by Lost
‘Ok then. He’s a plonker.’
Sophie nudged him. ‘We get it. You’re team Raff all the way and you want to put Ryan on the subs bench.’
‘I don’t even want him on the subs bench if I’m honest,’ Pinter said directly. ‘But I’m worried you do.’
‘What? Don’t be daft.’
‘So text him.’
‘I will. Where’s my phone?’
‘Esther has it.’ Pinter looked around vaguely. ‘But I don’t know where she is or where your bag is. But I’ll hunt it down for you. The last thing you want is Ryan turning up when you’re trying to sort things out with Raff. He’s coming here later by the way.’
‘Of course he is. You’re head of the Raphael fan club.’
‘Does he have one?’ Pinter said, playing along. ‘If so, I’ll become a fully paid-up member. Don’t be jealous darling; I love you more.’
Sophie let out a breath of frustration. She didn’t want to deal with any of it: Ryan, Raff, Estelle.
‘Lovely dress, by the way,’ Pinter commented. ‘Super hot.’
‘Thanks. Good suit. Glad you got into it after all those snails and French bread.’
‘Naughty, naughty, darling.’ Pinter kissed her cheek. ‘I think it’s time for food. I’ll find your phone as soon as I can.’
Sophie ignored him and prepped her camera.
* * *
A few hours later, the guests were being entertained by a jazz trio as the day turned into night and Sophie was having a much-needed sit down with a glass of champagne in a quiet corner of the Grand Salon. The guests had dined already and Sophie had taken lots of photographs; she had then used up an entire memory card to capture the bride and groom on La Terrace Eiffel, because it was such a beautiful sunny day and there was just so much to photograph. The views were gorgeous, the couple were gorgeous and Sophie’s job had been incredibly easy and fun. She would pop out onto the terrace again shortly as the lights came on in the heart of Paris and she wanted to capture the Eiffel Tower at night as well as during the day.
Sophie tucked into a four-course meal prepared by the Michelin-starred chef at the hotel, amazed at the quality of the food. An exquisite smoked duck starter followed by sea bass with scallops, prawns and a wonderful sauce Sophie suspected had taken days to create. Some tender pink lamb with a light redcurrant sauce and tiny garlicky balls of fondant-style potato that looked as though they had been individually crafted by hand, accompanied by fresh vegetables, each with its own delicate, unique flavours.
Savannah had chosen the Nutcracker as her dessert, which was a mouth-watering shortbread chocolate biscuit with praline, mousse and chocolate icing, as well as a majestic orange-blossom-flavoured Croquembouche as the wedding cake.
Sophie sipped her champagne. It had been a beautiful wedding and one that Sophie would have been happy to attend simply as a guest as well. The photography had been straightforward due to both the bride and groom being very easy on the eye –which made more of a difference than people might think in terms of getting fewer shots but all of them being worthy of choice – but also because the surroundings were so stunning. Sophie hadn’t had to work hard to find good angles or the best lighting; every angle was fantastic and all of the lighting was flattering. And the whole wedding had been wonderfully distracting. Sophie was aware that she needed to check her phone soon and get back to Ryan, but for now she was still focused on work.
Finishing her food, Sophie switched to a different lens and went outside to get some more shots as the lights were coming on in the city. Guests gasped as the Eiffel Tower suddenly lit up with dazzling yellow-hued lights, and Sophie got busy with her camera. There was the cutting of the cake – not that they actually cut the gigantic Croquembouche, just posed with it – and the first dance, all of which Sophie captured. As a hip young DJ took over from the jaunty jazz trio, guests started to hit the dancefloor, especially the ones who had drunk more champagne from others. Sophie discreetly moved around the dance floor taking some candid shots. She made sure she had plenty of Savannah and Mason dancing together and with their bridesmaids and ushers respectively.
‘Do you have everything?’ Pinter asked as she threw herself into a chair.
‘I hope so,’ Sophie said, letting out a breath. ‘I’m shattered!’
‘I’m not surprised. You worked really hard today. I finally found your bag. It had somehow ended up in our room upstairs.’
Sophie rested her camera on a nearby table then thought better of it and put it in her camera bag. Handing it to a member of staff, she turned back to Pinter. ‘Thanks. I wouldn’t have been able to check it until now anyway.’ She pulled her phone out and frowned.
‘What’s up?’ Pinter grabbed two glasses of champagne from a passing waiter and led Sophie outside onto a quiet corner of the terrace.
‘I have a few missed calls from Coco. I hope she’s ok.’
Pinter looked apprehensive. ‘Do you think she’s… gone off the rails, or however Raff described it?’
‘I don’t know,’ Sophie said, already dialling her. ‘No answer. God. I’ll try again.’
‘Leave a message,’ Pinter urged. ‘Has Raff called?’
Sophie shook her head. There was no answer again so she left a short message saying she was worried, asking Coco to call her as soon as possible.
‘Maybe it’s nothing to be concerned about,’ Pinter said, not sounding as though he believed a word he was saying. ‘Oh look, Raff is here.’
‘With Estelle,’ Sophie said, her heart sinking. Estelle looked stunning in an emerald-green dress that made the most of her colouring and put Savannah’s cleavage and leg faux pas to shame. Sophie stared at her. Despite Pinter doing a very good job of convincing her that Raff wasn’t interested in Estelle, Sophie still struggled to believe it. Seeing Estelle again made her want to panic and run, just like she had the last time.
How many more times would Estelle be coming back to visit? Surely this wouldn’t be the only time? Sophie wasn’t sure she was staying in Paris yet, but the thought of Estelle being a constant visitor filled her with dread.
‘Yes, that’s weird that they’ve arrived together,’ Pinter said, his brow furrowed.
‘I just don’t think she will ever go away, Pinter,’ Sophie said glumly. ‘And I’m not giving up or giving in or running away. But it doesn’t feel good, is all I’m saying.’
‘I get it,’ Pinter nodded. ‘But don’t you let her ruin everything, Sophie,’ he warned. ‘Because it’s happened once before and you can’t let it happen again. Trust Raff. Trust him.’
Sophie gritted her teeth. She knew that Pinter was right. But Estelle had this ability to unnerve her. It might be the negative association she brought with her: five years ago, Estelle’s presence had destroyed Sophie’s world. Or had Sophie allowed Estelle to do that, now that she thought about it? Was it not about Sophie’s reaction to Estelle as much as about Estelle’s herself? Sophie suddenly felt stronger.
Raff spotted them and made a beeline in their direction. ‘Hey.’ He looked somewhat put out, but his face softened when he was next to Sophie. ‘How did it go today? You look amazing. And you, Pinter. Very smart.’
‘Have you heard from Coco?’ Sophie and Pinter said in unison.
‘No. Why?’ Raff immediately looked panicked and took out his phone.
‘What’s going on?’ Estelle said.
‘We’re worried about Coco,’ Sophie said shortly. ‘It might be nothing, but she’s left a few messages for me and she’s not answering her phone now.’
‘I’m supposed to be meeting her for dinner,’ Estelle said, pouting.
‘That’s why Estelle is here with me,’ Raff explained swiftly. ‘We haven’t come here together; she’s waiting for Coco.’ He called Coco. ‘No answer.’
‘Can you think of anywhere she might be?’ Pinter asked, going into practical mode. ‘She might not be missing as such – just with friends or something.’
‘Why wouldn’t she answ
er her phone?’ Raff turned to Estelle. ‘She did this last time you were here.’
Estelle looked petulant. ‘I don’t know why you’re blaming me.’
Raff looked furious. ‘I don’t want Coco’s life disrupted. She’s happy, Estelle. We have a good life here in Paris. She’s the model kid. And the only time she does stuff like this is when you turn up. I don’t know why, but it happens every time.’
Pinter exchanged a glance with Sophie. Sophie felt her heart thumping in her chest. For some reason, this felt like a significant moment.
‘I’m her mother,’ Estelle said angrily.
‘You’re her biological mother,’ Raff snapped. ‘And that’s about it. You left her with your mum until your mum said she couldn’t look after her any more and then you realised you had no other choice but to let me know for the first time since Coco was born that I was her dad so you could leave her with me all those years ago.’
‘I-I…’
‘That’s exactly how it happened,’ Raff said firmly. ‘You know it and I know it. You’ve never wanted to be a mother to Coco. You turn up when you please and upset her. She’s the most balanced, most amazing kid you could ever meet. Until you get here.’
Pinter slipped his arm around Sophie’s shoulder and squeezed it, knowing she would be devastated to hear what she was hearing. Sophie felt a stab of fury at hearing proof that Estelle had deliberately lied to her.
Estelle met her eyes warily.
‘You told me Raff knew about Coco,’ Sophie blurted out before she could stop herself. ‘You told me he was a bad father and that he didn’t want to know his own daughter.’
Raff gaped. ‘What? What? You said that to her?’ He clutched his hair. ‘Oh Sophie. No wonder you left. No wonder you thought I was a waste of space. Why didn’t you tell me? We could have sorted this out so quickly. It all makes sense now.’ He turned back to Estelle. ‘Can you see what you’ve done? What you’ve caused?’
‘I didn’t exactly say that—’ Estelle started.
Pinter let go of Sophie’s shoulder and cut in. ‘I think it’s time you stopped telling lies and put Coco first.’ He turned to Raff. ‘Let’s leave all of this for another time and focus on Coco. Why don’t you go and wait in the restaurant for her?’ he said to Estelle, his expression telling her exactly what he thought of her. ‘Raff, Sophie, go look for her. Leave me Coco’s number and I’ll keep calling.’
Raff was galvanised into action. ‘Ok. Estelle, do as Pinter says. Sophie, let’s go.’
Looking furious, Estelle turned on her heels. Raff grabbed Sophie’s hand and they walked quickly through the beautiful lobby and straight outside.
‘Where might she be?’ Raff said despairingly. ‘I can’t lose her, Sophie. I just can’t.’
‘You won’t lose her,’ Sophie reassured him firmly. She thought for a moment. ‘Let’s call Henri and put him on alert in case she turns up at home. He might find a clue in her room as to where she is.’
Raff was already dialling. ‘Dad? Is Coco there?’ His face fell. ‘No, it’s ok. It’s just that she’s not answering her phone. Yes, I do think it’s because her mother is here. You’ll call yes? Check her room? Good.’
‘Not there.’
‘Right.’ Sophie wished she’d brought her jacket with her; it was chilly.
Raff took his off and put it round her shoulders. ‘What about that friend of hers, Aimee, is it? The one she does her homework with.’
‘Worth a try. But you won’t have her number, surely?’
‘Not hers, but I have her mum’s number. They used to have sleepovers when they were younger.’ Raff called Aimee’s mum and rapidly explained. ‘Allo. It’s Raff, Coco’s dad.’ He spoke quickly. ‘Aimee spoke to her? And she sounded upset. Ok, thanks for telling me. Yes, if you could please.’
He came off the phone and wrung his hands. ‘Mon Dieu. This is awful. She’s done this a few times before.’
‘Ok.’ Sophie squeezed his hand hard to stop him shaking. ‘And where did she go?’
‘Different places,’ Raff said, racking his brains to remember. ‘Another friend’s house one of the times. My place of work another time because she thought I was working late.’
He met Sophie’s eye.
‘Could she be at the macaron shop?’ Sophie said, already dialling Fifi.
‘It’s worth a try,’ Raff said. He raced to the front of the hotel and hailed a taxi. Giving the address in clipped tones, he glanced at Sophie who was talking to Fifi.
‘Ok, if you could check please. Call me back?’ She shook her head. ‘She doesn’t think she’s there, but it’s all closed up because of the renovations. She’s going to have a proper look for us now though.’
Raff put his head in his heads. ‘I could actually be sick.’
‘I know,’ Sophie rubbed his back. ‘I feel horribly worried myself and she’s not my child.’
‘You’re very close,’ Raff said, lifting his head. ‘I’ve never seen her bond with anyone the way she has with you.’
‘I don’t even want to ask about previous girlfriends,’ Sophie smiled.
Raff shook his head. ‘Not that many to comment on and that’s the truth. And no one Coco was ever fond of. Not the way she is of you. It’s… almost like you’re a second mum to her, but a friend at the same time.’
Sophie’s phone rang; it was Fifi.
‘She’s there? Oh thank God. She’s there, Raff.’
Raff took the phone out of Sophie’s hands. ‘Fifi, please don’t let her move an inch. Not one inch. We’ll be there in… ten minutes, maybe five.’ He ended the call. ‘I’m going to kill her.’
‘You’re not. You’re going to hug her and tell her how much you love her and you’re not going to let go of her.’
Raff sat back in his seat, relief flooding through every pore. ‘Yes. You’re right.’ He grabbed Sophie’s hand again. ‘I can’t believe Estelle said those things to you all those years ago. Hang on.’ He sent a curt text to Estelle telling her Coco was safe and advised her to go back to her hotel.
Sophie bit her lip. ‘I can’t believe I left all those years ago without giving you a chance to explain, Raff. I feel so terrible about it still.’
Raff kissed her. ‘Don’t. Estelle can be so convincing. I’ve believed her in the past about lots of different things. But she’s a liar and she says whatever she needs to get her way.’
‘I can see that now. At the time, I just thought you had this child with someone else, that you’d maybe rejected, and I was jealous and I’m really ashamed of that.’
‘Jealous?’ Raff looked confused.
‘It was something I wanted with you,’ Sophie confessed, feeling emotional. ‘And you’d shared it with someone else and it hurt me. I know that sounds stupid.’
Raff turned to face her properly. ‘No, it doesn’t. Not at all. I understand that. And it’s what I wanted with you. Want with you, if I can say that.’
Sophie felt a rush of excitement at the thought of them having a baby one day in the future. She had no idea how any of this would come about or even if it could, but just for a moment, she was going to be thrilled at the thought of it.
Raff was speaking again. ‘But you have to know: I had no part in the whole thing apart from… you know, the obvious bit. Sorry, but you know what I mean.’
‘Yep.’ Sophie dismissed that image from her mind. But she knew what Raff meant.
‘But I had nothing to do with the pregnancy or when Coco was a baby. I honestly had no knowledge of her until she turned up that day with Estelle. It was the most shocking thing I’d gone through. And then you left. All I wish is that you’d told me what Estelle said to you. I honestly believe we could have sorted this out and avoided losing all this time together.’
‘Don’t.’ Sophie kissed him and he kissed her back, urgently. ‘I can’t bear the thought of it. All that wasted time and the misunderstandings and… why didn’t I speak to you?’
‘Stop.’ Raff put a hand up. ‘I
should have known Estelle had something to do with it… that she had interfered. I know her and you don’t; I don’t blame you for doubting me, Sophie. It was all so shocking at the time. But it’s done and it’s in the past. I wish you’d believed in me, but I know what Estelle can be like. If only I could have explained… anyway, we’re here.’
Raff paid the driver and they jumped out of the taxi. Inside the house, they found Coco curled up on the sofa with a soft cashmere blanket wrapped around her. She was cradling a cup of something and she looked about ten. Her eyes were wide and she was make-up free.
‘Hot milk with honey,’ Fifi said, coming in. ‘She was in the cafe, trying to make herself a drink and she needed some space. But it’s cold in there tonight so we’re warming her up. I’ve put a fresh pot of coffee on for us.’
‘Coco.’ Raff stopped in front of his daughter and dropped to his knees.
‘Dad.’ Coco started crying and Fifi took the hot milk out of her hands. ‘I’m so sorry…’
‘You can’t keep doing this to me,’ Raff said, gathering her up in his arms. ‘You’re my baby. My heart can’t take it.’
Coco put her head on his shoulder. ‘Sorry, Dad. It’s just that when mum gets here, I can’t cope… and I don’t even know why. I think I want her to be a mum and she doesn’t want that and it hurts, and I want to run away and get away from her.’
‘Ok, but you have to talk about it, Coco.’ Raff lifted her chin. ‘You have to talk to me about these things. Not just disappear.’
‘I’m sorry,’ Coco said, crying again. ‘It’s just that this time, it was even worse.’
‘What, with your mum coming back? Why?’ Raff hadn’t a clue what Coco was getting at.
Coco looked at Sophie but couldn’t meet her eyes properly. Sophie suddenly guessed what might be bothering her and she shook her head rapidly, urging Coco to stay quiet. But to no avail.
‘No, I want to say it,’ Coco said bravely. ‘Dad, when Mum first turned up with me, she made me do something. I’d buried it so far down that when Sophie mentioned the incident to me, I honestly didn’t even remember it at first. But then when mum came back, it all came flooding back to me and that’s why I ran away. I just feel so guilty…’ She started crying.
