by Anna Durand
Then I abandon myself to the pleasure of Alex's mouth on me, his hands holding my erse off the bed and tilting my hips, giving him full access to my body. I gasp and fist my hands in the sheets.
He watches me, his mouth hidden in my folds but his eyes locked onto mine.
"I'm still here," Jamie shouts. "Disconnect the bloody call, Cat. I donnae want to hear you having sex."
"Sorry," I say, but it comes out on another gasp.
This time, I grab the phone and make sure I end the call. Then I toss the mobile, not caring where it lands.
And I come. A tidal wave of pleasure crashes through me, and my body bows inward. I clutch at Alex's head, crying out, my eyes squeezed shut until the climax subsides. Breathing hard, I slump against the wall.
He sits up, licking his lips. "Mm, I've missed the taste of you."
I can't speak. Or move. Or get my brain to function.
Alex slides his tongue over his lips again, groaning like he's sampled the best food on earth. He pats my leg and jumps off the bed.
"Now we're even," he says, and he walks out of the room, shutting the door.
Even? The man is off his head.
If he thinks sex will make us even, he's in for a nasty surprise. We won't be on a level playing field until he explains everything to me. I have questions. He will answer them.
No matter what I have to do to make that happen.
Chapter Twenty-One
Alex
The next morning, I wake up to the sound of Cat picking the lock on my bedroom door. She swings it open, picks up a tray she'd set on the floor, and carries it to my bed. Since I haven't bothered to get out of bed yet, she sets the tray over my lap with its legs on either side of my hips. A half-dome lid covers the large plate, but I see an oversize mug of steaming coffee, plus silverware.
"Good morning," she says, smiling. "I've made you breakfast. You can eat it in bed."
I push up into a sitting position. "Aren't you eating?"
"Aye." She lifts the lid off the plate. "We're sharing."
"What if I don't want to share? You might infect me with your Scottish germs."
"Since when are you a germophobe?"
"I'm not. But I prefer to eat my own food without any help."
She laughs and pinches my cheek. "You are so adorable when you're full of shit. I remember how you used to love sharing a meal with me. I would feed you, and you would feed me, and you said it was your favorite way of eating."
"Did I? Maybe I was lying. Or I'd been taken over by an alien parasite."
She climbs over me to get onto the bed, snuggling up beside me. "I'll start."
Catriona picks up a fork, slides scrambles eggs onto it, and stabs a hunk of sausage with the tines. She holds the loaded fork to my lips. "Open up."
What's the point in arguing? I open my mouth and take the huge bite of food she's prepared for me. It tastes delicious, but I'd rather she wasn't sitting next to me wearing nothing but that dressing gown she'd worn last night. When she bends her knee, the gown falls away from her leg.
She reaches for the coffee mug.
"I can do that myself," I say, snatching up the mug before she can grab it. "I'm not an invalid."
"No, but you are grumpy this morning." She slides a hand along my thigh, leaning in so her lips are a breath away from mine. "We can have a poke if you like. All you have to do is answer another question for me."
"Yes, I remember how that went last night. One question turned into a multitude of follow-on harassment."
"Not a multitude, and not harassment." She laughs again, and her breaths flutter on my skin. "Stop being so uptight about this. I won't tell anyone the things you tell me. It's just between us."
"I should trust you?" I glance at her sideways. "You picked the lock on my bedroom door."
"That's right. Why did you bother locking it? You knew I could pick it."
"Maybe I still can't accept that you're a naughty little lock-picking Scot."
"Or maybe you hoped I'd break in. Maybe you like it." She glides her hand up my bare chest and dances her fingers up my throat. "It's exciting, isn't it? Not knowing what I might do next."
I can't deny the idea does appeal to me. Her larcenous side intrigues me much more than I want to admit to her. I know she's trying to use sex as leverage to pry all my secrets out of me, but I can't let her succeed.
So I turn my face toward her, moving in like I intend to kiss her. She parts her lips, and I glimpse her tongue.
Then I grab a piece of sausage and shove it into her mouth. "There. I fed you. Now you can scamper back to your room."
Cat chews the sausage with such deliberate slowness, transforming the simple act of chewing into an erotic display, that I know she means to torture me this morning. She swallows the food and licks her lips. "That was delicious, but you taste better."
And she licks her lips again.
No, I will not fall for her tricks today.
I gulp down the coffee—too quickly—and start coughing and spluttering.
She slaps my back several times. "Take it easy, Alex. You're not meant to inhale coffee."
"Thank you for the helpful tip."
Cat leans back against the wall. "What should we do today? I was thinking a walk might be nice."
"I don't do the outdoors."
"But you live in the forest."
"Only as a means of keeping other people away."
She clucks her tongue. "No more lies, Alex. Tell me the real reason you live in the forest, all alone, in a huge, depressing mansion."
"What's depressing about it?"
"The walls. Dark wood and crimson." She shakes her head. "A Dhia, it's no wonder you're so crabby when you live in a house Edgar Allan Poe would've loved to write about."
I grunt. It's not the most eloquent response, but I have no bloody clue what to say to her. Or how to make her go away. She picks locks, which means I'll have to flee to a place farther away than my study to escape her.
Having her here unsettles me. But it also…makes me feel more alive than I have in ages.
"Let's stay in," I say, "and shag all day. That's better exercise than walking."
She sighs, rolling her eyes at me. "Oh Alex, what am I going to do with you? You're so obstinate."
"Yes, I'm an infuriating bastard. Better go home to Scotland."
"No," she says with a laugh. "That won't work either. I'm staying. Now, you can either go outside with me willingly, or I can get the handcuffs and make sure you can't get away."
"Those are my only choices?"
"Yes."
I shove a forkful of eggs and sausage into my mouth and devour it, then I slump backward and stare up at the ceiling. "Have it your way. I will go outside with you."
She claps and cheers.
"For heaven's sake, Cat, it's not like I promised to bare my soul to you. It's a walk, nothing more."
"It's a start."
After breakfast, we dress—in our separate rooms—and head downstairs. I try to distract her from this silly walk idea by suggesting we ought to clean up the dishes first. She politely commands me to abandon the dirty dishes in the sink, saying, "We can take care of that later." When I realize she's digging her heels in like a sodding mule, determined to drag me outdoors, I surrender.
Once we've exited the house through the back door, Catriona clasps my hand and guides me into the woods.
I have never walked in the woods. Not these woods, for certain. I'm ninety-nine percent positive I have never trekked through any sort of forest before. Why should I want to? It's not interesting at all. Trees. Grass. Birds making irritating noises. I'd lived in cities until I moved to Montana and built a house in the middle of the type of geography I'd never wanted to experience.
Cat tows me down a narrow path which she informs me is a deer trail.
"Why should I want to follow deer?" I ask. "Seeing animals in the wild appeals to m
e even less than consuming haggis, which Logan tried to convince me to eat."
She pulls us to a halt inside a small clearing. "What do you have against the forest? It's nature. And it's a fair sight more pleasant than that gloomy house you live in."
Will she never give up insulting my home? "It's not gloomy. It's atmospheric."
"No, Alex, it's a beautifully decorated tomb." She leans against a tree, waving at our surroundings. "Stop being so uptight. Relax and enjoy the wildflowers, the bird songs, the scent of pine and grass, and the sunshine." She tips her head to the side. "You do remember what sunshine is, don't you?"
"Maybe I'm a vampire and sunlight will burn me to ashes."
She shakes her head. "I willnae give up, so ye might as well give in."
"I have. I'm here in the forest, aren't I?"
"You are, but you can do better." She wanders into a patch of wildflowers and lies down, sighing with contentment. "Join me, Alex. Unclench your erse and take a moment to enjoy nature."
I open my mouth to inform her I do not have my arse clenched but decide against it. She'll only make another silly comment about my gloomy house or my supposed uptight attitude.
Since I seem to have no choice, I lie down among the flowers with Catriona.
The sun warms my face, a not-unpleasant sensation. I close my eyes, letting myself feel the grass under me, tickling my arms and hands. I hadn't realized grass could feel so soft.
"Listen to the birds," Cat says. "And the breeze rustling the leaves in the trees."
"Are you trying to hypnotize me? I'm immune to that."
"It wouldn't kill you to loosen up."
She begins to hum, though I don't recognize the tune. Her voice is hushed and soothing. The breeze makes the leaves shiver, the sound almost like the sizzling of food on a grill. Which makes me hungry. But her voice lulls me into a trance-like state, and all my thoughts drift away on the wind.
I'm not hypnotized. I'm…relaxed. That's what she wanted me to do, I've done it, and I can go back into the house.
My muscles refuse to move.
"Alex," she murmurs, her voice still soothing and hushed, "why do you punish yourself?"
I make a noise but can't summon any words. Her voice, the feel of the grass, the scent of the flowers, it all keeps me drifting on that cloud of nothingness. I don't think I've ever been this at ease before. It feels strange and yet pleasant.
"Wake up," she says, her voice much closer now.
"Sorry, I can't. You must've drugged me."
"Maybe you're in the right mood after all."
"The right mood for what?"
She lays a hand on my chest. "Why do you punish yourself, Alex? Living in a huge, gloomy house. Not having friends, until Logan adopted you."
"I don't play well with others."
"Why?"
The scent of her surrounds me, something like vanilla and cinnamon and woman. God, she smells wonderful.
"Why?" she asks again. "Why don't you have friends?"
My breathing has become slower, my pulse too. I feel like I'm floating in space, but with the sun toasting my skin. Maybe that explains why I answer her question. "I never learned how to make friends. All my parents ever taught me was how to lie and how to protect myself."
"From what?"
My body feels like it's dissolved into a pool of warmth and comfort and peace, leaving me incapable of moving or speaking.
"What did you need to protect yourself from?" she asks. "And why did your parents want you to lie?"
"Had to. It's the lifestyle—" My eyelids spring open, and my heart thuds. I had almost told her. What in the world is wrong with me? Lying here in the grass with Catriona has actually mesmerized me. "Forget it. You don't want to know those answers, believe me. I wish I didn't know."
"Why are you so afraid to share your past with me?"
"I'm protecting you." From more than she can possibly imagine.
"Alex, please. Don't keep shutting me out. I can handle whatever it is you think you've done."
"No, you really can't." My phone chimes, letting me know I have a new text. "We're done here."
She slaps both hands down on my chest. "Not yet. I want to know one more thing. It has nothing to do with your secrets that you won't tell me."
"Go on."
"Do you remember the time we went swimming naked?"
What on earth is she doing now? "Of course I remember."
"I was embarrassed to take my clothes off, even though there was nobody else at the lake."
"Yes, I was there. I know what happened."
She lowers her body half onto mine, with our faces close together. "Close your eyes and remember when we were in the water."
"This is ridiculous."
"Please, Alex. As a favor to me."
I grumble but close my eyes, picturing that day—the sun, the wispy clouds scudding across the blue sky, the smile on Cat's face when she stripped off her clothes and jumped into the water. I'd already been in the water, naked, trying to talk her into joining me. When she did, she jumped in feet first and shrieked with joy. I can almost feel the water spraying up around me.
And I heard her laughter, bright and exuberant.
"Remember how you kissed me," she purrs into my ear.
Though I shouldn't want to, I can't stop my mind from conjuring an image of Cat in my arms, drenched and naked, water drizzling off her hair and onto me. I'd wrapped my arms around her body and kissed her like I'd drown without her breaths feeding me oxygen and her tongue twining with mine. She'd tasted like sunshine and woman and all the beautiful things I had never allowed myself to have until I met her. It had been more than a kiss. That moment changed everything.
"Remember what you said to me after," she whispers.
Memories and reality converge in my mind, and I repeat the words I'd spoken to her years earlier, in a different time and a different place, in a different lifetime.
"Never leave me, Cat."
"I won't, Alex. Not ever."
The bird songs and the rustling leaves rouse me from the memories. When I open my eyes, she's watching me with her lips curled into a sweet, almost loving smile.
"You tricked me," I say. "That's not a very nice thing to do."
"I have no choice. Trickery is the only way I can make you talk to me." She touches her lips to mine, only for a fraction of a second, then sits up. "I meant it. I won't leave you."
Never leave me, Cat. I'd said that out loud. Why? Not a clue.
"Do what you want. I obviously can't stop you." I get to my feet, wiping grass off my trousers. "But I have nothing more to say to you."
While I walk away from her, I dig my mobile out of my pocket and check the new text. It says, "You will pay - RH."
Reginald Hewitt. Of course. The blighter hasn't had his fill of harassing me yet.
Another good reason to push Cat away. I may need to kidnap the woman and drop her off at the airport to make sure she gets the idea that she can't stay here anymore. No, that won't work. She'll hike all the way from the airport to my home just to torture me more with her presence.
I intend to make a dramatic exit by stalking off down the trail, but I trip on a root. Cursing, I try again.
As I head down the narrow trail, Cat calls out to me, "Ye cannae outrun the past, Alex. It will catch up to you."
If only she knew how true that statement is.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Catriona
I follow Alex back to the house, but we split off once we're inside. He veers off to go into his office—to hide from me, I'm sure—and I let him. After the way he'd opened up to me a few minutes ago, I decide he needs a wee bit of time to himself to process what happened. The fact that I had to trick him into sharing something, anything, with me makes me uncomfortable. He left me no choice. Trickery is the only way I can crack his shell and peek inside.
Still, I need a wee break from him too.
So I grab a bottle of water from the kitchen and rush upstairs to my room. Once I'm there, the only thing I can do is think. About Alex. About what he'd accidentally let slip while we lay in the grass together. I never learned how to make friends, he said. All my parents ever taught me was how to lie and how to protect myself.
What sort of people had Alex's parents been? I can't imagine my mother or father teaching me to lie. If he had no friends, Alex must've been a very lonely boy. I can't imagine that either. Besides having friends, I had my brothers and sisters, and cousins too. Evan had always been the most reserved of my cousins, the one who kept to himself most of the time, but Iain changed that. He and his wife, Rae, refused to let Evan go on being a recluse, inviting him to dinner and eventually to a shinty match at Iain and Rae's home near Loch Fairbairn. Their efforts paid off. Today, Evan has a wonderful wife and daughter, and they love spending time with the rest of the family too.
Then there's Logan. He had been standoffish until recently, until Evan decided to become Logan's friend whether Logan liked it or not. Now Logan and Serena attend every family event.
Can I ever convince Alex to stop hiding? The rest of the family will like him if he gives them a chance to, I know it. But how do I help him get there? Every crack in his armor gives me hope I can do it, but I don't know how.
MacTaggarts never give up, but we also know when to ask for help.
I grab my mobile phone, scrolling through my list of contacts until I find the one I need. Only one MacTaggart has firsthand experience with taming a stubborn man who keeps secrets. I tap the screen to dial her number.
"Cat, sweetie, what's up?" Emery says, sounding as cheerful as ever.
As the leader of the American Wives Club, and the wife of my stubbornest brother, Emery is the only one who might be able to help me.
"I need advice," I tell her. "It's about Alex."
"Oh, you mean the British Bastard." She doesn't sound disgusted or angry. No, Emery is always upbeat, and she gives everyone the benefit of the doubt. "Not that I'm judging. You know I never do that."
"Which is why I rang you. Rory won't like what I'm about to tell you, but I know you'll break it to him gently."
"The best way to delivery bad news to my honey is while we're naked."
