Lost and Found in Paris

by Lost

‘I do. It was stunning. Magazine-worthy.’

  ‘Well, I put my foot down about that. And I don’t think Esther has ever forgiven me.’ Pinter ordered another bottle of wine. ‘But anyway. Today is about hair, nails, massages and lashes. And probably some other lady things I’m not privy too.’

  Sophie smiled. She loved Pinter and Esther’s relationship. It made her heart feel rather heavy today, but she aspired to their happiness. ‘I feel as though I need to book myself into a salon now. Even though I’m there to photograph, not as a guest.’

  ‘You’re both,’ Pinter protested. ‘Esther’s sister, Savannah, loves you.’

  ‘I’ll be working,’ Sophie said firmly. ‘I won’t sit down and eat or anything. I think they want a few photos on the dancefloor in the evening, don’t they?’

  ‘God, probably,’ Pinter sighed. ‘Savannah is even more high-maintenance than Esther.’

  ‘That’s fine. It’s her wedding day. She can do what she likes… be a diva, whatever.’

  Pinter guffawed. ‘Savannah is always a diva. No, seriously, it should be a great day tomorrow. I’m looking forward to it.’

  ‘Me too.’ Sophie sipped her wine. She didn’t want a hangover tomorrow, but at the same time, she really needed a drink today.

  Pinter took the liberty of ordering some pâté and French bread. ‘Oooh I fancy some escargots too. Do you eat snails, Soph? You do? Esther freaks out if I order them.’ He did so gleefully and rubbed his hands together. ‘How exciting!’

  ‘I love how easily pleased you are,’ Sophie commented with a grin. ‘A plate of snails and anyone would think you’ve won the lottery. They’re not my favourite thing; but I’ll share a plate with you. By the way look at this message from my mum about the launch.’

  Pinter read it.

  Chérie, that sounds wonderful. I hope I can be there. I can’t tell you how proud I am that you have done all of this without me and that you have grown into such a confident, intelligent woman. I hope Raff has helped with all the work and that Fifi isn’t being too bossy. I love you very much and can’t wait to see you. Xxx.

  ‘Lovely. Those messages are very eloquent.’

  ‘Yes.’ Sophie frowned at it. All of the messages were eloquent. Beautifully worded and spoken from the heart. Very open, too. Which was how her mum was. Kind of. But also not. Hmmm…

  ‘Show me your photos of Paris,’ Pinter said.

  Sophie produced them and sat drinking her wine while Pinter leafed through them.

  ‘Exquisite,’ he ruminated. ‘Really. I love both the colour, and the black and white ones. And you’ve found some interesting new angles, which is hard to do when anything has been photographed as much as these monuments have.’

  ‘Thank you.’

  ‘And the other thing that really shows is how much you love this place.’

  Sophie picked up a photograph of Notre-Dame. ‘How so?’

  ‘You won’t be able to spot it,’ Pinter said. ‘It’s just something I always notice with photographs. It’s like… someone putting love into cooking. Do you know what I mean? Someone can be a good technical cook, but put nothing of themselves into the food.’

  ‘Y-es…’

  ‘Whereas someone else can flood that recipe with everything they have. Put their heart and soul into it, so much care and attention that you can taste it.’

  Sophie propped her sunglasses on the top of her head. ‘That’s all very flowery, Pinter. And I kind of get where you’re coming from. But I don’t see how my photos show how much I love Paris.’

  ‘Then you’ll have to take my word for it, Sophie. Because I can always tell when you love something you photograph. It leaps out of the image – like an expression on someone’s face. It’s plain for me to see, at any rate.’

  He carefully laid a black and white photograph of Raff concentrating on making a batch of macarons on the top of the pile.

  Sophie blushed and said nothing.

  ‘So what else is new?’ Pinter asked with an innocent expression.

  Sophie raised her eyebrow again, partly to make him jealous. ‘Stop it, Pint. You know what’s new. And if you have something to say about it, I’d rather you just said it.’

  Pinter tore up a piece of fresh French bread that had just arrived. ‘Still warm. Divine. Fair enough. Ok, well. I wanted to speak to you about Raff.’

  ‘What about him?’ Sophie took a gulp of wine. She needed it.

  ‘I know you’re cross with him about that whole Estelle thing, but…’

  ‘Only because he didn’t mention it,’ she interrupted. ‘Because now it looks shady. And I hate anything shady.’

  Pinter swallowed a chunk of bread. ‘Who doesn’t? But you must know that Estelle is a troublemaker. She has it written all over her. I think Raff was doing his best to deter her from coming and hoped she wouldn’t.’

  ‘He still should have mentioned it’ – Sophie shrugged – ‘in the interests of honesty.’

  ‘Yes, indeed. But I think he was hoping she would stay away,’ Pinter explained earnestly, ‘which is stupid, but it’s what we men do: bury our heads in the sand a tad. He did say that Coco goes off the rails when her mum turns up. Ravishing girl, isn’t she?’

  ‘She’s lovely,’ Sophie agreed, feeling a spark of interest. ‘What did he mean about Coco going off the rails?’

  ‘I’m not sure. This pâté looks good. Try some.’ Pinter smeared a dollop onto a hunk of French bread. ‘Get your chops around that. She changed though, didn’t she, when Estelle turned up. Even I noticed that and I’m a mere man.’

  Sophie munched on the pâté. ‘God, that is good. I suppose she did, yes, thinking about it. She seemed… more vulnerable, somehow.’

  ‘Exactly that. She suddenly looked younger and anxious.’ Pinter patted his stomach. ‘I don’t know how I stay so trim. I’ll have to find space for the snails as well. And fit into my suit tomorrow.’

  ‘You stay trim because you work out quite a bit,’ Sophie told him distractedly. Pinter was right. Coco had changed when Estelle turned up. And she had no idea what that meant exactly, but it meant that Estelle’s presence definitely caused drama or, at the very least, change.

  Sophie supposed that Raff’s worry over Coco could have caused him to try and deter Estelle’s visit, but she still didn’t understand why he hadn’t mentioned it to her. He must know that the whole subject of Estelle was touchy because of last time.

  ‘Will you tell me what happened when you left Paris last time?’ Pinter asked gently. ‘No judgement.’

  ‘Ok.’ Sophie took a deep breath. She hadn’t really talked about leaving Paris to anyone much before. Her mum briefly, Eloise a little. Jo had been a shoulder to cry on. She started hesitantly and then got more into her stride. She was brutally honest with Pinter about everything. Every single detail. How she had felt about Raff, what they had, how she’d seen their future. And finally what had happened after Estelle had turned up.

  ‘Do you understand?’ Sophie asked Pinter solemnly. ‘I was so in love with him. And I mean, totally and utterly, head over heels, besotted, blindly and desperately. Estelle turned up with Coco, out of the blue. And it knocked me for six.’

  ‘Of course,’ Pinter said, struggling to pluck a snail from its shell. ‘But why didn’t you trust Raff when he said he knew nothing about Coco? Why were you so quick to doubt him?’

  Sophie looked away. ‘Because Estelle told me Raff knew. She told me he knew all about Coco and that he’d shirked his responsibilities.’

  Pinter shook his head. ‘She’s not a nice girl. Very messed up. Oh, the garlic butter in these! But still. I don’t understand and I apologise, but you know Raff. You knew him. You must have known he wasn’t that kind of man. He’s decent and good; he’s not the kind to run away from something like that.’

  Sophie stared at him. ‘It wasn’t just Estelle who said that Raff knew. Coco said the same thing.’

  ‘Coco?’ Pinter paused with a snail halfway to his mouth. ‘What did she
say?’

  ‘What her mum said. That daddy knew about her and didn’t want her.’

  Pinter recoiled. ‘Oh that’s bad. That’s really, really bad. And super-manipulative.’

  Sophie nodded tiredly. ‘This is the thing. It was either… accuse a little girl of lying or just get out of there, Pinter. I had no idea what was going on between Raff and Estelle, but I didn’t want any part of the drama. Either Estelle was brainwashing Coco into believing that her dad rejected her – or maybe Coco genuinely believed it – or Raff was lying.’

  ‘So you pulled out of it and left them all to it.’

  ‘Yes.’ Sophie took a gulp of wine. ‘Rightly or wrongly, I didn’t want to get into a massive row over a child’s word. I didn’t want to put her on the spot and accuse her of lying. But equally, I suppose I had doubts about Raff as well. Not because of who he is as such, but because of his involvement with someone like Estelle, who would have always continued to pop up in our lives because of Coco.’

  ‘So you didn’t know that Estelle had left Coco with Raff?’ Pinter asked. ‘That she had absconded shortly after that, dumping her own daughter on him?’

  Sophie shook her head. ‘He tried to get in touch with me, but I wouldn’t speak to him.’ Tears sprang into her eyes. ‘I feel awful about it, but I just couldn’t get my head around it. Maybe I was just jealous, Pinter. I wanted to have a baby with Raff. Further down the line, obviously, but that’s what I wanted. I felt devastated that he’d shared that with anyone else and I know that must sound really pathetic, but it’s honestly how I felt at the time.’

  Pinter topped up their wine. ‘No, I get that. I’d feel like that about Esther. I don’t even know if we’ll have children because it suits us not to right now, but I’d hate it if she’d done that with someone else. It’s… too intimate a bond, isn’t it? It’s sharing something that no one else can be a part of.’

  ‘That’s it, Pinter! That’s exactly it. Throw into the mix Estelle being utterly gorgeous and telling me Raff was a bad father, letting her down when she needed him the most… and a little girl giving me the big eyes and saying her daddy knew about her and didn’t want her…’

  ‘It was too much.’ Pinter put his hand over hers kindly. ‘Don’t beat yourself up, darling. That’s a horrible situation. Does Raff know all the details?’

  Sophie shook her head and wiped her eyes. ‘Not exactly. I’ve said a few things, but not everything.’

  ‘And what about Coco? Have you mentioned what she said to you?’

  ‘No. She told me recently Raff didn’t know anything about her until they turned up that time and I expected her to say something about it to Raff then. And when she didn’t, I just left it. I didn’t want to start accusing her or anything when we were getting on so well.’

  ‘Odd though. Ah well, I’m sure it will all become clear soon enough.’

  Sophie sipped her wine. ‘I don’t know where I stand with Raff. I don’t know what any of it means, Pinter. My whole life is so confusing right now. Mum, Raff, Estelle, Coco. Ryan, even…’

  ‘You two need to talk,’ Pinter said decisively. ‘You and Raff. You need to be honest and talk about all of this stuff. He would understand that, I’m sure.’ He leant forward. ‘I think you love this man very much, Sophie, and I will be very upset if you two can’t sort this out. Because he loves you and would do anything not to lose you.’

  ‘How do you know that?’ Sophie felt like crying all over again.

  ‘Because I bloody well do, alright? Because his eyes say so rather than his words… because of the way he is around you. Because we both know that Estelle is behind all that awful stuff all those years ago and that she must have convinced Coco that Raff deserted them and that’s why Coco was probably primed to say those things.’

  Pinter moved the snails out of the way. ‘Sophie, this is worth saving. Do not let it get away from you again.’

  Sophie put her face in her hands. ‘I don’t want to let it go again; I promise you. But I’m so scared. Scared of trusting him again and it all going wrong. Scared that Estelle might have been telling the truth, even though deep down I do know that she wasn’t. Scared that she has some sort of weird hold over Raff and that he might think he should be with her and not me.’

  ‘Well, that last one is madness,’ Pinter said dismissively. ‘Raff doesn’t have any feelings whatsoever for Estelle; I can assure you of that. That’s one thing I can say with good authority because I’m a man and I can spot the signs and we are all very stupid creatures, but I know my own species.’

  Sophie couldn’t help smiling.

  ‘You’re smiling and crying at the same time… does that mean a rainbow appears? Or a unicorn trots up?’ Pinter laughed. ‘Listen. The only bond those two people have is Coco. And Coco lives with her father and loves him very much. And I think she couldn’t be happier that you two have fallen in love all over again.’

  Sophie breathed out slowly. ‘God. You make it all sound so simple.’ Her phone beeped and she frowned at it.

  ‘Raff?’

  ‘Ryan. Voice message.’

  ‘Play it,’ Pinter insisted. ‘Let’s see what that silly sod has to say for himself.’

  Sophie obliged.

  Hey, Sophie. How are you? Listen, I’ve been thinking about everything since I’ve been in Dubai and although it’s great here, something is missing. It’s you.

  Pinter pulled a dramatic ‘I’m going to be sick’ face. Sophie ignored him.

  I’m missing you too much. It was a mistake coming here. I think we should talk. And I think we need to talk about our future. About the plans we had.

  There was a pause.

  I still have the engagement ring, Soph. And I’m willing to come to Paris with it and make it official. If I don’t hear back from you by tomorrow night, I’ll assume you want me to come and see you. With the ring.

  The message ended.

  ‘Mon Dieu,’ Pinter said flatly.

  ‘I was thinking more “bloody hell”,’ Sophie said.

  ‘That’s a curveball. Or is it?’

  ‘I really don’t know.’

  Sophie downed her glass of wine. What the hell was she supposed to do with that?

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Sophie juggled her camera and a smoked salmon and horseradish cream canapé, almost dropping both. She hadn’t eaten all day and she had to snack on something.

  ‘How’s it going?’ Esther asked, looking glorious in a bright yellow midi dress, black sandals and a black fascinator pinned to the side of her head.

  ‘Very well, I think,’ Sophie said. She popped the canapé in her mouth whole and flicked through some photos on her camera for Esther to see.

  ‘Oooh, they’re gorgeous!’ Esther looked delighted. ‘Oh, Sophie, Savannah will be so pleased. Those ones of her getting ready are beautiful.’

  ‘The dress is breathtaking,’ Sophie commented. ‘It was easy to get beautiful shots.’

  ‘If rather inappropriate.’ Esther pulled a face. ‘Savannah doesn’t observe the boobs or legs rule, does she?’

  Sophie grinned. She didn’t, but she looked fabulous, so who cared? Her dress plunged at the front, making the most of her cleavage and it was cut short at the front, showing off her knees and just above. But she had the most fantastic figure and she looked incredible, so Sophie was fairly sure everyone would forgive her for having lots of tanned flesh on display.

  ‘If you’ve got it flaunt it, I say.’

  Esther hurried over to Savannah to update her about her photographs.

  Sophie was pleased with her photographs from the day so far. And it was an extremely good distraction from Raff. And Ryan. Sophie’s stomach flipped over at the thought of Ryan’s message the day before. What on earth had he been thinking? Why had he suddenly changed his mind and what had made him think she wanted him to hotfoot it over to Paris with the engagement ring he had refused to give her all those months ago? It would be laughable if it wasn’t so ridiculous. Sop
hie had put it out of her mind and focused on the wedding.

  She had got up at the crack of dawn to get half ready and then she had got herself over to the Shangri-La Hotel. She had been present while Savannah and her six bridesmaids got ready, taking some candid shots of them with their hair in rollers and while the make-up artist worked on them. She had managed to get some cute shots of all of their shoes and their bouquets, and some black and white ones of the youngest bridesmaid who was very photogenic and loved posing in her frothy peach-coloured dress. Savannah was as beautiful as Esther, also a model and well versed in posing and offering her best angles. In short, she had been a joy to photograph and she made Sophie’s job feel easy.

  Sophie had then taken some photos of Mason, Savannah’s handsome husband-to-be with his best man and ushers, although they had been rather more interested in getting down to the bar than posing for wedding photos. Mason had handed out some money clips to his ushers and Sophie had then left them to it so she could quickly get ready in Savannah’s room. Throwing on a one-shouldered silk dress in a vivid shade of purple, she had teamed it with nude sandals, and a nude clutch that she had left with Esther somewhere.

  The ceremony had been short but emotional, with some beautiful vows from both sides. Savannah and Mason had sat upon chairs in a pagoda covered in white roses and adorned with huge white candles in glass jars. Savannah had cried but not enough to smudge her make-up, and Mason had endearingly looked rather choked up as well. Sophie had taken even more photographs of the happy couple, and now canapés and champagne were doing the rounds and she was giving them some space without a camera shoved in their faces for a while.

  ‘Have you messaged Ryan yet telling him not to come?’ Pinter said in her ear.

  She swatted him away. ‘No, not yet. But not because I don’t want to, but because I haven’t got time.’

  Pinter looked unimpressed. ‘I would have sent a text last night personally. Do you want him turning up like a wet weekend brandishing a diamond in your face?’

  ‘Of course not. And he’s not a wet weekend.’