Suzanna felt as though a sharp knife had just pierced her heart, but she tried to pretend otherwise.
“Oh, right,” she said as if it were something that had simply slipped her mind, “I’d forgotten about that.”
“The two of you didn’t talk about it last night?”
“Um, I believe he mentioned it, but it was late and I was tired.” Suzanna’s stomach was churning, but anxious to change the subject she said, “I’m starving. Did you make pancakes this morning?”
“Starving? Didn’t you and Gregg have dinner last night?” Ida still had that quizzical look tacked to her face.
“Sort of. It was late, so he ordered an antipasto for us to share.” She said nothing about how the antipasto had gone untouched.
Suzanna poured herself a cup of coffee and sat across from Ida. She’d thought this morning she’d find Gregg still angry or perhaps refusing to grant her time to straighten things out, but she never dreamed he’d leave without saying goodbye.
Walking away solved nothing; she’d learned that the hard way. It was what she’d done with Bobby, and look at how that had turned out. Eight years wasted. Eight years of heartache and loneliness because she walked away without looking back.
She had a million personality flaws and stubbornness was definitely one of them, but Gregg wasn’t like her. He was logical, patient, tolerant even. He was more likely to listen to reason than make snap decisions the way she did. It made no sense that he’d leave without saying something…unless maybe he’d left another note just for her, and she’d somehow overlooked it.
Leaving her coffee on the table, Suzanna hurried up the stairs and began searching for what she believed could be the lost note. She checked beneath the door, on the hall table, under the bed, and when she found nothing, she lifted and shook the scatter rug that was halfway across the room. Still nothing. No note and no trace of one ever being there.
After exhausting the search, she sat on the side of the bed, shoulders slumped and face buried in her hands. She could almost see Gregg settled in the club chair at his brother’s house, chatting with Ginger, a bitter smile tugging at his mouth as he claimed their relationship had been a mistake from the very start.
“I’d expected so much more from her,” he’d say, and Ginger would most likely nod in agreement.
For a while Suzanna thought of telephoning him to suggest they talk things through rather than end it this way, but when she tried to pinpoint exactly what it was they could talk through she had nothing. The situation was what it was. Yes, she loved Gregg, but that wasn’t enough. Bobby deserved a chance. He was Annie’s daddy, and nothing would ever change that.
For two days Suzanna went about life as if she were on auto-pilot. She went to work, helped Ida with the dinner dishes, and listened to Annie’s prayers as she tucked her into bed, but her thoughts were always elsewhere. She tried to imagine what she would say to Bobby when they met at the Ellington. Although it was proving impossible to forget Gregg, she’d decided that Bobby was her future. He knew her secrets and loved her anyway; he was in love with the real Suzanna Duff. Gregg had been in love with the fantasy of Darla Jean Parker.
Darla Jean was just that: a fantasy. If she were honest with herself, Suzanna would have to admit she’d known all along it couldn’t last. Sure, she’d hoped it would, but there’s a world of difference in what you’re hoping for and what you can actually hold in your hand. Her daddy had taught her that. Her destiny was decided the first time she let Bobby make love to her. Now it was time for her to give up the fantasy, go to Atlanta, and settle into a life as Mrs. Robert Doherty. It would be a good life, and Annie would be with her real daddy. In the years to come Suzanna would hopefully forget about Gregg, but the sorry truth was she’d never forget about Ida. That loss would be with her forever.
On Tuesday morning when Suzanna woke, the sky was thick with ominous gray clouds and water was cascading from the eaves. During the night, she had heard Annie coughing and twice she’d climbed from the bed to check on her.
Annie was up and starting to dress when Suzanna came into the room and held a hand to her forehead.
“Uh oh. Feels like you’ve got a bit of fever.”
Annie tugged her second sock on. “I’m fine, Mama.”
“You’re not fine, and with the weather as nasty as it is I’m not going to chance you coming down with pneumonia.”
Despite the protests, Suzanna called the shop, told Colette she would not be in, then tucked Annie back in bed, rubbed her chest with Vicks, double-checked her temperature, and spent most of the morning carrying up trays of warm tea, chicken soup, and orange juice. That afternoon she was debating whether or not to cancel her date with Bobby when Annie’s temperature slid back to normal.
By then Ida had started coughing, but she insisted it was nothing.
“A twenty-four-hour bug,” she said. “It’ll be gone by morning.”
With a bit of hesitancy hanging onto her words, Suzanna asked if she felt well enough to take care of Annie for the evening. “I have plans to meet an old friend for dinner at the Ellington. I know it’ll be a late night, and with all this rain I thought it might be better if I stay over. Would that be okay with you?”
“Of course I’m well enough. This little bitty cough is nothing to be concerned about. A dose or two of cough medicine, and I’ll be fine. Besides, with the way you’ve been moping around the house the past few days, an evening out might be just what you need.”
Suzanna nodded. “Yeah, maybe…” There was a strange glumness attached to the words.
That afternoon she moved Annie into the small sitting room next to Ida’s, then settled her in front of the television to watch Queen for a Day and American Bandstand.
“If you stay covered up and mind what Grandma says, I might have a secret surprise for you when I get back.”
“What kind of surprise?”
“It wouldn’t be a secret or a surprise if I told you, would it? But trust me, it’s something you’ve wanted for a very long time.”
“A new Barbie?”
“Much better than a Barbie, but even if you guess it I’m not going to tell you. You’ll just have to wait and see.”
Suzanna kissed Annie’s cheek, then tossed a few necessities into a tote bag, climbed into the car and started for the Ellington.
The rain slowed the drive, and by the time she arrived Bobby was waiting in the bar. He flashed the smile she remembered so well, and it was as if all the years of being apart fell away. He walked over to her, put his hand on her lower back, pulled her close, and brushed a kiss across her lips.
She felt a touch of the passion she’d felt in the early days, but something was different. She’d changed; that was the problem. She’d forgotten how to trust him, how to give herself openly and without reservation. Thoughts of Gregg were still in her head; she would rid herself of them, but it was obviously going to take time.
“Would you like to have dinner here,” he asked, “or order up room service?”
“I don’t think I’m ready for that,” Suzanna said. “It’s been a long time—”
“Too long, but don’t you want to make up for lost time?” He leaned closer, and she felt his breath, heavy and warm against the side of her throat. “If I seem eager, Suzanna, forgive me. It’s because I can’t wait to feel you in my arms again.”
She’d come here wanting the exact same thing, but now it seemed awkward. Pushing that thought back, she said, “I’m eager too, but first we’ve got so much to catch up on.” She linked her arm through his and smiled. “I want to hear all about your life, and I know you’re anxious to hear about Annie.” She pulled a snapshot from her purse and handed it to him. “This is Annie. She’s got your eyes, Bobby. Isn’t she beautiful?”
He gave the picture a quick glance, then slid it into his pocket and smiled. “Well, of course she’s beautiful. Look at who she’s got for a mama.” He lifted Suzanna’s hand into his, dropped a kiss in her palm, then turn
ed and gave the maître d’ a nod.
Moments later they were seated at a table in the back of the room. Bobby ordered a round of drinks—scotch on the rocks for him, wine for her—and as soon as the drinks were delivered, he told the waiter to go ahead and bring the menus.
Once the waiter was gone, Bobby leaned back in his chair, looked at Suzanna with the grin she remembered, and teasingly said, “So, go ahead, tell me what you’ve been up to for the past eight years.”
She began, not with tales of the heartache she’d suffered, but stories of Annie’s childhood, how she’d been quick to learn and had an easy laugh. She spoke of the joy she’d felt at hearing that first word and how Annie had walked before she’d crawled. She was talking about how Annie’s hands were so like Bobby’s with long fingers and a strong grasp when he cut in.
“And this new name, Darla Jean, is that something you’re sticking with?”
A moment or two ticked by before Suzanna answered.
“I’m afraid that would be impossible,” she said and gave a sigh of regret. “I’d have to tell Ida the truth, explain that you’re Annie’s daddy and…”
“Don’t do it because of me,” Bobby said. “You’ve got that job to consider, and if you’re happy there we’ll just keep this a secret for a while and see how things work out.”
“There are too many complications…”
The thought of Gregg came without warning, and her words drifted off.
Apparently sensing the change in her mood, Bobby reached across the table and took her hand in his. “Let’s not talk about this now. For tonight, let’s forget about the problems and complications, just enjoy each other’s company, and be as we once were. You remember what that was like, don’t you, babe? We had something really special, didn’t we?”
She nodded and gave a weak smile. “Yes, we had something very special.” Without the slightest bit of resistance, she allowed herself to be taken along as Bobby began to talk about the old days, dredging up stories of the nights they’d made love under the bleachers or behind the thick stand of pines in the park and in the back seat of his daddy’s car.
As they ate dinner and drank she listened to him, and when the hour grew late she began to believe the spark of passion was indeed still there. For eight years it had been squelched by the anguish of separation, but it was still there and she could again feel it. When he reached beneath the table and ran his hand along the inside of her thigh, she gave a shiver of delight.
A short while later, when he suggested they go upstairs where they’d have more privacy, she agreed.
“Let me visit the powder room first.”
Thinking she’d freshen her lipstick and dab a bit of powder on her nose, Suzanna hurried off to the ladies’ room. On the way back, she passed a telephone booth and stopped to call home and check on Annie.
The telephone rang fifteen times before somebody finally picked up the receiver. It was Annie who answered.
“What are you doing up this late? Where’s Grandma?” Suzanna asked.
“Grandma got sick and throwed up. She’s on the sofa.”
“Is she awake?”
“Un-uh, her eyes are asleep.”
Suzanna imagined Ida unconscious and without anyone to care for her, and a sickening fear swelled in her chest.
“I’m coming home right now” she said. “Until I get there, go into the living room and stay with Grandma. If she gets sick again, go next door and ask Mrs. Murphy to come over and check on her.”
Suzanna returned to the table, her face pale and her voice edgy. “I’ve got to leave. I’m worried that something may have happened to Ida.”
As she quickly told of her conversation with Annie, a look of disappointment settled on Bobby’s face.
“She’s probably just sleeping,” he suggested. “Can’t you stay for another hour or so?”
“No, I’ve got to get going now.” She turned to go, and he followed her out. As they crossed the lobby she suggested, “If nothing is wrong, I can meet you here Saturday night and plan to stay over.”
He hesitated a moment then shook his head. “Saturday’s no good. Let’s just make it the same time next Tuesday.”
With worry about Ida foremost in her thoughts, Suzanna quickly agreed.
When they got to her car, she turned to give him a goodnight kiss and he pulled her to him, his hands grasping her buttocks, his tongue pushing its way into her mouth. She wriggled free of him, snapped, “Not now, Bobby!” then climbed into the car and was off.
Suzanna
An Eye-Opening Revelation
AS SUZANNA SAILED THROUGH A string of yellow stop lights, she could feel her heart racing. Ida was not the type to nap and let Annie roam through the house unsupervised. Something was wrong. Drastically wrong. Luckily the rain had stopped, and the drive home took half the time it had taken to get to the Ellington. She pulled in, left the car in the driveway, and came running through the front door.
Ida was stretched out on the sofa, Annie sitting on the floor in front of the television.
Suzanna hurried over, put her hand to Ida’s forehead, then turned to Annie and asked, “Has Grandma thrown up again?”
“Un-uh, she stayed sleeping.”
Ida’s face was hot to the touch, but it was impossible to tell whether she was unconscious or simply in a deep sleep. Suzanna tried shaking her gently, but there was no response. She felt for a heartbeat then glanced over at Annie and said, “Quick, run upstairs and get me the thermometer.”
When she finally caught the thump of Ida’s heart, it seemed slow; definitely slower than her own. She lifted Ida’s hand into hers and called her name, but there was no response. Nor was there any when she slid the thermometer into Ida’s mouth then removed it.
The thermometer stalled halfway between 102 and 103. Wasn’t that the danger zone for an older adult?
Suzanna thumbed through the telephone directory then dialed the number for Dr. Bergmann. His wife, Miriam, answered.
“This is Darla Jean; Grandma Ida’s sick, and I need Dr. Bergmann to come over right away.”
“It’s after eleven! Albert’s already in his pajamas!”
“I don’t care if he comes in his underwear, just get him over here. Grandma’s got a temperature of 103, and she’s unresponsive.”
“I’ll tell him, but he’s not going to like it.”
“He doesn’t have to like it, he just has to get over here. Remember when your daughter needed that dress for her party, I worked two days straight to get it done. I wasn’t crazy about working late, but I did it!” The crackle and snap of Suzanna’s words left no doubt as to her expectations.
When she hung up the phone, Suzanna sat beside Ida and waited. The thought of losing Ida flashed through her head, and tears welled in her eyes. The truth was she loved Ida as much as she’d loved her own mama. She could never leave her. Not for Bobby. Not for anyone.
It seemed like hours passed before Dr. Bergmann rapped on the door. He was wearing trousers and what appeared to be a pajama top. Before he was fully inside, Suzanna rattled off a brief explanation of what happened.
“How long has she been unresponsive?” he asked.
Suzanna looked at Annie. “Honey, do you know when Grandma went to sleep?”
“Un-uh. I already went asleep.”
“But you were up when I called—”
“The telephone waked me up, so I comed downstairs to tell Grandma.”
Dr. Bergmann took over and followed up with his own questions. He asked what time Annie had gone to bed, then if Ida had seemed sick earlier that evening.
Annie nodded. “She catched my germs and was coughing.”
“Did she take any medicine when she was coughing?”
Again, Annie nodded.
“Do you know what medicine she took?”
“Grandpa’s medicine in the brown bottle.” She led them into the kitchen then stopped and looked at the counter with a puzzled expression. “Grandma told me not t
o touch it because it was grown-up medicine, and she put it up there.”
Suzanna poked around in the cupboards for a few moments then checked the garbage can under the sink. The brown bottle was on top of the other trash.
“That’s Grandma’s medicine!”
Dr. Bergmann read the label and shook his head. “This is cough medicine alright, but William had cancer and this stuff is loaded with codeine.”
Seconds later he was on the phone asking for an ambulance.
“Seventy-four-year-old patient, accidental overdose,” he said. “Codeine, acetaminophen.”
Suzanna stood aside as they lifted the stretcher into the ambulance then she buttoned a coat over Annie’s pajamas, and they jumped in the car to follow the ambulance to the hospital. Ida was placed in a small emergency room cubicle, and Suzanna sat beside her while the nurses bustled in and out to monitor and measure her heart rate, breathing, and state of consciousness.
In time Annie fell asleep with her head on her mama’s shoulder, but Suzanna could not sleep. She sat there watching the green light of the monitor as it zigzagged across the screen and counting the droplets that fell from the IV into Ida’s vein, each drop carrying the life-nourishing antidote. Hours passed, and the palest hint of a rose-colored dawn was feathering the sky when Ida’s eyelashes finally fluttered ever so slightly.
Suzanna moved Annie aside and came to stand beside the bed. She took the limp hand in hers and said, “Grandma Ida, can you hear me? Squeeze my hand if you can hear me.”
Several moments ticked by before she felt the arthritic fingers press against hers.
Once Ida’s vital signs stabilized, she was moved to a private room. Suzanna fussed over her for a while then said, “I should take Annie home and feed her, but I’ll come back later this afternoon.”
“No need,” Ida replied. “I’m going to get some rest, and you should do the same.”
After a few minutes of arguing about it, Suzanna gave in. “Okay then, but if you need anything call me right away. Tomorrow morning I’ll be here bright and early to take you home.”
A Million Little Lies Page 22
