by L. J. Hamlin
Mike follows Tommy over to his table, and they both take seats.
“So, what are you doing around here? I haven’t seen you here before,” Mike says.
“My ride crapped out on me. So I have to wait for a friend to finish work so they can give me a ride home. I needed a place I could hang out till then. This place was close, I like coffee, and it gives me a place to draw.”
“You don’t drive?” Mike asks.
“No. I passed my test, but I had an accident. Now I get really bad anxiety attacks when I try, so I gave up. It freaks me out a little just being in a car, but I can mostly cope if someone else is in charge.”
“I’m sorry.” Mike pauses when his coffee and muffin are brought over. “Have you tried therapy?”
“Yeah, I’ve tried. I just can’t get past it. Maybe I will one day, but for now, I have to mooch off friends.” Tommy sighs.
Mike takes a sip of his coffee. “Do you have to wait a long time for your friend?”
“A few hours,” Tommy says, fiddling with his pencil.
“I could give you a ride? I don’t have anything pressing this afternoon. Just let me have my lunch, and I can take you.” Mike hates to think of Tommy stuck here all day, waiting for a ride.
“You’d do that?” Tommy asks, looking surprised.
“Sure, why not? I said I was happy to help you out with stuff. I look after my artists.” Which is true, and Mike would give any of the artists showing in his gallery a ride home if they needed it, not just the cute guys.
“That’d be really great. I have a few things I’d like to be getting on with at home. So it’d be useful to get home sooner.”
“Then I’ll give you a ride in a little bit.” Mike smiles.
“Thank you.” Tommy smiles back, and his smile is thanks enough.
Mike starts to break up his muffin, and Tommy smiles wider. “What?”
“I eat my muffin like that, too. I don’t like taking big bites. I think it’s because I had braces, and it felt weird to bite with those. Apples were worse.” Tommy grins.
“I bet you were cute with braces.” Mike wants to bite his tongue. He shouldn’t be flirting. Tommy is handsome, skilled, and seems genuinely nice. He can have any guy he wants. Mike isn’t down on himself. He knows he’s a catch for his age. He gets dates, but he’s not in Tommy’s league.
“I hated them. I looked like such a dork.” Tommy shakes his head.
“That’s hard to believe, with the way you look,” Mike says, gesturing to the tattoos, the piercings.
“I didn’t look like this in middle school, or high school, really. I mean, I grew my hair out in high school and dyed it, but it was blue for a year and green for senior year. I started getting the piercings in high school. Then the tattoos came when I got to be eighteen. I swear I spend every spare dollar I have on tattoos.” Tommy grins.
Mike raises his eyebrows. “Green hair?”
“I was a punk. I kind of had a rebellious phase, but I’m more chill now. Like I was saying earlier, I wasn’t always comfortable in my skin, but college changed me. Art school you know, it’s great. I loved it.” Tommy pushes his curls off his shoulders, and the long hair suits him. He’s also the kind of guy that can get away with dying his hair. It probably looked good when it was blue and green.
“You were clearly cooler in high school than I was.” Mike shakes his head.
“What kind of guy were you in high school?” Tommy asks.
“I was a jock. Football.” Mike almost wishes he could take the admission back; he’s pretty sure Tommy won’t think much of his jock past.
“Really? A jock. Did you date the head cheerleader, too?” Tommy teases.
“Yes, I did actually.” Mike blushes.
“Oh, I thought, um, well, Dia mentioned…” Tommy breaks off, looking embarrassed.
“She told you I was gay?” Mike guesses.
“Yeah.” Tommy nods.
“I am. But back in high school, I was deeply in denial about my sexuality. It took me till college to come out as Bi,” Mike explains.
“I can understand not being out during high school, but I still find it hard to picture an art gallery owner as a football player. But then, all the football players I knew in high school spent it beating me up for being a fag.”
“You were out? I’m sorry you went through that.” Mike was in the closet in high school, but he never hurt anyone for being gay. He might have said the wrong thing once or twice, but he never beat anyone up.
Tommy shook his head. “I never came out in school, not really. I didn’t tell people I was gay. But I didn’t deny it, either. I don’t think it mattered that I really was gay. They’d have beat the crap out of me if I was straight. I was weird; I wasn’t cool. My dad used to say I made myself a target by not fitting in.”
“No offense to your dad, but that’s a dick thing to say.” Mike frowns, drinking some of his coffee and eating a little of his blueberry muffin.
“Feel free to call him anything you like. We don’t exactly see eye-to-eye.”
“Because you’re gay?” Mike asks.
Tommy rolls his eyes. “Because I’m gay. Because I’m an artist. Because I’m not good at sports. There are a lot of things about me that he never liked. I don’t think I’ve ever made a choice that he agreed with.”
“I’m sorry. That sucks.” Mike’s parents had surprised him with their acceptance when he came out. They’d been shocked because he’d always had girlfriends, but they hadn’t been angry at him—or disappointed. Mike knows he got lucky. He was blessed with loving, accepting parents.
“Don’t worry about it. I’m over it. I moved out as soon as I could, and it made life a lot easier. I’m better off without my family. Dia’s more like a mom to me than my own mom. She’s a good woman.” Tommy still looks sad, and Mike doesn’t know what to do, so he offers Tommy a piece of his muffin.
He’s pleased when Tommy accepts with a smile.
“I want children one day. I can’t imagine treating them differently for not being like me. Who wants their kid to be a carbon copy of them? I don’t.” Mike has thought about kids a lot since his thirtieth birthday. He wants a family, but he wants to do it when the time is right.
“I’d like kids, too. I won’t be like my parents. I’m sure a lot of people say that. But I really mean it,” Tommy says firmly.
“I’m sure you won’t be like them. You’re too kind to be anything but a loving parent.” Mike is sure from what he’s seen that Tommy is kind and accepting. He wouldn’t draw what he did, the way he did, if he wasn’t.
“Thank you. I’m glad you think so.” Tommy smiles.
They keep chatting while they drink their coffees, and they end up sharing Mike’s muffin. Once they’re finished, Tommy packs away his sketch book, and they leave the coffee shop, Tommy pulling out his cell phone. “Just letting my friend know I don’t need that ride.”
“Special friend?” Mike asks. He could kick himself, but his crush on Tommy isn’t going away at all. If anything, it’s getting stronger.
“No, just a friend. I’m not seeing anyone at the moment.” Tommy glances over at Mike as he says that, and Mike would swear the look Tommy gives him is flirty. But he must be imagining things. Tommy wouldn’t flirt with him.
They walk to Mike’s car. Mike unlocks it and they both get in. Mike notices right away the change in Tommy. He goes from being animated and laid back to suddenly tense.
“Are you all right?” Mike asks.
“Yeah. I’ll be fine,” Tommy says, biting his lip nervously.
“You really don’t like being in a car, do you?” Mike asks as he starts up the engine.
“No. I don’t.” Tommy says tightly.
Mike turns on the radio. “Would music help?”
“Yes, and talking. Anything to distract me from the fact I’m in a car.” Tommy looks a little pale.
So when Mike starts driving, he starts talking, about everything and anything, just wanting t
o keep Tommy distracted. To begin with, Mike has to carry the conversation, while Tommy sits stiffly in the passenger seat, just about answering. But after a while, his anxiety seems to ease a little.
“So, do you still play football?” Tommy asks.
“No. I hurt my knee years ago and stopped. And it’s gotten worse with age. Nothing like a bum knee to reminded you that you’re an old man.” Mike snorts.
“You are not an old man,” Tommy says as Mike turns onto Tommy’s block. “God, you have a serious issue about your age.”
“I do not.”
“So, if I asked you out, you wouldn’t give me the excuse that I’m too young for you?” Tommy asks with a raised eyebrow.
“Ugh…what? Why would you want to ask me out?” Mike pulls over in front of the apartment building Tommy had described.
“How about because you’re hot? And kind and smart?” Tommy replies, and he looks calmer now that the car isn’t moving.
“You think I’m hot?”
“Duh, do you even own a mirror? Of course you’re hot.” Tommy snorts.
Mike hadn’t expected this at all. “I don’t know what to say.”
“You could just make it easier on both of us and say yes,” Tommy suggests.
“You can’t be serious. I’m too old for you.”
“In your opinion.” Tommy shrugs.
Mike groans. “Our ages are fact,”
“Do you think I’m immature?”
“No,” Mike says honestly, because from what he’s seen, it’s true. Tommy is, in fact, mature for his age.
“Do you think I don’t know what I want?”
“I’m sure you know your own mind, but—” Mike.
“Then trust me to know what I want. I’d like to go on a date with you. I think we should go out after our meeting next week. Celebrate choosing which of my drawings will be in the show,” Tommy suggests firmly.
“Are you sure?” Mike can’t believe this.
“I’m attracted to you, and I think you find me attractive, too.” The words are bold, but Tommy looks nervous.
“I do find you attractive,” Mike admits. He can’t lie to save his life, and he doesn’t want to hurt Tommy with a lie, either.
“Well then, it’s mutual. Shouldn’t we at least go on one date and see how it goes?”
“I—You make it sound so sensible.” Mike frowns.
“Because it is sensible. So say yes. I’ll come to your office. We’ll pick the drawings. Then we won’t make a big deal of it. We’ll just go out and grab something to eat, talk. It’ll be a good time,” Tommy says, and it’s so damn tempting.
Mike really has enjoyed their time together so far. He’d like to spend more time with Tommy. But he can’t help feeling like he’d be robbing the cradle.
“All right. One date,” Mike says, a little surprised by his own acceptance.
“Cool. I have your number from setting up the meeting. Don’t be surprised if I start harassing you by text.” Tommy grins.
“You are trouble.” Mike decides.
“The best kind,” Tommy says, opening the car door.
“If you change your mind about the date, just let me know. It won’t affect your role in the show,” Mike promises.
“I won’t change my mind. But thank you. I know you’re not the kind of guy who’d be petty like that,” Tommy says, and it makes Mike’s chest swell a little, having Tommy think well of him.
“I’ll see you next week.” Mike can’t help smiling slightly.
“Next week.” Tommy gets out of the car. He waves and then walks towards his building.
Mike drives off, hoping desperately that he hasn’t just made a big mistake. He doesn’t want to make a fool of himself over Tommy, but a part of him really wants to try. He guesses he’ll be spending the week worrying about their date.
* * * *
Sitting in his office, Mike knows he’s working himself into a ball of tension and stress. It’s been a week since he met Tommy, and today Tommy is coming to his office to see him. First to discuss which of his drawings will be in the show, and then for their date.
He still can’t believe he said yes to a date with a twenty-one-year-old. As one of Mike’s friends pointed out, he’s been drinking alcohol longer than Tommy has been alive. That had been Jeremy, his best friend. Jeremy had teased him, but he’d also been supportive. Jeremy had said the date sounded like a good idea.
But is it? That thought has been plaguing Mike all week. He thinks if Tommy hadn’t started sending him texts, he might have backed out. But they’ve been texting a little each day all throughout the week. Tommy texted him first. Mike can’t remember what the message was now, but he remembers smiling at his phone.
Tommy seems determined to get to know Mike. He’s full of questions as well as his own stories. And when they’re texting, it’s easy to forget the age gap between them. Tommy doesn’t come over as young in his messages. He’s mature, but Mike is worried that he’s saying that to justify to himself going on a date with Tommy.
He’s seen silly older men, normally straight guys chasing after some girl half their age, insisting it’s because she’s mature and worldly, when all they want is to get laid by something young and pretty. Mike wants to believe he isn’t like that. He doesn’t just want to get in Tommy’s pants. He likes Tommy. He’d liked talking with him when they first met, and has enjoyed texting him.
Mike’s excited about finally seeing him again. But he also keeps picturing them sitting together somewhere and the looks they’ll get, the things people will think and say. Mike knows he shouldn’t care about what people think, but he does. He can’t help it.
Popularity was once an important thing to him. He’d really wanted to fit in during high school. It was one of the reason he’d never come out. His school hadn’t been ready for a gay football player. Hell, the whole nation is still struggling with it, and he’s been out of school for a long damned time.
Tommy is only twenty-one, but he already seems more confident in who he is than Mike has ever felt. It feels backward. Mike should be the confident one. But just because things should be a certain way doesn’t mean they are or will be.
There’s a knock on the door, and Mike shakes himself and calls, “Come in.” He needs to get himself together. If he worries anymore, he’s going to end up giving himself an ulcer.
“Tommy’s here. Are you ready to see him?” Dia asks.
“No, wait. Come in for a second, please,” Mike asks.
Dia frowns but does as he asks, stepping into the room and closing the door behind her.
“Yes?” Dia asks.
“You know I’m going on a date with Tommy.” Mike hadn’t tried to hide it, and he knows Dia would have heard through her son, if not from Tommy himself.
“Yes.” Dia nods.
“I ah…I was wondering what you thought about it.” Mike’s worried she’ll think he’s just some dirty old man.
“I think it’s a lovely idea. Tommy is such a sweetheart. He hasn’t had a lot of luck with his family or his love life. He deserves to be with someone who’ll treat him right,” Dia says, her fondness for Tommy clear in her voice.
“You don’t think I’m too old for him?” Mike asks.
“Tommy needs someone more mature, I think. He’s an old soul. To be honest, if it was someone else, I might think differently. But Tommy’s old enough to know his own mind. If he wants to go out with you, he should. And as much as I give you a hard time, you’re a good man, Mike. I think you’d be good for him,” Dia says firmly.
“Really? You’re not just saying that? You can be honest with me. I won’t fire you. I’d never do that. You’re like family.” Mike cares for Dia. She’s more than just his secretary.
“I wouldn’t lie to you. Not about this. I love that boy like my own. I want to see him happy. I’ve seen him when he gets a text from you. You’ve been making him happy this week. And I know if things work out for you guys, you’ll support him and his drea
m. You’re a good fit for him.”
“Thank you. I think I needed to hear that. I really like Tommy. He’s a great guy. But I’ve been telling myself he’s too young since I first met him,” Mike admits.
“I don’t like to use clichés, but age is just a number, Mike. It’s not like he’s a sixteen-year-old boy and you’re a sixty-year-old man. Just relax and enjoy your date.” Dia smiles.
“All right. I will. Can you send him in?” Mike asks.
Dia opens the door. “Tommy?”
Tommy appears in the doorway, and Dia pats his shoulder before she leaves.
“Morning.” Tommy smiles. Coming over, he takes a seat and puts his portfolio down on the desk between them.
“Morning. Manage to choose a selection for me?” Mike asks. He knows from their texts that Tommy struggled a bit picking which of his pieces he wanted to show in the gallery.
“I did, finally. I swapped a few at the last minute before I came here,” Tommy admits.
“Okay for me to take a look?” Mike tries to take a sneaky look at Tommy, without making it obvious that he’s checking him out.
Tommy looks good. He has his long, curly hair scraped up into a ponytail, which shows off the tattoos on both sides of his neck. On one side is the face of a brightly coloured phoenix, and Mike wants to see the rest of the phoenix badly. On the other side of his neck is a peace symbol.
He’s wearing a shirt for a band Mike has never heard of, which does make Mike feel old, but he tries to shake it off. He’s going to give this a shot, damn it. He’s not going to let his age stop him spending time with a hot, funny, smart, interesting man.
“At me or my art?” Tommy smiles. He clearly noticed Mike checking him out.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to stare.” Mike blushes. He’s a grown man, for god’s sake. He shouldn’t be blushing.
“No, it’s okay. I like you looking at me. I keep worrying that maybe you don’t like me. Like what if I’m being pushy? I thought you were just being polite by saying no because of the age gap.” Tommy bites his lip, fiddling with that sexy lip ring.
Mike is surprised to hear Tommy sounding insecure. He hadn’t thought Tommy would have those kinds of worries. Maybe he should have. Tommy is sensitive. Why wouldn’t he have worries?
