by Deanna Chase
“It’s hard to say. Probably.” Lin tightened his hold on his daughter and said, “I was angry for a very long time, Faith. I don’t want that for you.”
“It’s too late, Dad. I didn’t know just how much anger I had until she contacted me. It was as if I’d suppressed all of my feelings when it came to her. She was gone, and as far as we all knew, we’d never see her. But then suddenly there she was, wanting… I don’t even know what she wants, but I suspect it’s our forgiveness or understanding, and I just don’t think I have it in me to get there.” She used her thumb to twist the silver ring she wore on her right hand. It had waves carved in the silver, representing her ability to manipulate water. “I lost it the other day. I had a full-blown melt down, and ever since then, I’ve just been empty. I don’t have anything to give her.”
“Sure you do, honey. We always have compassion.”
“I can’t forgive her, Dad. How does any decent person do what she did?” The image of her mom driving away for the last time was right there in Faith’s memory. She’d dreamed about it as a kid. In every dream, her mother would turn around and come back to them, the dream ending with her mom engulfing all four of them in a hug and promising to never leave them again. During the hour she’d been asleep the night before, she’d dreamed that same dream again. Only instead of waking up missing her mom, she’d woken up with an icy indifference. She no longer wanted her mother to turn that car around. It was better for everyone if she just stayed away.
“No one says you have to forgive her, Faith,” her father said gently. “But if you can find your way to forgiveness, it might help you more than it will her.”
“Do you forgive her?” Faith asked.
“I’m getting there, I think.” He picked his cup up again and took a sip. “Your mother, well, now that I’ve talked to her, I’ve come to the conclusion that she didn’t want to leave us but felt she had to.”
“Had to? Why? Is she some sort of monster who turns into a psycho killer after midnight? Because otherwise, that sounds like a copout.” Faith knew she was being unreasonable, that she should listen to what her father had to say before lashing out, but she couldn’t help it. She’d spent twenty years pretending her mother’s abandonment hadn’t affected her, but it clearly had, and now she was having trouble processing.
“Not exactly,” he said frowning. “But in her mind, it was close enough.”
Faith sat up and looked her father in the eye. “Does Mom have a mental illness or something?”
He shook his head. “No, baby girl. She’s an addict. Potions. She used to make energy potions, and at some point she turned to banned substances to make them stronger and became addicted. The day before she disappeared, she left you in Eureka and couldn’t remember where. Do you remember that?”
“What?” Faith frowned, searching her memory. Nothing surfaced. “No.”
“She took you to the beach while your sisters were at a birthday party for one of the older kids at school. When she got home, you weren’t with her.”
Faith blinked. “Where was I?”
He chuckled. “You’d hooked up with a little boy at the beach and built a sand castle. It was well over an hour before his family realized your mom was gone. So they took you out for ice cream and called the sheriff’s office, who got in touch with me without much trouble. We picked you up a few hours later. You were fine, but I was furious and your mom, well, she was devastated.”
She vaguely remembered going for ice cream after a day at the beach, but the memory was blurry and obviously not a traumatic one for her. “Was that the first time she did something like that?”
“You mean losing one of our children?” His brows drew together, and he got a pained expression on his face. “That was a first. But she had been acting strange, sort of manic depressive, and I’d been asking her to go see someone, but she flatly refused. Now I know it was the potions. She left because she was addicted and didn’t want to hurt you or your sisters.”
Faith let that piece of news sink in. She had no idea how she was supposed to feel knowing her mother left them for her drug addiction. On the one hand, she was grateful her mother cared enough that she didn’t want them subjected to her drugged mental state. On the other, she hadn’t loved them enough to try to get help. She’d loved the potions more. “I don’t know what to do with that, Dad.”
“You don’t have to do anything with it, Faith. Just know whatever her faults and issues, she did and still does love you. Addiction is a disease. Try to remember that and maybe someday you’ll be able to understand what she did, even if you can’t forgive.”
“Forgiveness is a hard ask.”
“That’s why it’s more for you than her. If you can let go of the pain, you’ll be better for it.” He kissed her on the top of her head. “By the way, thank you for what you did for me yesterday.”
She jerked back a little, startled. “I didn’t do anything other than call 911.”
“You did a lot more than that. Your magic, whatever you did… the healer said you helped speed up my healing process. They weren’t expecting me to bounce back quite so fast.”
“I did?” she asked, still not quite believing it.
“You did. Now go tell Clair I’d like to see her. I think I might have some groveling to do.”
Faith laughed. “Yeah, you definitely do. But don’t worry, she loves you. She’ll get over it soon enough. Just tell her you like her shoes. Girls like that.”
He grinned. “Always.”
But before Faith could even get to her feet, the door cracked open, and Clair walked in with a smirk on her face.
Faith raised a curious eyebrow. “Did you get that thing taken care of?”
Clair gave her a decisive nod and then turned her attention to Lin. “Your ex-wife won’t be barging in here again. Not unless she calls first and you decide you want to see her, anyway.”
“You saw to that?” Lin asked, sounding surprised.
“Absolutely. Is that a problem?”
“No.” He chuckled. “I’ve said everything I needed to say to her.” He held his hand out to her. When she took it, he asked, “Am I forgiven?”
“Yes, but only because you’re in the hospital. Do that again and…” She glanced at Faith then leaned down and whispered something in his ear.
Lin winced.
Faith laughed and slipped out, giving them their privacy.
Chapter 20
The cold air stung Hunter’s skin, but he barely felt it as he hammered nails into the fence he was repairing at the Townsend orchard. The physical labor was welcome after the emotionally draining past few days. It had only taken Vivian half a day to find a house to rent in Eureka. She was already packing her and Zoey’s things. Watching his daughter’s books go into a box had nearly broken him.
It amazed him how fast he’d gotten attached to her. He’d wanted to grab hold of her and never let go. Instead, he and Vivian had set their daughter down and told her that Hunter was her biological father. She’d taken it in stride, claiming she’d already adopted him, so this just made it official.
He knew she’d have questions later that they’d have to deal with, but for now it had gone far easier than he’d ever expected. But they still needed to work out custody. He’d brought it up again, but Vivian had brushed him off, saying they’d work it out later. The lack of a concrete plan unsettled him, but it had only been a few days. He was trying to be patient.
Unfortunately, patience was something he was running short on. There were two people who were important to him: his daughter and Faith. His daughter was moving forty miles away, and he hadn’t seen Faith since the day at the hospital when Gia had shown up uninvited. He’d called her, but she hadn’t called back. He’d stopped by her office the night before after finishing her outdoor space, but Lena told him she’d been out all day.
Hunter positioned another nail and swung hard. It went all the way in with the one powerful stroke. He repeated the movement three mor
e times, with each swing growing progressively harder until he misjudged the last one and ended up bending the nail in half. He cursed and started to pull the nail out.
“That’s a shame. You were on such a roll,” a familiar feminine voice said from behind him.
He lowered the hammer and turned, squinting in the afternoon light. “Faith?”
She slid out of the golf cart and walked over to him, looking so lovely it was all he could do to not reach out and pull her into him. But even though she’d sounded friendly enough in her greeting, her brows were pinched, and her expression had an air of determination. She was there on a mission, and he was certain it had nothing to do with getting closer to him. She stopped a few feet from him and said, “We need to talk.”
Hunter placed the hammer in his toolbox and grabbed the jacket he’d draped over the fence railing. “Sure. Want to take a walk?”
She glanced at the golf cart and then back at him. The air was so cold he could see his own breath, but moving would certainly keep them warmer than just sitting in the cart. “Okay.”
They started out following the fence line. Faith was bundled in a scarf and a thick jacket, her hands stuffed in her pockets. Her cheeks were pink, and so were the tips of her ears. He had a vision of the two of them sitting by a fire, sipping coffee, and laughing with ease. It was already clear they wouldn’t be doing that anytime soon.
“What is it, Faith? There’s something wrong. There’s been something wrong between us ever since Gia—I mean… Gabrielle showed up.” His voice trailed off as he realized his blunder.
She stopped suddenly and stared up at him with accusing eyes.
“You already know, don’t you?” he asked.
“What’s that? The fact that my mother happens to be your uncle’s girlfriend? The one who raised you after your parents’ accident? The one you call Gia?”
“So, she finally told you,” he said.
“No.” She let out a bark of laughter that held no humor. “Funny thing, no one told me. I had to overhear it. Imagine my surprise to find out the guy I’d just started dating, the one I’d spilled my heart to, hid that he not only knew my mother, but knew exactly where she’d been all those years. So while he was drying my tears, he was holding back some pretty pertinent information. I’m here to find out why. So, tell me, Hunter, why did you target me? What was it you and Gabrielle hoped to gain by you coming to work for me? Huh? Why the lies?”
“Whoa.” Hunter held his hands up and took a step back, completely taken off guard. “I didn’t lie to you, Faith.”
“Right.” Her eyes were a little wild, and she was so keyed up she was practically shaking. “It just happens to be a coincidence that your guardian was my mother? I don’t buy it. What do you want from me?”
He wanted to wrap her in his arms, hold her tightly, and whisper reassurances, but he was afraid that if he tried to touch her, she’d haul off and deck him. And maybe he’d deserve it. She needed answers, not someone to protect her. “You want to know what I want, Faith? Are you sure you really want to know?”
“Yes.” Her answer was defiant and had the air of a challenge.
“Fine. I want you. I want your heart, your friendship, your body, and your soul. I want it all. I want you so bad I ache for you, and I have since the first moment we met.”
She opened her mouth, closed it, and then shook her head. She was speechless, exactly the effect he was going for.
“But I already know I can’t have any of that because you don’t trust me. Under the circumstances, I guess I can understand that. But if you’ll give me a chance, I think I can change your mind.”
“You can’t…” She shook her head again. “You knew Gia was my mother and didn’t tell me.”
“I didn’t know, Faith. I really didn’t. Not until late last week when I saw a picture on your desk. That was when I found out. I’ve only ever known her as Gia, my uncle’s girlfriend. I didn’t know her real last name was Townsend.”
“So you knew when we were on our date?” Her tone was accusatory, and he bit back a wince.
“Yes. I knew then.”
“And still, you didn’t say anything.” She placed her hands on her hips and glared at him. “You let me be blindsided.”
He frowned. “That wasn’t my intention. I wanted Gia—Gabrielle—to have a chance to tell you herself. That’s the only reason I didn’t say anything. I knew she was coming on Sunday, but then Lin got sick and she showed up at the hospital like that.” Hunter paused, trying to collect his thoughts. “I was angry that she’d do something so inappropriate, so I confronted her about telling you the truth. Obviously she still hasn’t, otherwise I doubt you’d be so angry with me right now.”
“I overheard the two of you arguing at the hospital,” Faith said quietly.
“When we were outside?” That’s when it hit him. Her entire demeanor had changed when he’d gone back inside. She’d sent him away and hadn’t answered any of his calls. Hunter moved closer and reached for her hand, taking it in his. “I’m sorry, Faith. I can see how you’d think I’d been lying to you. But I swear I wasn’t.”
She stared at their joined hands. “I guess I could’ve understood that argument if she wasn’t an addict, Hunter. You should’ve told me before we made plans to meet her.”
In that moment, he saw his fatal mistake. He was used to dealing with addicts. His life with Mason and Gia had been one of survival, one Faith and her sisters hadn’t needed to learn to navigate. In his desire for her to get her answers, he’d inadvertently let her walk into a dangerous situation or at least a potential one. If Gia had shown up hopped up on her potions, anything could’ve happened. “I’m sorry, Faith. I went up and saw her on Friday night. She was sober then, doing better than I’d seen in years. If I’d thought she’d be dangerous, I’d have said something.”
“My sisters all have little girls to think of,” she said.
“I know. You’re right, I should’ve said something. I was just… I saw how much pain you were in. I wanted you to make peace with your mother if for no other reason than for yourself.”
She stared at her feet. “My dad said something similar about making peace and figuring out how to forgive. He said it would be better for me, not her. But you know what, Hunter?”
“What’s that?”
“I don’t have a mother. Not really. She lost herself to the potions years ago. And to make matters worse, she told my dad she left because she was afraid she’d hurt us. I could accept that if she hadn’t gone on to raise you. She didn’t love us enough to stay, but she was there for you. I don’t know what that means. Did she love you more than us? Was she too weak to leave a second time? Or maybe she was so far into her addiction that she couldn’t make any decisions. All I know is that my mother left us and raised someone else. And that hurts.”
Her words sucker-punched him in the gut. He’d hadn’t thought about what it would mean to her that he knew her mother and she didn’t.
“I can’t be with you, Hunter. Not right now. It’s too much for me to process.” She reached up and pressed her hand to his cheek. “I know you to be a good man. And I’ll probably regret this for a very long time. But we have too many factors working against us. And one you should be giving your full attention to.”
“Faith, I—” he started, wanting desperately to change her mind, but she cut him off.
“You need to focus your attention on your daughter, Zoey.”
The words hung in the air as they stared at one another. Finally, Hunter said, “You heard that part, too, then?”
She nodded.
“I didn’t know. No one did.” He explained Craig’s blood transfusion and how they finally realized the truth. “We never intended to keep it a secret. We just wanted to tell Zoey first so she wouldn’t hear it from someone else.”
“I understand,” Faith said. “I really do. But I think you need to give Vivian a chance. Not me. See if you can put your family back together, Hunter. Don’t
you all deserve that?”
Had she really just implied that he should be with Vivian? Were the two of them in cahoots or something? “Vivian and I are never going to be together,” he said flatly, tired of having the same argument with all the women in his life. “We aren’t a good match.”
“What about Zoey? Doesn’t she deserve to have both of her parents full-time?” Faith asked earnestly. “Isn’t that what we both wanted as kids?”
He ground his teeth together. “I will always be present for my daughter, Faith. That doesn’t mean I have to pretend to love someone when I’m in love with someone else.”
“Don’t… don’t do that, Hunter. Don’t say things you can’t take back.”
“Who said I wanted to take it back? It’s the truth. You already know how I feel about you.”
“And I’ve already made it clear I can’t be with you. Thank you for the work you’ve done at the spa. It’s incredible as always. Since the work is complete, I’ll mail you the recommendation you asked for within the week.”
“I don’t care about the recommendation,” he said.
“I’ll send it anyway.” She turned around and started to head back toward the golf cart. After a few steps, she paused and glanced back. “I really am sorry. I hope you find what you’re looking for with someone else.”
He didn’t respond. He just stood there, his heart turning to stone as he watched the only woman he’d ever wanted walk out of his life.
Chapter 21
Lincoln Townsend was discharged from the hospital just two days after he’d been admitted. All four sisters and Clair had been there to accompany him home, but Lin wasn’t having any of it. Once they got back to the house, he’d ordered everyone out, saying he wasn’t dying anytime soon and he wouldn’t have his daughters acting otherwise.
After some mild protests, Clair agreed to stay with him for the next few days to keep an eye on him. But even Faith had to agree it wasn’t really necessary. The healers were confident he was out of the woods, and his oncologist had said there were no changes in his condition. It appeared, for the time being at least, that Lincoln Townsend was correct, and he wasn’t going anywhere.
