by Laura Martin
All the time her hands were exploring his body, trailing over his shoulder, his back, reaching down to where his spine met his buttocks. Then he shifted, pulling out of her reach as he lifted his body and dropped his head lower so his lips could pepper kisses across her abdomen, circling her navel and making something tighten inside her as he slowly moved lower.
She hadn’t realised her thighs had clamped around his shoulders until he began gently to press them outward, before giving her a wicked smile and kissing her in her most private place. Beth gasped, her hands grasping at his head, but he murmured something she didn’t catch into her skin and kissed her until her head arched back and she felt her hair trail through the sand.
‘Just imagine,’ Josh said as he lifted his head for just a moment, ‘when we are married we can do this all day every day if we desire.’
Beth tried to utter something witty about him not being a very good boss if he was secluded in his bedroom with her all day but then he dipped a finger inside her and all conscious thought left her head.
‘Every. Single. Day,’ he said, and Beth felt her hips arch up towards him, begging him for more even though she didn’t know what more would be.
He moved rhythmically, teasing her and kissing her until Beth felt a wonderful tension begin to build inside her. Josh must have sensed it too for he smiled at her and then carefully positioned himself over her, slipping inside and pushing her over the edge. Every muscle in her body tensed and she felt as though she were floating above the ground as wave after wave of pleasure pulsed through her.
Gently Josh pushed into her again and Beth realised he was holding back, giving her time to recover and adjust.
‘I want you,’ she said, looking up into his eyes. ‘All of you.’
Josh groaned and thrust further into her, the force momentarily taking her breath away and then her hips were rising to meet his over and over until they both tipped into oblivion.
He stayed on top of her for a minute then carefully rolled to one side, gently pulling her body close to his in the sand.
For a long while neither of them spoke. Beth was contemplating how her life had changed so significantly in the last few hours and she wondered if Josh was thinking the same.
‘Time for lunch?’
She rolled her eyes. ‘I was lying here thinking of our future and you’re thinking about your stomach.’
‘I need to keep my strength up,’ he said, kissing her on the nose and reaching for the picnic basket.
‘Shouldn’t we at least get dressed first?’
He took the opportunity to rake his eyes all the way down her body before answering.
‘If you insist.’
Chapter Eighteen
As he took a bite of a delicious cheese scone Josh watched his future wife, smiling at the thought of how their fates had changed in such a short while.
He hadn’t planned on proposing to her, hadn’t even truly decided what he wanted before they’d set out for their walk this morning. Then all he had known was he wanted to spend more time with her, to banish the horrible feeling that their time was too short.
It was only when they had sat down at the base of the cliff that he had realised he couldn’t imagine living a single day of his life without Beth by his side. In the short time he’d known her he had started each day thinking of her and wanting to tell her every interesting thing that had happened to him. Leo’s words had resonated, telling him to decide what he wanted and then to go for it.
Even though marriage didn’t fit into his plans, even though it would mean big changes in both their lives, he knew the alternative was unthinkable. He wouldn’t be able to say goodbye to Beth in a few short weeks. It would kill him.
‘You’re going to love India,’ he said as he dipped into the picnic basket and brought out two rosy red apples, offering one to Beth before biting into his own. ‘The climate will take a bit of getting used to, and the culture, but it is such a wonderful country, Beth. I can’t wait to show you it.’ He watched for any sign of uncertainty in her eyes, any sign of doubt. It was a lot to ask of someone, to give up their home, their country and their family to start a life on the other side of the world.
‘You’re wondering if I will regret saying yes to you.’ Beth regarded him as she bit into her own apple.
‘You read me well.’
‘I don’t know if you’re easy to read or if I just know you well.’ She paused, leaning over and taking his hand. ‘I won’t regret it. I won’t change my mind.’
‘You’re giving up a lot for me.’
‘I’m giving up a future of a loveless marriage for something much more wonderful.’
She leaned over and kissed him just as he bit into the apple, coming away giggling.
‘Will your guardian approve of me?’
‘He’ll be ecstatic. He’s always suggesting I might like to settle down. I think he’d almost given up hope I would. Mrs Usbourne will love you too, and she will help you settle in to life in India I’m sure.’
‘I’ll have you and I’ll possibly have Annabelle. Whatever happens, that is all I need.’
They finished their picnic, dipping into the hamper until they were both full and sated and Josh beckoned Beth over to him. He leaned back and she rested her head on his chest. For a long while he was just happy to watch her drooping eyelids as she dozed in the sun, marvelling at how perfect she looked from above as well as every other angle. He felt his own eyelids grow heavy in the afternoon sunshine and allowed himself to succumb to sleep.
* * *
They woke with the sun slightly lower in the sky, both unsure how long they had slept.
‘We should head back,’ Beth said, not looking overly keen about her own suggestion. ‘I will have to tell Mother our news and speak to Annabelle.’
‘We will tell your mother together,’ Josh said, squeezing her hand. Beth nodded, biting her lip. He knew she would be nervous, knew she would want to put off the moment when she had to tell her mother she wasn’t going to marry a man who could save their family home, but it would be best to tell her mother quickly. That way the shouting and recriminations could occur, then the dust settle and then they could all begin to move on.
‘She’s going to be so angry.’
‘Remember you didn’t put your family into debt.’
‘No. It wasn’t really Mother’s fault either though. Most of the debts were Father’s.’
‘After she has grown used to the idea, once she’s settled into a nice little house somewhere, she might find it liberating to live without the constant worry of debt hanging over her.’ As soon as he’d said it he wasn’t sure he believed it. Lady Hummingford was a dowager countess, a woman born into the aristocracy who was used to living in luxury and comfort. To someone like her, status and appearance were everything and the thought of living quietly in a comfortable little house would not be palatable.
‘Hmm.’ Beth didn’t sound convinced either. She stood, brushing the sand from her dress and looking down at the crumpled material. It looked as though she had rolled about on a beach in it, which wasn’t far from the truth.
Josh helped her straighten her skirts as best he could and then Beth busied herself tidying her hair, laughing as the gentle wind kept tugging it from her fingers every time it was almost pinned.
‘Can we detour to the village? I promised Annabelle I would pick her up a new book from the shop when we returned to Sussex and with all the preparations for the house party and entertaining the guests the last few days I haven’t got round to it yet.’
‘Of course.’ He knew she was delaying the inevitable, trying to think of any reason not to return home and face her mother, but he wouldn’t say no to a few more hours in Beth’s company.
They climbed up the steep cliff path and headed arm in arm away from the sea. The little village of East Dean was only a sh
ort stroll away. Josh didn’t have his pocket watch with him and hoped they would make it to the shop in time before it closed for the evening. In India he could tell the time by the height of the sun in the sky and its heat on his back, but here in England he was not accustomed enough to its patterns.
The clock on the church tower told them it was half past four and Beth hurried him down the high street towards the little row of shops. Only as they approached did Beth stop in her tracks and grip his arm.
‘My mother,’ she said, gesturing down a side street. ‘And my sister.’ Her voice was full of disbelief, as if she couldn’t quite trust what she was seeing. ‘Annabelle has never been into the village before. Never.’
For a moment Beth didn’t move, just stood there clutching his arm as her eyes took in the scene in front of them. Lady Hummingford and Annabelle were walking at a slight angle to them so hadn’t caught sight of them yet. They weren’t talking, both with their eyes fixed ahead, but were arm in arm and Josh wondered for the first time if he had judged Beth’s mother too harshly. Perhaps all the scheming and pushing her eldest daughter towards a match she wasn’t keen on really had been to protect her youngest daughter. They certainly looked close as they meandered down the street.
Beth seemed undecided and as her mother and sister turned to walk in their direction she pulled Josh back a few steps. They were about to disappear around the corner when he gripped her hand and bade her not to move.
‘What’s wrong?’
Josh had seen the group of young men approaching Lady Hummingford and Annabelle from the other side of the street. There were six of them, all in their early twenties, well-built men who could be labourers or sailors. They weaved as they walked and looked as though they had spent the best part of the afternoon drinking.
‘They look like trouble.’ He watched, not wanting to intervene if the men were just passing by, but some deep instinct told him they were looking for a confrontation.
‘Look at that,’ one man shouted, raising a weaving hand to point at Annabelle. ‘Or maybe don’t unless you want to bring your lunch back up.’
The other men laughed, crowding in.
‘Hasn’t anyone ever told you to wear a veil, my lady?’
‘Did a demon from hell rise up and scratch you about the face?’
‘Now, lads, don’t be cruel. She’s quite attractive from behind. What do you say? Come with me and I’ll tup you as long as I don’t have to look at your face.’
There was a blur of movement beside him and he realised Beth was running forward, ready to plunge into the middle of the men to defend her sister.
Cursing, he started after her, grabbing her arm and thrusting her behind him just as they reached the group. He registered Annabelle’s shocked face and the falling tears, but forced himself to focus on the men first.
‘Shame on you,’ Beth shouted, shouldering past him. ‘Hounding a lady in the street. What would your mothers say?’
A few of the men looked sheepish and started to back away but two who had taunted Annabelle stayed firmly put.
‘What’s it to you?’
‘Look at them, they’re sisters. Only this one has had her face carved up. This is what she would look like if she wasn’t covered in scars.’
‘Get away from her,’ Josh said, his voice low but dangerous. There were six of them but they were drunk; still he would prefer the men just to leave before Beth began throwing punches herself. She looked angrier than he had ever seen her, like a protective lioness, guarding her young.
The men hesitated and then one blew Beth a kiss before they turned and staggered away.
‘Annabelle,’ Beth said, but already her sister had turned and started to hurry away. ‘I’ve got to go after her.’
‘Come on.’ He grabbed her hand, not caring about the filthy look Lady Hummingford gave him, and together they ran after Annabelle. She was fast, her upset and shame fuelling her, and by the time they reached the gates to Birling View Annabelle was still a hundred feet ahead of them. Beth slowed on the approach to the house, letting her hand slip from his.
‘I must go to her.’
Josh nodded, watching his fiancée disappear into the house with an inexplicable feeling of dread in his stomach.
Chapter Nineteen
‘Please, Beth, just leave me alone.’
Beth felt her heart swell and pulse in her chest as she looked at her sister’s crumpled form on the bed. No matter what happened, no matter how upset, Annabelle never sent her away.
‘No.’ She entered the bedroom they shared and closed the door behind her, turning the key in the lock, and then approached the bed and wrapped her arms around her sister whilst she sobbed. For a long while neither said anything at all, even once the tears had dried up and Annabelle had stilled.
‘What happened?’ Beth asked eventually.
Annabelle sniffed and allowed herself to be manoeuvred up into a sitting position. Her face was red and blotchy, the scars angry and dark against the surrounding normal skin. Her eyes were puffy but at least the tears had stopped falling.
‘Mother suggested a trip to the village. She said I’d done so well going out with you and the other guests.’ Annabelle sniffed and wiped away the fresh tears that fell onto her cheeks. ‘I was surprised. I thought she was angry at me for showing myself, for making a spectacle of myself, but then she said we should try going out again this afternoon.’
Beth rubbed soothing circles on her sister’s back with the palm of her hand. Every so often Annabelle would let out a little shudder that shot through her whole body.
‘I felt nervous. I wanted to wear my cloak—you know the one with the big hood—but Mother said it was too hot and she was right, really. It was too hot.’ The cloak had a deep hood that could shadow the face and hide Annabelle’s scars and her sister always wore it about the estate if she thought there was a chance of meeting anyone.
‘So you went to the village...’ Beth prompted as her sister fell quiet.
‘It was busy and I could see people looking at me, staring.’ She swallowed and closed her eyes for a moment.
Beth felt a surge of annoyance at her mother. It was good to encourage Annabelle to get out, but the village was hardly the most gentle of places to choose for her second outing. People knew their mother and she was sure there were rumours of the second Hummingford daughter secluded on the estate. Everyone would want to catch a glimpse of her when she stepped out into the world.
‘I could take their stares. It made me feel uncomfortable, but I did what you always say. I squared my shoulders and straightened my back and pretended I was walking a little taller.’ She broke off and fresh tears were accompanied by a little sob. ‘But then we were surrounded by that group of men. They were drunk, they stank of stale beer, and I knew they were trouble as soon as the first one began to approach.’
Beth squeezed her sister’s hand and then leaned in and hugged her, trying to convey all the love she felt for Annabelle in one embrace.
‘You heard what they said.’
Silently Beth nodded. It had been unnecessarily cruel. Unprovoked. Beth knew people could be that horrible, but in her sheltered life she hadn’t often come across it.
‘There was nothing to draw their attention?’
‘No. Nothing. They just saw me, saw my face, and it disgusted them so much they decided they just had to say something.’
‘Oh, Annabelle.’
‘I’m never leaving the house again. Never ever. I’m staying right here in this room where my horrific face can’t revolt anyone.’
‘Don’t—’
‘You don’t understand, Beth. Of course, you don’t understand. Look at you, you’re beautiful. People look at you and smile. They look at me and...’ She broke off and buried her face in the pillow.
Beth knew she had to let her sister cry her tears to wor
k through the hurt and anger at being treated so badly, but she wanted to shake her, to tell her that appearance didn’t matter, that Annabelle was sweet and kind and wonderful, but she kept her mouth closed. It was fine to think appearance didn’t matter when people didn’t point and stare at you in the street. Annabelle was entitled to her hurt. And in a way she was right. Beth didn’t doubt that her blonde hair, clear blue eyes and sweet smile conferred certain unseen advantages. People treated attractive people in different ways, better ways.
‘I love you,’ she whispered into Annabelle’s hair.
‘I don’t want to ever leave this house again,’ Annabelle repeated quietly, and Beth heard the resolve in her voice alongside the sadness.
Pushing away the thought of what that meant for her, Beth concentrated on trying to comfort her sister, all the while knowing her whole world had shifted again.
‘I’m sorry,’ she murmured quietly, repeating it again and again. Her own tears mingled in with Annabelle’s on the bedclothes as she felt the weight of responsibility for Annabelle’s pain, mixed with the familiar recriminations. If only she’d watched her sister better, if only she hadn’t been so selfish and engrossed in her play, if only she had seen the vase, if only...
* * *
Beth crept silently from the bedroom, closing the door behind her. Finally Annabelle had settled, at first dropping off into a fitful doze but now she was in a deeper sleep, her arm thrown across her forehead and legs curled to one side.
In the hallway she paused, not knowing whether to go straight to see Josh or whether to get her thoughts straight first. He had this way of persuading her things would work out all right and she needed to be firm to make sure she did the right thing.
Instead of heading over to the part of the house with the guest bedrooms she slipped downstairs in the darkness. It was late, perhaps eleven, and the neglected house guests had long since retired. Beth supposed her mother had hosted the dinner that evening. After popping her head around the door to check Annabelle was being comforted, Lady Hummingford had disappeared and must have been seeing to the other guests. It had always fallen to Beth to comfort her sister whenever she became upset. Their mother wasn’t the maternal or openly affectionate type and so the sisters had always turned to one another if they needed a hug or kind words.
