CHAPTER XXV. BERLIN AFTER "JENA."
As the battle of Austerlitz was the deathblow to the empire of Austria,so with the defeat at Jena did Prussia fall, and that great kingdombecame a prey to the conquering Napoleon. Were this a fitting place,it might be curious to inquire into the causes which involved a ruin sosudden and so complete; and how a vast and highly organized army seemedat one fell stroke annihilated and destroyed.
The victories of Jena and Auerstadt, great and decisive as they were,were nevertheless inadequate to such results; and if the genius of theEmperor had not been as prompt to follow up as to gain a battle, theynever would have occurred. But scarcely had the terrible contest ceased,when he sent for the Saxon officers who were taken prisoners, andaddressing them in a tone of kindness, declared at once that they wereat liberty and might return to their homes, first pledging their wordsnot to carry arms against France or her allies. One hundred and twentyofficers of different grades, from lieutenant-general downwards, gavethis promise and retired to their own country, extolling the generosityof Napoleon. This first step was soon followed up by another and moreimportant one; negotiations were opened with the Elector of Saxony,and the title of king offered to him on condition of his joining theConfederacy of the Rhine; and thus once more the artful policy alreadypursued with regard to Bavaria in the south, was here renewed in thenorth of Germany, and with equal success.
This deep-laid scheme deprived the Prussian army of eighteen thousandmen, and that on the very moment when defeat and disaster had spreadtheir demoralizing influences through the entire army. Several of theirgreatest generals were killed, many more dreadfully or fatally wounded:Prince Louis, Ruchel, Schmettau, among the former; the Duke of Brunswickand Prince Henry both severely wounded. The Duke survived but a fewdays, and these in the greatest suffering; Marshal Moellendorf, theveteran of nigh eighty years, had his chest pierced by a lance. Here wasmisfortune enough to cause dismay and despair; for unhappily the nationitself was but an army in feeling and organization, and with defeatevery hope died out and every arm was paralyzed. The patriotism of thepeople had taken its place beneath a standard, which when once loweredbefore a conqueror, nothing more remained. Such is the destiny of amilitary monarchy: its only vitality is victory; the hour of disaster isits deathblow.
The system of a whole corps capitulating, which the Prussians had notscrupled to sneer at when occurring in Austria, now took place here witheven greater rapidity. Scarcely a day passed that some regiment did notlay down their arms, and surrender _sur parole_. A panic spread throughthe whole length and breadth of the land; places of undoubted strengthwere surrendered as insecure and untenable. No rest nor respite wasallowed the vanquished: the gay plumes of the lancers fluttered over thevast plains in pursuit; columns of infantry poured in every directionthrough the kingdom; and the eagles glittered in every town and everyvillage of conquered Prussia.
Never did the spirit of Napoleon display itself more pitiless than inthis campaign; for while in his every act he evinced a determination tobreak down and destroy the nation, the "Moniteur" at Paris teemed witharticles in derision of the army whose bravery he should never havequestioned. Even the gallant leaders themselves--old and scarredwarriors--were contemptuously described as blind and infatuatedfanatics, undeserving of clemency or consideration. Not thus should hehave spoken of the noble Prince Louis and the brave Duke of Brunswick;they fought in a good cause, and they met the death of gallant soldiers."I will make their nobles beg their bread upon the highways!" wasthe dreadful sentence he uttered at Weimar. And the words were neverforgotten.
The conduct and bearing of the Emperor was the more insulting from itscontrast with that of his marshals and generals, many of whom could nothelp acknowledging in their acts the devotion and patriotism of theirvanquished foes. Murat lost no occasion to evince this feeling; andsent eight colonels of his own division to carry the pall at GeneralSchmettau's funeral, who was interred with all the honors due to one whohad been the companion of the Great Frederick himself.
Soult, Bernadotte, Augereau, Ney, and Davoust, with the several corpsunder their command, pursued the routed forces with untiring hostility.In vain did the King of Prussia address a supplicating letter asking fora suspension of arms. Napoleon scarcely deigned a reply, and ordered theadvanced guard to march on Berlin.
But a year before and he had issued his royal mandates from the palaceof the Caesars; and he burned now to date his bulletins from the palaceof the Great Frederick. And on the tenth day after the battle of Jenathe troops of Lannes's division bivouacked in the plain around Potsdam.I had joined my brigade the day previous, and entered Berlin with themon the morning of the 23d of October.
The preparations for a triumphal entry were made on the day before; andby noon the troops approached the capital in all the splendor of fullequipment. First came the grenadiers of Oudinot's brigade,--one ofthe finest corps in the French army; their bright yellow facingsand shoulder-knots had given them the _sobriquet_ of the _Grenadiersjaunes_: they formed part of Davonst's force at Auerstadt, and wereopposed to the Prussian guard in the greatest shock of the entire day.After them came two battalions of the _Chasseurs a pied_,--a splendidbody of infantry, the remnant of four thousand who went into battleon the morning of the 15th. Then followed a brigade of artillery,each gun-carriage surmounted by a Prussian standard. These again weresucceeded by the red lancers of Berg, with Murat himself at theirhead; for they were his own regiment, and he felt justly proud of suchfollowers: the grand duke was in all the splendor of his full dress, andwore a Spanish hat, looped up, with an immense brilliant in front, anda plume of ostrich feathers floated over his neck and shoulders. Twohundred and forty chosen men of the Imperial Guard marched two andtwo after these, each carrying a color taken from the enemy in battle.Nansouty's cuirassiers came next; they had suffered severely at Jena,and were obliged to muster several of their wounded men to fill up thegaps in their squadrons. Then there were the horse artillery brigade,whose uniforms and equipments, notwithstanding every effort toconceal it, showed the terrible effects of the great battle. Generald'Auvergne's division, with the hussars and the light cavalry attached,followed. These were succeeded by the voltigeurs, and eight battalionsof the Imperial Guard,--whose ranks were closed up with the _Grenadiersa cheval_, and more artillery,--in all, a force of eighteen thousand,the _elite_ of the French army.
Advancing in orderly time, they came,--no sound heard save the dullreverberation of the earth as it trembled beneath the columns, whenthe hoarse challenge to "halt" was called from rank to rank as often asthose in the rear pressed on the leading files; but as they reached theBrandenburg gate, the band of each regiment burst forth, and the widePlatz resounded with the clang of martial music.
In front of the palace stood the Emperor, surrounded by his staff, whichwas joined in succession by each general of brigade as his corps movedby. A simple acknowledgment of the military salute was all Napoleon gaveas each battalion passed,--until the small party of the Imperial Guardappeared, bearing the captured colors. Then his proud features relaxed,his eye flashed and sparkled, and he lifted his chapeau straight abovehis head, and remained uncovered the whole time they were marching past.This was the moment when enthusiasm could no longer be restrained, and acry of "Vive l'Empereur!" burst forth, that, caught up by those behind,rose in ten thousand echoes along the distant suburbs of Berlin.
To look upon that glorious and glittering band, bronzed with battle,their proud faces lit up with all the pride of victory, was indeed atriumph; and one instinctively turned to see the looks of wonderingand admiration such a sight must have inspired. But with what sense ofsadness came the sudden thought: this is the proud exultation of theconqueror over the conquered; here come no happy faces and bright looksto welcome those who have rescued them from slavery; here are no voicescalling welcome to the deliverer. No: it was a people crushed andtrodden down; their hard-won laurels tarnished and dishonored; theircountry enslaved; their monarch a wanderer, no one knew where. L
ittlethought they who raised the statue of brass to the memory of the GreatFrederick, that the clank of French musketry would be heard around it.Rossbach was, indeed, avenged,--and cruelly avenged.
Never did a people behave with more dignity under misfortune than thePrussians on the entrance of the French into their capital. The streetswere deserted; the houses closed; the city was in mourning; andnone stooped to the slavish adulation which might win favor with theconqueror. It was a triumph; but there were none to witness it. Of thenobles, scarce one remained in Berlin. They had fallen in battle, orfollowed the fortunes of their beaten army, now scattered and dispersedthrough the kingdom. Their wives and daughters, in deepest mourning,bewailed their ruined country as they would the death of a dearestfriend. They cut off their blonde locks, and sorrowed like those withouta hope. Their great country was to be reduced to the rank of a mereGerman province; their army disbanded; their king dethroned. Suchwas the contrast to our hour of triumph; such the sad reverse to thegorgeous display of our armed squadrons.
Scarcely had the Emperor established his headquarters at Potsdam thanthe whole administration of the kingdom was begun to be placed underFrench rule. Prefects were appointed to different departments of thekingdom; a heavy contribution was imposed upon the nation; and all theoffices of the state were subjected to the control of persons named bythe Emperor.
Among these, the first in importance was the post-office; for, whileevery precaution was taken that no interruption should occur in thetransmission of the mails as usual, a _cabinet noir_ was establishedhere, as at Paris, whose function it was to open the letters ofsuspected persons, and make copies of them; the latter, indeed, wereoften so skilfully executed as to be forwarded to the address, while theoriginals were preserved as "proofs" against parties, if it were foundnecessary to accuse them afterwards. (And here I might mention that theart of depositing metals in a mould by galvanic process was known andused in imitating and fabricating the seals of various writers, manyyears before the discovery became generally known in Europe.)
The invasion of private right involved in this breach of trust gave, asmight be supposed, the greatest offence throughout the kingdom. But theseverity with which every case of suspicious meaning was followed up andpunished converted the feelings of indignation and anger into those offear and trepidation. For this was ever part of Napoleon's policy: thepenalty of any offence was made to exclude the sense of ridicule itsown littleness might have created, and men felt indisposed to jest wheretheir mirth might end in melancholy.
The most remarkable case, and that which more than any other impressedthe public mind of the period, was that of the Prince de Hatzfeld, whoseletter to the King of Prussia was opened at the post-office, and madethe subject of a capital charge against him. Its contents were, asmight be imagined from the channel of transmission, not such as couldsubstantiate any treasonable intention on his part. A respectful homageto his dethroned sovereign; a detail of the mournful feeling experiencedthroughout his capital; and some few particulars of the localitiesoccupied by the French troops, was the entire. And for this he was triedand condemned to death,--a sentence which the Emperor commanded to beexecuted before sunset that same day. Happily for the fate of the nobleprince, as for the fair fame of Napoleon, both Duroc and Rapp wereardently attached to him, and at their earnest entreaties his life wasspared. But the impression which the circumstances made upon the mindsof the inhabitants was deep and lasting; and there was a day to comewhen all these insults were to be remembered and avenged. If I advertto the occurrence here, it is because I have but too good reason to bearmemory of it, influencing, as it did, my own future fortunes.
It chanced that one evening, when sitting in a cafe with some of mybrother officers, the subject of the Prince de Hatzfeld's offencewas mooted; and in the unguarded freedom with which one talks to hiscomrades, I expressed myself delighted at the clemency of the Emperor,and conceived that he could have no part in the breach of confidencewhich led to the accusation, nor countenance in any way his prosecution.My companions, who had little sympathy for Prussians, and none foraristocracy whatever, took a different view of the matter, and scruplednot to regret that the sentence of the court-martial had not beenexecuted. The discussion grew warm between us; the more, as I wasalone in my opinion, and assailed by several who overbore me with loudspeaking. Once or twice, too, an obscure taunt was thrown out againstaliens and foreigners, who, it was alleged, never could at heart forgivethe ascendency of France and Frenchmen.
To this I replied hotly, for while not taking to myself an insult whichmy conduct in the service palpably refuted, I was hurt and offended.Alas! I knew too well in my heart what sacrifices I had made in changingmy country; how I had bartered all the hopes which attach to one'sfatherland for a career of mere selfish ambition. Long since had Iseen that the cause I fought in was not that of liberty, but despotism.Napoleon's glory was the dazzling light which blinded my true vision;and my following had something of infatuation, against which reason waspowerless. I say that I answered these taunts with hasty temper; andcarried away by a momentary excitement, I told them, that they it was,not I, who would detract from the fair renown of the Emperor.
"The traits you would attribute to him," said I, "are not those ofstrength, but weakness. Is it the conqueror of Egypt, of Austria, andnow of Prussia, who need stoop to this? We cannot be judges of hispolicy, or the great events which agitate Europe. We would pronouncemost ignorantly on the greatness of his plans regarding the destinies ofnations; but, on a mere question of high and honorable feeling, of manlyhonesty, why should we not speak? And here I say this act was neverhis."
A smile of sardonic meaning was the only reply this speech met with; andone by one the officers rose and dropped off, leaving me to ponder overthe discussion, in which I now remembered I had been betrayed into awarmth beyond discretion.
This took place early in November; and as it was not referred to in anyway afterwards by my comrades, I soon forgot it. My duties occupied mefrom morning till night; for General d'Auvergne, being in attendance onthe Emperor, had handed me over for the time to the department of theadjutant-general of the army, where my knowledge of German was founduseful.
On the 17th of the month a general order was issued, containing thenames of the various officers selected for promotion, as well as ofthose on whom the cross of the "Legion" was to be conferred. Need I saywith what a thrill of exultation I read my own name among the latter,nor my delight at finding it followed by the words, "By order of hisMajesty the Emperor, for a special service on the 13th October, 1806."This was the night before the battle; and now I saw that I had not beenforgotten, as I feared,--here was proof of the Emperor's remembrance ofme. Perhaps the delay was intended to test my prudence as to secrecy;and perhaps it was deemed fitting that my name should not appear exceptin the general list: in any case, the long-wished reward was mine,--theproud distinction I had desired for so many a day and night.
The distribution of the "cordons" was always made the occasion of agrand military spectacle, and the Emperor determined that the presentone should convey a powerful impression of the effective strength of hisarmy, as well as of its perfect equipment; and accordingly orderswere despatched to the different generals of division within twelve orfifteen leagues of Berlin, to march their corps to the capital. The 28thof November was the day fixed for this grand display, and all was bustleand preparation for the event.
On the morning of the 22d, I received an official note from the bureauof the adjutant-general desiring me to wait on him before noon that sameday. Concluding it referred to my promised promotion to the "Legion," itwas with somewhat of a fluttered and excited feeling I found myself, atsome few minutes after eleven o'clock, in the antechamber, which alreadywas crowded with officers, some seeking, some summoned to an interview.
In the midst of the buzz of conversation, which, despite the reserveof the place, still prevailed, I heard my name called, and followedan aide-de-camp along a passage into a large room, which ope
ned intoa smaller apartment, where, standing with his back to the fire, Iperceived Marshal Berthier, his only companion being an officer in astaff uniform, busily engaged writing at a table.
"You are Captain Burke, of the Eighth Hussars, I believe, sir?" said themarshal, reading slowly from a slip of paper he held twisted round onefinger.
"Yes, sir."
"By birth an Irishman," continued the marshal; "entered at thePolytechnique in August, 1801. Am I correct?" I bowed. "Subsequentlyaccused of being concerned in the conspiracy of Georges and Pichegru,"resumed he, as he raised his eyes slightly from the paper, and fixedthem searchingly upon me.
"Falsely so, sir," was my only reply.
"You were acquitted,--that's enough: a reprimand for imprudence, anda slight punishment of arrest, was all. Since that time, you haveconducted yourself, as the report of your commanding officer attests,with zeal and steadiness."
He paused here, and seemed as if he expected me to say something; butas I thought the whole a most strange commencement to the ceremony ofinvesting me with a cross of the Legion, I remained silent.
"At Paris, when attached to the _elite_, you appear to have visited theDuchess of Montserrat, and frequented her soirees."
"Once, sir; but once I was in the house of the duchess. My visitcould scarcely have occupied as many minutes as I have spent here thismorning."
"Dined occasionally at the 'Moisson d'Or," continued the marshal, notnoticing in any way my reply. "Well, as I believe you are now aware thatthere are no secrets with his Majesty's Government, perhaps you willinform me what are your relations with the Chevalier Duchesne?"
For some minutes previous my mind was dwelling on that personage; andI answered the question in a few words, by stating the origin of ouracquaintance, and briefly adverting to its course.
"You correspond with the chevalier?" said he, interrupting.
"I have never done so; nor is it likely, from the manner in which weparted last, that I ever shall."
"This scarcely confirms that impression, sir," said the marshal, takingan open letter from the table and holding it up before me. "You know hishandwriting; is that it?"
"Yes; I have no doubt it is."
"Well, sir, that letter belongs to you; you may take and read it.There is enough there, sir, to make your conduct the matter of acourt-martial; but I am satisfied that a warning will be sufficient.Let this be such then. Learn, sir, that the plottings of a poor andmischievous party harmonize ill with the duties of a brave soldier; andthat a captain of the Guards might choose more suitable associates thanthe dupes and double-dealers of the Faubourg St. Germain. There is yourbrevet to the 'Legion,' signed by the Emperor. I shall return it tohis Majesty; mayhap at some future period your conduct may meritdifferently. I need hardly say that a gentleman so very littleparticular in the choice of his friends would be a most misplacedsubject for the honor of the 'Legion.'"
He waved his hand in sign for me to withdraw, and overwhelmed withconfusion, I bowed and left the room. Nor was it till the door closedbehind me that I felt how cruelly and unjustly I had been treated; thensuddenly the blood rushed to my face and temples, my head seemed asif it would burst at either side, and forgetting every circumstance ofplace and condition, I seized the handle of the door and wrenched itopen.
"Marshal," said I, with the fearlessness of one resolved at any risk tovindicate his character, "I know nothing of this letter; I have notread one line of it. I have no further intimacy with the writer than anofficer has with his comrade; but if I am to be the subject of espionageto the police,--if my chance acquaintances in the world are to be matterof charges against my fealty and honor,--if I, who have nothing but mysword and my epaulette--"
When I had got thus far I saw the marshal's face turn deadly pale, whilethe officer at the table made a hurried sign to me with his finger to besilent. The door closed nearly at the same instant, and I turned my headround, and there stood the Emperor. The figure is still before me;he was standing still, his hands behind his back, and his low chapeaudeeply pressed upon his brows. His gray frock was open, and looked as ifdisordered from haste.
"What is this?" said he, in that hissing tone he always assumed when inmoments of passion,--"what is this? Are we in the bureau of a minister?or is it the _salle de police?_ Who are you, sir?"
It was not until the question had been repeated that I found courage toreply. But he waited not for my answer, as, snatching the open letterfrom my fingers, he resumed,--
"It is not thus, sir, you should come here. Your petition or memorial--Ha! _parbleu!_ what is this?"
At the instant his eyes fell upon the writing, and as suddenly his facegrew almost livid. With the rapidity of lightning he seemed to perusethe lines. Then waving his hand, he motioned towards the door, andmuttered,--"Wait without!"
Like one awaking from a dreadful dream, I stood, endeavoring to recallmy faculties, and assure myself how much there might be of reality inmy wandering fancies, when I perceived that a portion of the letterremained between my fingers as the Emperor snatched it from my hand.
A half-finished sentence was all I could make out; but its tone made metremble for what the rest of the epistle might contain:--
"Surpassed themselves, of course, my dear Burke; and so has the Emperortoo. It remained for the campaign in Prussia to prove that one hundredand eighty-five thousand prisoners can be taken from an army numberingone hundred and fifty-four thousand men. As to Davoust, who really hadall the fighting, though he wrote no bulletin, all Paris feels--"
Such was the morsel I had saved; such a specimen of the insolence of theentire.
The dreadful fact then broke suddenly upon me that this letter had beenwritten by Duchesne to effect my ruin; and as I stood stupefied withterror, the door was suddenly opened, and the Emperor passed, out.His eyes were turned on me as he went, and I shrank back from theirexpression of withering anger.
"Captain Burke!" said a voice from within the room, for the doorcontinued open.
I entered slowly, but with a firm step. My mind was made up; and in theforce of a resolute determination, I found strength for whatever mighthappen.
"It would appear, sir," said the marshal, addressing me with a stern andsevere expression of features, "it would appear that you permit yourselfthe widest liberty in canvassing the acts of his Majesty the Emperor;for I find you here mentioned "--he took a paper from the table as hespoke--"as declaiming, in a public cafe, on the subject of the Prince deHatzfeld, and expressing, in no measured terms, your disapproval of hisimprisonment."
"All that I said upon the subject, sir, so far as I can recollect, wasin praise of the Emperor for clemency so well bestowed."
"There was no high-flown sentiment on the breach of honorable confidenceeffected in opening private letters?" said the marshal, sarcastically.
"Yes, sir; I do remember expressing myself strongly on that head."
"I am not surprised, sir," interrupted he, "at your indignation; yourown conscience must have prompted you on the occasion. When a gentlemanhas such correspondents as the Chevalier Duchesne, he may well feel ona point like this. But enough of this. I have his Majesty's ordersregarding you, which are as follows--"
"Forgive me, I beg you, sir, the liberty of interrupting you for onemoment. I am an alien, and therefore little versed in the habits andusages of the land for whose service I have shed my blood; but I am surea marshal of France will not refuse a kindness to an officer of thearmy, however humble his station. I merely ask the answer to onequestion."
"What is it?" said the marshal, quickly.
"Am I, as an officer, at liberty to resign my grade, and quit theservice?"
"Yes, _parbleu!_" said he, reddening, "yes, that you are."
"Then here I do so," rejoined I, drawing my sword from its scabbard."The career I can no longer follow honorably and independently, I shallfollow no more."
"Your corps, sir?" said the marshal.
"The Eighth Hussars of the Guard."
"Take a n
ote of that, Gardanne. I shall spare you all unnecessary delayin tendering a written resignation of your rank; I accept it now. Youleave Berlin in twenty-four hours."
I bowed, and was silent.
"Your passport shall be made out for Paris; you shall receive itto-morrow morning." He motioned with his hand towards the door as heconcluded, and I left the room.
The moment I felt myself alone, the courage which had sustained methroughout at once gave way, and I leaned against the wall, and coveredmy face with my hands. Yes, I knew it in my heart,--the whole dream oflife was over; the path of glory was closed to me forever; all the hopeson which, in sanguine hours, I used to feed my heart, were scattered.And to the miseries of my exiled lot were now added the sorrows of anunfriended, companionless existence. The thought that no career was opento me came last; for at first I only remembered all I was leaving, notthe dark future before me. Yet, when I called to mind the injustice withwhich I had been treated,--the system of espionage to which, as an alienmore particularly, I was exposed,--I felt I had done right, and thatto have remained in the service at such a sacrifice of my personalindependence would have been base and unworthy.
With a half-broken heart and faltering step I regained my quarters,where again my grief burst forth with more violence than at first.Every object about recalled to me the career I was leaving forever; andwherever my eye rested, some emblem lay to open fresh stores of sorrow.The pistols I carried at Elchingen, a gift from General d'Auvergne;an Austrian sabre I had taken from its owner, still ornamented with alittle knot of ribbon Minette had fastened to the hilt,--hung above thechimney; and I could scarce look on them without tears. On the tablestill lay open the _ordre du jour_ which named me to the Legion ofHonor; and now the humblest soldier that carried his musket in the rankswas my superior. Not all the principle on which I founded my resolve wasproof against this first outburst of my sorrow.
The chivalrous ardor of a soldier's life had long supplied to me theplace of those appliances to happiness which other men possess. Each dayI followed it the path grew dearer to me. Every bold and daring feat,every deed of enterprise or danger, seemed to bring me, in thought atleast, nearer to him whose greatness was my idolatry. And now, all thiswas to be as a mere dream,--a thing which had been, and was to be nomore.
While I revolved such sad reflections, a single knock came to my door.I opened it, and saw a soldier of my own regiment. His dress wastravel-stained and splashed, and he looked like one off a long journey.He knew me at once, and accosted me by name, as he presented a letterfrom General d'Auvergne.
"You've had a smart ride," said I, as I surveyed his flushed face anddisordered uniform.
"Yes, Captain,--from the Oder. Our division is full twelve leagues fromthis. I left on yesterday morning; for the general was particular thatthe charger should not suffer on the way,--as if a beast like that wouldmind double the distance."
By this time I had opened the letter, which merely contained thefollowing few lines:--
Encampment on the Oder, Nov. 21, 1806.
My dear Burke,--Every new arrival here has brought me some fresh intelligence of you, and of your conduct at Jena; nor can I say with what pride I have heard that the Emperor has included you among the list of the _decores_. This is the day I often prophesied for you, and the true and only refutation against the calumnies of the false-hearted and the envious. I send you a Polish charger for your gala review. Accept him from me; and believe that you have no warmer friend, nor more affectionate, than yours,
D'Auvergne, Lieut-General.
Before I had finished reading the letter, my eyes grew so dimmed Icould scarcely trace the letters. Each word of kindness, every token ofpraise, now cut me to the heart. How agonizing are the congratulationsof friends on those events in life where our own conscience bearsreproach against us! how poignant the self-accusation that is elicitedby undeserved eulogy! How would _he_ think of my conduct? By what meansshould I convince _him_ that no alternative remained to me? I turnedaway, lest the honest soldier should witness my trouble; and as Iapproached the window, I beheld in the courtyard beneath the beautifulcharger which, with the full trappings of a hussar saddle, stood proudlyflapping his deep flanks with his long silken tail. With what a thrillI surveyed him! How my heart leaped, as I fancied myself borne along onthe full tide of battle, each plunge he gave responsive to the stroke ofmy sword-arm! For an instant I forgot all that had happened, and gazedon his magnificent crest and splendid shape with an ecstasy of delight.
"Ay," said the dragoon, whose eyes were riveted in the same quarter,"there's not a marshal of France so well mounted; and he knows thetrumpet-call like the oldest soldier of the troop."
"You will return to-morrow," said I, recovering myself suddenly, andendeavoring to appear composed and at ease. "Well, then, to-night Ishall give you an answer for the general; be here at eight o'clock."
I saw that my troubled air and broken voice had not escaped thesoldier's notice, and was glad when the door closed, and I was againalone.
My first care was to write to the general; nor was it till after manyefforts I succeeded to my satisfaction in conveying, in a few and simplewords, the reasons of that step which must imbitter my future life. Iexplained how deeply continued mistrust had wounded me; how my spirit,as a soldier and a gentleman, revolted at the espionage established overmy actions; that it was in weighing these insults against the wreck ofall my hopes, I had chosen that path which had neither fame nor rank norhonor, but still left me an untrammelled spirit and a mind at peace withitself. "I have now," said I, "to begin the world anew, without one clewto guide me. Every illusion with which I had invested life has left me;I must choose both a career and a country, and bear with me from thisnothing but the heartfelt gratitude I shall ever retain for one whobefriended me through weal and woe, and whose memory I shall bless whileI live."
I felt relieved and more at ease when I finished this letter; theendeavor to set my conduct in its true light to another had also itseffect upon my own convictions. I knew, besides, that I had sacrificedto my determination all my worldly prospects, and believed that whereself-interest warred with principle, the right course could scarcely bedoubtful.
All this time, not one thought ever occurred to me of how I was to meetthe future. It was strange; but so perfectly had the present crisisfilled my mind, there was not room for even a glance at what was tocome.
My passport was made out for Paris, and thither I must go. So much wasdecided for me without intervention on my part; and now it only remainedfor me to dispose of the little trappings of my former estate, and takethe road.
The Jews who always accompanied the army, offered a speedy resource inthis emergency. My anxiety to leave Berlin by daybreak, and thus avoida meeting of any acquaintances there, made me accept of the sums theyoffered. To them such negotiations were of daily occurrence, and theywell knew how to profit by them. My whole worldly wealth consisted oftwo hundred napoleons; and with this small pittance to begin life, I satmyself down to think whither I should turn, or what course adopt.
The night passed over thus, and when day dawned, I had not closed myeyes. About four o'clock the diligence in which I had secured a placefor Weimar drew up at my door. I hurried down, and mounting to a seatbeside the _conducteur_, I buried my face in the folds of my cloak, nordared to look up until we had passed beyond the precincts of the city,and were travelling along on the vast plain of sand which surroundsBerlin.
The _conducteur_ was a Prussian, and divining my military capacity in myappearance, he maintained a cold and distant civility; never speaking,except when spoken to, and even then in as few words as possible. Thiswas itself a relief to me; my heart was too full of its own sufferingsto find pleasure in conversation, and I dreamed away the hours tillnightfall.
Tom Burke Of Ours, Volume II Page 25
