling at him.
He frowned at her and removed his arm from her hold. “I think you must be needed at home now, Mrs. Granger.”
She took his arm again and held more tightly. “You’re not dismissing me that easily, Monty.”
“Pity.”
Lily sighed again, this time almost wearily. “Malcolm, you need to be here, at least for a little while. You’ll never adjust to being married again if you aren’t taking part in it. You need to get to know your wife. You need to show your children you approve of her. You need to show your neighbors and tenants you approve of her. For pity’s sake, you haven’t introduced her to anyone, or had a party or luncheon for her. How are the neighbors supposed to get to know her? You must show her off, use that perfect politeness you are so famous for, and take pride in your new wife.”
“Should I be doing all that?” he inquired in a low tone, almost absently.
Lily looked surprised. “You’re asking that question now? A bit late, don’t you think?”
He wet his lips with embarrassment. “I don’t really know her.”
“Well,” Lily replied after a moment’s pause, “then perhaps we should have this party for you. Then you can get to know her, as well.”
Malcolm nodded slowly, thoughtfully, but without answering her.
“I don’t understand why you haven’t already done something,” Lily mused. “You’re the one who asked to meet her. You thought she was perfect, and you’re the one who wanted to marry her right away. What changed?”
He closed his eyes against the confession rising but couldn’t contain it. “I think it was too soon.” He swallowed harshly. “I’m afraid it was too soon. I wasn’t ready.” He shook his head and gazed vacantly out over the lands again. “She’s not Caroline. She will never be Caroline.”
“That’s because she’s Beth,” Lily reminded him gently, “and if you’d gi
ve her a chance, you might find something to like in her, as well.”
“I like her well enough,” he assured Lily a little defensively.
She stiffened beside him, and he knew at once he had said the wrong thing. “Yes. My husband likes me well enough, and you see what sort of bliss that entails,” she said bitterly.
He covered her hand with his and squeezed, apologizing with the simple gesture in place of the words he could not vocalize.
Lily took a moment to compose herself, then looked up at him once more. “Give it time, Monty. And give her your attention.”
Malcolm felt his insides twisting, but beneath all that, he knew she was right. He was to blame for this situation, and he owed it to his family to try. He owed it to Beth, and to himself, if he were to be truthful. He had chosen Beth for some reason, and he could not believe that it had been all for the children.
“I’ll have a dinner party later this week,” he agreed softly. “Will you help with the invitations? And to get Beth prepared?”
“Of course,” Lily replied easily. Then she smiled with a mischievous light. “Though I highly doubt she will need it.”
Chapter Ten
"Help me prepare? What exactly does he think I need help with?”
Lily grinned at her as she sipped her tea. “Well, you’ve never hosted anything before, and it is a party to introduce you to all of your closest neighbors properly…”
Beth stared at her without any of the amusement Lily seemed overburdened with. “You didn’t tell him I’ve already met them all?”
Lily shrugged one shoulder in a surprisingly graceful motion. “He didn’t ask. Besides, you didn’t tell him, either.”
That was true, and Beth didn’t have a good reason for it. She could have told him that two weeks after he left her without anything to do, she had set about to meet all the tenants, and all the neighbors, on her own. Lily had assured her that none of them were so stiff as to keep to the London manners of refusing to receive a caller to whom they had not been formally introduced. Even Lady Kirkwood had come to call on her, once she’d received Beth’s card, and that was apparently a small miracle.
Everyone had easily accepted that Lord Montgomery had wished to give his new countess time to adjust to new position and life with the children. They’d all understood her desire for acquaintances before being properly introduced.
Lily had informed her that there had been nothing but praises sung about the new Lady Montgomery, and while none of them had called on her more than once, she could safely say that she knew each of her neighbors well enough to not be intimidated by a roomful of them.
“Does he think he needs to hold my hand, so I don’t cry?” Beth asked dryly.
Lily gave her a scolding look. “Be kind. He doesn’t know what he’s doing, but this is a start. Let him show you off a little. You said so yourself that the last few days have been better.”
“Better than what?” Beth murmured, sipping her own tea. “Better than nothing? Perhaps.”
It was true, Malcolm had been more present in the days following his return than he had before he’d left. He had taken an interest in Beth’s doings; he had taken care to explain his part in their tenants’ needs and had actually conferred with her on a few of them. He was still very polite and had yet to truly play with the children, but he had taken a moment to come out with them and watch Beth play with the children every day. He had smiled every time.
That smile was getting to her. Despite her irritation with him for his maddening aloofness with her and the children, his smile made her feel… things. She couldn’t feel “things”, not when she had to prove herself. She needed to be a strong woman, someone on whom he could depend, if he would let himself give up a little bit of control.
It was so much easier to be the woman she wanted to be when he was away. When he was here, before her face and in her thoughts, she became agitated and embarrassed and silly, wanting so desperately to please him that she turned into the biddable version of herself that he had married. But he had seemed almost disappointed with her easy agreement, and so, to please him in earnest, she would have to show her independence.
Daydreaming of running into his arms, or of kissing him while they watched a breathtaking sunset did not seem the best way to spend her time striving to be independent and capable. But it did help her to be more productive, as every time it happened, she would rush and scramble to accomplish things as a distraction.
If her husband didn’t appeal to her so, despite his distance, she might have felt more settled. She rather liked his attractiveness, however. If only she knew how his lips would feel against her skin…
She jerked suddenly, spilling tea on her hand, but thankfully avoiding her skirt. “Ooh,” she yelped, grateful it wasn’t scalding, but it was still warm enough to irritate her skin.
Lily’s eyes widened as she watched Beth blot the spill with a linen napkin. “What happened?”
“Probably a terrible feeling anyway,” Beth grumbled under her breath as her face flamed.
“What is?” Lily prodded.
“Nothing.” Beth sighed and shook her head. “I’m becoming cynical, aren’t I?”
Lily grinned. “Yes, and it is entertaining to watch you change from sweet to cynical so quickly. I didn’t think you had it in you.”
“Neither did I.” Beth leaned back against her chair and rubbed at her brow. “I don’t mean to be. It’s just… I was thinking of my…”
“Your what?”
Beth dropped her hand and gave her friend a very frank look. “My husband.”
Lily’s brow furrowed slightly. “Your husband?” Then her expression cleared, and her eyes grew round. “Oh…”
Beth smiled tightly and nodded. “Lady Montgomery is mightily attracted to her husband and is trying not to make a grand fool of herself.” She groaned and covered her face again.
Lily laughed gently and set her teacup down. “Why would you make a fool of yourself? You are not a fool, and you never have been.”
“Oh, yes, I am,” Beth informed her, nodding very firmly. “I find myself attracted to a man who told me from the first that he did not love me and that I should not expect a marriage of affection. I should have known the infatuation would only get worse when I was actually his wife. And do you know what the worst thing is?”
“Enlighten me,” Lily encouraged, sitting back herself with an amused smile.
Beth did not appreciate that her friend was ignoring the severity of the situation but chose to put that aside for a moment. “The worst thing is that I very much fear that if Monty ever opens up to me, I will find myself more attracted to the man within than I already am.”
“And the trouble there is…?” Lily asked with that smile still fixed in place.
Beth heaved a sigh. “I will probably wind up trailing behind him and begging him to love me for the rest of my life, complete with flinging myself on him and stealing into his bedchamber at night. I shall become wholly ridiculous over the mere thought of his physical form, which my imagination is quite delighted to dwell upon, without his hidden qualities, which I have yet to discover. Then he shall cast me off for being so pathetic, and it will be my own fault because I was not sensible enough to marry an unattractive man.”
Lily was laughing too hard to give any sort of answer, so Beth patiently waited for her friend to recover herself. It took quite a long while.
When Lily was sensible again, she smiled at Beth fondly. “That is the best thing I have heard in quite a long time.”
Beth shot her a dry smile. “So happy I could oblige you.”
“Attractive husbands are a trial, aren’t they?” Lily offered, her smile fading a little.
There was nothing Beth could have replied to that. Lily had been secretly in love with Mr. Granger before their marriage, and then his fortunes had changed, and an agreement had been struck between him and her father for her hand strictly for her inheritance to rebuild what he had lost. There could
not have been a crueler punishment for her tender heart, and Beth had often wondered if Lily’s love for Mr. Granger had fallen by the wayside under his neglect and changed nature. He had been charming and agreeable before, yet he was dismissive and cold now.
What if Malcolm became the same way? Beth was not sure she was strong enough to endure that.
She grunted softly, shaking her head. “How am I supposed to manage when he makes me feel this way? We’re not even friends, Lily, and I just want…” She put her head in her hands. “I don’t even know what I want.”
“You are just going to have to get over the fact that your husband is attractive, Beth,” Lily told her without sympathy. “You ought to be friends with him, and you have it in you to be very friendly. You will find that you and your husband have much in common, and I think you will rather enjoy the process.” She suddenly chuckled softly. “I’ll have you know he finds you attractive, as well.”
Beth jerked her head up and stared at Lily with wide eyes. “What? Are you certain? He said that?”
Her friend smirked a little. “He didn’t have to. I’ve seen how he looks at you, and there is no hiding that.”
“That doesn’t make any sense,” Beth stammered, shaking her head insistently. “I’ve seen the way he looks at me as well, and there wasn’t anything there to make me believe anything of the sort.”
Lily tilted her head, still smiling knowingly. “Do you know what it looks like when a man finds you attractive?”
A snort escaped Beth. “Apparently not.”
“And how long are you staring at your husband to decide if the way he looks at you says something?”
Now Beth scowled at her. “If I look at him for longer than two seconds at a time without conversation, my knees forget their purpose, and my face begins to burn.” She shook her head. “It’s too embarrassing.”
“To find your husband attractive?” Lily prodded, looking confused.
“I don’t want him to know,” Beth whispered, her cheeks flaming just as she’d said.
Lily frowned slightly. “He should know. You should have confidence in how you look at your husband and to your husband.”
A Tip of the Cap (London League, Book 3) Page 12
