by Katy Kaylee
A red hot blush stole across my cheeks but I could the smile that curved my lips or the feeling of peace that filled me as I sat down to work. Today was going to be a good day. I just knew it.
10
Jake
“This is bullshit. Complete and utter bullshit.” I muttered for the hundredth time. I tried to focus on the work in front of me, but the words kept blurring together. It was important. I knew it was. It was serious. Another attempt by Howard fucking Calhoun to steal my father’s land. But I still could seem to make myself focus on it.
Because all I could manage to think about was Zoe. She filled my mind, my thoughts. I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her all damn day. She was haunting me. A ghost that I couldn’t grab on to and I couldn’t banish. Just torturing me there at the edge of my thoughts constantly as I tried to work.
Last night had been amazing. Or this morning. Or whenever, damn it. I’d lost track of time completely with her. But it didn’t matter. Either way, I knew it had been incredible, more than anything I had ever experience before, more than I ever would have expected.
I had been out of control, and she had been right there with me every step of the way, just as wild, just as demanding. Giving herself completely to me and I had lost myself completely in her. I thought she had loved every minute of it. Her cries and screams of pleasure had sure told me so.
So then, what the hell had she meant by ‘thank you’?
I kept replaying the morning over and over in my head, distracting me from the work in front of me and putting me in a bad mood all morning. I’d already snapped at Owen who’d stalked away with a sullen expression on his face and I’d yelled at Westley for something that wasn’t even a little bit the man’s fault.
I swept my hand across my face, through my hair, pushing it back but it just fell back over my forehead as soon as I let it go.
What the hell was wrong with me? Mooning over a woman like this, just because she said Thank you? What the hell was I expecting, some big dramatic exclamation of love?
The thought filled me with horror, and at the same time made my breath catch at the picture of Zoe, staring down at me with those big, forest green eyes of hers.
I didn’t want a relationship, damn it. I wasn’t looking for anything serious. It was just a little fun. That was all it was. Just a little fun between two single, consenting adults.
I forced my gaze back to the paper spread out on the desk in front of me. There had a been a large manila envelope waiting for me. No name on the front. No idea where it had come from, but I knew was soon as I saw it sitting there that it wasn’t going to be anything good.
A part of me didn’t even want to open the damned thing, just toss it on the manure pile and forget about it, and now, sitting there, looking down at the contents, I wish I had. Because it was bullshit.
There was a typed letter, like on one of those old timey typewriters, along with a photograph and a yellowed scrap of newspaper that had been cut out and preserved in a plastic sheet.
I picked up the letter first.
Mr. Gallagher,
This letter is to inform you of the previous ownership rights belonging to the Calhoun family for the property listed.
I glanced down at the lot number. I wasn’t positive but I felt pretty sure in assuming it would correspond to the forty acres currently belonging to me and my family and the ranch.
As you can see in the article enclosed, the land in question belongs rightfully to Howard Calhoun the third. The proof is enclosed. I will await your reply no later than Friday afternoon and then legal action will be taken.
Sincerely,
Robert Farley, Attorney
I snorted to myself, partly in humor and partly in all out disgust. Howard Calhoun the third. What a bunch of bullshit.
I wasn’t at all worried about any legal action that Calhoun’s two bit lawyer might try to pull. The deed to the property was in my name, and there was proof of transfer of will held by my own lawyer in town.
I’d already spoken to him about this mess a year and a half ago when it all started and I knew that there was no way Calhoun could get his hands on my property, should of something unhanded and illegal, which I had no doubt he could stoop to if he felt he had to.
What I didn’t understand was why? Why did the man want the property so badly? What reason could he possibly have, outside of outright spite for the Gallagher’s?
Out of pure curiosity, and not a little bit of confusion, I picked up the photograph. It was an old black and white photo and I instantly recognized the rolling landscape, the mountain peak rising just beyond. It was the southern part of the ranch. Daisy’s grew there every year and my mother had loved going down to the little creek that wound through the valley.
There were three men and a woman, all un-smiling, and all instantly recognizable as Calhoun’s. I would recognize those scowls anywhere.
The woman was holding a small box, a wooden chest of some sort and the others held a collection of shovels and spades.
Finally, I picked up the enclosed article. It was dated June 3rd, 1932. There wasn’t much there to be honest. Just a picture of a man breaking ground with a pick ax, and a headline that read Howard Calhoun breaks ground in Utah. Must have been referring to Howard Calhoun, the first. Even though the pudgy old man in the photograph showed a remarkable resemblance to the Howard Calhoun I was unfortunate enough to know.
I knew my own grandfather had purchased the land in the forties after the previous owners lost everything after the depression. They hadn’t been able to pay for the land and my grandfather bought it and started the Ranch. My father had taken over in the seventies and had run the ranch ever since. Well, since a year and a half ago, when I took over.
I shook my head at the whole thing.
“Bullshit.” I muttered under my breath, shoving the letter, the photo, and the article all back in the envelope and throwing it in the nearest drawer. I just didn’t want to look at it anymore. The whole thing was utterly ridiculous.
Almost as ridiculous as how hard it was for me keep Zoe out of my thoughts. Just like that she was there again, haunting me. It was that damned thank you. Who says thank you? What did that even mean?
Was it like, thank you so much that was great can’t wait to do to it again. Or more of a thanks, that was nice, maybe I’ll see you around some time but this is my polite way of blowing you off.
Because the thing was, I already wanted a repeat performance. I wasn’t anywhere near done with her. Not after what had happened between us. Once wasn’t enough. It wasn’t nearly enough. I was already starving for more now that I had a taste of her and I wouldn’t be satisfied until I could feast on her.
The image that conjured in my mind at the thought had me shifting uncomfortably in my chair. I had to wait a moment, desperately trying to get my wayward body under control before I stood and strode out of the office, intent on finding Zoe and asking her just what exactly that ‘thank you’ had meant. Otherwise it was just going to keep driving me crazy and I wouldn’t be able to get any work done at all.
I made it halfway towards the barn when I saw Westley and slowed. I remembered yelling at him earlier and even though he couldn’t hear the man could still sure hell read lips, and body language. I’d had no call to do that. I held up one hand, formed a fist and made a circle over my chest.
I’m sorry.
Westley looked at me in shocked surprise and I signed it again. I had felt guilty enough after Zoe had told me that she could talk to the ranch manager with sign language, when I hadn’t even bothered to try and learn. Hell, I didn’t even know he could sign, though I should have realized, or at least asked.
It was just one of the things that Zoe had taught me in the short time that she’d been there. Sometimes I just got so wrapped up in saving the ranch that I forgot to pay attention to the people who cared for it just as much as I did.
Westley signed back but I shook my head with a rueful grin, not
knowing what it meant. I had only just started to learn but Westly waved away my apology, smiling at me and gave me a pat on the back.
And just like that, everything was back to the way it was supposed to be. Easy and uncomplicated.
“Do you know where Zoe is?” I asked, making the sign for the letter Z and this time Westley’s smile turned sly before he nodded towards the stables. I shook my head. The man was far too observant for his own good.
I walked into the stable and it took me a long moment for my eyes to adjust from the bright sunlight outside to the cool dimness within.
It took me even longer to find Zoe. She was standing in the shadows, her back turned to me as she slowly stroked Josie’s nose and whispered sweet nothings into the horse’s ear.
That damned jealousy came back, shooting through me even though I knew it was ridiculous to be jealous of a horse, especially after this morning.
It touched something deep inside me to see her in there, checking on the sick horse. I knew Josie was on the mend. I’d already been in to check her myself and give her the medication from Beth. But still, it was…sweet.
I could hear Zoe’s voice, low and soothing as she told the old nag how beautiful she was, how pretty she was and I nearly snorted but something in me didn’t want to break the moment.
A small smile spread across my face at the idea of sneaking up behind her and wrapping my arms around her waist, tugging her against my body, and if I was lucky maybe re-starting what we had earlier before Zoe had practically run from the bed, and from me.
After saying thank you.
My feet were moving before I’d even made the decision and I reached for her in the darkness. Her voice had covered up the soft sound of my footsteps on the straw and dirt underfoot.
My hands grasped one hip and then stars exploded behind my right eye. A scream shot through the dark and the horses whinnied in protest at the sharp, high-pitched sound.
“What the hell? Zoe, It’s me. It’s Jake!” I had one hand out and the other covering the eye she had just sucker punched.
“Again I ask, what the hell?”
“You…Jake! You…” She was breathing fast, too fast. Her eyes were enormous, her pupils dilated and I shriveled at the overpowering terror I saw there, cowering in the forest green depths like a wounded animal. She couldn’t get any words out and concern filled me. I was pretty sure she was about to have a panic attack.
“Why the hell did you hit me?”
“Why the hell did you sneak up on me? You scared the shit out of me!” Her voice was sharp and brittle as if she was moments away from shattering but I didn’t understand. I was more than confused by her reaction? And more than that, why would she be scared of me? No, it was even more than that. It was terror. Terror and dread. Not to mention the mean right hook.
“Look, I’m sorry. I never meant to scare you. I certainly never meant to get punched in the face.” I tried to laugh it off but she was still staring at me with those fear glazed eyes and I wasn’t even sure she heard me.
“What’s going on, Zoe?” I asked quietly and she shook her head at my question.
“It…It was nothing. I just…I saw a, uh, a rat earlier in the barn and it just, um, made me a little jumpy. That’s all.”
“Zoe, I don’t think–.”
“It was just a rat, Jake! Don’t make this a bigger deal than it was.”
Her sharp words cut me off abruptly and I was taken aback at the sudden anger in her voice. My own temper rose to match.
“I was the one who got punched,” I reminded her and she just looked away, petting the horse as if I wasn’t there at all.
“Well, now you won’t be sneaking up on people again. Consider it a lesson learned.”
“Painful lesson.” I muttered angrily, still feeling the sting in my cheek although I think the sting in my pride was word.
She whispered something else and I thought her say ‘they all are’ but I couldn’t be sure. Either way, I could tell by her stiff posture and the fact that she wouldn’t even look at me that the conversation was done.
I shook my head, my temper flaring again. This hadn’t gone at all the way I had hoped. And what was worse, it was obvious she was lying. It was obvious something else was going on. I wanted to let it go, to laugh it off, pretend it hadn’t happened. But I had learned long ago not to trust anyone, especially a beautiful woman. Beautiful women always lied.
I turned and walked out of the barn without another word. It was also obvious that she wanted to be left alone. As I walked out, I told myself it was better this way. I didn’t want anything serious anyway. It was definitely better this way. A clean break.
But then why couldn’t I get the thought of her expression out of my heat? The fear on her face had been real, the terror in her eyes directed at me from the inside out. She didn’t have anything to be scared of at the ranch, certainly not from me.
Why? The question played in my thoughts on repeat. Why had she reacted like that? Why had she lied? It didn’t make sense to me but it was obvious she was hiding something, keeping secrets, and I’d already been burned that way once.
But still, why?
11
Jake
I was brooding. I knew I was brooding and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. I had the envelope on the desk and the letter, photo, and article from the Calhoun’s was on top. I had thought to uncover something, anything I had missed, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Zoe.
I swirled the glass of whiskey that that I’d poured an hour ago and still hadn’t finished. I wasn’t much of a drinker, but I’d need something to take the edge off. It wasn’t working.
The office was empty. It was nearly sundown, long after Zoe would have eaten and gone inside for the night. She’d never come back to the office. I knew because I’d sat there for the rest of the day, waiting. Hoping she would walk through the door.
A hundred times I thought about going after her, telling her how sorry I was, to try and talk to her and figure out what was really going on.
But every time I was about to get up memories of Valerie would flood me. Memories of my ex and how she lied to me. How she kept secrets. And how she’d broken my heart. It still hurt to remember. My pride more than my emotions, I knew, but still the pain was there.
I had loved her with my whole heart, had given her everything I had to give and it still had never been enough for her. She’d ripped my heart to shreds and then stomped on it for good measure.
It had left a sore spot. Especially when it came to women. I hadn’t let myself get close to anyone like that in a long time. In three years. Since everything with Valerie happened. And then a year and a half later my father had passed away and I’ve been so busy with the farm ever since that I hadn’t had time for women.
And then Zoe had just been dropped into the middle of my life and turned everything upside down. Made me start hoping again. Made me start thinking that maybe, just maybe…
I shook off that train of thought. It was stupid. And foolish. And worse than that, I knew she didn’t want anything serious. She had made that more than apparent today in the barn.
But still, there was something else there, something else that she was hiding, that she’d been hiding from the first. She never spoke about her past or her family. She never even talked about the places she’d lived but she had let slip enough to let me know that she’d travelled all over the world.
She’d mention something casually in conversation without realizing, about eating some fancy meal in Italy or Germany, or going to a party in London or New York. About her favorite park in California. How she’d always loved the mountains.
Little things that gave away more than she realized, but still never let me see the whole picture. Who was she, really? Did I even know? I’d just hired her thinking that she was a friend of Beth’s who needed some help.
I let my head drop into my hands as my thoughts ran in circled around my mind. Because I knew those were
all just excuses. Reasons for me to move on. Reasons for me to forget her. But I did know who she was.
She was sweet, and she had a razor sharp mind and could be organized as hell and forgetful at the same time. She was strong, and fierce. She was compassionate. She’d sat with me all night nursing Josie back to help. Who else would have done that?
She was beautiful, inside and out. And she was scared, running from something bad. She’d grown more at ease over the last months but sometimes I still saw that shadow in her eyes and it made me want to chase them all away. It made me want to make her laugh because when she laughed those eyes of hers shined like emeralds.
And I still wanted her, damn it. Even knowing that she was lying to me. Even knowing she was keeping secrets. I still wanted her, more than I had any right to. More than I ever thought I would want someone again.
“Jake!”
I heard my name and for a moment thought that perhaps it was Zoe coming in to talk, and there was that stupid niggling spark of hope but a second later Beth popped her head around the door frame.
“Hey, there you are! I thought you’d be in already. Working late I see.” Beth said in an annoyingly cheerful voice as she barged into the office, “I came by to check on Josie. She’s looking much better.” She held up her hand and I could see the red mark on the back in the shape of Josie’s teeth. I knew that shape well. “Back to her cranky old lady self.”
“Good to know.” I muttered and she walked closer, leaning against the edge of the desk.
“Whoa! Who gave you the black eye? Get too close to Josie, didn’t you?” Beth joked and I shook my head.
“It’s from Zoe. There was a…misunderstanding.”
“What kind of misunderstanding?” Beth demanded with a glare, crossing her arms as she stared at me in accusation.
“Not the kind you’re thinking about, Jesus! I snuck up on her and scared her and she decked me before she realized it was me and not some boogeyman.”
