Quillan made his own way into my herb room while I glared at my friend and my teacher, both of whom were definitely setting me up now. They wanted Quillan and I to be alone in the hopes it would force us to talk. My eyes narrowed.
“If I didn’t know Quillan better, I’d say you all concocted this situation together,” I accused.
Cathwulf laughed as she zipped her jacket up and pulled a beanie over her ears. “Fate has a way of forcing us to do the things we put off.”
I rolled my eyes. Fate be damned.
“You should stay at least, Athena. You’ll do a better job fixing him up than I will,” I begged, giving her a pleading look only for her to shake her head. There went my last attempt.
“My work here is done. You’re this pack’s healer now, you’re no longer my student. Tend to your mate and make up, my final order,” she teased, opening the door for Cathwulf.
A noise of protest left me but they simply laughed to themselves and continued on their way. I could hear the mention of whether Liam had decided to stay with Ben as they wandered off, leaving me alone to face my mate. I silently cursed them both.
At the sound of something hitting the ground, my eyes closed wearily. Already he was making a mess of my space. Taking a deep breath, I tilted my chin up. I refused to be afraid of facing my own mate and I refused to back down and submit before him. My steps were confident as I made my way into the room but I frowned at the state of Quillan. He’d gone pale, slumping against the far counter with a smashed pot by his feet. It would have been better to do this in Sam’s clinic where I could have him lie on one of the beds but I got the feeling he’d refuse.
Bending down to pick up the broken bits of pot, wary of sharp edges, I felt suddenly awkward. I wasn’t sure what to say and I was strangely nervous about him being my first patient as the official healer—at least I would be when Roarke announced it to the pack. Athena thought I was ready to manage on my own. I didn’t agree.
I tugged the stool out and swallowed, trying to keep my hands from shaking.
“Can you sit?” I asked quietly.
He nodded and painfully slid onto the stool. I felt sick at the sight of his abdomen almost completely stained red but it was drying, which meant the bleeding was beginning to stop. When he moved his hand away, I cringed. The wound was gaping, fresh blood beginning to flow, and my wolf growled protectively. It would definitely need stitches. The smell of blood was so thick that my mouth tasted like old pennies. I wanted to be sick.
“Sam should really do this, or Athena,” I protested, quickly grabbing bandages soaked in saltwater to clean up the blood with shaking hands.
“I don’t care. You’ve denied me of your touch for close to a week. Even if it’s only while you fix me up, I want to feel you,” Quillan argued, his voice a low growl.
My gaze met his and I faltered. It wasn’t anger that I saw in their depths but hurt and need. Allowing the bond between us to open, my entire body ached at the emotion that flooded through. The pain he was feeling physically was nothing compared to how he felt emotionally. It bruised itself deep into my bones and tears welled. I couldn’t bear the thought that it was me that had caused this. Swallowing, I tore my eyes away from his to focus on my work.
“Why would you go after a stag by yourself? Have you lost your sense?” I scolded as I kneeled.
Quillan shifted and the movement had more blood seeping past the bandages. I needed to stitch this up now or he’d bleed out all over my floor. How was he so calm? When I went to stand again to find my needle and thread, he caught my wrist.
A small glimmer of fear flared until I reminded myself Quillan wouldn’t hurt me but he must have seen it in my face because his grip loosened until his fingers were barely caressing my skin. I didn’t pull away. His touch felt so good and calmed a little more of my nerves.
“I thought if I could take it down and present it to you…” he trailed off quietly and shook his head, releasing me.
Sighing heavily, I closed my eyes and wished he would understand that I wanted him to see me as his equal and not something he needed to protect. I grabbed the first aid box, my voice quiet as I said, “I don’t need you to prove you can hunt and provide for me, Quillan.”
“I know,” he mumbled. “But where I’m from, my people’s ways dictate I must present you with something as an apology. And I am sorry. I shouldn’t have treated you as I did. It was selfish and controlling. That’s not the male I am. I don’t want to rule over you.”
Turning back to him, I could see the honesty shining in his eyes but my jaw clenched. “And it took you almost an entire week to decide to apologise?”
His jaw ticked but I held my own as I kneeled down again, cleansing the needle with a wipe to get rid of any germs. It was new out of the packaging but I couldn’t help but be overly cautious. The list of things that could go wrong went through my head over and over again.
“No, it took me almost an entire week to hunt the stag,” he replied stiffly.
I paused again, taken aback by his words. He’d been hunting the stag this whole time? Was that why it had been so easy to avoid him, because he wasn’t here? I melted a little, staring up at him with wide eyes. From the way his body slumped, I knew he assumed I was disappointed it took him so long to hunt, but I was amazed at the fact he’d done something so time consuming and dangerous all because he knew he’d disrespected me. Because he believed I deserved one of the biggest prizes a wolf could offer his mate to eat.
My gaze turned from shock to awe, my features gentling and he visibly relaxed. He knew he was winning me over, there was a slight smug set to his smile.
“As I said, I’m bound by my ancestors and their teachings. I must prove my apology and my worthiness of your forgiveness. I couldn’t come to you without it,” he reiterated, straightening up.
My wolf felt nothing but pride at having such an honourable and chivalrous wolf as Quillan. Anger dissipated and I wanted nothing more than to kiss him. That Quillan thought he needed to prove his worthiness to me was shocking. I couldn’t find anything to say but I knew he’d feel it all through our bond which I had allowed to keep open. I didn’t need to say anything. A flash of pain over his features startled me back to work. There was time for our conversation later. Quillan’s hand reached out for the counter, the old wood creaking under his grip as he braced himself.
We both fell silent as I pinched skin together, hesitating with the needle. My hands were shaking, my breathing fast and nervous.
Fingers brushed over my cheek, bringing my skin to life with a buzz of awareness.
“You can do it,” he urged and I knew he was right.
Taking a deep breath, I tried not to think too much about who it was I was stitching back together. Quillan never flinched as I worked with my eyes narrowed in concentration. His fingers occasionally brushed my hair or over my shoulder and I would have to pause until I could steady my hand again. It was an easier task than I’d worked up in my head, though definitely not one I enjoyed. When I was finished, I leaned back to inspect it and gave myself a nod. The stitches were straight and the bleeding had stopped. It looked a little swollen but it was nothing an ice pack wouldn’t be able to help. There were herbs he could take to fight against infection and help with the pain, and I had no doubt that it would hurt. I was then quick to pick up more wipes to clean my hands because having my mate’s blood on me had something inside curling in disgust.
When I looked up, Quillan was smiling down at me, amusement glittering in his eyes. Worried I’d done something wrong, I glanced back down at my handy work. Nothing seemed amiss.
“Did you know you hum when you’re concentrating?” He chuckled, making me blush.
I shook my head, letting my hair fall over my face to hide me away. He took my hand and tugged until I stood slowly. Even sitting down, Quillan was the same height as me and he gently tucked my hair behind my ear so he could see my face. There was no hiding from Quillan. I couldn’t help but lean into
his touch as his fingers brushed over my cheek.
“I’ve missed you, Oria, my mate,” he whispered, pulling me closer until I stood between his legs. “Do you forgive me?”
My fingers twitched, my wolf urging me to touch him too, to run my fingers through his hair and over his body until his skin held my scent again. I closed my eyes, trying to remain firm. One apology didn’t fix the problem that still lingered between us. He sighed and released me but I didn’t move away. I was fighting with myself, trying to decide if I’d punished him enough, if he’d really learned a lesson.
It was hard to stay strong when I could feel the heat of him against my skin, when his scent was invading my senses. Burning wood and night air. He didn’t reach out for me, allowing me to work through my thoughts. I was glad of that. I’d done my job as healer—The Healer—accepting my position. I’d shown him I wasn’t weak when I’d run out to help him inside despite not knowing whether it was my father who had inflicted these wounds. I didn’t fall at his feet and accept his apology outright like I might have done before I’d found my own strength. Had I proven enough to him? I wasn’t sure.
“You won’t treat me like that again?” Opening my eyes, I studied his face.
He shook his head, his tone grave as he grabbed my hand again and swore, “No, never again. I promise.”
I nodded, finally allowing myself to relax and give into my need to touch him. My chest against his, fingers sliding over his shoulders as our cheek brushed together in forgiveness before I pressed my lips to his. He kissed me back hungrily, desperately, and I could feel how much he’d missed me in the way he grabbed and held my waist. Tangling my fingers in his hair, I kept him close, moaning softly. His hands slid down to grip my thighs and I straddled his waist, my body burning with desires I’d ignored all week.
He groaned a little when I bumped into his injured side and I cringed, slowing down. I’d gotten too caught up in my own need to claim him all over again, not that he’d been any less lost to desires.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured, stroking his cheek.
He grinned, squeezing my rear. “It was worth it.”
I laughed, resting my forehead against his, greedily inhaling his scent. It was nice just to sit and have him hold me, my worries drifting away. We stayed that way for a while, breathing the other in, hands caressing, exploring. As I shifted my hips, I could feel what my touch was doing to him and I couldn’t help but smirk a little. My gaze held his, watching the black of his eyes fracture with the gold of his wolf.
“Let’s go home now. Let me show you how sorry I am by worshipping every inch of you,” he growled, emphasising his words with kisses along my neck before nipping the mark that rested there.
A bolt of pleasure shot through me and my hips began to grind against the growing bulge beneath me on instinct. I bit my lip unable to form words as warmth spread over my skin. I craved him. Nothing would stop me from having him. Though injured as he was, we might have to wait.
“You’ll sleep in our room tonight?” he asked with an almost pleading tone while his lips and teeth teased the claim on my shoulder.
“Yes,” I whispered, wishing he could take me right here.
He growled in approval, sliding his hand beneath my top to graze rough fingers up my side. “Good. You’ll eat with the high-ranked tomorrow as well. It’s time we let everyone know you’re my mate.”
The demand made me bristle, my senses returning and I slipped from his lap. I wasn’t sure I wanted everyone to know yet, not when things were still unsteady between us. I wanted us to be strong when we showed the pack we were together, so that nobody would doubt our relationship or my ability to be by his side. Yet again he was giving orders like I was another wolf instead of discussing things with me as his mate.
“Now I’ve decided I am still mad at you,” I quipped, beginning to clear away bloody bandages, forcing arousal away as if there still wasn’t an aching need between my thighs.
“Your place is by my side, you will join us tomorrow. I’ve spent all week without you, I won’t hide this anymore,” he argued, standing slowly to his feet, another flash of gold in his eyes.
“You’re right, my place is at the table with the high-ranked, but I’ll be going as the pack healer, not your mate,” I grit out, turning on my heel before looking back to add, “And I’ll join you tonight when I’m finished here. I have a job now, I can’t leave whenever you want me to.”
He conceded, bowing his head, and I went back to cleaning up. Turning the taps on, I gave my hands a proper scrub. Warm hands slid to my waist and Quillan tugged my back against his chest. I froze, then readied myself to push him away before he could think he could seduce me into agreeing with him, but he spoke before I could.
“You’re right, my beautiful female. You’re no longer just a healer, you’ve become The Healer,” he agreed, and the pride in his voice had my back straightening.
I hated to admit that his attempt at flattery had worked. I’d done what so many had doubted I’d be able to do, now I had to take the position as mine. My wolf growled in my head, pacing restlessly. The instincts of my fur urged me to show everyone how well I would take my place as a high-ranked member of the pack in my own right.
Chapter 18
Ghosts
Creaking woke me up and I sat up slowly, rubbing sleep from my eyes. No light filtered past the curtains and the flashing alarm clock on the bedside table told me it was only four a.m. Quillan was sleeping soundly beside me, one hand reaching out for me on the bed. Smiling, I lay back down, resting on my side to watch my mate. I should have been used to the sounds this old house made. The temperature had dropped far below freezing over the last few days, making wood expand, and the house had begun to groan its protest to the cold after we’d had such a warm summer.
Closing my eyes, I sank a little closer to the warmth of Quillan. My body began to relax back into sleep until the creak of floorboards shattered the silence again.
“Oria,” a voice whispered by the window.
My breath caught in my throat, my eyes flying open again before my whole body froze in fear. I knew that voice. With my jaw clenched, I forced myself to look towards the window. The curtains were drawn now and I screamed at the shadow that blocked the light of the moon before it swiftly blended into the dark of the night.
Another scream tore past my lips.
Quillan sat bolt upright, a loud growl roaring through the room as he searched for whatever had frightened me. Blinking, my hands shook as I pointed towards the window and he jumped from the bed to go look.
“He was here, I swear he was here,” I cried, pushing myself up onto my knees, searching the dark with glowing eyes as my wolf pushed forth.
Quillan gave me a sympathetic look, tension leaving him. He didn’t seem as concerned as he searched the rest of the room, scenting the air. I watched frozen on the bed, unable to tear my eyes away from the window. He even checked the bathroom, flicking the light on to show me there was nothing there.
When he came back to bed, he pulled me against him, stroking through my long hair.
“There’s nothing here, Oria,” he murmured soothingly. “It was just a dream.”
I shook my head, pulling away. “No, it wasn’t a dream! He said my name, I heard it as clearly as I hear you now.”
He sighed, looking around again. “There’s no other scent in this room apart from ours. The window is shut and locked. I would have known if he was in here, I would have woken up.”
“But it woke me up and—”
He hushed me and cupped my cheek as my voice went up an octave in panic. I settled a little and leaned into him but nothing he could say would dissuade me from believing what I knew to be true. My father had been in this room. He was hiding his scent and I would find out how. My gaze flicked towards the window again. Or had he been in the room? I hadn’t gotten a good look. Could his voice have come from outside the window?
“Let’s go back to sleep, my female. Yo
u’ve had a tough few days, that’s all it is. You need to rest,” Quillan urged, pulling me to lay back down with him.
Nodding, I let him believe I had calmed with his words and curled up against his side. His hand rubbed soothing circles on my lower back but when his own breath evened out as he began to drift off, I stayed awake. Just in case. I knew it was more than me imagining the ghost of my nightmares.
His fingers kept weaving through my hair but even his touch and the low rumble of his wolf wasn’t enough to comfort me. Eventually his wolf too became quiet, his hands stilled, and I kept close in his hold.
When I was sure he wouldn’t wake, I slipped from his arms to check the room for myself. No monster hid in the closet or under the bed, and as Quillan had said, the window was latched tightly in place. There was definitely no evidence that anyone had been here and that unsettled my fur. Glowing blue eyes reflected back at me in the window, worry creasing my own features. I tore my gaze away.
Slipping on an overly fluffy dressing gown, I tiptoed from the room and did my best to avoid creaky floorboards. I was on a mission now and my lips quirked into a smile as the Pink Panther began to play in my head. Years of perfecting the ability to go unnoticed and unheard for my own safety would have made me a good spy. Pausing in the hall, I chewed my lip. If any books would have information on how wolves hid their scents, they would be in Roarke’s office. The part of me so used to being the submissive Omega cowered at the thought of trespassing in the Alpha’s private room. Nobody went in without knocking except Cathwulf and Quillan, and I knew Roarke was often annoyed by my mate’s lack of respect for their privacy. Yet, I’d never been expressly forbidden from entering. The books inside were allowed to be borrowed by the pack after all…
Nodding to myself and wrapping the dressing gown more firmly around me to ward off the cold, I continued on my way. The house was dark and eerily quiet, only making my anxiety spike. My heart thundered against my chest but I forced myself to stay strong and remind myself that the only ones in this house were the Alpha and Beta pair, Ben, Liam, and Athena. All wolves I knew, all wolves I was comfortable around.
Way Of The Wolf: Endeavour (The Wulvers Series Book 3) Page 20
