by S. K Munt
‘Huh?’ Finn gasped, leaning back. ‘You’ve never been kissed?’
‘Never,’ Reeve admitted, biting his lips and immediately looking down at hers, making her lips ache. ‘I almost leaned into you a couple of million times last weekend but that’s the closest-’
‘I don’t believe it!’ Finn stammered, as he leaned in to gently kiss her fingers again. ‘You’re so sexy! So confident! I just assumed that you’d done all that and more-’
‘Never,’ Reeve repeated, pressing one of the fingers on his free hand to her lips to silence her. He flushed again though, in a way that made his cheeks look delightfully pink, and his gleaming green eyes hazy and humid, indicating that she wasn’t the only one suffering from a sudden spike in humidity. ‘And- wait: you think I’m sexy?’
‘If they bottled your scent, I’d drown everything I owned in it,’ Finn admitted, kissing the tip of his finger back, because she just needed to press them against something to take the ache away. ‘And every time you whispered in my ear, it felt like the furthest I’d ever gone with a boy before!’
Reeve moaned and inched in closer, making her shiver. ‘God, you are good with words...’ He cupped her hot face and searched her eyes as he exhaled and said soberly: ‘Look, I’m not going to lie and say I was intentionally saving my first kiss for you, because I couldn’t seem to keep you in my life for more than like, half a day at a time… but I was at least saving it for someone who’d make me feel the way you did, you know?’ His expression became anguished, as he brushed his thumb against her lower lip. ‘But no one ever has. So no, I wasn’t screwing with you when I said I was in love with you Finn and believe me when I say, that I’ve tried as hard as I can not to be.’ His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat. ‘But I can’t do it anymore. Yes, I was upset that you’d hurt Bailey because yes, he’s the best friend I’ve ever had...’ He rubbed his lips together. ‘But what was really upsetting me, when I dropped off that letter, was the idea that I was going to lose you again too, because truly, I’d have preferred to have you in my life as my best friend’s girl, then not at all.’
‘I don’t want to be his girl, Reeve!’ Finn whispered tearfully, as she looked up into his eyes. ‘I want to be yours- and though I can’t claim to have liked you since we were kids, I can admit that I felt something between us in the quarry that night, and every second since, and it’s just gotten more intense for me every day- to the point where I almost couldn’t stand to touch you or look at you, because I couldn’t control the way it affected me when I did!’
Reeve’s eyes darkened. ‘Really?’
‘That horse ride was torture for me, Reeve and at one point, I felt so compelled to kiss you that I almost just-’
‘Me too!’ Reeve breathed, grasping her face that little bit more tightly as she gripped his elbows. ‘And watching the movie in the dark-’
‘Ugh!’ Finn interrupted. ‘Yes! I was humming all over, and so glad I was wearing long clothes, so you couldn’t see the way I got goosebumps when you whispered in my ear… God, I’m getting dizzy just thinking about it!’ She swallowed hard at Reeve stared at her in wonder, like he couldn’t believe his ears any more than she could hers. ‘But I don’t want to come between you guys either-’ her voice cracked as a furrow appeared between his brows. ‘Which is why I was trying to walk away before anyone got hurt!’
‘I don’t think you can help that...’ Reeve whispered, propping up her chin. ‘He’s going to be hurt, and we’re going to fight about this, and it’s gonna cost us a lot of money to be together and I’m bound to annoy the shit out of you…’ he wet his lips and glanced down at her mouth again. ‘But I think we were gonna end up like this no matter what we did, especially if your feelings for me are as strong as mine are for you, you know?’ he looked back up at her. ‘Plus, Bailey owes it to me to step aside for once, and I know I can make him see that, so if you swear that I’m the one you want-’
‘I swear it!’ Finn breathed, hoping that the cousins’ relationship was strong enough to weather the storm that was the way she felt for Reeve. ‘But I’m holding my breath waiting for you to kiss me to convince me this is real, so if you don’t do it soon I’m going to-’
Reeve moaned and gently raked his mouth against hers, parting her lips and causing her to gasp, taking in the oxygen she so desperately needed. In that moment, it felt like every feeling she’d been waiting to kick in for years kicked in simultaneously, flooding her bloodstream with adrenaline and lust, so when she felt him hesitate as though he was unsure as to what to do next, she fisted his sodden shirt and pulled him down closer, coaxing his tongue into her mouth with a gentle flick of her own, and feeling a shudder run through her when he practically growled and crushed her to him.
Okay! I was way off at the gala! Finn thought, sunbursts of yellow and gold exploding inside her as Reeve picked her up off her feet and then propelled her backwards until she was pinned between him and the pylon so he could kiss her more deeply without them both falling over. This is what being a teenager is supposed to feel like- pure and utter ELATION!
Finn still felt as though she were falling anyway, and she supposed she truly was- harder than she’d ever expected to fall before. But Reeve had her in his arms, just as he had that night of the Strike, so Finn surrendered to the perfection of the moment and the depth of that ruinous kiss, suddenly keenly aware that not only had she been right to follow her heart, but that she probably might never want to read a love story again, now that she’d finally tasted what actually living one was like.
PART THREE
CHAPTER TWENTY
Friday November 22nd, Two Years After The World Ended.
Reeve and Finn’s first kiss ended up marking yet another turning point in Finn’s life, so by the time she finally strode into the library for her interview almost two weeks later, she did so with a smile on her face and her head high- so high that she didn’t see Georgia Janks sitting in one of the three wooden chairs in the corridor until the last minute.
‘Look who showed…’ Georgia tucked her long skirt under the back of her thighs as she eyed Finn’s shorter one with disdain, then combed her long pale plait over her shoulder like a faithful pet. ‘Here we go again, hmm?’
‘Just like old times…’ Finn said in a bored tone, as she slipped into the furthest seat from Georgia and began triple-checking that she had all the paperwork she needed in her folio.
Except you don’t actually exist for me today witch… Finn continued silently as she flipped through the stack of references that she’d collected from Principal Van Der Merwe, Granger, Doctor Banik and Lady Miriam, who’d been happy to vouch for what a hard worker and positive influence she was. She hoped she didn’t need them now that she’d had eleven months of interacting with Howard the librarian to establish a rapport with him anyway, but it was comforting to have that folder full of validation regardless. And I’m gonna make you regret coming too, because this is one competition that you’re going to lose!
Finn started re-reading Lady Miriam’s glowing reference then, which she’d actually offered to write for Finn after seeing the way Finn had helped transform the esplanade’s shanty town the weekend prior. Finn hadn’t done all the work herself, but she had organised and overseen the tie-dying of every white tent, so now thanks to her and all of the volunteers she’d co-ordinated, the esplanade looked less like a crisis camp in a war-torn country, and more like the foreshore at a trendy music festival. It had been such a simple change to make such a shallow, cosmetic shift- and yet it had lifted community spirits so high that the refugees were now organising a project of their own: building a camp kitchen that they’d be able to share out of old stuff they’d up-cycled, which would make their daily lives easier and more hygienic.
Not to be outdone by the adults, the kids in the community had started getting in on the re-vamping too, and now every day when Finn walked home, she passed clusters of refugee children everywhere making wind chimes out of shells, driftwood and ruined
fishing line to hang from the trees, like they’d taken a page from Sair Monroe’s book by collectively deciding to polish their ruins.
‘She is a very community-minded, inclusive young lady…’ Miriam had written in her font-worthy handwriting. ‘And if given the position within your library, I do not doubt that her contagiously enthusiastic attitude will draw more curious readers your way too…’
Finn had memorised most of her references by then, so after ascertaining that they were all accounted for, she tucked her application behind them and then closed her folder, sighing happily. She felt good, she was fairly certain she looked good and she’d actually been eating three times a day of late, so she felt strong and alert too, which was new. She wished Georgia had opted out, because she knew that the psychic vampire would try to sabotage her somehow, but that was exactly why she’d decided to collect references- as a pre-emptive rebuttal.
‘Hey…’ Georgia said then, and though Finn didn’t shift her gaze from the wall, she twitched her brows in acknowledgement. ‘Is it true that you dumped Bailey Burnett for Reeve Hayes? And that you and Reeve are really serious now?’
Now Finn’s lip twitched. Reeve had missed his chance to get back to the Shards by staying to declare his love for Finn that day, which had forced them to have an awkward conversation with her mum swiftly after. Sair hadn’t been thrilled by the idea of her daughter’s new boyfriend spending the night in general, let alone without his mother’s permission, but Reeve had explained that the other passengers would gossip about what he’d been doing when they’d seen him last, which would fill in some blanks for Reeve’s mum, who’d apparently known about his feelings for Finn for ages.
Reeve had told Finn’s mum that his mum would definitely ground him for the man overboard thing, but that she’d do it with a smile, and though Sair hadn’t looked convinced, she’d said: ‘Well I’m not gonna make you sleep on the dock am I?’ And so, their first date had begun.
Reeve hadn’t brought anything with him but what had been in his pockets, so he’d stripped off his top layer of clothes and had left them to dry in the sun while he and Finn had spent the rest of the afternoon on the beach swimming, climbing rocks, and exploring the mangroves, which had made Finn deliriously happy, because it had proven that he was as adventurous by nature as she was. They’d even tried fishing for a bit, and though Finn hadn’t been able to master putting tackle on her own hook, Reeve had assured her that he’d be happy to do it for her forever anyway, if that was what it took to keep her fishing at his side.
‘Forever, hmm?’ Finn had loved watching him expertly thread sinkers onto their lines, like a wizened old fisherman. ‘That’s a big promise for a fourteen-year-old boy to keep...’
‘I’ll be fifteen next Sunday,’ Reeve had growled, before whispering into her ear: ‘and it won’t be hard to keep, because I’ll be getting a kiss for everyone I do, won’t I?’ which had prompted Finn to kiss him until they’d been as tangled as their lines.
That wasn’t the only time they’d ended up in a sweaty, sandy tangle of limbs that day, and it hadn’t taken Finn long to realise that poor Reeve was going to end up feeling a lot more confused and frustrated than he did if she didn’t stop sliding her hands over every exposed inch of his sun-warmed skin every chance she got. But to her delight, Reeve had shown a lot more restraint than she had, and had always been the first one to come up for air and then distract them from their raging hormones by starting a new conversation after.
‘So…’ he’d said breathlessly once. ‘What else do you do around here for fun? When you’re not tie-dying or entrancing boys to jump off boats like the sexy little siren you are, that is…?’ That had made Finn giggle, but it had gotten them talking again, so that was how they’d spent their day; alternating between talking and kissing until both of them had had swollen lips and husky voices.
Their time together hadn’t gone completely smoothly though, because as it turned out, Finn and Reeve were as good at pissing one another off as they were at turning one another on, which had led to them having several spats. First, when he’d gone to roll a cigarette out of his still damp pouch of tobacco (luckily for both of them, he’d sworn that he’d quit now that he knew how much Finn despised it) a second time, when they’d been walking back from the beach and had bumped into Lance, which had gotten Reeve muttering things about ‘Cocky Outsiders’ (which he’d apologised for later, after pleading nicotine withdrawals) and then again near the end of the night, after Reeve had admitted that every single ‘Shardian’ probably already knew that they were together already anyway- including Bailey which meant that he probably wasn’t going to have the chance to break the news to him gently. Reeve had been the one who’d ended up upset that time though, because he’d been hurt when a panicked Finn had questioned if what they were doing was wrong.
‘We’re doing what’s right by us, which is bigger than anything I’ve ever been a part of before,’ Reeve had scolded her, his eyes gleaming in the moonlight filtering through the vertical blinds above the long, slim couch he was sleeping on. Sair had made him sleep in the living room of course, but Finn had dragged her mattress off her bed and onto her floor, so she’d be able to see his face from the narrow end of the corridor as they drifted off. ‘I’m scared of how this is going to play out too, but you’re worth it to me, so if you feel otherwise then you’d better shatter my heart now-’
‘No,’ Finn had whimpered, crawling to him and then up onto him, sensing how vital it was that she reassure him of her devotion with an embrace. ‘I’m with you, okay?’ She’d covered his face in kisses and had tasted tears near the corner of his eye, which had shaken her. ‘I’m here. I’m just… I’m scared, Reeve. I’ve never been this happy before without something awful happening to me after, you know? And I don’t even feel like I can say: ‘No! I’ve earned this happiness, and no one has the right to take it away from me!’ because I feel so guilty about Bailey!’
‘It doesn’t matter if you feel like you’ve earned me or not!’ Reeve had rasped, grasping her hips. ‘Because I know for a fact that I’ve earned you, all right?’ Then he’d rolled her under him so he could kiss her more deeply and possessively than he had yet, melting her into a puddle of desire until both of them had been shivering and gasping for breath. Finn had believed him at the time, and that it would all work out in the end, but they’d both had tears in their eyes as he’d zipped her up into his hoody on the dock the following morning, and Finn hadn’t been able to shake the fear that something might rip them apart before they saw one another again.
Now I’m the one who’s too much! she’d thought, pressing her hand to her wildly thunking heart. But if he is too then… that makes us just enough for each other, right?
Most of that following Monday had been a trial, because Finn had felt like she was copping it from every direction. Her mother had lectured her about Finn jumping out of one relationship and straight into another, and the girls at school had been irked that Finn hadn’t let them in about her feelings for Reeve straight up because apparently, that’s what friends were supposed to do: divulge everything. Mischa and Bonnie had ended up admitting that they’d suspected it anyway, and were more annoyed that she’d confided in Jade over them- which had annoyed Jade, who’d said she was sick of being treated like she didn’t count because she wasn’t someone’s girlfriend, a Potential or in the Hive. Cara had been horrified that Finn had traded down to a younger boy, but she was actually pleased with the development, because it meant that the ‘older and hotter’ cousin (her words) was now back on the market and Gemma, who now hung out with them every day, had actually been happy for Finn, and two weeks later, was the only one whose eyes didn’t glaze over every time Finn launched into a new edition of: ‘Guess what I think is adorable about Reeve today…?’
Ironically, the person that had dealt with the news the worst had been Ag, who’d pointed to Finn’s new short skirt and declared that she was looking and acting like a slut now, before striding of
f, leaving Bonnie to apologise before running off after him- in her equally short skirt. Finn had been stung by his remarks, and then heartsick later after she’d collected her first letter from Reeve only to learn that Bailey was so hurt and angry that he’d refused to speak to him period; but they’d both anticipated there being fall-out and they both knew they kind of deserved it, so they’d vowed to one another that they wouldn’t get angry or defensive in response.
Paige had taken the news hard too, and though it grieved her to see Bailey in so much pain, and to see Reeve and Bailey so estranged, she’d mostly been hurt that Finn and Reeve had kept her in the dark about their feelings for one another as well. But she’d ended up forgiving them for that after both had insisted that they’d never had any intention on acting upon their feelings, and had been just as shocked as she had been, to learn that the other felt the same way.
So now that twelve days had passed, most involved were feeling a lot better about the whole situation, and were now patiently waiting for Bailey to move on- hopefully with a girl that was as good a match for him as Finn and Reeve were for one another.
‘Maybe you were right,’ Reeve had written in his last letter. ‘Maybe I have made Bailey weak, by always doing the heavy-lifting for him. I know you put our friendship on a pedestal and of course, I do too, but I’m starting to think that screwing him over is the best thing I could’ve done for him, because he’s like a new man now- the kind of man whose shoulder-barging me in the hall, freezing me out of conversations and trying to beat me at everything! Yeah, he’s being a bit of a tosser, but people are so shocked that I did the dirty on him that they’re following him everywhere, offering him comfort and trying to cheer him up, and man, is he eating up the attention and standing taller for it! He even looks at me all the time as if to say: ‘See? I don’t even NEED you!’ But what he doesn’t realise is that I’m happy to see him come into his own, you know? Now, I’m just hoping that he eventually sees that he doesn’t have to NEED me in his life, to WANT to have me around, which would be kind of perfect, because that’s how it’s always been for me too!
