by B. B. Blaque
I spun her around on the sand and pushed the almost-dress up to her shoulders. Then she surprised me and tried to crawl away across the beach. I pounced on her back and pushed in between her shoulder blades. My knees pried her legs apart as I undid my belt and she started rantin’ again. I need to fuck this feelin’ outta me.
“Ooo, look how pissed off you are! Meow! I like it!” She was pushin’ me in every way she could as she cackled under me. “I can’t wait to have that big . . . heavy . . . cock in me. I hope it hurts too. You know how I like that, Daddy.”
My jeans were already sittin’ low and I put all my weight on her and slammed in hard. It wasn’t an animalistic sex kind of hard, it was angry, violent, I need to cause you pain kind of hard.
“I could give a fuck!” I pulled back and rammed in again.
Don’t mark her.
“You are an investment!” Thrust. Slam. Damn!
I felt her lifting that ass to meet my thrusts, pinned her harder, and kept slammin’ into the wet pussy. I loved hurtin’ her as much as that crazy bitch loved me doin’ it.
“Girl, you’re dollar signs in expensive boots that I bought you. The only reason I didn’t pound your face all over this beach is because I’d lose money!”
I couldn’t do it. Why?
Nixx is not Vicious.
“When I’m done tearin’ you up, I might let Heavy take a shot.” I contemplated makin’ her sweat that shit out. She wanted it so bad and didn’t deserve an inch. “Or I could let everyone else fuck you while he watches!”
She was squealin’ and pantin’ like the eager little puppy she was.
I gotta fuck this out.
She is not my ol’ lady.
I don’t give a fuck.
The nastier I was, the more she responded. She needed to be kept in a nice, tight, little box. The more room she had to run, the worse she was. Girl takes the whole “give her an inch” thing too far. When I picked up speed, she started to yell through gritted teeth, “You did this to me, FOCUS! Now you’ve got seller’s remorse . . . you fuckin’ love me and you know it!”
That pushed a button and I got angrier, poundin’ harder, deeper, and like if I did it hard enough, I’d fuck all her words outta my head.
“I love sellin’ you, bitch! I love the money you bring in!”
She was gettin’ ready to come because she started repeatin’ the same damn thing. It was what was pushin’ her over the edge.
“You’re jealous ‘cause you love me. You’re jealous ‘cause you love me. Jealous ‘cause you love me. You love. You love me. You’re jealous ‘cause you love me, FOCUS!”
I felt her floodin’ my cock and pulsing. That always made me find more power somewhere in reserve and I went from violent, to brutal, to hateful.
“Natural born whore. My fuckin’ whore! I will never love you. I will never care.” I hit it hard a couple more times and just as I pulled out to come, I grunted, “Bitch, your pussy isn’t that fuckin’ good.”
I stood, zipped my jeans, and stepped away as I buckled my belt.
“Get your ass back to the room, clean up, and that pussy better be clean enough to feed your mama off of. Mark my words, you are gonna think of me when his dick is in you.”
She was still lying on the beach when I walked away and went back to the party. Thirty minutes later, she was in the suite gettin’ pummeled by Heavy as everyone at the party watched.
She’s gonna be a star.
Rotten to the Core.
BAD GIRLFRIEND
I woke up before all of them and that’s not easy because FOCUS is usually still on Marine time. I just needed to get away from the bullshit and pull my head together. I sure as hell couldn’t do that sittin’ in the dark with the three of ‘em snoring.
Don’t go too far. Kickstands up is kickstands up. You’ll get your ass left behind.
Between the party, drinkin’, and sex, it was blurry. I had no idea what time they said we’d be hittin’ the road. I was stuck and decided to make coffee and go sit in the shower. At least they’d have to pee. I couldn’t miss ‘em.
I grabbed my phone, shut the bathroom door quietly, and started the coffee. My brain was just so messed up. FOCUS makes me crazy. He was like a bunch of mixed signals goin’ every direction and I didn’t know which end was up. For a long time I thought there was really gonna be somethin’ more between us, even fooled myself after I was doin’ the dirty deeds for the Bastards. He’d told me over and over that I was never gonna be his ol’ lady, but there was always the tiniest piece of me that held out hope.
Luke didn’t want anything to do with me.
FOCUS keeps me around and feeds into it.
Where’s the middle ground?
Men are so fuckin’ weird. He got me to go to Atlantic City to get fucked by Heavy—his own words—“one fuckin’ reason and one fuckin’ reason only!” Then he got mad when I wanna do what he told me to do in the first place. I don’t get it. I don’t get him.
I turned on the shower and stood under the water so I’d have somewhere to cry. When was the last time I let myself do that? Suds were multiplyin’ on my head as I washed my hair and let the soap get in my eyes on purpose. I’d be damned if I let any of ‘em think they saw me cry. Shampoo would help explain all that shit away. I doubt they’d care. At one point, I thought maybe Crucifix would. That went out the window. When I noticed the grit of the sand from the beach, I shuffled my feet and cried harder.
It was definitely a holy shit night. I can’t even believe that happened, and I never wanna do it again!
What do you want from me FOCUS Flanagan?
I know what I want from you.
Love!
Oh, and your big dick.
I’d thought about tryin’ to put the genie back in the bottle, close Pandora’s Box, however you wanna say it. If I’d stuck to my game plan, none of it would’ve happened. FOCUS wouldn’t have happened and that’s why I was stuck. On his absolute worst day, I wouldn’t wish him away. I might say it, out loud and everything, but when it comes right down to it, I can’t. All the addictions I’d gained since meeting him—my golden pole, life with the club, `way too much alcohol, and enough sex to get a college full of frat boys through to their bachelor’s degrees—I could quit most of it. Okay, some of it. I could slow down on everything, but I couldn’t quit or slow down on him at all.
The door. Fuck!
Someone was awake and came in to pee. Please don’t open the curtain! He was mid-stream when he started talkin’.
“Mornin’, kid. FOCUS packed all your shit up. He’s gettin’ coffee somewhere downstairs and headed to the bikes. Better get your ass ready to roll.” Crucifix sounded sleepy, but a little flat and annoyed. “Just a head’s up . . . he’s in a mood this mornin’. Watch your step.”
My tears fell faster, but I breathed in through my nose and tried to sound normal, “Oh . . . okay. I’ll put a fire under my ass.”
Go away, Crucifix. Please.
“Suck it up, kid. Wash your face and come down with your sunglasses coverin’ your eyes. He doesn’t wanna know you were cryin’. Might set him off.”
The attempt at keepin’ my secrets hidden was an epic fail. At least it was Crucifix and not FOCUS. Knowin’ he went downstairs without speakin’ made me nervous. I said a little prayer then opened the door to the room. It was empty. The clothes FOCUS left behind were laid out on the ugly bedspread. I wiggled into the jeans, pulled on the boots, and yanked the top over my head. My hair! I ran my fingers through my wet mess, put my doo-rag on, and quickly twisted up a braid. I was set to go and pulled the rest of my tank top down as I walked up the hall. When the elevator door closed, I stuck the sunglasses on my face and prepared for the worst. There’d never been a time in my life when I wished an elevator would go slower, but I did.
Get your ass ready to roll.
First the fast elevator, then the lobby that I wished coulda been ten miles longer was starin’ me in the face. I imagined that perfect world
with slow elevators and huge lobbies as I double-timed it to the bikes.
Please don’t yell.
Please don’t ignore me.
Oh, hell, yell all you want, just please, please, for all that’s holy, don’t give me the silent treatment.
Everything was packed and they were standin’ by the bikes lookin’ annoyed. “You’re late. Feel lucky you’re not sittin’ on the curb. Get on and I don’t wanna hear about how bad you hurt back there.”
It wasn’t yellin’ or silent, but it made me wanna cry all over again. I counted my lucky stars as I fastened my helmet and slid onto the seat.
“Nah, kid. You’re ridin’ with me for now.” My face must’ve looked the way I felt when Crucifix told me I couldn’t ride with FOCUS because he said, “I don’t wanna hear a fuckin’ word about it.”
FOCUS lowered his glasses and looked at Crucifix. “I’ll get in my head and figure it out. Got it. Thanks, bro.”
He didn’t argue or anything. Judgin’ by how FOCUS reacted, I knew Crucifix was doin’ him a favor and lettin’ him have space from me. I hoped he’d be able to ride the jealousy and bullshit out of his mind. I was only doin’ what he told me to.
They didn’t tell me where we were goin’, just some sister strip club they own, and that I’d be workin’ as a headliner. While we rode, I thought about all the sexy, sparklin’ costumes FOCUS bought me for the trip. It was sorta excitin’ and I woulda been so jazzed if they were. If only we could rewind to when we got to Atlantic City and they were doin’ shots outta my belly button. We were all fuckin’ happy and then wham, bam, we weren’t.
We rode for almost eight hours with short, mostly silent, stops along the way. Crucifix finally let me ride on FOCUS’ bike after the last one. It didn’t change anything—FOCUS was still pissed and said,“Don’t talk, just ride. Not ready to deal with you yet.”
I wasn’t used to him bein’ so cold and quiet. It gave me a really uneasy feelin’ in the pit of my stomach. If he was yellin’, he always got it off his chest—whatever the situation. It was the longest leg of the ride and I was never so happy to be off the bike as I was when we pulled into a motel in Columbus, Ohio.
Tombstone got a room and we rode around back and got off the bikes. FOCUS didn’t seem quite as tense as he had been. Maybe he rode it out of his head. One can only hope and dream.
“You and me gotta have a talk, girl, but first I’m gonna chill the fuck out.” He looked over and kicked at Tombstone’s boot. “Hey, Princess. Since you’ve been in the truck all day I nominate you to find a liquor store and grab us a bottle and beer. Ya can take my bike if you’re feelin’ squirrely enough to ride. Bungees are in the saddle bag, the beer can ride bitch.”
Just like that, the cloud lifted and I could finally breathe. The “gotta have a talk” part was freakin’ me out, but it was better than the not talkin’ or relaxin’. It was hours of waitin’ until I was about ready to give up. Crucifix was sleepin’ and Tombstone was nursin’ a beer while watchin’ TV. FOCUS was MIA. He’d gone out to get food and hadn’t come back.
I hope he’s okay.
“Hey, Tombie . . . I’m gonna go grab some soda from the machine. Want anything?”
Tombstone shook his head and lifted a beer, “Thanks, but I’m set.”
I took the ice bucket and walked down the sidewalk worryin’ about FOCUS and why he hadn’t come back. Even if he’s a monster-sized dick, I still get concerned. When I turned the corner, my concern became anger. That black shamrock bike was just barely within eyeshot. I threw the bucket on the ground and ran towards the bike.
“FOCUS, what the fuck?”
That’s when I saw he was just fine and dandy. His dick was in some girl’s mouth and he was kicked back on the seat. I was in shock and just stood there like a moron. He looked over his shoulder and caught my eyes. Smirk, motherfucker. Smirk.
His hand went to the top of her head and he didn’t even break the stare. He wanted me to watch and I couldn’t help myself. I knew there were other girls he fucked. It wasn’t a big secret, but I’d never actually seen it before. I kept watching. Not so much her, but his eyes focusin’ on me while she sucked his cock. His fingers were messin’ up the top of her hair, I saw that. When he grabbed a fistful and pulled, I couldn’t help seein’ and thinkin’ of how it feels when he does it to me.
Is she makin’ him feel like I do?
Can she do that thing I do . . . lick his balls when I deep throat?
He pushed her head down hard and smiled at me when she gagged. It’s a show! His hips started to thrust. He watched me the entire time. It was gettin’ him off knowin’ it was tearin’ me up inside. When he held her head still and fucked that face, my heart flipped. He’s gonna come in her mouth. There’s the look! His eyes closed and he pulled her head in and didn’t let it move until he was done. When she stood up, he reached out and slid a finger into her shorts, then he laughed and looked at me again.
“She didn’t get wet like you do, baby.” The girl jumped when she looked and saw me standin’ there watchin’ them. He crooked his finger and I walked over. My steps were hard, pissed off, and the closer I got, the more the girl realized it would be a good idea to walk the fuck away. When we were alone, he unzipped my jeans and pushed his way into my panties. I stepped back quick and refastened my pants. While my head was down, he grabbed my hair and pulled me to him. His finger went directly into my mouth. “Guess what? Your pussy isn’t wet either. Was it somethin’ you saw?”
I wiggled in his grip. He leaned into my face and kissed me deep and hard. I don’t get those from him often and they always make a lasting impression. For as tough as he is, as mean and hateful as he can be, his lips are soft and the rare kisses are always intense.
Almost better than sex.
“Hard to get wet after bein’ so worried when you didn’t come back, FOCUS! Then to see just how okay you were. It didn’t put me in the mood, as you can imagine!”
I heard the words fallin’ outta my lips and knew what he was doin’. He must’ve seen the light bulb go off over my head.
“Ah, I see . . . it’s okay for me to worry about what the fuck your lil’ ass is up to, but when the tables are flipped on their asses, you’re not feelin’ it. Girl, you’re gettin’ a taste of your own medicine. Damn funny thing, it didn’t get you hot, but big dick does. Hell, any dick does.”
He cares. Lie all ya want. You care.
“It’s not even like that! It’s my job, isn’t it? You put out the job description and if I don’t do it, you’d toss me out in the street! What do you want from me, ‘cause I sure as fuck can’t tell? ”
Say it.
Say those words.
“I want you to do your job the way I tell you to! You’re cock crazy and it clouds your judgment, big time. How many guys have you given extra time to? All that extra time is money you take from the club. You know how we feel about that shit.”
That is not what you wanna say. Liar.
“You confuse the hell outta me, FOCUS! Call shit whatever you want, but in the end, you’re a jealous motherfucker and want me to yourself. Admit it! That’s what this little show was all about.”
He took a cigarette out of a fresh pack and snapped at me.
“The last thing I want is to have you to myself! Do you know the last time I had an ol’ lady or girlfriend? I’ll tell ya. It was before I went into the Marines. A long fuckin’ time ago. No pussy is good enough to make me tie myself up to it.” He handed the pack over to me, I lit one, and he kept talkin’. “You’re great, but ya know what your problem is? You’re too fuckin’ enthusiastic about all of it. I see you lookin’ at me with some other guy’s cock poundin’ you . . . you’re a fuckin’ tease and I don’t need it. Business is business and that’s what we have. Girl, you need to stick to business and get your head outta your ass!”
I need to get my head outta my ass?
What about you?
I leaned against the car that was parked next to the bike.
All I could do was look at my feet and hope no one in the other rooms could hear him yellin’.
“Oh, we’re business? Does that mean you’ll start payin’ me when you fuck me? I mean, if that’s all we are, it’s only fair.” His eyes lit up like fire and he stood and started to pace. “You like watchin’ me or you wouldn’t come into the back room when I’m busy. Any one of the brothers could come in, but you almost always do it. I’m only a tease ‘cause you want me. So, which is it, FOCUS? Do you love fuckin’ the sloppy fifths like you’ve said? You love how good I can take it with all of you guys or Heavy? You can’t go gettin’ pissed at me for doin’ what you tell me to do. It’s not fair to fuck with my head like that!”
“Life ain’t fair. I never told ya I’d be.”
PRETTY MESS
I shoulda fucked that skank instead of havin’ her blow me. The stuff in my head wasn’t gonna just go away with a half-assed dick suckin’. Nixx does shit that other girls can’t and only a pussy could give me hope of gettin’ it outta me.
Shoulda known better.
We went back to the room and she climbed under the covers like nothin’ was rufflin’ her feathers. I ended up tossin’ and turnin’ on top of the blanket, tryin’ to figure it out.
She’s just a whore.
I knew she was a cock fiend before we Goldied her.
The face and pussy of Royal Bastards Video.
I pulled the bedspread down and crawled under. She was right there and I coulda fucked her and used that pussy, but she woulda liked that too much. Instead, my hand reached between her legs and started to rub through the panties. She got me hard, all the time, and it was her turn to get me off. I spit in my hand and started to stroke my cock. I’d get pleasure from her one way or another and the idea of just usin’ what was sleepin’ next to me made my dick rage.
Just a hole.
Nothin’ more.
Nothin’ less.
My fuckin’ property.
I kept workin’ my cock and thinkin’ about the chick on the bike and Nixx’s face watchin’. Like I have to. Then, I thought about the beach, and Heavy, and how fuckin’ hot it all was. I shouldn’t be reactin’ like that. It should be just a fuck, like all them other bitches. I should be used to it and let it just roll off my back. It wasn’t like she didn’t still get all psyched when I fucked her. She was always ready to ride and was damn sure the sweetest and juiciest apple in the bunch. The way she got with other guys wasn’t so different than with me, and that was the thing gnawin’ at me like a rat. It was always clear when she was havin’ fun with a trick, he’d suddenly get more time or songs than he should. That pissed me off. Stealin’ was one thing, but I’d made it fuckin’ clear as a summer day that she was mine and I decided what and who got into her and for how long. It was supposed to be business, end of story. Business had become a pride thing.
