“I don’t care. What does any of that have to do with us?” I was beyond tired of all of it.
“You are the Lady of the Lake,” he intoned very slowly.
“Yes, thank you. I’d figured that out.” I glared at him. “No thanks to you.”
“Do you realise what that will mean?”
“Yes, it’s fantastic, there’ll be a parade, the blood will grow strong and the land will be well. Petals will fall from the sky and the illness will miraculously be cured,” I spat out. “Have I missed anything?”
“That about covers it.” He leaned back against the wall, one arm behind him to help lever himself down onto the cushions below the window.
“Is it your wound?” He had been fine all day, and in the few days since Ewan had treated him he had made a total recovery, or so I had thought.
His shoulders slumped slightly. “It’s the middle of the night, Cassandra,”
Without thinking, I was beside him, leaning in to take his weight and help him back to the bed. The skin creased at the corners of his eyes as he looked directly at me, his face only inches away.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m helping you to bed.”
Even as the words left my mouth, I realised I had overreacted; he did not need my assistance to get to his bed. My face warmed as the other interpretations of my words occurred to me. And just like that, the atmosphere in the room changed. He was well enough not to need my assistance to get to his bed, but here we finally were: Devyn, his bed and I all alone in this room in the middle of the night.
My eyes dropped to his lips; it had been so long since I had felt their touch. My fingertips traced their way along the place my own lips longed to be, though I couldn’t recall lifting my hand. I looked up to assess his reaction, but his lashes skimmed his cheeks as he let my fingers have their way. Awareness crackled down the bond between us.
His chest rose and fell shallowly, while the fire crackled on the other side of the room. I cursed it for its loudness. He stood abruptly, towering over me, but his dark gaze met mine. I touched my lips with my tongue, my mouth dry with nerves. His gaze snagged on the movement.
He was alive, and it had been so long since we had touched like this. I reached up and ran my hands along the nape of his neck. I rose onto my tiptoes to gain some much-needed height so I could bring our lips another inch closer. I put a fraction more pressure on the hand at his nape.
“Please,” I breathed.
With a groan, he swooped, and his mouth was on mine, his arms around me. He swept me up until we tumbled together onto the bed, his hands sweeping under the full-length white cotton nightgown that I had been given by someone back at his father’s house. My own hands pulled at the tunic he wore, pushing it up and out of the way to get to the warm, clean satiny skin underneath. I yanked it over his head, clearing the way to the expanse of muscular darkly golden chest beneath.
A flinch alerted me that the movement had jarred his shoulder.
“Oh, sorry, sorry.” My hands froze as he stilled above me. His skin glinted bronze in the firelight as he pulled away from me.
“No.” I caught his left arm in both hands, this time avoiding the still bandaged shoulder. “Please.”
He stared balefully at my hands until I released him. I fell back and stared at the ceiling.
“You should go.”
I sat up, my cloak spread beneath me on the bed, the nightdress hanging off one shoulder. I hoped I was cutting at least half as tempting a figure as he was, standing there all brooding and rumpled. He wouldn’t even look at me.
“I came here to talk.”
“We can talk in the morning.” He strode over to the door and, after checking the hallway, opened it wide, letting the cold come flooding into the room.
“I want to talk now. I need you to explain to me what’s going on with you.” I lifted my gown to cover my shoulder in a show of good faith.
“Tomorrow,” he said, continuing to hold the door wide.
I stomped over to him, or as close to stomping as could be achieved barefoot.
“Now.” I meant it. I was done with him shutting me out. “ You keep saying we can’t be together. I need you to explain it to me. Properly. All of it.”
I folded my arms and planted my feet. I was going nowhere.
He pushed the door closed and brushed past me, but my triumph was barely a breath long as I felt the heavy fall of a cloak about my shoulders.
Then I was being propelled towards the door. I braced myself against it, and it made a satisfyingly loud noise as it slammed shut.
I swirled to face Devyn.
“You idiot. You can’t be caught in here,” he said in exasperation.
“Can’t I? What will happen? Will my marriage to Marcus be called off? Will they think we are sleeping together if they find me here in your bedroom in the middle of the night? So what if they do? Bronwyn and Gideon suspect anyway.”
It seemed a stunningly simple realisation. I was done playing by Devyn’s rules. Why shouldn’t everyone know we were together? What could they do about it?
The clack-clack of steel-toed boots could be heard coming down the hall.
Devyn frowned at whatever he read in my eyes and pushed me against the door, covering my mouth with his hand as the footsteps came closer. As if that could stop me, I pulled my foot back and then kicked the door with as much force as I could muster. It hit the door with an annoyingly quiet thud, but it was enough that the footsteps went silent.
Devyn’s exasperation doubled and he glared down at me before his hand was gone, replaced by meltingly warm lips as he kissed me again… wholly and thoroughly. My arms wound up around his neck again, holding him to me as he began to pull away. He deepened the kiss again and I fell into him. He lifted his head and smiled crookedly down at me. The footsteps receded into the night.
I raised my foot again, and this time brought it crashing down on Devyn’s. The boots the Celts wore were thankfully a soft enough leather that it yielded a small grunt.
“If I remain the Griffin, I will be your sworn protector.”
I narrowed my eyes at him.
“I don’t need a protector. I can stop entire troops of men in their tracks. I beat the hounds. Twice,” I reminded him.
“Technically, you beat them once, and city weapons beat them off the time before that.”
“What’s with you and the technicalities tonight?” I glared at him. “Is that what your kisses were? A trick ? Oh, I know, technically, you told me we could never be together. But you needed to lure the stupid city girl out of her tower and you gave me just enough so that I kept on hoping. But I was never going to get what I wanted. I could have stayed at home and married Marcus.”
“This is your home.”
I shook my head, my heart twisting.
“This is your home.”
I had no home. I didn’t belong here. Devyn didn’t want me. Marcus certainly didn’t want me. I still had a brother somewhere north of here. Would he care, or would I only be in the way? Maybe he liked being the last child of the Lady of the Lake, the single power in the north, and my resurrection would not be welcome news.
It had all been for nothing. Giving up my home, my parents, my friends, my city… my life. It had been for nothing. Less than nothing.
“It hasn’t been for nothing.” Devyn’s voice was soft as he appeared in front of me, his chest a blur. Had I spoken out loud? I blinked and pushed him away as hard as I could.
“It’s fine. I don’t need you. I don’t need anyone.” I had always been alone, acting the part of the perfect daughter, the good student, the sweet bride-to-be. Pretending to be. Until he came along. That had been real. I left my entire life behind because it had been real.
“I hate you.”
His eyes met mine before he swung away. He lifted a palm to his forehead, pressing against it and screwing his eyes shut.
Then he was in front of me once more, his arms around me, whisperi
ng to me, the bond between us completely open. His emotions crashed into mine: heartbreak and hope, denial and determination, joy and defeat… It was a swirl that eddied me around, crashing through me, until I couldn’t tell which were his and which were mine. I was dizzy with it. I couldn’t do this anymore.
I pushed back, rejecting everything. I wanted no more of this.
“Stop, stop, Cass.” I was a swirling mass of sharp pieces, but his warmth surrounded me, melding all the little shards back together. His lips kissed away the wetness on my cheeks as he lifted my boneless body and carried me over to the chair by the fire. I felt raw and wanted to push him away.
He knelt before me, his eyes anguished at the sorry sight I presented.
“You are my home.”
“What?”
“You are my home.”
I didn’t even know what that meant, and I was too tired to care. I got to my feet, my legs taking a moment to feel solid beneath me.
He caught my hand, his fingers crushing mine.
“Please, let me explain,” he said. “I’ll explain.”
I looked down at him. What would be different this time? I was tired of this dance. So tired.
He looked at where his hand held mine so tightly that whiteness appeared around his grip. He loosened his hand and I pulled mine away.
“Okay.” I flopped back down in the chair.
“What?”
“I said, okay.”
I waited while he gathered his thoughts, struggling to explain to me why he kept pushing me away. I was pretty sure I knew why but until he said it, I couldn’t argue against his imbecilic reasoning.
“I know you came with me because of this thing between us,” he began, his eyes downcast, not meeting mine. Not a good sign. “I should never have kissed you, especially after that night, when I realised you really are her. I know I said I would try and fight for us once we got here… I had no right. Out here we are simply too… You must understand my position. I am an outcast, an oathbreaker. Besides which, the lady and the Griffin can’t be together. Not like that.”
“Stop.” I couldn’t listen to this. I placed my hands on either side of his head and forced him to look at me. His -brown eyes reflected the pulse of sadness that I could feel reverberating through him. His cheeks were still hollow from the poison that had racked him, his powerful frame thinner than I had ever seen it. Almost like the frame of the insipid boy who had waited in the background of my life. Waiting for a sign that I was who he hoped, that I was the woman he was born to protect.
“No, Cass. That I found you and brought you home is beyond my wildest dreams. To see you reunited with your family is all I have ever…” He paused to control the emotion leaking into his voice. “I can ask for no more than this.”
“Ask who? The gods,? Fate? Who is it you can’t ask more of? Ask me. I am the owner of my fate. I decide who I will be with. Who I love. Not the council, not the gods. Me. And I say that I want you.”
“They will never allow it.”
“Who is they?” I demanded. I had had enough of they and them, whoever they were.
“Society. Your brother.”
My brother. I had family here, a family who would want a say in my future. But it wasn’t my family who came and found me. It was Devyn.
“My family gave up on me,” I said. “You never did.”
“That doesn’t matter.”
“Of course it does. Is that not why you are outcast? Because you broke your oath in leaving my brother in order to come and find me?”
“You don’t understand.”
I could feel the wall building inside him, the one he constructed around himself and used to keep me distant.
“I do understand. You are the Griffin, a legacy from your father.”
“One he betrayed,” he said, his face forming in resolute lines.
“No, I don’t think so. My mother bound him to a promise. A promise to protect you at all costs. She caused him to betray his role as Griffin. He didn’t choose you over me. She did.”
He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again as the foundations of his world were rocked beneath him.
“That’s… Why would she do that?” he asked. The secret his father had kept all these years, the reason he had abandoned us, the single act Devyn had blamed him for – which everyone had blamed him for – blew up in his face. The taint upon their name was not the result of his father’s failure to protect my mother. The lady herself had manipulated the events that had led to her death and my capture.
“Why?” he repeated.
“I don’t know.” I had no good answer.
“It wasn’t his fault,” he said quietly.
“Just as it wasn’t your fault that I was taken. You were a child; it was a miracle that you found me. And now you can tell everyone and restore your family honour.”
His face tightened.
“I refused to listen to him.”
“What?”
“When we met at the castle, he wanted to tell me something but I refused to let him. What could he possibly have said that would redeem him?” His lips thinned. “Why didn’t he tell anyone?”
“Perhaps he felt it was his duty to keep it secret, to hide whatever it was that motivated the lady. His final act of loyalty.”
“He asked me if I still believed the baby had lived.”
I looked up. I hadn’t seen Rhodri before we left. Perhaps…
“Did you tell him?”
His lids dropped as he shook his head, his dark curls glinting in the firelight. His slightly longer hair made him look more like the Celt he was and less like the Roman citizen he had pretended to be for so many years.
“I was so angry. I should have told him but I’ve been angry with him for so long. I’ve blamed him for so long. I looked at him and saw everything I would be if anything ever happened to you. All I could think was that there was nothing on earth that would prevent me from keeping you safe. I will never be like him, I will never live in a world that doesn’t contain you.”
He was so fierce, so resolute, that chills washed over me. I forced out a laugh, dismissing the idea that he would ever be faced with such a choice.
“My mother thought it was important for you to stay alive, so let’s not be crazy here.”
His eyes locked with mine.
“I would give my life for yours,” he vowed. “Every time.”
“I’m not asking for your life. I’m only asking that you keep your promise,” I said, reminding him of the discussion at hand.
“Your brother will not allow it. The Griffin and the lady can never—”
“Damn my brother. And damn you too. I decide who I love, and I choose you. All right, idiot?” I demanded. I’d had enough, enough of doing things that others wanted. My mother had allowed me to be taken by the council who had manipulated me my whole life, and the brother I had never even met was trying to keep me from Devyn.
I poured every bit of determination, will and love that I could down that bond. It was a white light that washed away the darkness of his shame and powerlessness as a child, the pain and blame my family and society had dumped on his young shoulders. The reflection of that shadow lifted from him, and his face lit up, softening as he finally met my eyes fully. My determination and love reflected in eyes so dark I could barely tell his iris from his cornea. His shoulders squared, as though he was physically readying to take on all who attempted to get in our way. His lips descended on mine, and he kissed me so thoroughly that I could feel its heat spreading down through my body, melting and tingling its way down to my toes.
He stood, lifting me with him, his arms filled with the strength of his renewed will.
“All right,” he answered me, tumbling me into the bed that was just a few steps away, before crawling up my length until he hovered over me, his arms caging me in a cocoon of him. I inhaled the warm scent of him, that fresh smell that was all him, that reminded me of open skies and mountain ranges.
I beamed up at him.
“My idiot.”
He wouldn’t back away again, I could feel it in my bones. This time, everything was out in the open. I understood why he had resisted but those walls had been torn down and they would not go back up, I vowed.
“Cass.”
“Mmm?”
“We can’t… Marcus.”
“What about Marcus?” I rolled him over so I could explore him with my hands and lips.
“The handfast.”
I frowned. Was he really asking me to respect the—? “No. Remember, unlike me, he is protected by the charm; nothing will leak out of this room. Now, can we stop speaking of—”
He stopped my words with his lips. Nicely done. That was the last sensible thought I had for a while, as those warm lips traced a path down my neck and along my once again bare collarbone as I arched up into him. The sensitive skin tingled in the wake of his path down, down, down…
My eyes opened to the breathtaking sight of a healthy sleeping Devyn. I pressed my lips softly to his before slowly levering myself off the bed.
“I’ll need those.” He caught me twining the ties of his soft knee boots around my calves.
“I didn’t want to wake you. You need your rest.”
I bounced back over to the bed and, after a much more thorough morning kiss, I floated out of the room.
The first light of day was only just beginning to creep across the sky. Unable to resist, I made my way outside to take in the light breaking over the wide-open water. There was a brisk wind coming in over the bay, creeping underneath my tightly wrapped cloak, but with my feet snug inside the multiple layers of socks with which I had padded Devyn’s boots, I savoured the sensation of the fresh wind on my face. No wind in Londinium was ever this clean, this pure. This wind was untouched, having crossed miles and miles of empty sea before hitting my skin – which had been made even more tender by Devyn’s stubble – on the parapet overlooking the bay.
The sky this morning was a spectacle that reflected my joy, great swathes of crimson and burnt pinky orange lighting up the sky as the sun lifted off the horizon.
Curse of the Celts Page 27
