I nodded, smiling. I was about to tell her that they weren't very practical when I realized she had been joking.
"I think we should look at SUVs. I don't want anything that makes me feel like I am driving a bus, but perhaps a vehicle big enough to, say, transport a body, rugged enough to dump it in the woods, but cute enough that no one would ever suspect me." She winked, finally giving me a small smile.
I couldn't help but grin. She was way too cute when she was trying to be tough. "Hate to break it to you, sweetie, but if you were going to kill him, you probably wouldn't have moved and we wouldn't be having this conversation right now. I don't want you to be scared, but I like that you are thinking defensively."
"I'm trying." She smiled and let out a breath.
"I want you to be strong and assertive, like you were with me that night in the ER."
"Yeah, about that." She hesitated, tapping her thumb on the steering wheel. "I'm sorry."
I shook my head before she could say anything else. "No worries. The way you failed to succumb to my charms makes a lot more sense now. No wonder you had a natural hatred toward me."
"I didn't hate you. I just...didn't trust you." Katy shrugged and looked at me apologetically.
"It's all right. Don't feel bad. I'm tough, even though you secretly crushed my heart. I just hope you can trust me now." I winked back.
"I think I can."
As I looked at her, I had a feeling that I would never be able to stay mad at her. I shook my head. It was taking everything I had to keep my hands to myself. Every time I looked over at those eyes and those pouty, full lips, all I wanted to do was take her in my arms, kiss her, and make everything okay. Sadly, though, it wasn't as easy as that. I would have been happy just to hold her hand even. The second she had finished telling me everything yesterday, I’d wanted to hold her and never let her go. She was special, and she deserved so much more than the life she had gotten and was continuing to get.
As she drove and I sat there watching her, I already knew I wanted to be the one to see to it that she got everything that she deserved and more. She deserved to have every shot that she wanted to take and have all the support in doing those things. That was what good guys did for their dream girls. Instead, she had been stuck with this dick, who didn't deserve anything, especially her. Unfortunately, I knew where I stood; I was now the hired help, nothing more, and I wondered if she didn't do that to keep us apart. I looked over at her. She was beautiful as she concentrated on the road in front of her.
"What?" she asked as she stopped at another light.
"Nothing." I knew from the way she looked at me in that second that my chances with her had been ruined before I had even met her. She had been hurt by one of my own kind, and the quicker I let go of any hope and dream I had of having her, the better off I would be.
I could see the sign for CarMax approaching on the left, and I pointed it out to her to give her time to get in the right lane. I could see the worry etched on her face as she pulled into the parking lot and into the first empty parking spot, shutting the engine off.
"You have nothing to worry about. I will back you up in there, but this is your thing okay? You are the one in charge; you are the one who says what goes. You don't like something, you say so." I could see her starting to doubt herself already. This guy had really done a number on her. "If you need help, ask me anything you want, tell me what it is you need, but I know you can do this," I encouraged.
She took a deep breath, her hands holding tight to the steering wheel. I could see she was trying to work up the nerve to make this happen.
"What are you thinking?" I asked quietly.
"I just never used to question my abilities. Now I question them in everything I do, except work," she muttered. "Not before Jonas anyways. If I wanted something, I would go out and get it. I used to think I could do anything I put my mind to. Now, I automatically think everything I do is going to fail. It's a challenge."
I reached out and placed my hand on her thigh. Her eyes followed to where my hand sat and back up to my eyes, and I quickly pulled my hand away. "You still can, Katy. You can do anything you put your mind to. Just look at yourself."
"Look at what? I'm a neurotic mess who can't sleep unless I barricade my door with a dresser, for God’s sake, and even then I sometimes can't."
"I don't think so. You moved across the country, you found a new place to live, you applied and were hired at a new job." I grinned, trying hard to build her up. "Neurotic messes don't do those things."
"So what does all that prove? That I am coward that couldn't tell my boyfriend to get out."
"It proves that you’re smart enough to see the difference between doing something stupid and dangerous. You're amazing. You took control of a situation you no longer wanted to be in and got out. You know, most women would have stayed. Most women wouldn't have even recognized the trouble they were in. Give yourself a little bit of credit. Now hold your head up and let's go buy you a new vehicle." I squeezed her shoulder and looked into her eyes.
She smiled up at me. Like, truly smiled. It was like no one had ever spoken to her like that before. That smile made my cheeks turn crimson and my ears burn.
"Thank you, Derrick," she whispered, placing her hand over mine. She surprised me by leaning over and kissing my cheek. "No matter what happens from now on, thank you." She grabbed her purse and hopped out of the car, shutting the door without another look back.
I sat there feeling bad because that sweet, soft kiss meant as a thank you to a good friend went straight to my cock, and heat began coursing through my body. I climbed out of the car, the cool air hitting my hot face, and walked over to see what Katy was looking at. I kept my eyes on the car, not her ass, as she bent to look inside one of the other vehicles. I'll admit, I was happy for the distraction because, no sooner had we started looking at the car, we were approached by one of the sales guys.
"Can I help you?" he asked.
I cleared my throat. "We are here looking for a vehicle for my friend," I answered, turning things over to Katy, while I backed off and stood on the sidelines.
Chapter 14
Katy
Two hours later, we were sitting in the office inside of CarMax. John, the sales guy, had gone to make copies of the paperwork. I sat there chewing my nails. I was still nervous, afraid I had made some sort of huge mistake. I fiddled with the few flyers that sat on John's desk, picking each one up and looking at it, when I felt Derrick's hand squeeze my shoulder. I knew he had been in the room standing behind me, leaning against the wall the entire time in case I needed him.
"Relax, you're doing great. I think you are going to be very happy with this vehicle," he whispered in my ear, his warm breath grazing my cheek. "To be honest, it was a steal." He squeezed both of my shoulders in his strong hands, releasing some of the tension I was holding. "The best part is that once you actually realize it’s all yours, and that it was purchased on your own, and picked by you, nothing can ever take the joy of this away from you."
He was right. We sat there in the quiet room, and I slowly relaxed back into the seat, his hands still resting on my shoulders, the warmth of him sinking into me as he continued gently massaging them. As I relaxed under his touch, I realized that Derrick really was the polar opposite of Jonas. Instead of taking things from me, he was pushing me forth into the world. The difference was that he stood beside me, giving me all the confidence and little pushes I needed to make the decisions I had faced today. He had even answered all of my questions, never once making me feel stupid for asking.
As soon as John flew back into the room, Derrick ripped his hands away from my shoulders, and I instantly felt the void. John set the papers in front of me and handed me a pen, and there I signed over my first car in exchange for a very nice black SUV.
I felt like I was on top of the world as I stepped out of CarMax with the keys. It wasn't much of a big deal to some, I know—people do this every day—but for me it was a huge d
eal. It was such a little thing, but I felt as if it had given me back some of my independence. I was beginning to prove to myself that perhaps I could take my life back. I had handed so many little pieces of myself over to Jonas on a silver platter, every time I did what he wanted, which had destroyed every last inch of me. It was going to take some time to get it back.
Before one of the lot guys took my old car away, we quickly took my belongings from my old car and transferred them to the new one. Once we were done and seated in the new car, Derrick placed his hand on mine.
"Do you have that picture of him again?" Derrick asked. "I want make sure I have his face committed to memory."
I studied his face and then reached down into my purse. I would have just sent him one through social media, but after I had learned all I had this afternoon, I had closed down my Facebook account completely, which was the only other place I had pictures of him. I pulled out my wallet, found the photo, and held it while Derrick took a picture of it.
"Great, thanks," he whispered.
I don't know why I was expecting a reaction from him, maybe some acknowledgment of what an asshole Jonas was, but he said nothing. He took the picture and shoved his phone back in his pocket.
We drove back to the motel in silence. I pulled into my parking spot and sat there as Derrick went to pull on the handle to open the door. I chewed my bottom lip, looking straight ahead. I had another question to ask Derrick, but for some reason, I was almost afraid to ask.
"What's on that mind of yours?" he asked, clearing his throat.
"How do you know something is on my mind?" I questioned.
"You get quiet and chew your bottom lip," he answered, smiling.
"When should we move?" I asked quietly.
He let out a breath. "Well, I just moved here a week ago, and you yesterday. I guess we could look into some new places in time. We should do a search first, though, and then we'll have to scope them out. Maybe I could do that while you're working at the hospital this week."
"Okay."
"No worries, we are only going to move if we have to." He frowned, taking in my worried gaze. "Obviously, you are off tonight?"
"I am. I work three days on, two off, alternating between days and nights. It’s a rotating schedule because I work ten-hour shifts." I shrugged. "It's not that bad. I'm getting used to it, but I hate the overnights. I never know who may come in through those doors on a night shift, and I always fear he may sneak into the hospital that way. You know, when it’s quiet and there is less security."
"I hear you. Well, I am paid up until the end of the week, so if we need to move, that should give me plenty of time to scope out a new place."
That answer satisfied me, and I climbed out of the car and went inside. Derrick followed me into my room and sat on the edge of the bed, while I sat down in the uncomfortable chair. I was still chewing my bottom lip, a look of worry surely seated on my face.
"What is it, Katy?" he asked, squatting down in front of me and resting his hands on my thighs. Something about his touch felt so comfortable and safe.
"What about tonight?" I bit my lower lip and waited. Ever since I had seen the handprint on the car window after my shift last night, I had been freaked out. I was constantly looking over my shoulder. I had pulled the dresser across the door and tried my hardest to sleep the night before, but with all the strange noises, I couldn't.
Derrick studied me for a moment. "Are you scared of being on your own?"
"A little. I have barely any food either. I haven't made the time to shop." I swallowed hard, biting my thumbnail.
"Did you want to stay with me in my room?"
I knew he was watching me for a reaction. I looked around my room. My bags were still sitting inside the door, packed tightly. I had only paid for one night, because I was unsure whether I was staying in the area or not.
"Katy?"
"I only paid for one night. I didn't know if I would end up staying or not," I whispered.
"All right, well, if you want to stay with me, that is fine. That way it will save you the money."
I slowly nodded and shyly smiled. As if we were thinking the same thing, he said, "There is only one bed, though." Just as the words passed his lips, a car door slammed outside. Derrick was up and over to the window in seconds, parting the curtains to look outside.
I nodded again. "I know I hated you the other day, but I didn't know you yet," I mumbled, shying my face away from him.
"It's fine. We don't have to sleep together. I will get them to drop a roll-a-way into my room. It's probably just a small fee, and that way you can have the king-sized bed all to yourself." Without waiting any longer, he grabbed my suitcases and moved them out of my room and over to his. I grabbed the other few things I had and moved them to his room as well, doing one final check to make sure I had everything before dropping the key off at the main office.
* * *
Derrick had gone to pick us up dinner, while I unpacked a few things from my bigger bags: my toiletries, my pajamas and clothes for tomorrow morning. Once I was finished, I went and sat down on the bed and turned the TV on, quickly finding an episode of Friends to watch. Jonas never let me watch TV, or at least never anything I wanted to watch, unless of course he wasn't home.
I had just gotten settled when the door swung open, causing me to jump up. Derrick stood there with two bags from the grocery store. He smiled and stepped inside and placed the two bags on the counter of the little kitchenette.
"All right, I just went over to the hot table. Roasted chicken and potatoes for you," he said, handing me a cardboard container, "and the same for me." He shut and locked the door, and then sat down and opened his container, taking a couple of bites. "Did you happen to remember to call for the roll-away while I was gone?"
I shook my head. "I'm sorry, I forgot," I mumbled, shying away from him. Truth was, I didn't really want him to sleep in a separate bed. After all, I was the one intruding on his space. If anything, it should be me. Besides, I just wanted a little human interaction. I had been alone for a while, and I desperately needed to feel someone next to me.
"Well, I should probably call then because, if not, they are apt not to have any. The parking lot was getting rather full when I came in." He got up and grabbed the phone receiver and began to dial.
I didn't wait. I placed my food on the bedside table and stood up, walking over behind him and placing my hand on his bicep. He turned and looked at my hand and then down into my eyes, the receiver slowly falling away from his ear until it was back on its cradle.
"I really need to be held. Do you think you could do that, just for tonight?" I could barely hear my own voice as the words fell from my lips, my heart pounding wildly in my chest.
Derrick stood there silent as he stared at me, no doubt trying to figure me out. Now I did sound like a neurotic mess. He opened his arms and wrapped them around me, pulling me against him. At first, I was scared as he closed his arms around me, and then a strange calmness settled over me. It was as if my body had exhaled, like a weight had been lifted off me, and for the first time in the past few months, I finally felt safe.
Chapter 15
Dagger
My heart rate accelerated as she wrapped her arms around me, her touch sending millions of shock waves through my body all at once. I stood in the middle of the room with my arms wrapped tightly around her, her cheek resting on my chest. She fit against me so perfectly—almost too perfectly, her hot little body pressed up against mine. The gentle puff of her breath as she relaxed into me dancing along my shirt, almost instantly I knew I was in trouble. Just hold her all night. Yeah, sure, I could do that, or I could totally screw everything up because I was much better at doing that.
I stood there quietly holding her, letting her rest against me. I couldn't believe how she was holding everything together. Most women would have crumbled. This just showed me how strong she really was, and that turned me on more than anything. I had no expectations about how t
his was going to work. She had been a pro at the dealership, not afraid to speak up when she needed or ask me questions when she felt she didn't know something. She was smart and strong the entire time. Now she was letting her guard down, and that was okay with me too; whatever she needed. She rested her head on my shoulder, her face buried into the crook of my neck, and inhaled deeply.
"Did you want to go for a drive?" I whispered. She nodded against my shoulder. Thank God she had said yes. I didn't know how much longer I could stand there holding her without trying to kiss her.
We drove around the city, talking and laughing, and an hour later, we were parked up by a private lake. I loved this place and always came here for some downtime, which I knew she needed badly. We sat in quiet, just looking out over the water, and she slowly slid her hand into mine. A light rain started to fall, and soon the windshield was covered, so I started up the engine.
"We should probably head back," I said, swallowing hard and rubbing her small hand that still sat in mine.
"Oh, all right, I suppose." She pulled her seatbelt on.
"I think I will drive by your old place on the way home. I want to see if you recognize any of the vehicles parked there." If the bastard was stalking her, he might not know that she had fled the place already.
"Okay." The tone of her voice told me that she was scared to do this. I turned on the radio and placed my hand on the centre of the seat, palm up, waiting for her to take it again. She did so without hesitation.
"It's okay, you're with me. I won't let anything happen to you," I said, rubbing my thumb over the back of her hand.
I pulled into the parking lot of her old building. "Okay, let me know if you recognize any of the cars okay?" I said, driving slowly through. She looked out the window and nodded. "So what makes you think he is following you?"
Dagger Page 8
