by Naomi Martin
He looks away and something like genuine remorse crosses his face. Part of me wants to believe that Evan feels bad about what he did. About what Blaze is trying to make me do. But then the image of him smiling and flashing a thumbs up to the camera pops into my mind and any sympathy I felt for him evaporates instantly.
“Look, I’m sorry for what happened. I really didn’t mean for this to happen.”
Jenna’s voice rings through my head – the rumors about all the other girls they’ve done this to – and my heart hardens even more.
“What in the fuck did you think was going to happen, Evan?” I hiss. “And let’s not pretend this is the first time you’ve done this. I know – about the others.”
“Harlow –”
“Don’t bullshit me, Evan,” I spit. “I know what you guys do. I know your game and believe me when I say you and Blaze and Alec are all disgusting pieces of shit.”
A look of pain crosses his face and he looks away from me and I can see he’s struggling with all of this. The sudden flare of conscience though, comes too little, too late.
“Listen, Blaze is looking for you,” he says. “He’s not going to take no for an answer. You might as well just do what he asks.”
“Fuck that,” I snap. “I’m not going to do it, Evan. So you might as well tell him I said to fuck off.”
“Harlow, you need to think this –”
“I’m done thinking,” I yell. “I’d rather have the school think I’m a slut than run drugs for you assholes.”
“Harlow, Blaze –”
“I don’t give a fuck about Blaze.”
He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. The way he looks at me makes me think he’s worried about me, about the fallout of me saying no to Blaze. But again, too little, too late.
“Listen, I have to meet Blaze at the old rock quarry tonight,” he says. “Can I call you after? I really think we should talk.”
“No,” I tell him. “I have nothing to say to you.”
I start the scooter and speed away before Evan can answer. I have no desire to hear what he has to say since all he’s going to say is to do what Blaze wants. And that’s not going to happen. Jenna was right – at the end of the day, he’s one of them. He’ll always be one of them. And at the end of the day, Evan is going to do what’s in his best interest – and that of Blaze and Alec.
As I speed along the road, heading home though, a thought occurs to me. An idea. And it’s something that can provide me the leverage Jenna said I needed. The leverage that would give me the mutually assured destruction that will get me out of this mess.
Chapter Eight
The night is overcast and cool. The air within the forest is damp and my breath comes out in thick plumes of steam. I pick my way along the path carefully, trying to avoid tripping on the undergrowth. It’s not so easy in the dark but the last thing I want or need is to twist an ankle – or worse. What I’m doing is dangerous enough on its own.
For about the thousandth time, I silently curse myself for what I’m doing. It’s dangerous and reckless. It’s stupid and I know I shouldn’t be doing this. The one thought that keeps bouncing around my head is that although I know Blaze, Evan, and Alec are into trafficking drugs, I don’t know who their source is. I don’t know who supplies them.
But I have to know. I have to know who is supplying them and I need to get proof of it. Proof will provide me with the leverage I need over Blaze, Evan, and Alec. Proof of them trafficking drugs will provide the mutually assured destruction I need to keep that video of me and Evan from ever coming out.
But I know how potentially dangerous this is and it makes my stomach churn just thinking about it. I know from bitter and painful experience with my mom how dangerous suppliers can be. Guys like Blaze and Evan are wannabe gangsters. They play the tough guys and enjoy the lifestyle the money they make provides for them. They like the image and walk around thinking they’re all hard. But compared to the cartels, they’re nothing. Less than nothing.
Right now though, all that matters is getting the leverage I need. It’s stupid and short-sighted, but I can’t see past my need to possess the means to ensure mutually assured destruction.
I curse silently as I trip over an exposed root and nearly fall flat on my face. Despite the chill in the air, I feel beads of sweat rolling down my back. I make it to the treeline that marks the boundary at the edge of the forest. I duck down behind the bushes, careful to conceal myself in the thick pools of shadow.
To my right, the forest falls away into the rock darkened depths of the rock quarry. Blaze, Evan, Alec, and two of their other friends I don’t know are standing at the edge of the quarry, silhouetted by the glow of the headlights of the SUV parked in the lot. They’re throwing stones into the dark lake of water at the bottom of the cliff, their howls of laughter and voices cutting through the darkness.
I open the video camera on my phone and adjust it to make sure I have them all in-frame and zoomed in enough that I can see their faces clearly. Judging by their casual demeanor, it seems like they’re waiting for somebody – and I’m betting that somebody is their supplier. It’s exactly what I need. Getting Blaze, Evan, and Alec taking a shipment of drugs from their supplier is exactly the sort of leverage I need.
I hunker down behind a bush at the edge of the treeline, watching and waiting. The longer I wait, the more I begin to wonder if I’m wrong. That maybe, it’s not a meeting with their connect. What if it’s some sort of sexual escapade. Maybe they’re dragging some girls out here to film them having sex so they could coerce them into being drug mules like they did to me.
But the more I think about it, the more that doesn’t make sense to me either. They’d want to do that in a more public setting – like a house party. In a place that’s isolated like this, they’d likely be caught trying to film themselves having sex. So the only thing that stands to reason is that they’re out here to meet their connect.
That has to be it. Nothing else makes sense. Which means, I’m going to get the leverage I need.
I’m still crouched down in the bushes hear them grumbling about how long they’re having to wait when I hear the sound of motorcycles in the distance. The deep throated rumble of the engines is growing closer and my heart lurches.
“Oh God, no,” I whisper. “Anybody but them.”
“Finally,” I hear Blaze say.
A moment later, half a dozen motorcycles rumble into the parking lot, the roar of their engines reverberating through the air around me. The gravel crunches underneath the wheels of the motorcycles as they pull to a stop beside Blaze’s SUV. I watch them climbing off and get a look at the patch on the back of their kuttes and feel my heart fall into my stomach – Lords of Chaos.
The Lords of Chaos are the biggest motorcycle club in Northern California with charters in a dozen different cities along the West Coast. They’re tied in with the cartels and control the drug and gun running trade from Fresno to Washington. And they were the ones who were the primary suppliers for my mom.
She got in deep with them and that’s why she was prostituting herself – they forced her to do it to pay off her drug debt to them. My stepfather was one of them and he let it happen. He’s the one who turned her out.
The Lords of Chaos are absolutely ruthless and it’s more than obvious that Blaze, Evan, and Alec have no idea who they’re in business with. If they knew what the Lords of Chaos were really all about and the things they’ve done – things I’ve seen with my own two eyes.
As I stare at the bikers walking toward Blaze, Evan, and Alec, memories flash through my mind. It was because of them my mom did what she did. My stepdad came home stinking drunk late one night. He started to beat on my mom – it was worse than usual. I jumped in to try and stop it. That’s when my mom got the gun she shot him with.
I remember the blood all over the floor. Remember watching it spreading out from under his body. I remember the smell of gunpowder in
the air. And then I remember the crazed light in my mom’s eyes right before she shot me. The pain was unlike anything I’ve ever felt before and as I lay there, feeling my blood pouring out of me, I remember watching her put the gun to her head and pull the trigger.
As the thoughts fill my mind, I feel that old familiar cold emptiness that’s had a tight grip on me since that night. That cold emptiness that I’ve been working hard to dispel.
“Get a grip on yourself,” I whisper.
Focusing my camera on the meeting in front of me, I try to get control of myself. I need to focus and keep my wits about me. I make sure they’re all in frame and I’m capturing everything on video.
The bikers form a half-circle behind a large, dark-haired man. He’s grizzled and hard looking with dark, greasy hair and a long, bushy beard. He looks like somebody straight out of central casting for bikers. Blaze, Evan, and their friends all shrink back from the bikers.
“You were short last week,” the bearded biker says.
“I know, we’ll make it up this week,” Blaze says. “We weren’t able to sell everything we had.”
“Why not?”
“We didn’t have enough runners,” Blaze explains. “We’ve got a few more now so we’ll be fine. We’ll make up the shortfall.”
“You better,” the big biker growls. “Boss don’t like excuses.”
“We will,” Blaze says, doing his best to summon up some of his usual cockiness. “Go ahead and load us up.”
“Something else we need to discuss before we do that,” the biker says, his voice gruff.
“Yeah? What’s that?” Blaze tries to posture like a tough guy.
The biker steps forward, his face darkening with anger. He stares down at Blaze with a smoldering anger on his face.
“Your boy over there has a big fuckin’ mouth,” the biker growls.
“What are you talking about?” Blaze asks.
One of the other bikers grabs hold of a boy named Patton. He squirms in the bigger man’s grasp but can’t break free. Blaze steps forward, a look of outrage on his face. But the bearded biker in front of him pulls out a gun and holds it down at his side. It’s enough to freeze Blaze in his tracks.
My heart is thundering in my chest. It’s pounding so hard, I’m half-convinced they’ll be able to hear it.
“What the fuck is the problem?” Blaze roars.
“Your boy’s been running around telling people he’s in business with us,” the bearded man says. “Actin’ like he’s some big baller who’s got some actual juice.”
Blaze looks from the bearded man to his friend and back again. “Patton, what is he talking about?”
“I – I dunno Blaze,” Patton whines. “I have no idea what he’s talking about.”
“Let me refresh your memory,” the big biker says. “You and a couple of your shithead buddies were at a strip club the other night. Got in a scuffle there. Told the guys our MC had your back. Ring a bell now?”
As if the air has gone out of him, Patton slumps in the biker’s grasp. “It wasn’t like that,” he says. “That’s not how it went.”
“So my boys are lyin’? That what you’re tellin’ me?” the bearded man asks.
Blaze looks over at Patton. “Is that true, Patton?”
He lets out a low moan. There’s a long pause in the conversation and tension crackles in the air like electricity. My stomach churns and my pulse is through the roof.
“I didn’t mean it,” Patton groans. “It’ll never happen again.”
“Damn right it won’t,” the bearded man says. “You were told to never utter a word about us. To not even say our name.”
The world around me – hell, time itself – seems to slow to a crawl as I watch the bearded man step over to Patton. He raises the gun and the sound is like a crack of thunder as he pulls the trigger. I watch as Patton’s head snaps to the side, a spray of red matter blowing out the other side of his head. Blaze and the others are screaming as Patton’s lifeless body slumps to the ground.
The bearded biker turns, gun raised and pointed right at Blaze’s face and they all freeze as two other bikers step forward and throw Patton’s body over the cliff and down into the dark lake at the bottom. Tears are streaming down my face as I hear the muted splash of the dead boy hitting the water.
I clap my hand over my mouth but not before I let out a cry. I watch as all heads turn my way and I feel like my heart might stop in my chest right then and there.
“Who the fuck is out there?” Blaze and the big biker call out nearly in unison.
The next thing I know, gunshots are cracking, the bullets slamming into trees all around me. I run back the way I came, moving as fast as I’m able to. I hear voices shouting and feet crashing through the undergrowth behind me. I hear a few gunshots but I’m far enough ahead that the shots aren’t even close to me.
My fear-fueled adrenaline carries me back to the road quickly – far ahead of my pursuers. I jump on my scooter and fire it up, grinding every ounce of speed I can get out of it and vanish into the night.
Chapter Nine
After a sleepless night hiding in Daisy’s house, I took a circuitous route to school. I park at the far end of the lot and wend my way through the crowds in the halls, taking no notice of the frosty glares thrown in my direction. I don’t know who knows what about what went down at the quarry last night and frankly, I don’t care. I’m here for one reason and one reason alone – to find Jenna.
I come around the corner and find her laughing with a couple of the girls from the drama club. I grab her by the arm, drawing a surprised squeal from her as I drag her into the bathroom. There are a couple of girls standing in front of the mirrors, touching up their makeup. I grab them both and push them toward the door.
“Get out,” I scream. “Get out.”
With a look of fear on their faces, they do as I say, bolting out the door, leaving me alone with Jenna. She turns to me, a look of wide-eyed concern on her face.
“Oh my God, are you okay?” she asks when she finally sees me.
My hair is a mess, I’m still in the clothes I wore last night, and I’m covered in grime. I don’t care though. The last thing I was going to do was hop into a shower where I’d be alone and completely vulnerable.
“No, I’m not okay,” I gasp. “I’m really far from okay.”
“Talk to me,” she says. “What happened? Did Evan or Blaze –”
My mind is a harried jumble of thoughts and I’m not able to put them in any sort of sense or order. I pace the bathroom, walking back and forth with my arms crossed over my chest and tears flowing down my face. And when I open my mouth to speak, my words come out as jumbled as they are in my head.
“Quarry… Drugs… Lords of Chaos,” I stammer. “Shot Patton... Evan... Blaze…”
Jenna grabs me and stops me from moving. She looks into my eyes and then shocks me. I hear the crack of her hand meeting my cheek and feel my head rock to the side before I even register that she’d just slapped me.
“Jenna – what the fuck?”
“Calm down,” she says, her voice harder than stone. “Slow down and take a breath.”
I stare at her for a moment before I do as she says. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly – and then repeat it several more times until the fog in my head slowly starts to lift. It takes a few minutes but my brain starts to function again. I’m still trembling and my heart is still racing like I just ran a marathon, but I have my wits about me again. For the most part.
“Good,” Jenna says. “Now, explain to me what happened.”
I lick my lips and then tell her everything that happened last night. I tell her about getting to the quarry and watching them throw Patton’s body over the cliff. As I speak, Jenna’s eyes grow wider as the color drains from her face. She grows even paler when I show her the video I shot on my phone last night.
And when I’m finished with my show and tell, she lo
oks almost as terrified as I did when we first stepped into the bathroom. She puts her hands on her head and starts to pace, taking deep breaths and letting them out slowly. A couple of minutes later, she stops and turns to me, seemingly more composed.
“Give me your phone,” she says. “You can’t have that on you.”
“Why not?”
“Blaze, Evan, and Alec are here today,” she says. “They’ve been asking if anybody’s seen you. They’re looking for you, Harlow.”
“Why? They don’t know it was me out there last night.”
“They do,” she replies. “Why in the hell would they be looking for you if they didn’t?”
“Because Blaze needs me to run his drugs for him. Now, more than ever,” I tell her. “He’s going to threaten me with the sex video.”
She arches an eyebrow at me. “Are you sure you want to gamble with your life like that?” she asks. “If for some reason they do know it was you in the woods last night, they’ll kill you –”
“Unless I don’t have my phone and can threaten them right back,” I finish her thought for her. “Mutually assured destruction.”
“Mutually assured destruction,” she nods. “But that’s just to keep you safe until you get off campus, Harlow. We have got to go to the police with this.”
I shake my head. “I can’t go to the cops,” I say. “For all I know, they’re on the Lords of Chaos’ payroll. They were back where I lived before.”
“I don’t think that’s the case here. The Lords of Chaos don’t have a presence here,” she says. “Other than recruiting schoolkids to sell their drugs for them. Since they don’t have a clubhouse here, it’s doubtful they have cops on their payroll.”
What Jenna’s saying makes sense – except for one thing. “If I don’t have that video, I don’t have leverage,” I tell her. “What’s to stop them from killing me?”
“Because they’ll all be in prison, Harlow,” she says. “Blaze, Evan – the bikers on the video – they’ll all be locked up where they can’t touch you.”
