by Mia Mills
I take a deep breath and nod, “Alright. I’m listening.”
“We don’t know what he told her. And while that makes things difficult, we can think back on what happened at the hotel. At some point while we were talking to her, she flipped out. I don’t know why it set her off. But obviously it has something to do with the audition tapes.” He licks his lips, “The last question she asked was how much we paid the guy to stop harassing her, but what if she thought we were just paying him for the tapes?”
“That’s all she cared about. I didn’t want to tell her because she might base her worth on how much I paid Marco. Even though I paid him to stop harassing her and not just because he was going to release the tapes.” I shake my head, “I should have explained it to her. I shouldn’t have let my emotions get the better of me. She was already panicking, I made it worse.”
“We both didn’t know what would make her angry, we didn’t know what happened. Don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault that guy keeps coming after her.” Evan holds his hands together and tightens his grip, “But it’ll be our fault if we let her keep believing that we didn’t do it to protect her.”
“You’re right. But how do we explain something when we don’t know what we’re supposed to be defending? What if we say something wrong?”
Evan leans back into the sofa and stares at the ceiling, “I’m not sure. But there’s one thing I’m sure of. We only have one chance to set things straight.”
I blink, puzzled, “What do you mean, one chance?”
He looks me in the eyes, “The premiere. It’s the only place from now where we’ll be in the same room with her. And since it’s in public, she doesn’t have any choice but to stay and hear us out.”
My mouth is agape, I didn’t think of pulling off anything at the premiere. I was too focused on trying to fix it immediately before that day came. But Evan has a point, we can tie things up there and then. We just have to make sure not to screw anything up.
I feel hope rise inside me and I breathe again, not knowing that I was holding it in, “Alright. One last chance.”
“Yep.” Evan flashes his lopsided smile, and I remember how long it’s been since I’ve seen him smile for real.
I smile back, “So...what’s the plan?”
Willow
Tonight is the night my life changes. Inside the limo, I take a swig of whiskey to calm my nerves. I keep making sure I have my phone and that I haven’t forgotten anything important. But it’s not like there’s anything else needed for this event but my presence.
I’m worried at what I’ll do when I get there and see the twins have gotten there before me. I’d be trapped. It’s not like I can get back in the limo and ask the chauffer to drive me back home. That would be a disaster.
“We’re almost there.” The chauffer smiles at me from the rear-view mirror.
I look outside and sure enough, the red carpet is laid out, I can see it from the corner of the street. I finish my drink, place it back on the cup holder and lightly slap my cheeks.
I’m awake. This isn’t a dream.
It’s actually happening. My first premiere. The first of many.
So far, there’s no sign of the twins on the red carpet, and I inwardly thank God for the fact that Evan takes so long fixing his hair. I assume that’s why they’re not here yet despite Cole being strict about being punctual.
My heart is racing, but I’m excited, not scared. When the limo pulls up on the curb, I turn to look at the chauffer and smile at him.
“Well, here I go. Wish me luck.” I cross my fingers and he laughs.
“Good luck, Miss Willow. You look amazing.” He crosses his fingers as well.
I giggle at the same time the staff outside opens the limousine’s door, I take a deep breath before stepping out into the light. Everyone stares at me, there’s a moment or two where no one takes any photos. I wave and flash them a smile. Not a second longer, they all start clamoring for shots of me.
My long legs make walking across the carpet an easy feat, I reach the center of the carpet easily even while stopping for photos once in a while.
“Willow! Look here! Over here!” I turn, smiling while showing off the black two-piece pleated gown I’m wearing to the photographers, then I put one leg in front of the other and show off my red velvet platform heels. My hair is styled into long voluptuous waves parted to the side, I decided to wear light make-up to highlight my natural features. I tighten my grip on the red jewelled clutch bag in my hand when I feel it vibrate, I assume that it’s another message from Cole. I try to take my mind off of it, for now, let the paparazzi feast on the ‘average’ girl they thought I was.
Other photographers try to get my attention, but I find it easier to just let them follow my own whims. If I walk a little bit to one side, they follow me with their cameras. If I pause even for just a second or two, they take plenty enough pictures for a whole album of this night.
I change my pose every now and then, each time I do, more photographers rally and try to take as many shots as they can. Several flashes from cameras all around me, I’m not rattled by them, this is what I wanted.
Being seen like this and being adored and loved. Proving people wrong about me. I’ve been waiting so long for them to see how far I’ll get despite what they say. My aunt, her friends, all those who didn’t believe in me. I want them to watch where I stand now.
Yet even when I’m smiling, I keep thinking of Cole and Evan, every now and then I catch myself waiting for them or mistaking someone else for them. I run a hand through my hair and force a small giggle for the paparazzi to take photos of. Some of them are too caught up in my act that they end up staring instead of taking photos. I look at one of them straight in the eye and smile, he flusters and takes several pictures. It’s as if I’m a phenomena they’re all too mystified to capture.
On the far end of the red carpet, I hear someone announce, “It’s Evan Mitchell!”
My heart skips a beat when I hear the name.
I assume that Cole is there too. And even though I keep rejecting and ignoring his calls, I still can’t stop myself from looking at them. I turn my head to see them, it doesn’t take a while to spot them even with other actors and other production staff in the way.
Two tall, gorgeous men. I can see that Cole has grown a neat stubble, further defining his strong jawline and somehow making his eyes more of a piercing blue than usual. He’s wearing a classic black and white tuxedo with black Oxford dress shoes. He’s also styled his hair into a clean pompadour.
Evan, on the other hand, is on the wilder side of the spectrum. Almost the complete opposite of Cole. He has his hair swept to the back, letting some locks fall just above his eyes. It’s messy but somehow elegant when it’s Evan pulling it off. He’s wearing a white undershirt under an eye-catching blue suit with a silver tie and pairs it with beige Oxford shoes. When the twins walk the carpet, it seems like things are in slow motion, most of the photographers squeeze between others to get better shots. It’s almost as if they’re gods and the photographers are being blessed with their image.
I see that Cole is called over by one of the female interviewers and Evan poses for the press alone just a few feet ahead of him.
They look so used to what they’re doing, like it’s just another day for them while it’s such a big deal for me. Some part of me is hurt by that idea, I know it’s true. For them, this is just another event they had to go to, but for me this could be either the beginning of my career or the end. I stand straighter and continue to smile at the cameras but inside I want to hurry and get inside before the twins can reach me.
I try to get another glimpse at what the twins are doing so I know how far they are from me and just as I look, I see that Cole is laughing with the interviewer. A pang of jealousy hits me when I see how much he’s having fun with her. It hurts even more when Evan joins their conversation and they laugh more. I keep remembering how much I’ve struggled this past week, but seeing t
hem enjoying themselves like that makes my heart squeeze.
Was that all I was for them? Someone who they can flirt casually with and laugh with every now and then?
My mind starts reeling with all the things Marco told me and everything that went down on the last day at the Bahamas. Whenever I think about it, I try to decipher whether or not what I saw in their eyes was pain and hurt. But I can never fully convince myself because I don’t know if I saw that only because it was what I wanted to see. The mind can play dirty tricks on you, that’s one of the things I’ve tried to tell myself in an effort to console my own feelings of guilt. If they really did love me, I still wouldn’t know how to react. The reason why I could never answer Cole’s messages was because of that.
I’ve been questioning if they really love me, or if they ever did. And I don’t know what answer will make me feel better. Because if they love me and they paid Marco to hide my tapes to protect me, then that means that they never believed I had talent. That they thought my audition tapes were bad. But if they never loved me then Marco was right. That all they wanted me for was for my body. And I don’t know if I can handle staying in LA knowing that. Just then, it sinks in that this could be the last movie I make with them, and I feel a sense of remorse blanket me.
I’ve fallen for them. And I thought that it was no question that they fell for me too, but now I’m doubting everything.
I snap out of my thoughts, not knowing how long I’ve been standing where I was. When I look around, I see that the director is gesturing for me to come over. I go over to him and we pose for photos. Then the rest of the cast joins in, Evan is at the other end and at some point I think he was looking at me. But when I glance at him he’s facing the cameras.
When the photos are over and done with. I make small conversation with some members of the cast and production crew then I turn around to get into the theater before I start thinking of more things and ruin the day.
This is it. This is where I’ll see for myself how I am on screen. I’m not letting anyone take this day away from me.
Evan
Audible gasps from several members of the audience during one of the most climactic scenes in the film forces a smile on my face. It’s exactly the reaction Cole and I had planned when we talked the scene over with the director and one of the scenes I had the most influence in making. It was one of my ideas, made concrete and plausible by Cole. Seeing the effect it has on the audience makes me feel happy and proud. Half of me wants to get up and tell the world that it was my idea, but I suppress the need to do so and concentrate on the movie.
The scene that plays now is a favorite of mine. It’s when Willow’s character finds mine alone in an empty recording studio. She walks in while he’s touching one of the guitars and realizes she still loves him even though he can’t play anymore. It’s such a well-written scene and I loved acting it out.
“Noah.” Willow’s character, Brooke, says. She’s standing by the doorway and Noah’s has his back to her.
This is the first time I’m seeing Willow act that scene because we never faced each other until right at the end. Her expression is so good that I absentmindedly turn to tell her, but then I realize she’s three or four seats away from me and Cole. Her face is lit up by the screen and I can see that her eyes are glassy. I turn look back to the screen, the camera’s focus is on my character.
Noah picks up the guitar, “In my hands, the feeling of holding this is as easy and simple as breathing.”
One side of Brooke’s lips twitch into a smile for a moment, and I could see how much emotion was in that one millisecond. The realization after smiling that the moment is one filled with sadness gets to me through Willow’s acting.
Brooke opens her mouth to speak but hesitates, in the end she says it anyway, “I know. I know too well what you mean.”
Noah starts plucking at the strings while his fingers tremble, he’s clearly in pain, I’m glad I was able to portray the pain enough, “But that’s the problem. No one tells you how to breathe. You just do it the moment you’re born. So what happens when you forget?” He stops playing and looks at his left hand, which is shaking, “You become overwhelmed by pain.”
Brooke smiles sadly, her brows turn upward and a crease forms between them, “I know.”
“What do I do, then? What can I do?” Noah turns his head but not enough that their eyes meet.
“I don’t know, Noah.” She closes her eyes and a tear falls.
From the audience, I can hear someone sniffling and I hope that Willow hears it too. I want her to know how she grabs people’s emotions.
Noah puts the guitar back on the stand and smiles, “What do you know, then? What can you tell me?”
“What do you want to hear?” Brooke wraps her arms around herself and leans against the doorway.
Noah shrugs, “Whatever it is. I know I need to hear you say it. It doesn’t matter what. As long as it’s you.”
Brooke looks down at her feet, after a soft laugh escapes her lips; she looks back up at him, her lips quivering and says, “I still love you.”
Noah turns around, the moment they see each other in person, face-to-face, after months of not being together. This is the moment that the film had led up to, the tension between two lovers who just needed to find their footing again.
When Noah looks up at her, he says nothing. But his eyes are filled with tears and they’re on the brim of streaming down his cheeks. Brooke walks up to him, crying.
“I’m sorry it took me so long to realize it. That as long as it’s you, I’ll be able to love for eternity.” She touches his cheek and he turns his head a bit, closes his eyes and kisses her palm.
The silence of Noah while Brooke reassures him that he’s no less the person she’s loved before brings a different depth to his character, who was a loud and aggressive character for most of the film. It brings out his most vulnerable side in a place where he feels most safe. The implication of the scene is that the recording studio is Noah’s heart and soul. It’s his home. And by facing Brooke and letting her in after not allowing her to see him in the recording studio throughout the film, the audience is exposed to a wonderful development in Noah’s character.
The film ends by panning out when Noah responds to Brooke’s confession by kissing her. Leaving the audience with the idea that the two reconcile and fix their relationship. The credits roll and I can hear people murmur amongst themselves.
When the lights come back on, the audience comes to life and gives a standing ovation. The applause is deafening. When the cast and crew stand up to face them and bow, I spot dozens of people crying. Some of them are in the midst of wiping their tears, some are laughing while tears threaten to fall from their eyes. This is a good view, it’s the type Cole and I have always tried to achieve whenever we made movies. But we’ve never seen it at this gravity.
I turn to Cole and see that he’s proud as well, he turns to me and hugs me tight. He whispers his congratulations in my ear and I whisper one back. I turn to the Bruce and we exchange hugs. And when the time comes, Cole and I exchange brief hugs with Willow.
After the screening, Bruce stands in the front while everyone remains seated. Flashes go off as some people take photos.
He runs his free hand through his hair while the other holds the microphone, “I can’t believe it’s already over! I want to thank my ever-trustworthy staff, they’ve been with me every step of the way. Never afraid to tell me if they think something isn’t right. Cole Mitchell, mostly, and I do think he should be a little afraid to tell me.” Many of us laugh at his poking fun at Cole, I look to my brother and he’s playing along, giving the director the ‘I’m watching you’ gesture.
“But,” Bruce continues, “I don’t think I speak for myself when I say that Cole has helped tremendously in this project. He’s done so much for so many people. And now he’s even brought in new talent, an exceptional actress, if I may say so. Willow Anderson, everybody!” The crowd gives the director
cheers and many of them clap their hands, Willow stands up, turns around and playfully curtsies, members of the audience laugh.
“Now, before I bore the living out of everyone here. I want to thank Evan Mitchell, who has been amazing to work with from the moment I met him. He embodies the characters I make for him so well that I’ve begun to think maybe I’m writing them in his image. But I’m not. He just manages to convince all of us that the character lives in him, through him.” The audience gives me more applause, some women squeal, I stand up and wave at the audience before bowing and sitting back down.
Bruce gestures for the audience to calm down, “Moving on! I pass on the mic to Cole.”
The crowd claps again and Cole accepts the mic from Bruce, he waves at everyone and smiles before speaking, “It’s been a long journey. Bumpy road too. But once again, we prove that odds don’t matter when you’ve got the heart to face adversary. That’s the thought behind this film. We follow Noah through his painful crisis after he’s robbed of his passions. We hoped that this movie would resonate with people who were doubting themselves and people who felt like they were less than their worth.”
For a moment I feel like he’s speaking directly to Willow.
“In the end, the main point of the film is to never turn your backs on the people who love and support you. Never push them out. And that if you do turn your backs, remember that you can always face them again. They’ll always be there, because that’s what love means. All you have to do is recognize them. Thank you so much for being here. All of you. I hope that you all go home knowing and remembering what love is. And that you are surrounded by it. I hope you all enjoyed the film, we’ve worked on it so hard.”
When I look over the crowd, all of them are smiling and nodding in agreement, some eagerly take photos. Looking back at my brother, I realize that he’s looking right at me.
It’s time.
“Now, stay in your seats, this isn’t really normal, but my brother—Evan Mitchell, the lead actor—would like to share a few thoughts. Let’s give him another round of applause for that amazing performance!” The room is filled with cheers and praise once more.
