Bono checked he washed in the basin, and then they sat on the floor between their cots.
"So, how was it? Think you can do it?" Bono asked.
"I don't know." Carino winced. "I wish I could be in the woman's place with you doing those things to me..."
Bono's eyes widened in shock. "What? No, you got it all wrong! You're the man!"
Carino shrugged. "I know, but I still think the woman gets the best treatment," he grumbled.
Bono shook his head, incredulous. "You're so inexperienced... you'll change your mind tonight."
Carino sighed. "If you say so..."
***
If the man wore a mask for the Rite before depriving fourteen-year-old women of their virginity, it wasn't the same for men. The boy could see the face of the woman who taught him to be a man, and it was usually a much older woman who took care of his sexual education.
Vilma herself took care of Carino, but he found it humiliating and almost painful. If he thought how hard Bono made him with a simple smile, he wondered why he should be forced to deal with women instead.
He went back to his room and lay on his cot feeling very disappointed. If this was his new life, he was screwed. He hated it.
He stared at the darkness, listening to Bono's breath. He wished he could nestle against his roommate and fall asleep in his arms. He sighed.
"Are you all right?" Bono whispered, startling him. So he was awake!
"Yes." But Carino felt like crying. He didn't dare express his feelings, not after Bono's reaction to his comments on how he wished to be the woman.
Bono's cot creaked and Bono's warmth enveloped him. He burst into sobs against Bono's chest, holding him as tight as he could.
"Hush," Bono repeated, stroking his back. "It's all right, Carino, hush."
Carino found himself hard against Bono's body. He calmed down to try to look at Bono's face in the darkness.
"B-bono, why don't we r-run away?" he stammered, sniffling.
Bono immediately let him go and went back to his cot. Carino shivered in the sudden cold – an inner cold, more than external.
"Are you out of your mind?" Bono's voice snapped. "Where could we go?"
"I don't know, anywhere," Carino answered, desperate.
"We can't move around the country! And we don't speak any foreign language!"
"I-I do..." Carino sniffled. "The Tattooed Ambassador was very fond of me and she taught me her mother tongue, saying I could run away with her when I grew up!"
"And that's probably why your mother sent you here instead of keeping you at the palace," Bono retorted. "Didn't you enjoy Vilma's caresses? She's good..."
"I hated it!" Carino whined. "All of it! I want to be with you!"
"You're crazy, Carino. Now get some sleep. I'm sure everything will look different in the morning."
No it won't, Carino thought, sniffling and stroking his hard-on to release.
***
Bono was baffled by Carino. He saw him as a younger brother badly in need of guidance. Carino was sweet and cuddly – with him. Carino had adoring stares – for him. The boy got along fine with the other young men of the house, but women... it was plain obvious he didn't like them.
The Queen's son was a rebellious lover. Often Vilma or Bono gave him drugs to help him perform. Sometimes he needed to be forced. Sometimes – when the mistress wasn't around – he could be coaxed.
"If you kiss me when I'm done, I'll do it," he said every time they were alone.
Bono didn't understand him at all. He had brushed lips with Carino, but could feel the boy wanted more, much more. And he wasn't ready for that.
Years went by, and Carino turned from a scrawny teen into a handsome young man who rarely smiled. His dark-blond hair tumbled around a permanent frown – unless he was alone with Bono, and then he turned dreamy.
Bono didn't understand why Carino needed to be drunk or drugged to perform. He didn't understand the Queen's son's desire to run away with him. He often thought Carino had two faces, one for him and one for everybody else. One sweet, the other mean and rebellious.
"Why are you so different with me?" he asked after ten long years of observing the double behavior of his roommate. "You could be the most wanted Public Man of Maadre, you have the Queen's blood, why do you refuse to do your duty?"
Carino stared at him with his sky-blue eyes. His pointed chin rose in challenge as he frowned.
"Because I love you, Bono. And you can't blame it on youth or inexperience. I'm twenty-three now, and I know what I want. I want you. I want to run away with you and live happily ever after. But my love is unrequited, so I'll have to be content with living under the same roof and sharing this spartan room with you."
Bono realized he was holding his breath. Carino averted his eyes and turned his back on him, so he felt free to exhale. He'd never heard such passionate words. No woman had ever told him she wanted to spend her life with him.
But Carino's plan was impossible. They were men of the Queendom of Maadre. They'd never be free.
***
Vilma took Carino to the palace on the eve of the Fall Festival. So Carino saw his mother again after ten years, but his smile vanished in front of her frown.
The Queen received him in a small office and Vilma waited outside. Carino knew his mistress's grievances anyway – he refused to do his duty, hadn't learned to dance and was more a hindrance than a perk for the Public House.
Shawanna rose from her desk, sauntered to her son and slapped him.
"Mother!" he protested, holding his stinging cheek.
"You shame me!" She spat. "Vilma tells me in ten years you still haven't learned your place! I should have thrown you in a Boys' House with the others when you were a child!"
Carino clenched his teeth and glared at her.
"Do you really think that being my son makes you special?" she continued. "It doesn't – but your seed is special! It's Amazonia's seed! And Vilma tells me you're reluctant to share it!"
"May I speak?" he asked bluntly.
She waved her permission as she went back to sit down.
"I don't think I'm made to be a Public Man," he said.
"You can't dance either," the Queen retorted. "Would you rather be a slave? A servant? A Gladiator?"
"No, I don't want to die fighting in the Arena, but I'd be happier as a house servant. There are plenty at the palace, can't you take me back?" he pleaded.
Shawanna took in a deep breath to control her anger.
"Did you listen to me? Did you hear what I said? Your brothers are happily breeding in other Public Houses or in here, why can't you do your duty like them?"
"Because I don't want to!" he exploded. "I don't like sex with women!"
Shawanna's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"
"I mean I'm not made for this job! Take me out of the Public House, Mother, please! I'm not a breeding stud!" He didn't dare telling her he was madly in love with Bono and longed to be in his arms. He'd end up on the altar for the Fall Sacrifice if he admitted to loving a man.
"Carino, you're twenty-three now. Stop behaving like a spoiled child. Honor your blood and breed for the glory of the Goddess," Shawanna said, determined.
Carino pursed his lower lip and gave up.
Vilma took him back, looking satisfied. She probably thought the Queen's scolding would have an effect on him.
You wish! he thought, going back to his room to brood. Bono wasn't in, probably busy with some customer. Carino slumped on his cot and stared at the wooden ceiling, drifting off in thoughts.
For ten years he'd worked at the Public House. For ten years he'd endured sex, sometimes with the help of drugs or wine, sometimes in the hope of a reward from his gorgeous roommate.
In ten years his love for Bono had grown. It wasn't just lust, but a deep desire to be intimate with Bono. If only his roommate stopped staring at him with that puzzled expression...
Carino hadn't managed to steal more than a few kisses from Bono,
so he had explored his attraction for men with Moretto, who had noticed the way he looked at Bono and suggested a few very forbidden games.
In fact Carino did better in orgies, where other men were present, than when single women visited him. Moretto's caresses made him long for Bono's touch even more, though. They'd been secretly lovers when Carino was fifteen to seventeen, then Moretto had been sold off, leaving Carino alone with his own hand and his unrequited love.
After the interview with his mother, Carino wished once more to run away from Maadre and leave the accursed Queendom. But he must try talking Bono into following him one last time. The Fall Festival might provide enough chaos in town to slip away unnoticed, especially if he could talk to the Tattooed Ambassador. He'd seen her at the palace while going to his mother's office and he could probably manage to approach her during the festivities, albeit hidden by the Modesty Cloth.
Bono stepped into the room, startling him back to reality. In Carino's eyes, he was still the most handsome young man alive and he smiled briefly before reclining on his cot.
"I heard you went to the palace today."
"Yes, my mother felt the need to scold me," Carino grumbled.
"Oh, I thought you'd be performing for some lady-in-waiting," Bono said, puzzled.
"That's your job," Carino snapped. "I'm her son, and I'm shaming her."
"Well, we already discussed how you're so different in this room..."
Carino sat and stared at him. "Will you run away with me?"
"No!" Bono replied, shocked. "I thought you'd given up that crazy idea of yours!"
"Never," he said through clenched teeth. "Fine, I'll leave on my own."
"Don't be silly, Carino, they'll catch you and..."
"And then what? Sacrifice me on the Goddess's altar? Good! I'm sick of living like this anyway!"
He jumped to his feet and stormed out of the room. He went to the bath chamber to wash away some anger and frustration at Bono's continuous rejections.
During dinner he never looked Bono's way. When they retired to sleep, he kept his eyes on his feet and rolled over to give his roommate his back. His heart was breaking at the thought of leaving Bono behind, but enough was enough.
***
Talina was no longer ambassador of the Tattoo Country, but since she'd made many friends during her ten-years mandate, she kept visiting Maadre every year, either in spring or around the Fall Festival.
She wasn't very fond of the human sacrifices of the latter, so she avoided going to the Temple of the Goddess in the fall. She waited for her friends browsing the shops on the main square during the ceremony – and then a man stopped her.
Startled, she stared at the Modesty Cloth wondering whose face was hidden behind the lacy opening. He knew her name, so she wondered where she'd met him.
"I'm Carino," he said. "The Queen's son."
That Carino? She hadn't seen him in years!
"Where have you been, Carino?" she asked, pleasantly surprised. She remembered the lovely blond child who was now taller than her.
He pointed at the Public House on the square.
"My mother sent me there ten years ago." He sounded gloomy. "You said I could visit you when I grew up, but how am I going to leave the country? I don't think Vilma is allowed to sell me off, since I carry the Queen's seed."
"Mm..." Talina pondered. The Queen's son a Public Man? Made sense for those crazy Amazons. "You can go out, though, can't you?"
Obviously, or he wouldn't be in the street talking to her. But he wouldn't be able to go far, unless she managed to smuggle him away from the city.
"I'm leaving in two days," she said. "Can you come to the fluvial port? I have a closed wagon, wait in the alley behind the Golden Goddess Inn and I'll take you away."
"Thank you, Talina!" He sounded relieved. "I'll find and excuse to go out – maybe I'll bring another man with me."
She grinned. "I look forward to seeing how you grew up. Besides becoming taller than me, I mean."
He chuckled. "I'll repay you, Talina. You can have the Queen's seed if you take me away!"
As if my daughter could ever have a claim on the Amazons' throne, Talina thought, amused. She watched him walk back to the Public House as lust stirred inside her. She was only slightly younger than the Queen, but Carino was not her son. She looked forward to discover what a man he'd become.
***
Carino packed his spare tunic and sandals and frowned at the Modesty Cloth. Hopefully he'd soon be rid of it forever. He glanced at Bono, still asleep. He had already asked his roommate the night before – his last attempt at convincing Bono to run away with him – but Bono refused to leave his cozy position of beloved and honored Public Man.
Carino sighed and tiptoed out of the room. It was still early, and only the house servants were up, cleaning and preparing the house for the daily business.
"I'm going to wash my clothes," Carino said to the butler who shot a questioning look at him. He put on the Modesty Cloth and exited the house, heading for the river.
The streets were still quiet and the shop owners were still opening their venues. He'd never been that far from the palace and the main square, but found the Golden Goddess Inn and the back alley about one hour later. He sat on the ground with his back against the wall and waited, observing alley cats chasing mice and birds cooing or flying around.
Then he heard the sound of hooves and wheels, and a wagon pulled by two mules entered the alley. He rose, recognizing Talina on the front seat. She barely slowed the mules' pace.
"There's a back door, get in and hide behind my luggage," she said. "Just be quiet until I come and get you. They usually don't search me, but you never know."
He obeyed, rushing to the little door, giving a quick glance inside before closing it and plunging into darkness. Groping around, he found a space between two sacks and curled up, using his Modesty Cloth like a blanket that would make him look like another sack if someone glanced inside. The gentle sway of the wagon rocked him back to sleep.
***
The sudden lack of movement startled him awake and he heard the door squeak open.
"Carino?" Talina called.
He pulled down the Modesty Cloth, but it was still dark. Talina held an oil lamp and he saw a bit of starry sky behind her.
"We're in open country and the mules need rest," she said, grabbing a pack of provisions. "Come, help me start a fire."
He obeyed, eagerly stretching his cramped legs and arms. She had already gathered some wood in a circle of stones where someone else had already cooked – probably a Huntress.
Carino helped fix the dinner, his stomach rumbling with hunger. The light of the fire flickered on the naked, tattooed arms of Talina – snakes and flowers coiling together in a design that had fascinated him as a child. He had recognized her from her tattoos, not her face.
They ate in silence, then Talina sighed and stretched her arms.
"What do you think, is it safe to sleep out here?" she asked.
Carino glanced at the starry sky, a little worried. "What if there are wild beasts? Wouldn't it be safer inside the wagon?"
She chuckled. "Of course, darling."
They extinguished the fire and gathered their things. Talina brought the oil lamp inside so they could see enough to make room on the wagons' floor. Not much room, but enough to sleep in each other's arms.
She closed the door and sat in front of him, putting the oil lamp between them.
"You've become a fine young man, Carino," she said at last. "Much as I expected. Take your clothes off and show me what they taught you."
She put the oil lamp over a chest where it wouldn't burn them and took off her own sleeveless tunic. She had a mighty dragon painted on her back and more designs on her belly. Carino was mesmerized by her tattoos. He made love to them, more than the woman, but Talina was satisfied.
They fell asleep with their limbs still entwined.
***
"What do you mean he ran a
way?" Vilma asked coldly.
Bono kept his eyes on his feet and cleared his throat.
"He... suggested we run away together, my lady. More than once. I always refused to follow him, and it has kept him here for ten years. But I'm afraid the Queen's call has pushed him to follow up with his plan even without me."
He glanced at Vilma who had narrowed her eyes. Carino had vanished the day before and nobody had seen him since.
"Any idea of who could have helped him?" Vilma asked bluntly.
"He mentioned a Tattooed ambassador who was very fond of him as a child," Bono answered.
"Thank you, Bono. You shall be rewarded." Vilma shooed him away and Bono went back to his room, a little worried for Carino. The crazy boy was really in trouble now.
***
After the first night in the wild, Talina started stopping in villages that provided stables for the mules. The forest turned into a luxuriant jungle and often the unpaved road was in disrepair, although it was close enough to the river to find a passage, sometimes on the shore itself.
But instead of the few days the barges took to go downriver and reach the coast, going by land took a fortnight until the wagon reached Danae, the coastal town at the estuary of Maadre's river.
When the town was in sight, Talina told Carino to go back inside and hide. Danae was a border town with customs and Talina would have to smuggle Carino onboard at night or when the customs officers weren't watching.
Carino went back to crouch among her luggage, musing about what tattoo he'd have as soon as he reached Talina's country. His thoughts went back to Bono when he heard voices outside and realized they were probably in town by now. Bono had refused to follow him, leaving him with a longing that drew a deep sigh out of him. Hopefully he'd find a nice, Tattooed man – Talina had mentioned she had a son in his teens – and forget his first unrequited love.
The wagon stopped and Carino sat still He tried to listen to what was going on outside, but the wooden walls didn't allow him to understand the words. Just to be safe, he hid under the cloth like he'd done in Maadre.
And then the door banged open and the captain of the Queen's Guard, Erika, ordered, "Search in here!" Carino froze, holding his breath, but soon someone pulled off the Cloth and two guards pointed their lances at him.
Male Lovers of Silvery Earth Volume 2 Page 19
