by S. K Munt
‘I hid it because I knew you’d react like this!’ Jade protested.
‘With good reason!’ Finn shot back, before attempting to get her breathing and the volume of her voice under control with a deep inhalation before she continued more calmly: ‘Look, I know you have a tendency to like, space-out from time to time, and that you’ve decided that you’re better off under-thinking things than overthinking things, because it keeps you all Zen or whatever...’ Finn wriggled her fingers in the air, like she was scattering pixie dust. ‘But I’m sorry- I’m through with people under-thinking how they treat me. So though I can forgive you being thoughtless enough to ask Reeve out while you underestimated how I felt about him, I’m telling you that if you go through with this date now that I’ve made it clear that it’s killing me, then that’s it for us, okay? You can have him because his free will is his own, but you can’t have us both.’
Jade’s eyes widened. ‘Just like that?’ she squeaked. ‘That’s not fair! You gave Georgia a second chance the other night-’
‘Which turned out to be the stupidest thing I’ve ever done!’ Finn interrupted. ‘You seriously think I’m gonna take that risk again for someone who can’t even admit they’ve crossed a line?!’
‘But if you knew what I’ve gone through, you’d understand better!’ Jade cried piteously. ‘Geez! Do you have any idea how lonely I am? How much I miss my mum? How hard it is to make friends now that there are so few girls left our age? How much it sucks being a non-Potential around you guys, who have so many opportunities-’
‘We all have problems just like we all have potential!’ Finn snapped. ‘And we all have opportunities to make the world a better place, with or without superpowers! But the fact that you’re not super-human doesn’t justify you helping Georgia twist the knife-’
‘But I didn’t-’
‘Yes you did!’ Finn cried. ‘I’ve been on trial in the court of public opinion all week- for four years in fact, thanks to Janks- and I should’ve won! But that’s hard to do, when your best character witnesses are too busy hooking up and avoiding you to stand by you!’ The mist in Finn’s eyes thickened. ‘I’m sorry you lost your mum, but the Strike isn’t what’s killing our friendship- your behaviour is! So if having a wedding date means more to you than I do then walk- just like you did last time! But don’t come running to me after, when Reeve realises he dumped an innocent girl for being disloyal, for a girl who doesn’t know the meaning of the word loyalty!’
And with that, Finn strode into the open parlour door, certain that Jade was too much of a coward to pursue her into a room full of spectators. Tears were slipping down her cheeks, her heart was pounding like she’d just run all the way from the Pen and her breath was coming in gasps, but she knew she’d done the right thing, so she squared her shoulders and returned the stares of the Enigmas, Potentials and beauticians within who turned to regard her with astonishment then.
Go on! Finn thought, as she stared daggers at Georgia’s clump of friends, who’d gathered in a far corner behind Madeline Rowles, who was the only one that dared acknowledge Finn’s dramatic entrance with a raised eyebrow. Say something- I dare you!
But no one said anything before they averted their eyes, and Mischa immediately rushed over to her, looking concerned. Finn hadn’t returned to school that week, so she had no idea how the Hive girls had dealt with the aftermath of her very public meltdown or even how they felt about her now… but none of them looked surprised to see her, which told Finn that they’d been given a head’s up to expect her. That was good, because it saved her having to explain that she’d been re-invited, but it was still stressful- not knowing where she stood with them, and not knowing if Mischa was rushing over to her because she was genuinely concerned for Finn, or because the king had ordered them to play nice to the suddenly volatile Potential!
‘What happened?’ Mischa glanced at the door, while Finn clutched her head that was aching now that the floral scent had been mixed with hairspray, not knowing what to make of the fact that Bonnie had shyly waved to her reflection in the mirror, or of the fact that Mila was the only one wearing her special ‘Bee’ shirt. ‘Did-’
‘Jade just tried saying that I don’t get what it’s like to be an outsider,’ Finn said quietly but acidly, nodding to Bonnie in the barest acknowledgement. She was through with trying to be Bonnie’s friend while her boyfriend was so dedicated to making Finn a public enemy, but if Bonnie could be civil after the way Finn had spoken to her, then Finn could return the favour. After all, there was a pretty wide line between being an insecure teenage girl, and an evil one, and even if it took her forever, Finn was determined to learn how to handle both types! ‘After accusing me of stealing Reeve from her.’
‘Ugh!’ Mischa winced. ‘Want me to go get her bounced or-’
‘No,’ Finn said, but then smiled thinly but gratefully at Mischa. ‘Thanks, but I handled it- I think.’ She swallowed hard at the idea of Jade crying on Reeve’s shoulder about the ‘unfair’ ultimatum that Finn had just given her, vilifying her further ‘Now I just want to get this over with. Do you know where I’m supposed to be or…?’
‘I saved you a seat by mine,’ Mischa said, leading her to the Hive side of the room. ‘Someone will be over to do this to you when they’re free.’ She motioned to the old-fashioned, bendy rollers in her hair and made a face. ‘Be warned, they’re doing it so tightly that Cara cried. Then again, she has a lot of hair so...’
Finn looked around. ‘Where is Cara?’
‘She’s helping Mimi get ready down in her suite,’ Mischa said, then leaned into whisper: ‘And she’s not too happy about it.’
Finn’s tummy cramped again. ‘Why?’
‘Long story. But let’s just say Mimi’s less of a blushing bride today, and more of a nervous wreck.’ She slid into her own chair and glanced at the beautician that was heading their way, murmuring: ‘And from what I’ve seen of our king this week, he’s almost as bad!’ She winked at Finn. ‘He doesn’t look quite as strung out as you do… but he’s close, and Mimi’s even worse.’
Finn moaned at her forlorn reflection, taking a moment to rub her tear tracks into her flushed skin. She was sorry that the royal couple were having a rough week instead of the magical one that they deserved, but as far as she was concerned, if she could make it through that week and still pull herself together in time for the wedding, then so could they!
*
It took two hours for Simone her beautician to make Finn look more like a living girl and less like the living dead, and as glamorous as she looked after, especially once she’d changed into the ice-blue bridesmaid dress with her white mules, she couldn’t help but glance Bonnie’s way, wishing for her symmetry or maybe just her height, because she looked better than the rest of them did combined due to the way the sheath dress they’d all been told to wear was hugging her every curve, giving the excess flesh she often complained about on her lower hips and backside a womanly silhouette while making Finn feel like a flower-girl in comparison. In fact, the only one of them that looked even half as glamorous as Bonnie did was Mischa, who was not only almost as tall as Bonnie, but incredibly skilled with a makeup brush too. Her lips were thinner than Bonnie’s and her blue eyes were hooded and on the small side, but she’d given herself a better make-up look than any of the others had managed to attain and now reminded Finn of the Disney version of Cinderella, with her pale skin, almost white-blonde hair and ice-blue eyes contrasted against all of the pale blue chiffon.
Finn definitely liked her own hair rolled up into a French-twist too and appreciated the fact that her stylist had gone to a lot of trouble to give it some volume because it made her look a little bit taller, but she’d used way too much make up to cover the bruises and scratches that still marked Finn’s face, which made Finn feel sort of unrecognisable to herself- like she was playing dress-ups in order to fit in with the big girls.
But today isn’t about me… Finn thought, smiling softly at Mischa in the mir
ror, as her stylist pinned a small cluster of baby’s breath blooms into her hair, completing her fresh, angelic and pure look. Finn’s own stylist had tucked some into Finn’s hair too, only she’d done it closer to her temple to distract from her stitches. It’s about me supporting Miriam!
‘Finn?’ a soft voice asked then, and Finn twisted in her seat when she saw Princess Abigail standing in the open doorway, looking nervous but stunning in a plain white dress with a tight-fitting bodice and a flared skirt with a blue sash around her waist. She wasn’t a bridesmaid that day because she’d worried about doing it without her deceased mother’s blessing, but she had agreed to be an usher. ‘Lady Miriam would like to see you, if that’s all right?’
Finn’s nervous stomach cramped again, but she rose from her chair and exchanged a dubious look with Mischa. ‘Um, right now?’
‘Yes please,’ Abigail whispered. Finn hadn’t brought anything with her but the purse that Gladdy had left behind (she’d told Finn and Sair to help themselves to whatever she’d been unable to take with them) so she picked that up with trembling fingers and followed the princess into the hall. She’d never spoken to the girl before- not in the nine months that they’d been attending the same school together, but she turned to her now nervously and asked:
‘Can I ask what’s going on?’
Abigail averted her eyes, then wiped away a tear with one finger, before picking up one of the small bouquets from the table by the door and pressing it into Finn’s hands. ‘She just… she needs to see you. Cara and I have both tried calming her down but, nothing’s working and she’s demanding….’ and then Abigail turned and rushed up the next flight of stairs, calling back: ‘Tell them I’ve gone to find dad to see if he can help, all right?’ before vanishing from sight.
Finn had been about to head back into the parlour to ask Mischa where Miriam’s room was because she’d never been into the more private, left wing of the castle before, but she heard it then- the faint sound of voices being raised in anger- so she followed that on instinct until it led her to a door at the other end of the corridor.
‘…Can’t believe you’re considering this!’ Cara’s throat sounded raw as Finn’s hand flew to cup her own. ‘What will we do if you leave him? Where would we live?’
‘We could live wherever we wanted and do whatever we please!’ Miriam shot back, her voice carrying into the hall thanks to the fact that the door was ajar. ‘I’m a Manifest- not only will that open doors, but it will create them!
‘What doors?’ Cara demanded, as everything inside Finn liquified in fear. Mimi wanted to leave them? It was unthinkable!
‘Everything we need is here!’
‘Then why am I so unhappy?’ Miriam sobbed, making Finn’s eyes water. ‘And why are you so angry all the time? So dissatisfied?!’
‘Because the world ended and took our parents with it!’ Cara cried. ‘Three quarters of the population is upset for the same reason!’
‘No, three quarters of the population are upset because they’re homeless or trying to raise kids they can’t feed, protect or educate…’ Miriam mumbled, more softly. ‘We have so much more than they do, and yet look at us- always needing more! Not just us, but Amory too!’
‘Misery is a global pandemic right now Mimi, and I find it hard to believe that anyone is immune to it, regardless of how much they have going for them!’ Cara sighed. ‘But even if I’m wrong, and there was a chance we could be happier elsewhere, what about our contracts? You’re stuck here for eight more years, and I’m-’
‘I never signed a contract, Cara- I refused to!’ Miriam shot back as Finn’s brows shot up in reflex to the pinprick of betrayal she felt in her heart then. ‘This is the twenty-first century and a new world for God’s sake: I’m no man’s property!’
‘Gee well that’s very progressive of you sis…’ Cara drawled. ‘Thing is though, you didn’t think to excuse ME from the whole contract thing so looks like I’m stuck being your future husband’s property whether he’s your future husband or not doesn’t it?’
‘Don’t try to act like you mind being stuck here!’ Miriam scoffed, as Finn wilted against the door jamb, mystified. On one hand, she felt for Mimi but on the other… where did she get off, acting like her privileged life was one that necessitated escaping? ‘You love it here, and you love the power that comes with having connections to me- always have! That’s why you’ve exploited them so much! And that’s why you’re terrified at the idea of me being a nobody now, isn’t it? Because you think that will make you a nobody too!’
‘I am a nobody without this Potential thing Mimi!’ Cara cried. ‘And I was always, always destined to be a nobody compared to you, no matter what I did! I hate living under your shadow and always have, and once upon a time, I prayed that you’d screw up big time, just to prove that you had at least one flaw!’ she made a scornful noise. ‘But I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let that happen now while our very survival hinges on your ability to lock Amory in!’
‘We can survive without Amory Laidlaw!’ Miriam snapped and Finn cringed when she turned and saw that two of Georgia’s friends had stuck their heads out of the parlour and were now staring that way. ‘And even if we couldn’t, how can you beg me to marry a king that I’ve fallen out of love with, just to make you a princess, hey? I thought you were a feminist!’
‘Hey!’ Finn burst through the door then slammed it hard behind her while waving her bouquet. ‘You guys… your voices are carrying right down the…’ but her voice faltered when she saw how stunning Miriam looked, with her hair curled into soft blonde ringlets, and her elaborate white-lace dress with a tightly fitted bodice and a skirt so full that it seemed to fill the room. ‘Oh! Miriam- you’re an angel!’
‘She doesn’t care who hears!’ Cara rasped. ‘Or how amazing she looks! How can she, when every single detail of her life isn’t absolutely perfect?!’
‘Oh! Finn...!’ Miriam waded her way across the room to her and clutched Finn’s wrists with soft hands that were ice-cold. Her makeup was flawless, but her pupils were dilated, there was sweat on her brow and she had dark circles under her eyes. ‘You have to tell me... Liam!’ she sobbed. ‘Did he really attack you? And did my king cover it up to protect his image?’
Finn’s mouth went dry. She’d assumed that Miriam already knew the answer to that, and it pained her to realise that she didn’t. ‘I…’ she shot a nervous look at Cara, but Cara was crying into her cupped hands and looking away. ‘Wh-what?’
‘You have to tell me!’ Miriam cried, jostling her. ‘Is my fiancé as corrupt as any dirty politician ever was? Have I saved myself for a man who lies to me? Have I built him a kingdom that’s already polluted with nepotism?!’
Finn stared back at the frazzled bride, clueless as to how to respond! She wanted to tell the truth, of course, but how could she do so if that meant scaring off the queen that the kingdom so desperately needed? ‘Miriam, p-please!’ Finn stammered, wishing that she could turn back time and get the old Mimi back- the one that had danced on the overlook, while wagging her engagement ring over the balcony! Yes, she’d had moments of late when she’d judged the Lady for acting shallow and squandering her magic on unnecessary things- but what good would having deeper thoughts do them, if they pushed her right off the deep end? ‘I don’t want to be dragged into this any more than I already have been!’ She cupped Miriam’s face. ‘But I do know that Amory loves you!’
Anguish contorted Miriam’s fingers as she stepped back, lowering her hands. ‘So... you think I should do it too, hmm?’ She shot her sister a lethal look. ‘To marry for power, instead of trying to manifest it for myself?’
‘How are you going to manifest anything that will hold up to this place and Amory’s Tutelary?!’ Cara growled, wiping away tears and smearing her eye make-up with it. ‘You manifested some flowers and shoes today and just that was enough to give you a nosebleed!’
‘Because he uses me up until I’m too drained to do anything else!’ Miriam cried
. ‘I was okay with that when I believed he was doing it for the greater good- but now that I see him using the power we’ve given him to get his brother off assault charges and then lying to me about it while foraging for more Potentials to drain-’
‘If he’s lied to you, it’s to protect you!’ Cara protested. ‘Finn’s right when he says he loves you, but more than that, he’s scared of you and of how fragile you seem now! Swallowing pills to sleep at night, asking Harbingers if they see you alive a year from now to the point that they take off, crying over the smallest things… you’re acting crazy!’
‘I’m crazy? I’m scary? What about you, huh?’ Mimi sniffled and turned back to face Finn while Finn reeled, stunned to hear that a Harbinger had ‘run off’. Had they discovered the truth about Maya somehow? Or had Paloney vanished the way Maya had prophesied she might? ‘Tell me, Finn… why is my sister so popular? Because she inspires you to want to be like her... or because you’re afraid of what she’ll do, if you don’t fall into line?’
‘Stop it!’ Cara snarled, striding over to her sister. ‘You-’
‘I read one of the diaries Finn, before Amory snatched it away like contraband!’ Mimi cried, holding her hands up to Cara as she backed up. ‘He said it was to respect your privacy, but the passage I was halfway through was explaining how Cara once shoved you onto a boy’s lap and commanded you to make out with him if you expected to be invited back to eat lunch with him the next day, which, as far as I’m concerned, is as bad as forcing herself on-’
‘STOP!’ Cara screamed, shoving her sister, while Finn cupped her mouth in horror again. She hadn’t forgotten about that day back in ninth, when Cara had forced her to hook up with one of Aaron’s friends Michael in order to be considered part of the group, but it sounded so much worse coming out of Miriam’s perfect mouth now, and Cara clearly thought so too because the mere mention of it had made her hysterical. ‘Right now! You-’
