by Edwina Fort
“So, he is beating her?” I asked curling up in the plush chair kitty corner from him.
He nodded as he began the game. “It’s crazy too, because she like seven months pregnant.”
“Why don’t somebody do something about it?”
“Man, we’ve tried. She just end up going right back to dude. Because Derrick is loyal as f*** to my brotha, Rome tried to talk to him and her. But she just cry and tell everybody to stay out her business. She love dude. She say sh*t like, it ain’t his fault, and she could have done better.”
“She was going to school to be a nurse, but he shut it down. Didn’t want her doing better than him. My brother felt bad for her and offered her the job cleaning his pad. Hell, he pay her more than what she would have made at the hospital anyway. Of course Derrick don’t have no problem with that ‘cause he think her working for Rome will somehow get him in. He been trying to be down with Rome’s crew for the longest time.”
Nossa! Rob was a wealth of information.
“Her mama came up her from Louisiana a few years ago and tried to take her back home where she could try and help her get on her feet, but she wouldn’t go. Derrick begged her to stay with him. Now dude don’t even let her see her mama no mo’.”
Pausing the game, he looked over at me. “The moral of that long a** story is, you can’t help nobody that don’t want yo’ help.” Un-pausing the game he went back to playing.
Well…
Although his words were kind of crass, he had a very valid point. Many times people have risked their lives to help someone out of an abusive relationship only for the person to turn around and go right back to their abusers. Look at me…It took me eighteen years to finally work up enough courage to leave home.
My mother took her anger out on me every time she had more than two glasses of wine, which was practically every day. There were a few rare occasions where she’d smile at me and tell me how pretty I was.
Those occasions be the reason you stay. Hoping that today will be the day your abuser decides to smile at you rather than hit you.
I shook my head. Even though I knew Rob’s words were true, that you can’t help anybody that don’t want your help, it still didn’t quell the rage in me. It still didn’t make me not want to bash Derrick’s head in.
I swear y’all, if I didn’t have these explosive devices around my ankle, that’s where I would be right now. Happy would just have to cry, ‘cause I’d be kicking the sh*t out of his a**!
Rob ended up staying for a little while before he left promising to come back with some more goodies for dinner. I picked up my search for the key after that.
However, after about an hour or so when I still didn’t find it, I ended up doing something I hadn’t done in a while.
I laid in Rome’s big bed and took a nap.
And it felt wonderful.
True to his word, Rob came back high as a kite with something called Gyro Cheeseburgers and a huge picture of red Kool-Aid. He and I sat at the table and ate and laughed. He had me in tears telling me about the fight between Rome and Jo.
I would have given anything to have seen it. Until I meet Rome, the Sarge was the only person I knew that could defeat me in hand-to-hand combat. Well…maybe old Albert too…
Maybe…
I can only imagine how shocked Rome was to be so easily defeated. If only he knew, there was nothing normal about Jo. Up underneath all that smooth talking and politician smiling was a natural born killer. I’ve seen the Sarge… Or rather the Politician do some things that defy nature.
He’s faster, stronger, and more vicious then any human I’d ever met. My brothers-in-arms and I used to make fun of him, calling him the real-life superman. And we all knew that although we shared a few laughs about it, didn’t make it any less true.
Poor Rome, somebody should have warned him…
After dinner Rob helped me clean up so there wouldn’t be a huge mess waiting for Happy when she got here in the morning. She said she came for about an hour every day. Because I think it was something of an escape for her, I didn’t want to step on her toes. But at the same time, I didn’t want her to think I was some pampered princess, because that was the furthest thing from the truth.
When Rob left, I kind of roamed aimlessly around the loft for a bit before I found myself sitting in that King-sized chair in front of that beautiful computer. Very carefully I booted it up…
Instead of starting an immediate search of the hard drive, I searched the web for some mundane things and casually found myself looking through some files. An envelope popped up in the corner of the screen that said, click me.
Even though I had a bad feeling about it, my curiosity won.
I clicked it.
A few seconds later I was sitting back in my chair surprised when all the screens in front of me woke up, and videos I thought was long gone showed up on them. Each screen was playing a different one of my confessionals.
My name is Nahkti Thomas, My name is Nahkti Thomas, My name is Nahkti Thomas… played on each screen at different times making a rhythm.
What the he---?
The big screen went black before Rome’s handsome face appeared on it.
“Good evening, Minha Anjo. You’ve been a very naughty girl.”
I looked up as the lights overhead dimmed and nearly jumped out my seat when the heavy drapes began to close. When it was done the loft looked like it was lit with a hundred candles. Next, the sound of smooth Neo Soul came out of speakers that were overhead somewhere.
I sat back in the chair astonished as each screen began to flash the last sixteen years of my life on them. On one screen was my medical history from the time I enlisted in the military till my last check up a few months ago.
On another screen was footage of me in the field. There was footage of me dressed in a little black cocktail dress wearing a hot pink wig flirting outrageously with my mark. Footage of me wearing a black wig dressed in another mini dress sitting at a bar waiting for my mark to approach me because I was just his type.
There was even footage of me slipping out of a black Cadillac truck, my mark dead in the front seat.
What the f***! That happened in Moscow. How in the world did he get a hold of that video?
Another screen showed me sitting in the psychologist office nodding off while he tried to get me to talk about my father.
Another screen showed me with a huge grin on my face being chased down the streets of Siberia by several Siberian officers.
Another screen showed me dancing at a bar before it fast forwarded a little and showed me swinging on some fool that couldn’t take no for an answer. The footage fast forwarded a little more and showed me running through the crowded bar that had erupted in a huge brawl and jumping over the bar to take down the bartender who was on the phone with the cops blaming me for the whole thing. The footage fast forwarded a little more to show me being led out in handcuffs…fast forward a little more to show Old Albert bailing me out of jail.
My shocked gaze rose to connect with Rome’s amber one on the big screen. I had never been made before. And to be made at such an extent.
I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. I have never felt so exposed. It felt as if he could see my soul.
Instead I distracted myself by studying his background. It looked as if he was sitting in front of a very nice glass house. Reflecting in the glass was the beach. I could hear the waves and the seagulls in the background. The sun was setting behind his head.
It was a very beautiful scene.
He lifted a snifter of amber liquid that matched his eyes and took a sip, seeming to be in no hurry at all, just patiently waiting for me to take in the flood of information before me.
Nossa!
There was no way he should have been able to get a hold of these files. What the hell?
“What’s the matter, Nahkti Thomas? You look as if you’re sitting in the room with a
ghost.”
I was sitting in the room with a phantom or rather looking at one on the screen. This guy was more advanced than Jo thought. Now I understood the look on the doctor’s face when I asked why he wanted to study Rome’s mind.
How in the world had he gone unnoticed all this time? How could one with these capabilities not be on every government watch list in the world?
And then it hit me…
“By pretending to be a drug dealer.” I said out loud.
Now it all made sense. He’d fed the world a stereotype and they’d believed him. They never thought to look past the white t’s, baggy jeans and designer gym shoes. Just assuming because he was black, young, and a thug, he was dumb.
He took another sip of his drink. “What have you figured out, Minha Anjo?”
“You.” I told him looking at him with brand new eyes. “How—?”
I was so astonished I couldn’t even finish my question. My gaze took in the other computer screens that still had the last sixteen years of my life flashing across them.
He was brilliant!
For the first time in a long time I felt exposed. I felt open. The Navy’s psychologist had been trying to make me feel this way for the last ten years with no luck. And here all Rome did was flash my life before my eyes in a sequence that made me see me.
And most importantly, let me know that he saw me…
“Why have you shown me this?”
He didn’t answer right away, just continued to study me with that intense gaze of his. Now more than ever it intimidated me. Now I understood that he saw way more than I could imagine. Now I understood what the doctor meant when he said Rome was not a genius, but a phenomenon.
What was going on with him felt spiritual. It felt as if his power came from somewhere else.
“I need you to know that I see you. And…” He paused for a moment and for the first-time since I’ve known him, looked vulnerable. “I think you’re perfect.”
His words were low. He spoke them in a way that let me know he’d never said them before. Just like me, this was new territory for him. I settled back in his chair drawing my feet up hugging my legs close.
He’d dimmed the lights and made it so intimate it almost felt as if he was right here with me instead of sitting on a beach somewhere.
“Did you decide to go on vacation?” I muttered. Now that my cover was blown, I felt like this was his and my first real conversation. If felt strange…
He chuckled. “Believe it or not, I’m here on business.”
I nodded…
“I have a question for you…” His deep voice came from the speaker. “What’s with the confessionals?”
Chuckling, I shook my head… “Jo went from being our brother-in-arms to our sergeant almost overnight and it freaked him out. So, he started reading all these self-help books on how to command your friends basically.”
I laughed a little remembering how bad he sucked at it at first.
“He really had a hard time dealing with me, he and I were practically raised together. We’re like sister and brother. His book told him to set up video documentaries so that his friends could confess to the camera what they can’t necessarily confess to their commanding officer.”
“But none of us wanted to do it, so he would have to force us. Of course, I was always in trouble, so my video time became confessionals. He made me go through the same steps as an alcoholic by first telling my name and then admitting my problem.”
Rome shook his head frowning. “What an idiot…”
I held my head back and laughed really good… “I thought so too.”
“No, I mean he was wrong.”
I frowned up at him. “Wrong about what?”
“He was wrong about you being bat sh*t crazy.”
Hmmm…I could tell him Jo wasn’t wrong and that I was a little crazy. Sometimes I felt a little crazy. But I was curious to see what a person with a phenomenal mind thought about me.
“Explain.”
He nodded sitting up in his lounge chair a bit. “At first I too thought you were crazy as hell. But then I studied your file a bit and went back to match some of your therapy sessions with your outbursts. Take a look at the screen to your left.”
My medical records changed to show footage of me sitting in therapy while the doctor asked me questions about my father, and I answered them to the best of my knowledge.
“In this session the doctor probed you about your father. Take a look at the screen next to it.”
On the screen next to it, it showed me and a few of my brothers singing karaoke at this little dinky watering hole in the dessert.
“This is the same night after your session. As you can see, no violent outburst, no fits of rage. Now, look back to the screen on your left.”
The screen now showed me in a therapy session, but this time the doctor was asking me questions about my mother. I didn’t want to talk about my mother, I closed my eyes and pretended to be tired.
“Now this is what happened that night after the session.”
The screen next to it showed me pistol whipping one of the informants that was trying to feed me bad information.
“When I went back and studied all of your outburst videos, the common denominator was you being in therapy earlier that day or the day before discussing your mother.”
He typed something in his lap top and the painful footage of me trying to tell the doctor I didn’t want to talk about my mother went away.
“So, as you can see, Jo is an idiot. You’re not bat sh*t crazy at all. You’re angry. You’re angry because you have mommy issues.”
Dear God!
I don’t know if you guys ever had someone read your soul, but this was a first time for me, and the only thing I could do was stare at him and try my best not to cry. I’d been told my whole life I was crazy.
By first my mother, then my teacher, my friends in high school, my brothers-in-arms…even old Albert told me I had a few screws missing in my tool shed.
Could what Rome said be true?
After all these years, could I have been lashing out in anger? I’ve convinced myself that I didn’t need my mother’s love. I didn’t need anybody. So why would I be angry?
I wasn’t angry…
Was I?
And if I am angry, how do I fix it?
Even though I didn’t want him to know how vulnerable I was right now, I wanted to know the answer to my question more…so I asked him.
“How do I fix being angry?” My words were barely over a whisper. I couldn’t look him in his eyes, instead I stared at the reflection of the setting sun in the huge glass windows behind him.
“Tenderness…”
My gaze flew to his. Did he just say tenderness?
Tenderness???
What the hell am I supposed to do, gently beat the hell out of my enemy? Maybe I should massage their backs before I plant my foot in the center of it.
I shook my head. “Naw, I don’t think that’s it.”
He chuckled. “You sound like me earlier. But upon further examination, that is exactly what you need…Someone to teach you tenderness.”
“Whoa, wait… you mean I need tenderness?”
With a grin still on his handsome face he nodded before pointing at me through the screen. “You need tenderness, and I’m the man who’s going to teach you.”
I stared at him for a moment to see if he was joking. When he didn’t say anything else, I threw back my head and laughed.
Do y’all hear this? The thug that put explosive devices around my ankles says he’s going to be the one to teach me tenderness.
Ha! That was hilarious.
He took a sip of his drink. “You know, Minha Anjo, the last time you challenged me, I’d asked you your name, and you wouldn’t tell me. I warned you that I could get all of your information if I put my mind to it, and you still didn’t tell me. Back then I only wanted your n
ame, but know I feel as if I know all there is to know about you.”
His statement brought my laughter to a dead stop.
Damn it!
He’s right…He’d asked me my name and I didn’t give it to him. And what did he do? He ended up dissecting my whole life. He’d not only dug up my name, but my medical records, my therapy sessions, he even found footage of me out in the field.
Note to self: Stop challenging this man!
“By the way, where is your mother now?”
His question took me off guard and before I knew what was happening, I opened my mouth and this came out:
“Dead…she died a few years after I enlisted.”
“Oh, okay…I was wondering why I couldn’t find anything about her in your files.”
“She was not a U.S. citizen…apparently it was the one thing my father did for me before disappearing out the picture. It’s his last name that I have.”
Sensing that the topic made me uncomfortable, he thankfully changed the subject, and would you guys believe he and I ended up chatting all through the night until the first rays of the sun touched the sky? Me sitting in his king size chair and he in his lounge chair at the really nice glass beach house. At some point he’d gotten up and walked into his room for the evening.
He said the house belonged to his associate who he’d flown to California to meet with. He’d agreed to stay overnight because they had to meet again in the morning and it didn’t make sense to go to a hotel, when his associate’s house was way nicer.
Once he made it back to his room he’d settled down in the bed and proceeded to talk to me about everything. And guess what. He was right earlier when he said he and I had a lot in common. For one thing, the both of us hated Star Wars, but loved Lord of the Rings. He told me the earth was really like that before Noah’s flood.
“How do you know?” I’d asked him.
“It says it in the Bible. Genesis 6 talks about the time giants walked the earth.”
My mouth dropped. “You’ve read the Bible?”
He chuckled. “Several times. Although we didn’t go to church much, my mother brought us up to acknowledge the Most High in all we do. Granted, I am a bit of a heathen these days, my goal is eventually to get my life together and start living right.”
