by LJ Swallow
He pushes hair from his eyes and blinks at me. "If this is about the Blackwood pendant, yes, I have the necklace. I’ll hand it to Tobias tomorrow."
"Did you know Jamie had the pendant?" I ask, incredulous he'd hide this from us.
"No! I would've said something to Amelia, wouldn't I? Or you."
I hold my hand out. "I’ll take it."
He pauses. "Don't take offence, but I'm not giving the pendant to another witch."
"Oh? Are you saving it to give to the Dominion?"
His grip on the door tightens. "What?"
"The Dominion. They're the reason you took us to Demon’s Lair tonight."
Andrei grabs my arm and before I can catch up to what's happening, he pulls me into his room and slams the door.
Chapter Forty-Two
MAEVE
The place is a mess. Clothes are strewn across the floor and the bed is unmade. I can't see his desk beneath the books and paper piled on top, and a laptop charges on the floor in a corner.
The candle burning on a small shelf gives off a scent that reminds me of him—subtle and woody.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" He drags his hair back and panic edges his features.
"I saw you tonight, Andrei. I recognised your sister from Sofia's book—she looks like you and your mother."
For an eternal moment, Andrei doesn't speak and my heart thuds harder.
"Is that what you believe, Maeve? That I'm a spy for the Dominion?" His voice is harsh and dark anger replaces the drugged look.
"You were the one who insisted we all went to Devil’s Lair tonight. Planned our ‘night out’. Now, coincidentally, the Dominion were there. What would’ve happened if Jamie’s behaviour hadn't forced us to leave?"
He shakes his head as I speak. "No. How can you think this?"
"Because I saw you with your sister!" I say, voice rising.
"I didn't know she'd be there and I think you should ask the club owners why, not me. Ione accosted me." He pushes both hands into his hair and holds his arms above his head. "I don't believe this. After all the support I've given you."
I waver. Am I paranoid? My friends' lives are under threat here.
"Is Tobias involved?" I demand.
"What the fuck are you talking about, Maeve? He's here to help. Why would Tobias pursue Vincent, convinced he’s a Dominion sympathiser, if he were one too?"
"To deflect attention?" I suggest.
Andrei drops his hands and shakes his head. "I'm not talking to you about this paranoid bullshit. Where's your proof? Did you take photos?"
I blink. "No."
"Have I done one single thing that makes you suspect me, before tonight?"
Resting against his bedroom wall, I rub my temples. Andrei's convincing—genuinely shocked.
He wraps his arms around himself, every muscle tensing. "Are you buying into the 'Andrei is a Tepes, so he must support Dominion' bullshit? I thought you were better than that."
"You have to understand why I'd have doubts after what I saw, Andrei."
"No, I don't!" He half-shouts and I shrink back as he steps closer. "You said you knew me. Believed me. You fucking accepted me and now what? You throw all that back in my face?"
His chest rises and falls rapidly, his blue eyes glittering with fury. My breathing speeds too, with fear he'll hurt me.
"No. But—"
"But what?" he gives a harsh laugh. "Maeve Foster, the prejudiced human, doesn't think for herself after all."
"I do!"
"Sure, you do. Sofia's in your ear about me. Witches don't trust me—and I bet bloody Ash doubts me too."
"Ash has nothing to do with this."
Andrei tips his head to look at the ceiling and mutters under his breath. Sizing up my chance, I side-step towards the door.
Andrei's arm shoots out and he slams a palm on the wall above my head, blocking my escape.
"So, Ash siding with Vincent and rejecting you is okay, but because I'm a vampire, everything I've done to protect you doesn't count?"
"I said, this isn't about Ash. Stop changing the subject, Andrei."
He taps the side of his head with a forefinger. "Ash is in trouble. Vincent's brainwashing him. He's torn you and Ash apart and this affects us all."
"Because a witch is responsible for what happened to him."
We're close, both breathing heavily through our frustration. "You're blinded by him. Just like I'm blinded by you."
I take a ragged breath. "What the hell does that mean?"
His face moves closer and I sense his emotions too readily. "You've kissed me. You've seen into my head. You know how I feel about you." His jaw sets hard. "I've never done anything to hurt you, and I never will. No bastard could tell me to abandon you. I'm not Ash."
I shake as his emotions flow over me. At the truth radiating into the tiny space left between us.
"You told me you had to keep away. The witch blood..." I trail off, unsure what to say.
He moistens his lips. "Being close to you like this drives my instincts fucking nuts, but I won't hurt you."
"I want to trust you, Andrei. I just—"
He slams a hand on the wall again and steps away, leaving me shaking. "Fine. Go. Believe what you want. Tell Theodora you saw me plotting with my sister and watch her expel me. Wave goodbye when they send me to Ravenhold."
"I wouldn't do that." I rub my head. I’m jumping to conclusions. Again. "This is confusing, Andrei."
"No. It's not. You believe me or you don't. If you don't, I guess I'll see Matt in Ravenhold."
"No! I don't want you to go there."
"Why? If I'm a danger to the academy and the Confederacy, isn't that where I should be?" He tips his head. "Don't tell me you care about me."
"I do."
Andrei moves closer again and I shrink away, but he reaches for the door instead. "Just go, Maeve." His voice drops into low weariness as he yanks it open. He stares ahead without looking at me. "Thanks for reminding me nobody will trust me because of my mother. Not even the girl who knows me better than anyone."
I reach out to shut the door and place my hand over his on the handle. "Let me stay."
"What's the point?"
I gently close the door and rest against it. "I'm sorry. Tell me the story. What happened tonight?"
He looks down at my hand over his. "Do you know what's difficult right now? The way you screw around with my emotions."
I tense. "That's bullshit. Half the time you lie about how you feel."
"I'm not the one who only wants to meet in dark corners for sordid moments."
"There's nothing sordid about us."
"Isn't there?"
"No!"
He drags my hand away from the handle and pulls me towards him. My arm is trapped between his chest and my mouth parches in fear. "Half the time I think you're incredible, Maeve, and the other half you piss me off because of how you treat me."
"How I treat you?" I choke out. "Twice you’ve kissed me and now you’ve pushed me away. That hurts."
"I’m trying to keep you safe."
"But in the next breath you promise me you won't hurt me."
"Because I’m confused, Maeve. So fucking confused. And now this—if you cared, you wouldn't accuse me of this shit."
The truth slams into me. I care more about Andrei than I ever thought I could, and I’m betraying him. Andrei listens and never judges. He steps in to help me, over and over. Hell, at one point he wanted to break Tobias's hold over him to tell me about the mind wiping. Andrei was prepared to risk the consequences.
With his body pressed close to mine now, there's no denying the other effect Andrei has over me. When we kiss, his rough passion is at odds with the distance he keeps, as he reveals the desire he hides. He barely holds onto the self-control when we kiss—but he does.
Andrei wouldn't be able to if he didn't feel something more for me.
I moisten my lips and Andrei watches the movement. His grip on my arm t
ightens as we stand in our weird stalemate.
"I’m sorry, Andrei. I panicked. I feel awful I doubted you."
"Tell me you believe in me," he says hoarsely. "Because if you don't, nobody ever will. I may as well give up."
His pained words wind around my heart and squeeze. "I do. I overreacted because I’m scared what this world holds for me."
"Maeve…" He holds my face between both hands, tightly so I can't move my head. "We will fight this world. Nothing will hurt you as long as I’m around."
"There are stronger people out there," I say, voice thick.
"Believe in how powerful you are. How strong we are together." He’s close, I’m trapped by his body, the strength he talks about. But is this enough?
I’m losing track of this conversation as his touch and tender words send my focus in a different direction. The heat from our argument shifts into something else, and I ache to release that into something we both want.
I reach out to touch his lips. "We can't be strong if all you ever do is push me away."
"Does this feel like I’m pushing you away?" His mouth moves against my fingers. "But you walked into my room knowing how dangerous I am."
I shove at him in frustration. "Omigod, Andrei! Will you stop this constant whining about how dangerous you are to me?"
His mouth parts and cheeks redden. "I am!"
"No, it’s an excuse. You're not scared you’ll kill me; you're terrified I’ll bring a part of you to life."
"You’re a witch! What if I’m as bad as they say? What if—"
I grab Andrei’s hair and pull his head towards mine. Heart racing, I close my mouth around his and kiss him, smothering his words.
He tenses in surprise and I hold onto him, more terrified that he’ll push me away than attack me.
Both hands back on my cheeks, he tips my face upwards and his lips move against mine. The temptation I’ve resisted until now evaporates as I push my fingers beneath his shirt and drag fingers across the sculpted muscle. Andrei tenses and his hot breath hovers against my mouth as he stops kissing me.
In frustration, I tug his lip into my mouth and bite. He winces and makes a sound low in his throat before thrusting his tongue into my mouth. His lips harden with a devouring kiss, and Andrei shoves me against the door with one hand and holds me in place. Andrei’s taste is becoming familiar, but this time there’s no mint.
Each of his senses is fully aware of who and what I am.
His other hand pushes beneath my dress, and teases feathery touches along my thigh. Pressing his hand harder into my shoulder, he slides a hand around to my backside and I make a surprised sound.
"Okay?" he says.
I nod.
In a blur, I’m with him on the edge of his bed. Andrei sits back and pulls me onto his lap. My dress rides up my legs as I straddle his hips, leaving my underwear and his jeans as the only clothing between. It’s impossible to ignore his arousal and the barrier between us does nothing to quell the tightening between my legs.
There’s something I need to know. I drag his T-shirt upwards and he pulls it over his head with one hand. Then I place my fingers on the black ink across his smooth skin and hard pecs. The raven.
"Is this what you saw?" he asks in a husky tone.
"The raven? Yes."
He reaches up and pushes my dress straps down, the material falling forward and exposing the top of my breasts. "Not the tattoo. Me and you. This."
I rub my lips together. "I think so."
"It’s what you want?" His eyes glitter in the dark room, and the touch of his fingertips as he traces the exposed skin flicks a switch, coursing white-hot heat through my whole body. My dress slips further and Andrei inhales sharply, but he doesn't move.
His pause surprises me and I tense, ready for him to stop altogether. To throw excuses at me why he can’t continue.
"Yes," I say.
"But I warned you," he murmurs and nips my shoulder. "I won't be gentle."
His teeth against my skin ramps up the need. "I don't care."
"I hope you mean that." I’m held in place as he fists my hair and tips my head back. Lips touch my heated skin, moving from my neck downwards.
I’m where Andrei wants me, and I’m where I want to be. But if I give myself to him, how much would I lose?
Right here, right now, with his hands and mouth driving me towards his wicked promises, I don't care whether I regret this or not.
My scalp tingles as he releases my hair. He slips the straps further down my shoulders and pushes my dress to my waist, his fingertips lightly brushing my skin, eyes on mine the whole time. "You have no idea how much and how often I've thought about this," he says in a rough voice.
"Same," I manage to croak out.
He slides both hands back up my sides and cups my breasts, rubbing my peaked nipple beneath the lace as he lowers his head to place his lips on the exposed skin. His attention pulls my insides tight, and I close my eyes pushing my fingers into the back of his hair, gripping as my arousal grows.
The gentle attention drops away as he pulls at the material and his hot mouth immediately touches the swell of my breasts. The rough fervour of his hands and mouth shock and arouse me, as I give in to what my body has screamed at me to do every time we touched.
I sink back onto the bed and pull at him, wanting his body covering me.
His hips settle against mine, but he props himself up on both arms, dark eyes shining. Our heavy breaths mingle, and for a moment, we don't speak. A pause. Something exchanged in the unspoken 'yes'.
The fleeting moment passes, and Andrei flips me over on the bed. He slides his hand between us, and along my inner thigh, fingers pressing hard against the skin. The raw passion that bubbles beneath won't be held back much longer, the depth of his kiss and insistence of his hands ramping my own desire.
I'm eager for him to explore further, fulfil the fantasies I've had about him.
To see if the vision comes true.
I lose track of where I am and who we are as we tangle together on his bed, Andrei's attention becoming unrestrained the further we spiral into our physical need. My heart hammers against my chest as I struggle for breath, my mouth smarting from rough kisses, skin on fire from his harsh touch.
We're naked; bodies joined as our fevered passion leads us across the unspoken line existing between our lives. The witch and the vampire. The taboo—the extra thrill this gives to the situation.
Andrei shakes hair from his face and holds himself away from me, propped up on both arms, staring down with his mouth parted. I curl my fingers around his forearm, and he dips his head forward, moistening his lips as he takes ragged breaths. The tension in his arms and face show the struggle against the effect my hot blood must have on him.
I wriggle against him in frustration. "Don't stop."
He lifts his head, and the depth of the darkness in his eyes and wicked smile sends a shiver through. My instinct screams danger, but that adds to the thrill as his lips assault mine again. A guy has never possessed me in this way, and I've never experienced raw lust from anyone in the past, but instead of being afraid I feel a safety with Andrei that I never expected.
Andrei warned me he wouldn't be gentle, as if that's what I need, but to experience someone consumed by passion for me is as satisfying as soft kisses and tender touches. I don't know how long we stay wrapped in each other, solely focused on each other's pleasure, but I know I could stay in this moment all night.
As I fall apart beneath his hands, Andrei's gaze stays on my face. The world fractures as I reach a new high, and I cling to him as the intense pleasure rolls through me. I will never worry again that Andrei could hurt me because, in his eyes, I see the tenderness he denies.
Back in reality, I lie in Andrei's arms, head on his shoulder as I fight to bring my breathing back to normal, one hand linked with Andrei's. He strokes my forehead as we lie in silence, coming back down to earth.
"Well, that was…yeah," he murmurs
against my hair.
I shift to face him, and I almost laugh at the hesitancy on his face. "'Yeah?' So eloquent, Andrei."
"You broke my brain," he says and rests his head against mine. "I can't word."
I chuckle at him and pull his damp hair between my fingers. "That's not unusual for you."
He pulls a face. "Huh. Now I won't tell you how fucking incredible you are, Maeve."
"Okay."
"Or how incredible fucking y—" He's interrupted as I gasp and slam a palm over his mouth.
"Andrei!"
"Don't deny it," comes his muffled voice.
I shake my head at him and replace the hand with my lips, tasting him and pulling myself back to the moment. Andrei may hold himself back, but this plain-speaking guy will always speak his mind and keep me grounded.
There's no denying what happened tonight will change everything between us, but by how much?
Chapter Forty-Three
MAEVE
I blink at my surroundings, stuck in that moment when you wake up and try to remember where you are. I’m aware of a body in the bed beside me.
And my near-nakedness.
I sit up and hold the sheet against myself as I look at Andrei’s still figure. He’s lying with one arm above his head against the pillow, face softened by sleep. The top of his tattoo is visible from where the sheet is draped over his chest.
My pulse ticks up as I remember his hands and mouth on me, but this time me and him definitely wasn’t a vision.
Oh crap, I stayed in Andrei’s room all night. Amelia will be freaking out. I’m tempted to snuggle up to Andrei and check he doesn't regret what happened, but this isn't only about me and him.
My bag lies on the floor close to the bed and I reach out to pull it by the strap towards me. Delving inside, I pull out my phone. There’s a message on the screen. Oh hell, I’m in trouble. What a crap friend I am, not telling her I was okay because I was too busy doing… things with Andrei.
I read her text.
Rubbing my eyes, I re-read Amelia’s message. Back from where? Amelia hasn't asked where I am, which means she can’t be in our room at Walcott.
