But then Wes picked up his Harry Potter book. “So there’s something I can’t figure out,” he said, turning pages.
I scooted in closer until I was right beside him and leaned over to see what Wes was looking for. “What is it?”
Wes came to a stop, his finger pointing out a word on the page. “How do you pronounce her name?” he asked, exasperated.
I laughed. “You don’t want to know how long I said it wrong. Say it with me. HER-MY-KNEE.”
Wes exhaled. “Wow, just like that? Her-my-knee.” He shook his head. “You don’t want to know how I was saying it.”
Oh, how his laugh lit me up inside.
Ten
Our first book club meeting!
It went up on the blog, of course.
The part about Hermione. The part about him confessing he’d noticed my journals and when I had a new one.
Eek!
Then the next day, I couldn’t believe it when there were over a dozen comments. Sure enough, traffic had spiked.
Someone named Lovegood877 asked if this was Harry Potter fan fiction or if it was real.
Oh, it was real.
And so many others had said they couldn’t wait to read what I put up next or that they had shared my blog with their friends.
Meanwhile, I sat on the couch trying not to scream while Wes and Hugo played Fortnite.
He was right there.
My feelings for him on the laptop right in front of me.
And he had no idea that his best friend’s little sister couldn’t stop thinking about him.
He caught my eye for a second and smiled before yelling along with Hugo and they started shooting at something on the screen.
I went back to my computer, still in complete disbelief that my words had been read by so many people around the world. I’d never felt anything like it.
Was this how Lena felt when she made a goal? Or when Ella won that scholarship competition? Or when Harper spent time at the nursing home helping others? How Tori felt doing backflip after backflip in front of crowds?
It had to be.
Reading and writing were my favorite things to do, but this, knowing someone else had read my words?
It was next level.
I kept reading comments, smiling as I read each one.
Your blog is my new favorite thing <3
Omg I need a boy next door in my life… your life is like a movie!
I can’t believe you’ve been in love with your brother’s best friend for years. Why don’t you tell him how you feel? Do you think you ever will?
My fingers hovered above my keyboard, and I wondered how to respond to that last comment.
With the truth, I supposed.
I have no idea.
I glanced at Wes one more time from the couch.
Could a guy be more perfect?
But I could never live it down if he didn’t feel the same way. And if it ever got to Hugo that I had an epic crush on his best friend…
He’d hate me or be grossed out or…
No, I could hardly think about that. I could never do that to him, especially when Wes didn’t even feel the same way.
So for now, writing about it, sharing how I felt about him to the world from behind a screen would be enough.
It was safe.
Congratulations! We’re pleased to inform you…
I glanced over the rest of the email, not feeling how I thought I would at all.
Exhaling, I went back and scrolled through the rest of my inbox, finding another email from admissions. Different school.
It started the same way.
A couple of months ago, I’d applied to two schools. Two safe choices, both within a couple of hours of home.
One was the school Wes and Hugo were at. Another one was farther away but bigger, with more options.
My mom had double-checked my applications and essays at the dinner table, offering suggestions here and there. Reminding me to make a sentence or two more formal.
Then we’d hit submit together, and I’d been relieved to finally stop thinking about college and get back to my life.
Now I sat in class with the #BFFs, frozen and feeling like I might throw up.
Ella glanced at me, her phone in her hand. “Did you hear from UNG too?” She saw my fallen face and I could tell she was ready to console me. “Rey—”
“I got in,” I said slowly. “I got in to both of my choices.”
Ella’s face immediately lit up, and the #BFFs turned around. “That’s great!” She gave me a hug from her desk. “Oh my gosh, congratulations! She got accepted to both schools!”
By then, the teacher had given up on giving her lecture and let everyone check their email on their devices.
I hadn’t been the only one to get in. And a few people hadn’t.
One girl began tearing up right away, excusing herself to the bathroom, and I wondered if I could join her.
Harper and Tori had gotten into the college nearby too. Ella had applied everywhere—and was already decided on GA Tech—so it was no surprise that she’d gotten two more acceptances today.
And Lena, already set on her choice, leaned back and got on Instagram. “I’m so not surprised all three of you got in. I’m just curious to see where the rest of you will go.” She meant besides herself and Ella.
Harper leaned forward. “I think I want to stay here, with my mom. For now, at least.”
“And close to Emerson,” Tori teased.
As far as I knew, the boys were busy making serious life decisions too. I wondered how it would all play out. I couldn’t imagine my friends with any other boyfriends, but what if we were all in different places a year from now? High school, and all its relationships, a thing of the past.
I didn’t hope for that, but I also knew a lot of couples broke up or didn’t last beyond high school. Would the #BFFs and their boyfriends make it?
“Rey?” Harper said.
I came back to reality. “Huh?”
“Any thoughts on where you think you’ll go, especially now that you’ve heard back?” Ella asked.
They all waited for an answer I wasn’t sure I had.
I exhaled. “I…don’t know yet. I have a lot to think about,” I finished.
Tori nodded. “You’ve got a tough choice. But I’m sure you’ll figure it out soon enough.”
They began chattering about class sizes and campus amenities, and it was all I could do not to run away.
I opened up my journal, writing down the names of both schools.
Jotting down pros and cons, I tried to decide where I might fit in best, where I was supposed to go in life.
What if I made the wrong choice?
How were you supposed to know if you were on the right track or had made a wrong turn?
Thinking about all that made my head hurt, and I closed my journal.
Harper glanced at me then Lena asked her a question, stealing her attention away.
A frog rose in my throat, and my eyes brimmed with tears.
Not again, not here.
Why me?
Why couldn’t someone tell me which way I was supposed to go?
Better yet, couldn’t time stop moving so quickly?
If I knew anything, it was that I wasn’t ready to move on.
Lena, Harper, Ella, Tori.
They had already moved on. I could tell by how excited their voices got whenever they talked about late-night coffee runs and dorms and avoiding the freshman fifteen.
Graduation wasn’t for another couple months, but they’d already left me behind.
Eleven
My house was too loud.
Three brothers did that sometimes, so I sought refuge in the backyard.
It was kind of chilly, though, so I pulled on my hoodie and grabbed a thick blanket along with Sorceror’s Stone, a couple other books, and my journal.
The blanket and hoodie didn’t do as much as I would have hoped against the cold, but the shiveri
ng wasn’t so bad that I couldn’t enjoy my chapter of Harry discovering Quidditch for the first time.
For the most part.
All I wanted to do was escape into a world that wasn’t mine.
I glanced at the setting sun, knowing my time out here was counting down.
Before long, I’d have to go back inside, but at least then it would be dinner time.
After a while, my stomach growled, and I wished I’d remembered to bring some snacks.
I set my book down, my pages for the day done too soon.
Today hadn’t been the best day at school, but at least I didn’t have homework to contend with too.
I hugged my blanket closer and thought about today, that icky feeling I got in the pit of my belly when I thought of the #BFFs all going away and forgetting about me.
The frog in my throat was back, and my mouth turned down at the thought of not being friends with the #BFFs anymore.
Another reason I was avoiding the house: I knew that sooner or later I’d have to tell my parents about those two emails I’d gotten today. And they’d want to talk all about it, about comparing tuition and degrees and class sizes, and I didn’t want to do any of that.
Not for a few more hours, at least.
Harry had helped that icky feeling go away, but it all came rushing back now. I let the tears fall, my breath catching with every sob.
I’d kept it in long enough.
I nestled into my bean bag and exhaled.
The sound of a slight thud nearby brought me back to Earth, and I sat up, frozen like a deer in headlights.
Wes.
He’d landed on our side of the fence, also donning a hoodie. Giving me a small wave, he made his way over, and I scrambled to wipe the tears away with the sleeve of my hoodie, not expecting him to climb up here again.
The truth was I wasn’t really in the mood to talk to anyone, not even Wes, on a day like today.
I just wanted to be alone.
But then he was in front of me, sitting down. “Hey,” he said. “Is it okay if I come up here again? I may or may not be procrastinating on a big paper that’s due next week.” His easy laugh normally made me smile but not today.
I bit the inside of my lip, wondering how to let him know in a nice way that it wasn’t okay.
But maybe he got the message because he stopped and stayed silent. “Hey, are you—are you okay? Sorry if I—”
I glanced at him for a second. “It’s okay. Sorry, I just…needed some time alone.”
Staring down at my lap, I could feel Wes’s gaze on me. I shivered, not sure if it was from Wes or the cold.
“I get it,” he said. “You know what? I’ll be right back, and then I’ll leave you alone if you want. Promise.”
He climbed back down and was gone, just like that.
I wondered what he was up to, wishing I’d had the sense to say I was going back inside.
But a minute later, Wes hopped back over the fence, something under his arm.
He climbed up the ladder again, placing a small space heater next to me. “It’s battery-powered. My dad keeps it in the garage in case of an emergency,” he said. “But I thought you could use it. It’s kind of cold up here.”
Wes turned it on, and right away, the air around me warmed up. I put my hands near it, my fingers no longer cold.
Somehow, my mouth broke into a small smile. “Thanks,” I said.
He smiled back, then he turned his head slightly to one side like he was studying me. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked. “Was it someone—” he tried.
“Just had a bad day, I guess,” I said. Then I blew out my breath because I was sure other students would have loved to get two acceptance letters today. Even one. “I mean, it’s just…senior year. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be,” I finished quietly.
I focused on the chipped paint on the wood planks under me, not wanting to look at Wes as the emotions from a few minutes ago came back.
He exhaled, only the sound of his breath filling the air.
I blinked back tears, and Wes came closer until he was beside me. “My friends are all finding their way, they’re ready to just leave, and I’m…” I shook my head. “I feel frozen, like I have no idea what I’m supposed to do or how to figure it out. And I know it’s silly, but I already miss them. What if this is the end of our friendship? They’re going to be so far away and so busy—”
The tears were back. I shut my eyes, wiped at them with my hand mortified.
Wes put his hand on my shoulder. “It’ll work out. With your friends and everything else.”
I nodded, wishing I had a tissue.
Exhaling, I realized how much better I felt just saying all of that out loud. Just like that, a lot of my recent stress seemed to evaporate.
Enough to make me feel like maybe Wes was right. Maybe everything would be okay.
“Thanks,” I whispered.
Wes shifted so he sat cross-legged adjacent to me. Right away, I missed his touch, wishing he’d wrap me in a hug.
Finally wiping all the tears away and looking up at Wes, I said, “Sorry. It’s just…I couldn’t really talk to anyone about it. My friends are so excited to graduate and everything. I didn’t want to be this dark rain cloud hovering above them, raining on their parade.”
“Any time,” he said with a soft smile. “By the way, with metaphors like that, you need to be writing your own stuff, you know that? It’s poetry.”
No, Wes, I wanted to say.
The warmth and kindness in your eyes? That’s poetry.
The curve in your lips, the length of your nose, and your strong chin are all works of art.
He smiled, and a flicker of light went off in my chest. “I can almost see the wheels turning in your head. What are you thinking about?”
I shook my head and looked down. “Nothing. And thank you.”
When I turned back to him, his eyes glanced down for half a second, and I wondered if he might kiss me. He was so close, the air full of something…like fireworks on the fourth of July.
But then the fireworks were over.
He looked away. “I should go,” he said. “I was supposed to be taking out the trash.” He began climbing down then stopped. “Chapter 12 tonight? I’ll message you?”
I nodded wordlessly, and then he was gone.
How was it possible that I was falling in love with Wes more than ever before?
Twelve
A couple of days later, I finally told my parents about the two acceptances.
And just as predicted, my mom scheduled campus visits right away and they both sat me down to “go over my options.”
As I sat there, listening to them go over websites and graduation statistics and all that, though, I couldn’t help but think: what if the right option for me was none of the above?
It was like the SAT and the rest of those standardized tests. Sometimes the answer was simply none of the above.
And I felt like a none of the above.
But I was sure that if I told my parents that, it would never fly.
Ever since my siblings and I been old enough to drool, they’d taught us letters and numbers and shapes. And then read to us every single night, taken us to the library. Taken us on trips around the country so we could see historical sites for ourselves.
And then for me to utter the words that maybe I didn’t want to go to college?
It would crush them.
Or they’d simply say no, that being scared was not a good enough reason not to put myself out there.
So I sat there and nodded and tried to have an opinion on which campus I liked best, which dorms sounded better, and a million other things.
After an hour and a half, I asked if I could go upstairs. “I just remembered. I have an essay due tomorrow, and I need to finish it.”
“Okay,” my dad said, smiling and patting me on arm. “You go ahead. Homework comes first. We can continue this another time.”
My mom
handed me the long list of pros and cons we’d made together.
I gave them each a hug and ran upstairs. When I got to my room, I sighed.
I’d have to make a choice about colleges sooner or later, but for now, not doing it today would be enough.
Shoving the pros and cons list in my desk, I put the whole thing out of my mind. Then I stared out the window. It was after dinner time so the sun had mostly set already, leaving the sky a magnificent navy blue dotted with puffy clouds.
I picked up Sorceror’s Stone from where I’d left it on top of one of my shelves and settled into my reading chair.
It was true that I had an essay due tomorrow, but I’d finished it and the rest of my homework during today’s free period in the library with Ella.
She happened to be an excellent writing partner so I was sure I’d done a good job on my essay.
Which meant I could now read guilt-free.
My favorite kind of reading.
I opened up to today’s chapter, already sad because I knew it would end way too fast.
A couple of pages in, something caught my eye. More of an automatic reaction than anything.
But I did a double take and put down my book.
Wes waved from his window, holding up Sorceror’s Stone with a grin.
I may or may not have shrieked behind my book then waved back.
This had never happened, at least not on purpose.
I walked over to my window, my book in hand.
Wes still stood there. He mouthed something to me, but I couldn’t tell what he was saying.
I shook my head and raised my hands, like huh?
He glanced around and made for his desk. Picked up something. Jotted something down and then came back to the window.
Big block letters in black sharpie stared back at me.
Did you read today’s chapter yet?
I smiled, holding up my book.
He scribbled something else, then held up the paper again.
Sports will never be as fun now that I know about Quidditch. Also, I want a Nimbus Two Thousand.
I held my hand up to my mouth, stifling several giggles.
Grabbing my phone from my pocket, I held it up for Wes to see, then I typed up a message of my own.
#BreakingTheRules Page 6
