by Karen Nappa
No, no, no! She hadn't gone home and had sex with Jim. Memories assaulted her. She'd not only gone home with Jim, but she'd also had the best sex of her life. It wasn't because she hadn't had sex often. After her divorce, Paula made sure she had plenty of sex, but only on her terms. Last night had been different. Jim had been bossy, taking complete control, and she'd liked it. The way he'd insisted she hold on to the bed had made everything more intense. Paula had to contain herself from rubbing an orgasm out to the memory. First, she had to get the hell out of here.
Paula looked around the room, masculine and extremely well-organized, with a valet stand in the corner. Who the hell had a valet stand in his room? She scanned the room more closely and noticed three large framed posters from The Lord of the Rings movies and did a double take. Was he some kind of fanboy? It didn't matter. She wouldn't be back here. She found her clothes folded on a chair near the bed. Folded? Okay, she really needed to leave! Paula moved Jim's arm so she could extract herself from the bed. She held her breath when she heard him mumbling, but he didn't wake up. She tiptoed to the chair and picked up her clothes. She couldn't help stealing a glance back. The bedside clock showed 6:30. She really had to get out of here. How could she have let herself stay the night? Stupid, stupid, stupid.
She closed the bedroom door as quietly as she could and let go of the breath she hadn't realized she was holding. She pulled her underwear over her sticky thighs and then put on her bra. She looked at her stockings and decided they were a lost cause, so she put them down while she slipped into her dress then held her shoes in one hand and the stockings bunched up in the other. She needed a shower and breakfast, but most of all, she needed to get out of here. Paula preferred to leave after sex and wasn't happy with the walk of shame she had to do this morning. It was different from leaving in the middle of the night—probably because it was daylight.
To her immense relief, her clutch was lying on the floor near the front door. She stuffed her stockings inside. She had no clue where Jim lived, but luckily, she knew Kansas City like the back of her hand. Paula opened the door and stepped out in the street. A quick assessment and she realized she didn't have to call a taxi. Although Jim lived in a better neighborhood than she did, it still was within easy walking distance of her house.
Paula started down the street. What had she been thinking? She wouldn't have gone home with a colleague if it hadn't been for the romance and excitement of the wedding. Why had she broken her rule with Jim Cagney? It had been an amazing one night stand, but would that be enough for her? If only he'd been an egotist and bad in the sack, like her ex, she'd be over him now. These thoughts were leading her nowhere. One night was all she could give him. She could deal with that, and Jim would have to. Paula's mind went back to the dominant and possessive way he'd handled her. She'd never had a man take control like that—she'd also never had such great sex before. What would it be like to have someone in bed like that all the time?
Her mind kept spinning all the way home, but reality returned as soon as she opened the front door. Her entryway and living room was piled high with boxes, loose papers, and books. She stepped around the obstacles, certain she'd never let Jim or anyone else see her place. Where Jim's place had been pristine, her house was a cluttered mess. She tried to clean and organize it, but whatever got done fell apart within a month. She never seemed to have the time or energy. It had been like this since she had moved back to Kansas City after her divorce.
She thought about taking a shower but decided she needed a run first. She put on her favorite shorts and an old Police Academy t-shirt and headed out. A good, long run would help clear her head. She found the MP3 player with her running playlist—she liked to start with Dio's Stand Up and Shout —and headed out the door.
She came back an hour later and jumped in the shower. After a quick rinse, Paula dressed for the day and headed to the kitchen. She pulled a yogurt out of her fridge and fixed a cup of strong, black coffee. She looked at her kitchen table, covered with several weeks of mail and decided to eat standing up. As she leaned against the refrigerator, she spooned the blueberry flavored yogurt into her mouth. Once she finished her breakfast, she placed the used mug and spoon in the sink and tossed the yogurt container in the trash. She needed to do the dishes. She was running out of silverware. Now, where had she put her phone? Oh, yeah, in that stupid clutch that went with the dress. What was wrong with pockets?
She checked her voicemail first. Two messages, neither of them urgent, but she had nine texts. What the hell? Laura had texted her twice.
1:14 am: Did I see you leave with Jim?
8:35 am: You have to tell me what happened.
Paula looked over them and fired off a quick response. Three messages from Kate.
8:23 am: 'Face Screaming in Fear' emoji—I left with Chris last night.
8:28 am: Did you spend the night with Jim?
8:29 am: Can you do coffee or lunch—'Folded Hands' emoji?
Paula thought for a moment. She could use a friend, and she didn't want to bother Laura. Since she and James had recently become foster parents, they weren't taking a honeymoon right away, but they were still newlyweds. Paula decided to read the other messages first. The next person in the list made her heart flutter—Jim Cagney. She hadn't given him her private number, had she?
8:16 am: Where are you?
How on earth did he get her number? Oh, right. She'd given it to him when they worked together on a case involving Laura the previous year.
8:19 am: You'd better have slipped out for Starbucks or something. 'Winking Face' emoji
8:59 am: Damn it, Paula
9:12 am: Garozzo's, tonight, I've made reservations for 7:00 pm
She couldn't think about Jim yet. She'd call Kate first.
Paula eyed her friend over the rim of her coffee cup. They were sitting in a corner booth at IHOP, both eating more carbs than they usually did.
"So if I understand correctly, you and Chris aren't compatible, except you are." Paula stared in confusion at Kate. "I don't get it."
Kate stirred her coffee and nodded, deep in thought. She slowly closed her eyes and pulled in a long, slow breath through her nose, held it, and let it escape. She opened her eyes, and Paula noticed how her beautiful green orbs glimmered and were surrounded by dark circles. She figured she didn't look much better, herself.
"It's hard to explain if you're not in the lifestyle," Kate said slowly.
Paula nodded. "The lifestyle, you mean that whips and chains stuff?"
Kate cocked her head to the side and she narrowed her eyes. "Not always whips and chains but, yes, the lifestyle. What do you know about BDSM?"
"Not much. I've seen Fifty Shades …" Paula held up her hands at the disgusted expression on Kate's face. "…and you're not the first one to tell me it isn't a good example of BDSM." She tapped her forefinger against her mouth and gathered what she knew about James and Laura. She came up empty; she didn't get it. She shrugged and looked over to Kate helplessly.
"Okay, let me try to explain. Laura and James are a D/s couple. 'D' stands for Dominant and 's' for submissive. The full acronym has a lot of meanings, and there are almost as many forms of BDSM as there are people who practice it. But let's stick to this part for now. James' need to dominate matches Laura's desire to submit. They fit together because their needs and wants fulfill each other." Kate took a small sip of coffee and continued. "Chris and I are both dominant, so we don't fit."
"I thought all dominants were men."
Kate looked at her quizzically and started laughing. "Okay, that shows you know next to nothing about BDSM. Dominants come in all sexes and orientations. It's not about men dominating women unless that's how both parties want it. Some people switch roles depending on mood or partner. Anyhow, Chris and I have incredible chemistry going on, and yesterday was one of the best sexual encounters I've had in my entire life, but we wouldn't work as a couple."
"This stuff is way more complicated than I realized.
But what's wrong with a night of hot sex?"
Kate's shoulders slumped, and Paula had to strain to catch her whispered, "Because I've been fucking in love with the man for as long as I've known him and I can't go back to the friend zone with him after this."
Paula had absolutely no clue what to say to that. She did know she couldn't bother Kate with her own trivial problems. She had to deal with Jim Cagney, and it wouldn't be by going to dinner with him.
Chapter 2
Paula decided she would avoid the 'Cagney problem,' as she thought of it, by hiding out at the precinct and catching up on her paperwork. She was pretty sure he wouldn't think of looking for her there. She was surprised to see her boss, Captain Walter Morris, also there. She poked her head into his office to say hello and let him know she wasn't there for overtime, then she went to her desk and got started with her paperwork. An hour later, she went back to his office.
She slammed the paper on her captain's desk and pointed to it. "I want it."
"It" was a request from the State Police Division of Drug and Crime Control for an undercover officer to investigate possible human trafficking linked to a police department in Southeast Missouri. The Division was chronically understaffed and these sorts of requests were not uncommon, but very few cops wanted to investigate other cops.
Captain Morris looked up at her from under his bristled eyebrows and then looked pointedly to the chair in front of his desk.
Paula crossed her arms in front of her but sank onto the chair without a sound. He was going to make her wait if only to annoy her. She couldn't really fault him for that. She'd barged into his office and sprung her demand on him.
The captain finished reading his report, placed his signature with a few practiced strokes, and closed the file he had been reading. He placed his hands on the folder and made eye contact with her. "Why?"
Paula bristled. "I'm qualified for the job and I care about human trafficking. I helped with those Latina girls in that ring we broke up last year. They'd been through hell."
Her captain sighed and ran a hand through his thinning hair. It was the only sign he was getting older. Unlike many other high ranking officers, he still had a lean and muscled body, even though he spent most of his working hours behind the desk that currently sat between them. "On paper, yes, and you speak Spanish. You've never done a long term undercover op, though. Are you sure you know what you're getting into? This is going after dirty cops. Most officers would look at this assignment as akin to joining the rat squad. Do you want that rep?"
"I don't care who's doing it. Human trafficking is evil and we need to take every opportunity to stop it, even if cops are involved. Especially if cops are involved."
He nodded. "Fair enough. But there's more to it than that. You don't turn up here on a Sunday afternoon to catch up on paperwork and then storm into my office with a flyer that's been circulating for the last two weeks with no takers. What I want to know is why you're so anxious to take it now?"
"I'd like to get away for a bit. I feel like I'm getting stale. This will be a change of pace for me." All of this was true, just not the main reason.
Paula looked at him. Captain Morris had been her mentor since she started at the Kansas City Police Department and had believed in her capabilities from day one. She knew people had frowned when he had encouraged her to take the sergeant's exam.
He narrowed his eyes at her. "If you're sure." He didn't sound convinced.
"Really, Captain." She tried to close the distance, with a more personal approach. "I need to get some distance from some things. This assignment is precisely what I need."
"You realize you'll be in deep cover and can't have any contact with your friends and colleagues?"
"Yes." Her gaze didn't waver as she met his stare head on.
"Fuck." He stood up, shoving his chair back. "I don't like it, but I must admit, you'd be great for the job." He settled back in his chair and again raked his hand through his hair. At this rate, he wouldn't have any hair left before he hit sixty. Paula's lips twitched as she tried to contain her laughter at the inappropriate thought. He scowled at her. "You can contain your glee. I'll make some calls and let you know. I have a friend who might be able to give us an answer today, but it will probably be tomorrow. The Drug and Crime Control people tend not to work on Sunday unless they're in the middle of an operation."
Paula nodded. "Thank you, sir." She was on her way to the door as his quiet voice halted her in her tracks.
"You know that people care about you here, don't you?"
She had no idea how she should answer his question. Did he expect an answer? She pretended she didn't hear him and opened the door. She didn't glance back but quickly closed the door.
Okay, so plan A to 'avoid Jim Cagney' was in motion. At least she hoped so, because she had no plan B.
Paula settled behind her desk and started to go through her current cases. She still had a hit and run from almost a year ago to solve. She didn't think much of her chances after all this time and considered moving it to the inactive files, but she decided against it. She could always do it when she got back—assuming she got the assignment.
She had two other active cases, a missing teenage girl, and a middle-aged man who was killed in what looked like a burglary gone wrong. Paula went over the available detectives in her mind to decide which ones would be the most suited and had room in their workload. She didn't want to dump both of them on her partner. Bill Christopher worked hard as it was and didn't need the additional cases. The last was always an issue. Paula felt a twinge of guilt about being gone for weeks or maybe even months. It would make things harder on her colleagues.
Her desk phone started ringing.
"Stone."
"Paula, you have the assignment. Could you come to my office and we'll discuss your absence?" Captain Morris said in his efficient way.
"Yes, sir!" Paula rose and went to her boss.
Jim stared down at his phone in frustration.
16:24 pm: Sorry, Jim. I'm going to be out of town for a few weeks.
He'd gotten the message an hour ago and had tried to get in contact with her since. Calling didn't work. Her phone went straight to voicemail.
He rubbed the back of his neck. Why wasn't she answering his calls? Given the night they'd had, the attraction wasn't one-sided. So why had she snuck out this morning?
Jim placed his phone on the table and leaned back in his chair. Who's the detective, man? What kind of evidence did he have? She had come home with him, so she was attracted. She responded immediately to his dominance, so she was submissive. But she was suspicious about the lifestyle. Okay, wary sub, he could deal with that; he just had to go slow. She was eight years older than he was, would that be a problem for her? Jim tried to remember who she'd dated. Fuck, she didn't date, at least nobody from the police department he knew. His head fell back against the backrest of the chair.
So, she'd run, eh? She had to return to Kansas City sometime, didn't she? Jim's lips turned up in a small smile. His years in the lifestyle had taught him a couple of things. One was the benefit of delayed gratification and how rewarding it could be.
"Hey, Mitch. Busy night?" Jim greeted his friend at the club door the following weekend.
The rigger and founding member shrugged. "Not really. Some unattached subs, Kate's here on DM duty. Bob is minding the bar for the early shift. I don't remember who has the late one. Chris may turn up, but the fucker is always late."
Jim laughed at that and shook his head. Chris wasn't always late, but he tended to get distracted by his work and customers or a cute waitress at the diner he frequented. Chris wasn't just a womanizer, though. He really was interested in people, and when you had his attention, it was undivided.
"Oh, Mitch, one other thing. Now I'm attending the club regularly again, can you put me back on the schedule? I'd be happy to take on DM duties any time."
Mitch sounded pleased. "Will do, man. Thanks for the help. If you're interest
ed in starting right away, how about you shadow Kate tonight? She comes on at ten. It'll give you some time to relax or play first."
"Thanks, Mitch. I'll do that."
Jim knew how much Mitch had invested in the club and still was investing. The fees were moderate, and one way they accomplished that was by having the members volunteer. The club was private and you could only become a member by recommendation of a current member or by attending the local munch and getting invited. Bob Lyons, who had sponsored Jim's membership, volunteered at the bar. He told Jim it was a great way for him to talk with the attendees and select his play partners. Jim preferred to be more in the background but would do whatever was needed. He wanted to help out as much as possible and give something back to the community that had helped him heal after his discharge from the military.
Jim walked inside and went to the locker room to change into his leathers. Peter, a club submissive, stood in white boxers with a red cross on them and was fixing a red tie around his neck. Jim nodded and got a 'good evening, Sir' back. Jim tried to be open to all, but that had not been pretty in his opinion. Peter resembled a laughing Buddha, with his round face, easy smile and protruding belly and that outfit—well, maybe some Domme would like it. Jim finished buttoning his burgundy silk shirt and putting his black ankle boots back on. He placed his folded street clothes in the locker and closed it.
As he neared the bar, the complacent voice of Trent Reznor, who whisper-sang the words of Hurt reached his ears. Jim wasn't really into industrial rock, but this was a strong song in his opinion. He wondered who put together the club's playlists. The music always seemed to fit whatever mood he was in. He received a chin lift from Kate and spotted Julie and Ruby at the bar in deep conversation with Bob. Both women were submissive and unattached, although Jim had only seen Julie with Mitch. Jim sauntered over to Kate first.
