Jake averted his face and battled the stinging sensation biting his eyes. Damn it. His mother didn’t deserve his tears. But in his mind he heard her voice begging for him to come to her. He stood at the foot of the tree, the mound blurring before his eyes.
What was left to say?
I’m sorry my father broke your heart, Mom. Sorry you couldn’t move past the pain to love me the way a mother should love her child. Sorry I never returned home before you died.
He sucked in a deep breath and tilted his face to the sky. Regrets—those would never disappear. But it was time to move on. Time to forgive—his mother, at least. No more worries, Mom. Rest in peace now.
Feeling as if a heavy weight had been lifted from his shoulders, he returned to Amanda and brushed a strand of hair from her eyes. He’d settled the past with his mother. But what about Preacher Winslow? What about Amanda? Would she forgive him when she found out the truth behind their past relationship? With deliberate concentration, he shoved the worries aside and focused on the crazy way Amanda made him feel.
“Do you remember the bet I made with you our senior year?”
A tiny line formed between her brows, then her mouth widened into a smile. “Something to do with teaching the preacher’s daughter how to drink.”
Jake laughed, suddenly very glad he’d garnered the courage to revisit Silver Cliff. “My turn to be the tutor. By the end of tomorrow night’s reunion mixer you’ll be the best tequila-shooter drinker west of the Rocky Mountains.”
“If I promise to be attentive during the tutoring session, will you take me to the fireworks tonight at Canyon Lake?”
Was she crazy? Of course he’d attend the fireworks with her…and maybe they’d even set off a few of their own.
Chapter Three
Thump. Thump. Thump, thump.
“Amanda Winslow, open up. I know you’re in there!”
“Hold on to your hat, Valerie,” Amanda grumbled, then almost fell headfirst down the stairs when she stepped on the hem of her long prairie skirt. “Where’s the fire?” she demanded after opening the front door.
“Nope, that’ll never do.” Valerie Trevechy stepped into the house, shut the door, took Amanda by the elbow and tugged her back up the stairs. “If you’re going out with Jake Turner, you’d better ditch the schoolmarm image or he’ll ride off into the sunset on that sexy Harley all by his lonesome.”
Outweighed by at least seventy pounds, Amanda had little choice but to allow her friend to drag her into the bedroom. “Who told you I was going to the fireworks with Jake?” she huffed, then collapsed on the end of the bed.
Valerie sent her a duh stare. “Thad said Jake showed up at the picnic this afternoon and chatted with you.” She crossed the room to Amanda’s closet. “And shame on you for not sharing that tidbit of news with your best friend.”
Guilty as charged. Amanda hadn’t wanted to confide that Jake had agreed to take her to Canyon Lake tonight. Not when a tiny part of her feared he might stand her up. “I didn’t tell anyone,” she insisted.
“You didn’t have to.” Valerie rolled her eyes. The woman ought to live in Hollywood where her acting skills might be more appreciated. “Everyone remembers you had a crush on Jake in high school. He shows up for the reunion—single—and of course people are going to assume you two will be attending the festivities together.”
“You didn’t go to high school in Silver Cliff. How do you know anything?” Amanda grumbled.
“I listen to gossip. And don’t assume folks have forgotten the KISS.”
“People are talking about the kiss he gave me at graduation?” Thank God no one found out about the almost-sex episode in her bedroom the night before. With her luck, one of her father’s former parishioners would phone her parents in Florida and alert them to Jake’s presence in town.
Valerie grinned. “The way I heard, the smooch was more like a wild, erotic exploration of your mouth in front of the whole town.”
Flinging her arms out to her sides, Amanda fell backward onto the bed. She’d been secretly thrilled that Jake had decided to attend the reunion, but everyone sticking their noses in her business spoiled some of the fun.
“Where’s he staying?” Valerie sank to her knees and rummaged through shoe boxes. “I phoned Julia and she claims he hasn’t checked into the Rosemary House or any of the other bed-and-breakfasts in the area. Sandy called the motels on the outskirts of town and he wasn’t registered at any of them.”
Amanda’s stomach sank. Maybe Jake had never intended to stay.
“Unless…” Valerie held up a pair of black boots. “He’s staying with you.”
“In my house?” Amanda gasped, hoping she’d put the right amount of outrage in her response to prevent her friend from guessing that she’d planned all along to offer Jake her guest bedroom.
“What’s wrong with him sleeping here?” Valerie argued. “You’ve got two bedrooms—not that one isn’t plenty.” She reached inside the closet and removed a short, above-the-knee black silky skirt. “Slinky, sexy and sure to rev his engine.”
“People will see the color of my underwear when we zip through town on his Harley.” Hence the prairie skirt and its ten yards of material.
“Poor sport.” Valerie exchanged the skirt for a pair of designer jeans.
“My butt looks too big in those,” Amanda whined.
“Listen, sweetie, you’re talking to a woman who understands a thing or two about butt size—mainly that it expands with childbirth. In my opinion, there ought to be a special place in hell for skinny women who complain that they’re fat. Your whole butt isn’t half the size of one of my cheeks.” She wiggled the hanger. “Besides, a man needs a little teasing now and then to keep him interested. You wear these and his hands will itch to make a grab for your fanny.”
Amanda imagined Jake’s big hands on her fanny and muttered, “Give ’em here.” She shimmied into the pair, then sucked in her stomach in order to zip them.
“Perfect. Now, where’s that sexy white blouse with all the ruffles? You wore it for the pirate-book day at the library.”
“Too fancy for jeans,” Amanda protested.
“C’mon, where is it?” Valerie attacked the dresser, opening and closing the drawers.
Disgusted with herself for not putting up a fight, Amanda retrieved the shirt from the closet, then slipped it on and studied her reflection in the mirror attached to the inside of the closet door. Hmm. Not bad.
“Now the boots. Jake’s taller than you, so he’ll appreciate the two-inch heels when you kiss.”
Blushing, Amanda grabbed the boots off the floor, shoved her feet into them and blurted, “No more. If he doesn’t like what he sees—”
“He likes what he sees just fine,” a deep voice echoed through the room.
Both females spun and gaped at Jake, lounging in the doorway. He shrugged. “I rang the bell.”
“The bell’s broken.” Both females spoke in unison.
“I heard arguing—”
“We were discussing Amanda’s wardrobe,” Valerie interrupted. “You must be Jake. I’m Thad’s wife, Valerie.”
Jake shook her hand. “Nice to meet you.”
“I was just leaving.” She winked at Amanda, then sauntered out of the room.
There ought to be a place in hell—preferably right next to the skinny women—for best friends who think they know it all.
Oh, my, Jake Turner stood in her bedroom. Images from the past—a different bedroom, a younger Jake—blurred before her eyes, landing her momentarily speechless.
“You look great, Amanda.” His gaze traveled the length of her body, then settled on the pink satin comforter behind her. “Ready?”
Amanda wondered if ready referred to leaving for the fireworks or jumping into bed with her.
*
IN JAKE’S MIND, Canyon Lake was one of the best-kept secrets in the entire state of Colorado and it was right in Silver Cliff’s own backyard. Located a short distance outsi
de of town, the lake was small compared with others in the area. But the beauty of the majestic rocky walls that surrounded three sides of the water hole made the picnic getaway a favorite for locals and tourists.
Jake slowed the Harley to a crawl and called over his shoulder, “The entire town is heading to the lake.” They’d been trailing several school buses that had been rented to transport class-reunion attendees to the fireworks. Add residents from neighboring communities and Jake suspected securing a patch of grass to sit on would be impossible.
When he turned at the entrance to the state park, he squeezed the handlebars and fought the tightening sensation in his chest. In high school he’d never attended any of the dances or athletic events. When Amanda had asked why, he’d confessed that he hated crowds. Spending tonight with hundreds of people wasn’t his idea of fun. But he was willing to ignore his discomfort to please Amanda.
No sense sitting shoulder to shoulder when there were plenty of out-of-the-way places to watch the fireworks. He pointed a few yards ahead of the bus in front of them. “Hang on. I’m taking the dirt path.” Amid several horn blasts, he swerved the bike off the road and onto the trail. They climbed in elevation, until the path dead-ended several hundred feet above the grassy banks of the lake. After parking the bike, he grabbed Amanda’s hand and strolled to the edge of the clearing. “Now, this is a view.”
“It’s beautiful,” Amanda agreed.
Jake slid an arm around her waist and pulled her near. A light breeze played with her hair, blowing several strands against his chest. He bent his head and nuzzled her neck. “You smell good.”
“Mmm.” She tilted her head, exposing more of her neck. He kissed the soft skin beneath her ear. Twenty years hadn’t changed his body’s reaction to Amanda. She challenged… excited…teased him.
Jake flashed a sexy grin and tilted her chin. He bent his head, pausing for a moment, allowing her a chance to refuse his kiss. She didn’t. The first touch of her mouth brought back memories of a sweet, inexperienced girl. The memories lasted only a moment, because Amanda’s kiss now wasn’t the tentative flirting of lips he remembered. Her tongue thrust boldly into his mouth, sweeping the inside before retreating. He wanted to reciprocate with his tongue, but she broke off the kiss and stepped back.
“I didn’t know librarians could kiss like that,” he teased.
“I had a good teacher.” She motioned to the lake. “The water is beautiful from up here.”
The sunset washed across the lake’s surface, transforming the water into a dance of sparkling light. One end of the lake appeared blue-black, the other light turquoise. From this elevation he couldn’t spot any trout, but the crowd gathering along the banks would be able to view the fish as far as twenty feet out and six feet deep.
“Let’s sit down.” They returned to the Harley and he removed the quilt from the storage compartment, and together they spread the blanket across the ground and sat.
“I have a confession to make,” she admitted.
“You mean this is where you tell me you’re involved with someone?” He meant it as a joke, but he held his breath, hoping he hadn’t guessed right.
“No.” She punched him playfully in the chest. “I remembered you didn’t like crowds, so I expected you to stand me up tonight.”
“You’re right. I’m not a people person.”
“Why?” she probed.
“After a while I got tired of the insults. As a kid, I could fight back. But in high school the fistfights didn’t go over well with Principal Mahoney. I figured out quickly that I was always the one punished when a fight broke out. Didn’t matter who threw the first punch, my butt landed in detention. So I avoided people. Avoided fighting.”
Stretching out on her side, she rested her chin in the palm of her hand and Jake had to force his gaze away from the front of her blouse, which stretched taut against her breasts. “Growing up in a small town was difficult for you, wasn’t it?” she stated.
“Yeah, life sucked. I didn’t have a dad or a big brother to defend me. And half the time my mom was too drunk to care what other people said about us. But looking back on those years now…things could have been worse.”
Amanda entwined her fingers with his and offered, “I’m sorry, Jake.”
That Amanda cared about his childhood consoled him. “What about you? Being the preacher’s daughter must have been rough.”
“You’re the only person who’s ever acknowledged that maybe my life wasn’t as sweet and heavenly as my parents portrayed it to be. Having a brother or sister to share the spotlight would have helped. Instead I alone bore the brunt of my parents’ undivided—and most of the time—unwanted attention.” Her heavy sigh tugged at Jake’s heart. “I was expected to be Miss Perfect—say the right thing, act the right way, reflect well on my father, be an extension of my mother.”
“I got the feeling your old man didn’t want me anywhere near you.” Jake watched Amanda’s face for a sign that she understood what her father had done to his mother. But her expression revealed nothing.
“No, he didn’t want me to tutor you. Threatened to ground me if I continued. I didn’t care.”
“So that’s the real reason you tutored me—to rebel against your father?”
“At first it was an act of rebellion. But…” Her gaze skittered away. “The more time we spent together, the more I wished to get to learn about the real Jake Turner.” She rolled onto her back and stared at the darkening sky. “And I suspected we had more in common than we realized.”
“How so?” He whisked a strand of hair from her cheek, his fingers lingering against her skin, making her heart hold its breath.
“We both wanted out of Silver Cliff.”
“How come I was the only one who blew off this place?” Jake challenged.
“I tried,” she protested with a weak smile. “After I graduated from college, I had a job offer at a high school in Littleton. I accepted the position, but then my mother suffered a series of strokes. My father needed help caring for her, and well—” she fluttered a hand in the air “—I landed a job as assistant librarian at the Silver Cliff Library. I thought my mother would recover and that the move home would be temporary. But temporary turned into sixteen years.”
Amanda was a better person than Jake. Her parent had required help and she’d been there. Although Jake’s mother had never put out a call for help, he believed deep in his gut that she’d needed him. But he’d stayed away because he’d intended for her to pay for his cruddy childhood. Too bad life didn’t come with do-overs. “You did what any dutiful daughter would. Besides, look at you now—head librarian. That’s impressive.”
“Don’t get me wrong. I love my job, but…” She sat up. “Enough about me. What about—”
“Not so fast. I’ve got one more question,” he cut in. “Why haven’t you ever married?”
She tucked her legs to the side. “How did you learn I never married?”
“No engagement announcement in the Jotter.”
“You have a subscription to the Silver Cliff Jotter?”
“Yes, ma’am.” He grinned.
“Jake Turner, you’ve been spying on me all these years?” Amanda wasn’t sure if she was flattered or offended that he’d kept track of her since high school.
“Guilty as charged.” He fingered the ruffle at the end of her shirtsleeve. “Was there someone special?”
“Sort of.”
The nerve along his jaw tightened—was he jealous of a man he’d never met? “Tell me about him,” Jake insisted.
“His name was David. We dated my junior year of college. He was an English major and had planned on becoming a teacher.”
“What happened?”
“I ended up pregnant.”
Jake expelled a harsh breath. “You’re a mother?”
She shook her head, and Jake ached for the pain glistening in her eyes. He sat up and tugged her near, wanting to offer comfort.
“I didn’t even
suspect I was pregnant when I snuck off on a ski trip with David. I collided with a tree on the slopes. Knocked myself silly. It wasn’t until I was in the ER that I began cramping and ended up miscarrying. My parents were notified, and of course they were shocked and disappointed. My father had words with David.”
“Guess David and I have something in common,” Jake muttered, then added when Amanda frowned, “We both found ways to piss off your old man.” David got you pregnant and I discovered your old man in bed with my mother.
“David broke up with me and transferred to a different school. Never heard from him again.”
“I’m sorry about the baby, Amanda.” He kissed her forehead.
“I always thought I’d make a good mother, but maybe it’s not meant to be.”
He lay back on the blanket, tuckingAmanda against his side.
“Did you ever marry?” she asked.
“No.”
“That’s it?” She ruffled his hair. “Spill your guts, Turner, or I’m out of here.”
He tightened his arms, daring her to wiggle free. “There were a couple of women in my past, but nothing serious.”
“You’re lying. A man as handsome as you…there had to have been one special lady.”
“Whenever things got serious, I cut loose.” He tilted her chin, forcing her to make eye contact. “At first, I believed my troubled relationship with my mom was the reason I couldn’t commit to a relationship.”
“That’s understandable.”
His gaze traveled over Amanda’s face. “After a few failed affairs, I realized I couldn’t give away something that wasn’t in my possession to begin with.”
“I don’t understand.”
Jake rolled Amanda to her back and rested his arms on either side of her. He traced her cheek with his fingertip. “Took me a while,” he whispered, “to figure out I’d never gotten over you.”
He held his breath, waiting for a signal to kiss her. He didn’t intend to just tell her that he hadn’t gotten over her—he wanted to show her.
A Baby On The Way Page 3
