“I’m sure you’ll be great. As long as you love him lots.”
“I’m sure I can do that. And thanks for this, I’ll definitely be in touch. My name’s Blaise Winters by the way er,” and she looked at his card, “Lance.”
“Nice name. I’ll look forward to your call.” Just as he was about to leave, Estella started to murmur. “Oh, is the baby yours?” He walked over and looked in the stroller.
“Yes, she is. Meet Estella.”
“She’s gorgeous. You’re lucky. And so is your partner.”
“There’s no partner. I’m a single mom.”
“Mmm, that’s good news for me then.”
“Be careful what you wish for.”
“We’ll start with Cerberus. He seems like a good place to start. I’m so glad I came for a run today Blaise. Things are looking up.” He began to run away and turned back briefly to give her a farewell wave.
Blaise knew that she wouldn’t be leaving it too long before she called the new dog trainer.
Her world had changed so much in the last few days, but she wasn’t yet at the stage where she could look forward to the future with gusto. She hoped that time would arrive but at the moment she was hurting too much, from the loss of Agatha and from the fact that her whole life had been upended. She wanted to realize her powers. What did it mean to be a witch? Thankfully, the internet would provide all she wanted to know but what was better than to get it from the horse’s mouth, Alice.
As Blaise entered the house, Estella had fallen asleep again with the gentle rocking of the stroller as they walked home from the park, even though she was overdue for a feed. She was such a good baby and seemed to love the outdoors as much as Blaise did. Cerberus was tired out too and slumped down in front of the fire in the morning room, the afternoon sun still weakly reflecting on the rug and adding to his warmth. Taking advantage of Estella’s sleeping state, Blaise went through to the kitchen where she found Alice preparing dinner. She had thought she’d entered silently but Alice always immediately detected her movement however quiet she tried to be.
“Nice day?” she asked pleasantly.
“Wonderful Alice. It’s cold but so fresh out there. We all enjoyed it so much. Apart from Cerberus running off and causing a mini panic. I thought we’d lost him for a moment.”
“How did you get him back?”
“Well, that was so strange. Someone appeared like magic and called him back. The cheeky dog obeyed him immediately. Although he was a dog trainer, so he probably holds some secret power over them. Anyway, I’m going to employ him to train Cerberus. That was a bit of luck eh?” She walked over to the fridge to retrieve a bottle of milk to warm up for Estella.
“Perhaps. What was he like, this dog trainer?” asked Alice guardedly.
“I don’t know. Average height, dirty blond hair, blue eyes, muscular, clean shaven. I didn’t really notice,” and she smiled impishly at Alice, who raised her eyebrows indulgently.
“Sounds nice,” said Alice with a lopsided smile.
“Yes, he is.”
The microwave pinged to announce that the milk was ready and as Blaise collected it, she kept her back to Alice and said, “I want to know what it means to be a witch Alice. Who am I exactly? If I have special powers, I want to use them. Will you tell me who I am? I need to know.” Alice didn’t answer but Blaise could feel her eyes upon her back. She turned around and was met with the sight of the older woman’s faraway, empty eyes as if she had been transported away.
“Alice?”
“Huh-huh, I heard you Blaise. I knew that this day would come. And you have a right to know who you are. I always begged Agatha to bring you up as a practicing member of our clan. She always wanted to shield you from it, keep you away from the knowledge. But I could see that you were forming questions in your head, which would need answers. Agatha did a very good job of fobbing you off, trying to make you believe that you were like the other kids who attended the local school. You can never be one of them. You know that already, don’t you?”
“I guess I always did. I always felt on the outside looking in. I was always happier in the park alone or making friends with a stray dog. Even watching the ducks and swans made me happier than being with the kids.”
“That’s actually part of being a witch.”
“What is?”
“Being in nature, making friends of animals. Witches prefer animals to people.”
“Can you tell Cerberus that?” she joked, but there was no mirth in her voice.
“He knows already.” Blaise regarded Alice whose face was deadly serious. “That dog is here to guard you. He found his way to you.” She fell silent for a few moments and when Blaise said nothing, Alice continued, “Do you believe me Blaise?”
“Yes. Yes, I do. I have already felt that affinity, something that feels inexplicable but is still there. I have always felt it with animals, but Cerberus is special.”
“Your powers area awakening. You can make them strong, much stronger than others like you. Agatha knew how powerful you could be, that’s why she never encouraged it in you.”
“Will you show me how to strengthen them please Alice?”
Alice just nodded solemnly. Any further discussion was halted by the sound of Estella’s cry, desperate for food, and Blaise responded to it as if activated remotely. Alice stared after her, knowing that she had just agreed to help manufacture a historic turn in earth-shattering events and dread fell over her like night.
Dinner was a quiet affair with the two women talking only of inconsequential and trivial topics. Blaise sensed Alice’s reluctance to be put on the spot further but was itching to get started or at least have a plan and so she persisted. Just so Alice would not think it was a whim and now forgotten.
“Alice, how will my education begin? I know my mother still lives and I would like to see her again. Even if she doesn’t remember me, I need to know that she is happy and living peacefully, wherever she is.”
“I understand your wishes Blaise but that just is not possible.”
“Sometimes, I have visions. If I think of people, it’s like I see them acting out a play. Or I dream of them. It’s more like a daydream. I’ve tried to see my mother. I’ve tried to conjure her up in a daydream. But she won’t come. She’s not there. What does it mean? Tell me that she’s not dead Alice. If you tell me, I will believe you. I will believe whatever it is you tell me because I know that you would not be so cruel as to lie to me about something which means so much to me.”
“I have always tried to tell you the truth Blaise. And I will tell you now that Agatha is not dead, not as you or mortals imagine death. But she is dead to you. Her body still moves on earth but all memories of our clan and community are erased. You can’t see her because your power is not strong enough yet. It is forbidden for us to even try and that is for a very good reason. If you saw her, would it make you feel any better?”
Blaise tried to affirm that yes, she would feel better, but Alice raised her palm in an effort to silence her.
“I doubt that you would. You would yearn to see her one last time, to hold her, to feel her lips upon your forehead and to put the theory to the test that she wouldn’t remember you. Are you not thinking right now that if only you could find her, you could make her remember you?”
Blaise nodded honestly. “Yes, I am. And nothing and no-one can convince me that that is not the case Alice. Please help me. Help me to grow my powers.”
“I have said that I would but no good will come of you trying to find Agatha. Let things be. For Estella’s sake, if nothing else.”
“It is for Estella’s sake I can’t leave it alone Alice. Our clan is living by rule that were abandoned by women so many years ago. If I had grown up with the knowledge of who I am perhaps I would have been able to accept the status quo more readily. But I can’t. I am a child of the 21st century and I can’t now take both my feet out of that camp and move to that of the clan. It’s not possible Alice. And I don’t
want Estella to have to do it.”
Alice had closed her eyes as if in silent prayer.
“We will start tomorrow. I have a deck of tarot cards somewhere. I will give them to you. The tarot works best when the deck is gifted. We will start there and see how you get on. The cards are simply a guideline. Let’s see how you interpret them and that will give us an idea of our starting line.”
“Thank you, Alice. I am very grateful to you.”
“Let’s hope you’re still saying that in a few weeks’ time.”
“Whatever happens, I will always remember your kindness and how you always looked after me.”
They were both startled by the house phone ringing on the kitchen wall and Blaise jumped up to answer it.
“Oh hello. Yes, I had a marvelous time, thank you. Tomorrow? Okay, what time? That will be fabulous. I’ll be ready. Bye.”
She took her seat at the table again and felt Alice’s eyes on her silently questioning.
“It was Jacques. Inviting me to his house to ride one of his horses. He was telling me last night that he has a stable full and I said that it had been a considerable time since I’d ridden horseback. He’s coming for me at 2 tomorrow. I’m looking forward to it already.”
“Do you like him?”
“Like him?” and Blaise seemed to pause and consider the question. “Yes, I do like him. He is charming and handsome and witty. What’s not to like?”
Alice’s head swung rapidly round so that she was looking at Blaise. “What?”
“Oh, yes, apart from him being as old as Methuselah and the devil incarnate, but hey, I can overlook that if I try hard enough eh?” She smiled mischievously. “Don’t worry Alice. I know what I’m doing.”
“That’s exactly what I am worried about Blaise. You don’t have the first idea.”
Chapter Six – Lessons
When Blaise got into bed that night it wasn’t with much hope that she would sleep easily. She could not wait for the next day to begin so that she could start her training in earnest. She had never seen a pack of tarot cards but had heard of them. She was already aware that her sixth sense was remarkably well-honed and that if she had a premonition it was usually accurate.
She closed her eyes and relaxed enough to meditate without falling asleep. She had always been able to do this, without prompting or tutelage and it came easily to her now. This was normally when she had her insights about future situations and how she made any decision of import. She imagined herself in the woods, which was not a place that she was familiar with in real life. But in her relaxed state, she had visited these same woods so many times that they felt like a second home to her. Even the leaves she passed felt somehow familiar and she touched them with her hands as she passed them feeling the texture. She started to notice things like how dark it was in the woods and saw the rays from the sun cutting through the branches of the trees.
She came to a clearing in the forest and there was a fork in the path: one leading right and the other left. Which should she choose? She paused momentarily and chose the left. This place was her sanctuary where no-one else could find her. She was always safe here. She walked along a path and came to a row of cottage and entered the third cottage. There was a fire in the grate, its embers glowing like a dormant furnace. She could smell cake fresh from the oven and the coffee which had just brewed. She took a seat at the table and helped herself to both. The taste was exquisite.
And then, as always happened she heard footsteps on the stairs. It was someone coming down to see her and she waited patiently to see who would appear. She never knew who it would be but the person who surprised her was always the person who could offer the answers she was seeking at the time. Today, when Agatha appeared, it made her squeal out with joy. Agatha!
The two women embraced, and Blaise could feel her cheeks wet with tears. There had been no time or goodbyes, and this was the answer to her prayers. Finally, Agatha took her place opposite Blaise around the table and they surveyed each other lovingly.
“I have missed you so much Mom.”
“I know. If I could have changed the course of events I would have done so. But what you are planning won’t bring me back to your world Blaise. I’m happy now. Let it be.”
“I wish you had told me who I was.”
“I did what I thought was best. I wanted you to have a carefree life. Now you have the weight of the world around your shoulders. I am so sorry I could not stop your pain arriving.”
“Mom I know it wasn’t your fault. But I will come into my power and I will escape the fate that awaits me. My fate will be different to yours and so will Estella’s. She will be free.”
“I beg you to let things be. You cannot beat Jacques. He will quash your attempts and leave you broken.”
“Trust me, I know he will not. Already he is fond of me. He is a lonely man craving love. He is a man as well as a witch.”
“He has managed to suppress all thoughts of mortal life for hundreds of years. Why should you make him feel differently?”
“Because I am the challenger of his power. And I will be conqueror. It is the reason I was born. My child will bear her own child instead of being gifted one.”
“I could not have loved you anymore than I do.”
“I know that. And my love for you is bottomless too. But I am a child of the modern world. The western world where women have fought for and won their freedom. If I am a witch, then I will be queen of my own destiny. No man shall rule me.”
“So be it. Then I wish you well. Remember in my letter that I said I would always be with you? That is still the truth. I will always guard your back. All you have to do is listen and you will hear my whisper gently in your ear and feel my breath upon your cheek. I love you more than life. Blessings.”
Agatha got up for the chair and stroked Blaise’s face, kissing her on the top of the head. “Goodnight my darling. Love you.”
“Goodnight mom. Love you.” It was how they had always said goodnight for as long as Blaise could remember. Agatha turned and disappeared out of the room and Blaise noticed that the fire had died down which meant it was time to go. She let herself out of the cozy cottage and walked back along the path, which was strewn with leaves of gold and red and she could hear them crunching underfoot. She came to the fork in the path and followed it until she was out of the woods. Time to open her eyes now.
Cerberus sat on the bed pressed up to Blaise’s legs for warmth and comfort. She patted his head and he whimpered and looked into her eyes. “It’s okay boy, we’re going to be okay, aren’t we?” The dog’s head went from side to side before he licked her hand and snuggled up to her legs again as closely as he could. Blaise closed her eyes and slept peacefully.
When Blaise woke early the next morning, she knew that there was no urgency to track down Agatha. Being able to see her yesterday had been enough to satisfy her that Agatha was not in danger. She would concentrate instead of her own self-development and strengthen her powers as much as possible.
Breakfast was fruit and yogurt, which Blaise hurried so that she could get started on her work as quickly as possible. As usual, Alice was already up and had fed Estella who cooed placidly in her crib. Blaise greeted her child and was just as wondrous about having a baby of her own as when she had first been gifted. She knew she should leave her be when she was happy but couldn’t resist picking her daughter up to cuddle her and smell her baby warmth. She smothered her head in kisses and murmured quietly to her.
“You are going to grow up to be free my darling girl. To be whatever you choose to be. To marry a mortal should you choose and have your own child. But I could not love anyone more than I love you.”
“So why would you want anything different Blaise? I don’t understand what you’re saying.”
“Because I can’t agree to women being second class citizens. And that’s what we are. Don’t you agree Alice? Our fate is decided by the male of our species. Do you think that is right or fair?”
Blaise, I have lived with this principle for hundreds of years now. It’s all I know. To me it seems normal and yes right. At least we don’t have to grow old and know the aches and pains that come to mortals.”
“But we become mortal anyway don’t we?”
“But only we are past the childbearing age. And is our academic intelligence transferrable or do we slot nicely into the role whatever that demands of us? If it is death, can we ever achieve academic brilliance when we step into our mortal role?”
“It is the natural order of things Blaise. As it has always been. Try to accept it. You will be a lot happier. There is no point hankering after something, which will always be out of reach. Relax and accept what’s on offer. You could have a wonderful life. Why would you want to grow old?”
“Like you, you mean? Are you unhappy Alice?”
“Happy? Unhappy? I’m not sure I am capable of either sentiment.”
“What happened to your son? What was his name?”
“My son? Even when I think of him, I’m not sure if I am happy or unhappy. His name is Marius and I haven’t seen him since he was 18. He rules another clan now but in Italy. At least as far as I know he does. I’m happy that he has risen to a position of power and is esteemed by all. But my heart is broken that I shall never see him again. Jacques has given me the choice to join the mortal coil, but I can’t bear to think that it would mean I would relinquish all hope of ever seeing Marius again. I live with the desire to hold him again, just once, constantly burning within me.”
“There is no solace in your words Alice. You have said nothing to make me change my mind. At least another ten, twenty, thirty years more or seeing this little darling would be enough. I could watch her grow and have children of her own, if that’s what she wanted. But the most important thing would be that she had choice. She was free to make her own decisions about her life instead of being ruled by some outmoded law which should have been modified decades ago.” Blaise kissed the baby and laid her back in the crib before sitting back at the table.
Witchy Secrets Page 4
