by S. K Munt
The girl grinned, and just like that, Finn pressed her hand to her heart, wishing she could hold the warmth of Andii’s smile in there.
‘Thank you so much for doing this…’ Lindsay’s brother said, coming over and extending his arms to her for a grateful hug. ‘You have just made her year, little one!’
‘No problem!’ Finn said, accepting his grateful squeeze. She didn’t know the guy, because he was quite a bit older than her, but he’d been instrumental in helping her out all morning, which made him a winner in her eyes! ‘And thank you for-’
‘Hey! You know that girl you’re all over has a boyfriend right?!’ an angry male voice suddenly snapped, and Finn felt her spine snap straight as she whirled around, half expecting to see Aaron Bragg storming over, because he was the only guy she knew that had the gall- and the inclination- to embarrass her like that in public! But her jaw dropped when she turned and saw that it was Reeve Hayes stampeding her way instead, with his green eyes slitted in anger.
‘REEVE?’ Finn disentangled herself from Lindsay’s big brother’s embrace, feeling stained and filthy all of the sudden, like her streaked arms and legs were streaked with dirt and scandal, not dye. She knew that was stupid, because she hadn’t done anything wrong, but Reeve looked so angry she couldn’t help but wonder if maybe she had! ‘What are you on about? Actually no- what are you doing here?’
‘Sorting shit out!’ Reeve snapped, thrusting a letter into Finn’s stained hands, before turning on Lindsay’s brother, who was at least a foot taller than him and twice as muscular. Reeve look unperturbed by the fact that he was sizing up to an adult though, which made Finn’s heart lurch, but Lindsay’s brother’s eyes dance with amusement. ‘Starting with this clown!’
‘Whoa… calm down, pup,’ Lindsay’s brother patted his shoulder encouragingly. ‘You’re seeing something where there’s nothing.’ Reeve shrugged off his hand, so the older boy stepped back, holding them up, drawing Finn’s attention to the fact that he was shirtless, muscular and glistening with sweat for the first time all morning, which probably hadn’t helped Reeve process the image of seeing his arms wrapped around her!
Not that it makes the slightest bit of difference to me! Finn thought, blushing furiously. I’m already freaking about dating a guy my own age, much less taking an interest in one my sister’s age too!
‘I was just thanking her for helping my kid sister, okay?’ Lindsay’s brother was saying. ‘No need to get all puffed up about it.’
‘Puffed up?’ Reeve demanded, looking affronted. ‘Who the f-’
‘He’s right, Reeve!’ Finn said, tugging on Reeve’s shirt as she looked helplessly at the other guy, wondering if she was as red with mortification as she felt. ‘Sorry! Uh… what was your name again?’
‘Lance.’
‘Great. Um, sorry Lance- and thanks again.’ Eager for Lance to get gone, Finn tugged on Reeve’s shirt, whipping him around a bit so that he had to face her. He still looked furious as he turned to call out:
‘Maybe you shouldn’t be hugging girls who don’t even know your name, hmm?’ But Lance had already started walking away and shaking his head, so after a painful moment, Reeve eventually looked back at Finn so he could growl: ‘I hope that’s the first time he’s tried-’
‘Stop!’ Finn cried, moving her hands up to cup his hot, sweaty shoulders and shaking him a little. Reeve still looked as gorgeous as she remembered him being, which was unfortunate, but he still looked furious too, which was unsettling. ‘Did you hear a word we said? You’re upset over nothing!’
‘No,’ Reeve glared down at her in a way that turned the sharp angles of his face into a pointed mask of fury. ‘I’m upset because I’ve been running around the Peninsula for a freaking hour, trying to work out which van was yours or where that farm is that you said you work at on Saturdays to give you that letter from your boyfriend… only to find you just before I have to go in another guy’s arms!’
‘In a stranger’s arms, accepting a hug of gratitude and nothing else!’ Finn protested, gesturing around her. ‘Look around you, Reeve! See all those clothes? I helped sixteen refugee kids dye all that this morning so they have something nice to wear for once, and that’s why Lance was hugging me! Just like heaps of other parents did before you showed up and made a scene!’
Reeve’s eyebrows were still knitted together, but he looked around, his sharp green eyes taking it all in before he asked grudgingly: ‘Really? This was all your doing? That’s manic!’
‘No- I ended up needing a lot of help,’ Finn admitted. ‘From people like Lance, who you just humiliated!’
‘Oh he’s fine…’ Reeve grumbled, but some of the angry flush had faded from his complexion, leaving just a bit reddening his prominent cheekbones. ‘Besides, regardless of what reasoning he gave you, it’s inappropriate for guys his age to be hugging girls your age dressed the way he was when a handshake or a high-five would have sufficed.’ He eyed her. ‘And you’re crazy if you don’t think seeing you dressed like that was what inspired him to try and come in for a landing in the first place too!’
Finn looked down at herself. She was wearing an old white bikini, which she hadn’t minded getting stained, with her favourite blue cargo shorts, which she now realised were the very same shorts she’d worn the night of the Strike and the day they’d gone horse-riding. ‘Dressed like what?’ she demanded. ‘Reeve, I’m at the beach! And I’m wearing shorts-’
‘They don’t cover what sleazes like that prize though!’ Reeve protested, reaching out to stroke the blue dye that had been streaked across her abdomen, just beneath her navel and Finn’s stomach contracted at the contact, like a sunburst had exploded within it.
‘Ugh! You know what?!’ Horrified with the electric charge she’d felt at his touch, and annoyed that he was basically telling her she was dressed like someone who was ‘asking for it’ Finn stepped back and cupped her stomach, glaring at him. ‘You-’
‘Wait- don’t yell at me okay? That was out of line, and I’m sorry!’ Reeve immediately reached forward and enfolded her with a hug, which stole her breath, even though he hadn’t actually hugged her that hard. ‘Forgive me all right? I take it back!’
‘You take what back?’ Finn wheezed.
‘Anything that was even remotely embarrassing or juvenile,’ he assured her, and because all of the crackle had vanished from his voice, leaving just the huskiness behind to tickle her ears, she felt herself melt a little, as though her moods were as flexible as his!
Finn snorted, but surrendered to the embrace by squeezing him back. ‘So… every word you’ve said since you showed up?’
‘Pretty much.’ Then, he kissed the top of her head sweetly and murmured: ‘I warned you that I had a jealous nature, remember?’
Finn stared up at him, stunned because the warmth of his lips felt as though it had been permanently tattooed against her scalp. ‘Yeah you did. But…’ lord she was practically panting now! ‘Shouldn’t that pertain to your romantic interests Reeve? Not Bailey’s?’
Reeve stared down at her, looking perplexed, but then he sighed and released her, rubbing her arm. ‘Probably yeah. But what can I say? He’s my best mate. So what hurts him, hurts me.’
‘Oh,’ Finn said, secretly thinking: Then it’s a good thing you don’t know how your touch made me feel just now- because the both of you would be in agony if you did! At a loss to anything to say at him that wouldn’t damn her in both of their eyes, Finn looked down at the letter in her hands and asked quietly: ‘Is this from him, or you?’
‘Him. And I assure you, it’s a good one.’ Reeve sighed, his entire posture relaxing, like he’d already forgotten about the incident with Lance. ‘He would have preferred to deliver it himself of course, but he’s still stuck out on Two-Tree Island, helping mend some fences that got wrecked the other night, when that storm came through and freaked a bull out. We thought we were going to have to wait until Monday to get it to you, but then mum said she had to come over to the mai
nland today to pick up some nail plates to help repair the shed roof, so I said I’d go, because I knew I’d be able to pass that along if I did, and hopefully catch up with you for a little while- maybe even give you the chance to write him back before I went?’ He made a face. ‘I really didn’t count on it taking so long to find you though…’
‘Oh,’ Finn said again, biting her lip like she could bite back her disappointment. ‘So you really do have to leave straight away?’ Oh my god! Why does that hurt so bad?
‘I do,’ Reeve said, his green gaze full of regret. ‘He only comes in at eleven on weekends, and then leaves again at one and I still have to go get nail plates yet so…’ he perked up. ‘But I got the letter to you, so that’s what matters... right?’
‘Um… right,’ Finn smiled thinly, feeling like the worst girlfriend in the world. ‘Well, thanks for all the trouble you’ve gone to, Reeve and, I’m sorry about the misunderstanding.’
‘Probably not as sorry as I’m gonna feel about it like, ten embarrassing minutes from now…’ Reeve confessed.
‘Good,’ Finn chuckled. ‘Now let’s never have another incident like that again, okay? I might not know how to be a girlfriend yet, but I’m not a cheater.’ She held up the letter. ‘And tell Bailey thank you, for taking the time to write, given how busy he is.’
‘Happily. Anyway, I really have to go so…’ Reeve came in for another hug and Finn relaxed this time, wrapping her arms around him right back. She knew Jade would lecture her if she could see her now, but Finn was suddenly seeing a lot of things clearer, which was why, when she was ready to pull back, she leaned up and kissed Reeve on the cheek whispering:
‘Also, remind Bailey about how lucky he is, to have such a caring friend, okay?’ She inhaled deeply, savouring his scent, and then swallowed back tears as she said: ‘I really would kill for what you guys have.’
‘There’s always Paige!’ Reeve offered helpfully. ‘Right? You can just come see her more?’
‘Right,’ Finn said, but as she turned away from her newest friend and tucked the letter into the rear pocket of her shorts, Finn was swallowing back tears, fairly certain that she’d just seen the last of them that she would in a while.
Possibly ever, if they were as close and as loyal to one another, as they claimed to be.
*
Finn made herself clean up the tie-dye stuff before she read the letter, but eventually she sat down against the same palm tree that she’d written her application letter beneath a week beforehand and read it slowly, feeling her eyes well up with tears yet again as she did. Not because Bailey had broken up with her within it as she’d previously feared he might, but because he’d said all the right things.
Dear Finn,
I am so sorry for the way I’ve acted this last week! Yeah, I was angry at the idea of you willingly applying for a job, but no, I didn’t really think about how badly you needed the work, or how awful the work you’re doing right now is, and when I heard about what happened to those girls I almost lost it. I’m such an idiot. Fessing up... the fact that you didn’t say you loved me back probably didn’t help my mood, because I was already feeling a bit hurt when I got the letter about the new job… but I totally get that it’s too fast for you and that’s fine- normal, even! I also now understand that you have way more pressure on you than I thought you did, and clearly, you have more than keeping a boyfriend sane to worry about, so don’t worry- I promise to be much better behaved from hereon out.
I know that I won’t hear from you again until Monday afternoon now, but I love you Finn, and I really, REALLY hope that you get the job, all right?
Yours Always Bailey.
Finn’s eyes were shimmering with tears by the time she’d finished the letter, but she already knew what she had to say back and knew that it would only be worse if she delayed it, so she blinked them back before they could fall and bolted back to her van to respond honestly before she could chicken out.
Dear Bailey,
You are easily one of the most wonderful boys I’ve ever met, and I want you to know how relieved I am to know that you understand why I was hurt and why I was desperate for that job. But I’m sorry… because as flattered as I am that you want me to be your girl, I just honestly don’t believe that I’m the right girl for you, and no, I’m not yet convinced that you’re the right guy for me either, because if we were a good match, I don’t think we would have already spent half of our brand-new relationship this upset, you know?
I mean, isn’t the start supposed to be the easy part? Yet more often than not, I’ve just felt at a loss for the right thing to say to you, that was both what you wanted to hear AND what I wanted to say. And weirder still, it’s been easier to talk to Reeve, which I guess makes sense because when I was writing to him, I didn’t feel like I had to be sexy or romantic or suave- I could just be me, and that was okay.
But I don’t feel that way with you, and though that’s not your fault- it’s not something I can change either, at least not without spending more time together in person. That being said, I care about you very much and hope that maybe one day, we can be friends but if you don’t want that, that’s your call. Just know that you will be missed, and that I’m fully aware that by writing this, I’m possibly making the biggest mistake I’ve ever made in my entire life, okay?
Until we see each other again.
-Finn.
Finn checked their little clock when she was finished and sighed when she realised it was ten to one already, which meant that if she wanted to deliver this to Bailey before she could lead him on for a second longer than she had to, than the time was now. Wiping away tears, Finn raced down to the dock, holding it above her head and waving it when she saw that the barge was already pulling away.
‘Reeve!’ she cried, waving it. ‘Here! Take this back with you!’
‘Hey!’ Reeve had been sitting out on the deck, staring back at the park, but he lunged forward when he saw the way she was racing and reached out to swipe the envelope from her hand, seconds before gravity could pull her down into the water, where she probably deserved to be. ‘Wow- that was fast.’ Reeve smiled crookedly down at her. ‘You must really like him, hey?’
A lump immediately formed in her throat again, mostly because she knew he’d probably never treat her with one of his slanted smiles again, but Finn returned it as best as she could, knowing that the poor guy had already been bogged down in enough of Finn-related drama, to be exposed to it for a minute more.
‘Bye Reeve!’ she croaked out, and then turned and walked away, deciding for sure that she was definitely unpopular for a reason, but knowing, when she saw that line of tie-dyed clothes flapping in the breeze like happy flags, that maybe, she’d accomplish more from being authentic than she ever would from being beloved anyway.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Finn had expected to spend all of Saturday night bawling, but though her heart seemed to tremble from misery, her eyes remained dry. Yes, she was already second-guessing her decision to end things with Bailey because she didn’t like her odds of finding someone that nice again, but her mother had gently pointed out that losing the perfect guy wasn’t the same thing as losing the guy that was perfect for her and Finn knew she was right, so she focused harder on sending healing energy his way than on pitying herself for that cold, hollow feeling that was now taking up the space in her tummy where her anxiety had been.
Finn feared what the fall-out from the break-up was going to be, especially as far as Paige was concerned, and had already assumed that the Hive girls would go back to treating her like a useless Cling again. But Finn hadn’t really enjoyed the temporary popularity that having Bailey had afforded her, because she’d felt like an imposter that whole time anyway.
True, she was still terrified that Paige would revert to avoiding her, and sick over the idea of never seeing Reeve or Bailey again, because she liked them as friends as much as she’d liked the idea of having something more with either of them, but she’d cho
sen to end things for her own comfort, so if they had to write her off for their own sakes, then she knew she had to let them.
Male friends are probably just like female friends in that sense right? Finn thought as she dressed that morning in a tie-dyed yellow tank, and her old cargo shorts again, which her mother had already washed. If they can walk away, then maybe you should just let them?
That was true enough, she supposed, but though she was willing to walk away, happy that her life had been forever altered if not ‘fixed’ by her first brush with romance, she knew she’d always look back fondly to the first time she’d ever felt truly seen anyway, and would probably always think of Reeve as being the one that had gotten away, even if he never knew it.
Finn had slept in late and had intended to spend all day reading an old Jane Austen book of her mother’s that she hadn’t read yet (the more classics she could read before her interview with Howard the head-librarian, the better off she figured she’d be!) but while she was searching for the picnic blanket she used when she read outside, there was a sharp rap on the door. Her mother had gone to some community meeting about work parties that were being sent into Broadsound, so Finn was the only one home to answer it.
‘Hello?’ she asked as she cracked open the door enough to peek outside, terrified of opening it until she’d confirmed that it wasn’t a rapist who’d warrant her ringing the bell. ‘Who’s-’
‘I brought this for you!’ Reeve snapped, shoving a wrinkled enveloped through the tiny gap she’d created before turning and rattling down her stairs. ‘Not that I expect a thank you!’
‘Hey…!’ Finn flung open the door, feeling her heart race as she hesitated on the threshold, straining to catch the letter he’d stabbed at her before it hit the ground. It was hard to get her limbs or digits to do anything that she needed them to do though, given how much adrenaline was coursing through her in reflex to Reeve’s swift arrival and equally swift departure. ‘How’d you know where I lived-’
