CHAPTER XVI The Apology
"But--but I didn't do it in that spirit in the least, Miss Polly," theyoung man pleaded, still refusing to let the girls pass him unless theyactually forced their way. "It was all a joke, a horribly poor one, Iagree with Miss Meg. But it began by accident and then grew until none ofus realized how foolish and worse than that it was. Oh, if you only knewwhat it is like to feel like a cad and to hate yourself through andthrough and yet to know that whatever you do you can never change things!We never dreamed you would take it all so seriously or be so completelydeceived. We thought you would see through us pretty soon and then scoldfor a while and afterwards laugh along with the rest of us."
"But Polly's ambition is not a joke to her," Betty returned, seeing thatPolly either couldn't or wouldn't speak. "She takes it as seriously asyou can take the most serious ambition of your life. And to come here anddo her best in order that all of you might make fun of her, really it isso cruel and in such bad taste I don't feel I can like any of you for along time, not even Meg and Mollie." Betty's gray eyes were so full ofhigh-bred reproach, her face betrayed such a spiritual distaste that, ifBilly Webster could have felt more humbled, which was quite impossible,he would have at this moment.
"But I was not making fun, at least not after Miss Polly began herrecitation," he returned. "I thought it quite remarkable and I would havegiven a very great deal if that accident had not happened so that I mighthave heard her straight through. I confess I don't approve of well-bredgirls even thinking of going on the stage, and I do sincerely hope MissPolly will give up the idea before she is much older, but if it's aquestion of talent, well, I don't think there can be much doubt of herhaving talent enough."
Billy said this so earnestly and with such evident sincerity that at anyother time it might have slightly appeased Polly. Now, however, herfeelings were too badly wounded for any outside balm.
Mollie was crying, so that she could hardly do or say anything, but Megwalked quietly up to Billy Webster, taking him by the sleeve. "Let thegirls go now, Billy, please. It is not the time to detain them. Perhapswhen Polly has thought things over a little she will realize we did notintend to wound her so deeply and will remember that she has probablymade mistakes with people sometimes herself. I expect Mollie had betterstay all night with me so that she won't have to discuss this questionany more to-night."
And at this Polly and Betty both looking a little relieved retired intothe hall, where they found their coats and hats and put them on withMeg's assistance, saying good-bye to her politely enough as they startedtoward home.
It was not necessary, however, for Polly to have to ask Betty not to talkto her on their way to the cabin, for Betty's gift of sympathy andunderstanding was one of her surest charms. She even explained to Roseand the other girls on their arrival that Polly had developed a headacheon the trip back from town and asked to be left alone for the rest of theevening to sleep it off. However, when supper was over, by Polly'srequest, she asked that Rose would give her a few quiet moments and inthose moments she made her friend's and her own confessions. Rose was notquite so angry, or so wholly on Polly's side, as Betty believed sheshould be. For in the first place Miss Dyer was vexed with the two girlsfor not having told her of their intentions and suggested that theirinterview having developed into a joke was perhaps the best way out ofit. It was rather an unkind joke, but then Polly took herself far tooseriously and in her heart of hearts Rose hoped the young lady mightlearn a useful lesson through her uncomfortable experience.
And in a measure Rose's wish was gratified, for Polly did not soonrecover from her hurt and shame and did not refer again either to MissAdams or her own future ambition. Apparently, so far as any one knew, shehad given up all thought of it, for she settled down more seriously tothe work of the Camp Fire, gaining each month additional honors, and wasalso working to acquire a prize at school. Of course she had to forgiveMollie her part in her discomfiture; Mollie was so truly repentant onceshe discovered how deep was her sister's hurt and Polly with all herfaults was not one to cherish anger. Then by and by she also made up withMeg, though it was a good many years before she had exactly the sameintimate feeling with her as she had with the other Camp Fire girls. Infuture years it was always Mollie and Meg who were particularly intimate.But there was one person whom Polly could not bring herself to pardon.For the rest of that winter she never again spoke to Billy Webster. Heand Mollie remained good friends and sometimes with another girl used totake walks together, so that Polly saw him now and then at the cabin andoftentimes when she was walking or driving through his father's woods.However, though he never failed to raise his hat to her, she alwaysbehaved as though he were made of thin air and so impossible for her tobehold.
However, Polly had not given up her ambition in spite of her alteredbehavior. Nevertheless, the shock to her pride had, though she did notherself realize it, been extremely good for her, making her realize howsilly her pretensions must seem to other people. And so through this, andby watching Esther Clark go quietly ahead with her music, workingsteadily without asking either for reward or admiration, she learnedseveral valuable lessons. Besides, Polly was so truly happy in thethought that her beloved mother was to return home early in the spring.
Mrs. O'Neill had written her daughters that she was coming home in Apriland that she had a wonderful secret to tell them which she hoped theywould rejoice in for her sake. She also said that an old Irish uncle haddied during her stay abroad and had left to Mollie and Polly a legacy oftwo thousand dollars each, so that they need have no worry about theireducation. If it were possible Mrs. O'Neill hoped to see Mrs. Ashtonbefore coming back to America, so that she could bring Betty and Dick abetter report of their father's exact condition than letters had yet beenable to give them.
The Camp Fire Girls Amid the Snows Page 16
