by B F Worlds
Lucien looked up, raising an eyebrow. "There is no need to be so formal with family, is there? Relax, take a seat."
Dean sighed as she allowed herself to sink into a chair opposite of him. The room could have easily been dubbed the War Room. It was dominated by large circular table with fifteen chairs placed around it. Every other surface was covered in maps; local, state, national, even a few international. They were all marked in four colors; black for the blood wolves, blue for other changers, green for the Fae, and red for the vampires. There was very little black. "I would like to relax, but I become tense in uncertain circumstances. It would help if you told me why I'm here."
"I always knew you were special," he started. "Lok's little bird, the picture of grace among a pack of savages. Did you know you were feral born? It wasn't much. Just a tiny little mane along your cheeks. We ignored it because you were so calm. Even then, you had an incredible amount of control. Lou came up to me and said, I swear this by the gods, that if I didn't put you in his training, he would chuck his uniform over the wall and become a farmer."
Dean had to bite down on a laugh, feeling a blush come to her cheeks. It was hard to imagine her level headed instructor being so forceful with her uncle. Surprisingly, the vision of him carrying a plow seemed quite natural. "That's quite a bit of fuss over me."
"Well deserved. You surpassed all of our expectations and then some. Even yesterday. You gave Lamar a good whipping."
She winced. "I'm sorry about that."
"Do not apologize. As a Warrior, you accept a challenge from anyone who dares stand before you."
"Understood."
"My son isn't a terrible fighter. He throws a decent punch when he's not drunk off his ass. It might have lasted a bit longer anyway if he hadn't attempted to hold a half-form. The boy never learned his limits."
"Hmm," she hummed neutrally, hesitant to agree to what could be perceived as an insult. "I wish it hadn't come to that."
"Love makes us do crazy things."
Dean froze as warning bells clamored inside her head. "I'm sorry, I don't think I understand. What did you say?"
Lucien looked deep into her eyes. "Lamar is completely infatuated with you. Has been since the two of you were knee high. That is what drove him to the brink. A man has to be stronger than his wife. He believes that, unless he can defeat you, he doesn't stand a chance at winning your affections. And yet, you pull further and further ahead."
"Uncle, I don't-" She jumped from her chair and began to pace behind it, her hands tapping against the side of her leg. She could feel the wall that separated her from her wolf quivering under her anxiety. "Why are you telling me this?" she finally asked.
"Because I will not be here forever," he replied. "I have to look toward the future as well. Lamar will make a good leader, but his lack of patience stops him from being a great one. He needs a calm hand to reign him in when he throws one of his fits. Someone who can stand up to him on equal footing." He looked at her pointedly.
Dean could feel extra meaning lurking behind his words, a meaning she didn't want to acknowledge. She'd start to draw a conclusion, but before it could formulate into a thought, she'd violently thrust it aside. The endless loop of it charging forward and being halted caused her mind to fritz. "I don't-I-wha-"
"Deanna, will you marry him?"
That was the final blow. Her reason disintegrated under shock and outrage. "WHAT!?" she shouted, heedless to the respect she was supposed to be showing.
"I said-"
"Uncle, please," she interrupted him, stepping forward and slamming her hands on the table. "What do you mean, marry him? I can't marry him!"
"And why not?" Lucien stood, a small frown on his face. "What better match can you think of?"
"It's not about better matches! By the gods, he's my cousin!"
"And? The Amarok aren't susceptible to the defects of human breeding. There's nothing wrong with marrying close blood ties. In fact, it would be an advantage. Your children would be-"
"Stop!" Her hands flew to her ears. "I don't want to hear this." That's enough. The shock was wearing off and she grabbed hold of her emotions, reigning them in and forcing them down. A few deep breaths later, she was her normally calm self and she faced Lucien with determination. "I will not marry Lamar."
"Deanna pl-"
"I do not love him. I do not even like him. He is a loud, brash, ridiculous, petty man with terrible habits. The only reason I show any respect to him is because he is my future alpha and I swore to protect the pack when I joined the Training Hall."
"Don't you understand?" Lucien snapped. "This is protecting the pack."
"How? I protect my people with my claws, not lying on my back!"
Lucien growled and Dean trembled under the force of it, but she refused to back down. Her anger dulled her intellect and bolstered her courage. She held his gaze, a challenge that could get her killed. At that moment, she didn't care. She worked too hard to accept such a insult.
They held each others' gazes for several long, tense moments before Lucien looked to the side. It wasn't a submission, merely an effort to diffuse the situation. "This is what I mean. When pushed into a corner, you stood up to me. You were born to rule. There's no denying it."
"I'm not. Lamar-"
"You've made your feelings pretty clear. You value the pack over him, as you should. So what happens when he makes an ass of himself, trying to prove himself better than you? What happens when you decide it would be best if you were in charge? Will you kill my son and take his place? No! I won't allow it!"
"Our leaders are chosen by the will of the gods," she said through gritted teeth. "The strong lead. That is our way. You yourself said I shouldn't back down from any challenge."
"If I were just an alpha I would agree with you. But I am also a man who loves his son. I know Lamar. He can't be number two. It will come to a fight and he will die. Forgive me my niece, but I can't let that happen. I can't."
"Uncle.....what are you trying to say?"
For a moment, pain was etched across his features so deeply, Dean thought he might break down into tears. Only for a moment. She blinked and he was glaring down at her impassively. "Marry my son or leave. The choice is yours."
It was strange how she could feel the absence of a heartbeat keener than the strongest pounding in her chest. When her rhythm picked up again, the calm she had achieved shattered, releasing a torrent of jumbled emotions she couldn't begin to sort through. Numbness stole over her body, reflected in her tone. "Is that all?"
Lucien flinched, taken aback by her apparent indifference. "Yes. You have three days to decide."
"It shall be as you command." With a final salute, she turned on her heel and left the room.
Barclay was waiting at the end of the stairs with her hands clenched at her sides, tears streaming down her face. "Dean," she sobbed before grabbing the girl into a powerful hug. Dean remained motionless, unable to feel the comfort it was meant to relay or summon the affection to return it. "That stupid, stupid man." Barclay released her, holding her at arms' length by the shoulders. "He can't do this. I'll talk to him, make him see reason. He can't send you away!"
Dean gently moved out of her hold. Her aunt's break down was uncomfortable to watch, but there was nothing she could do for her. Not now. The rational part of Dean's mind that was thinking through her shock was beginning to worry about her state. Sooner or later, she would snap and she needed to be home when she did. "Auntie, I have to get home. I'll see you later."
Bar's lips trembled and then morphed into a scowl. She turned to the stairs and stomped up them, the stiffness in her posture promising a fight. Alphas fighting was never a good thing for the pack but, again, Dean couldn't bring herself to care. So she left.
CHAPTER 6
Dean spent some time wandering about the compound, working through what she felt. The strongest emotion was anger. Of course she was angry with Lucien. They were family and she had been raised to believe that
meant something. Her uncle's actions betrayed every truth she thought she knew. And for what? Because she'd done too well? Achieved too much?
She was also angry with herself. It was foolish to put Lucien on a pedestal. He wasn't carved out of stone, as he would like the world to believe. He was a flesh and blood man, susceptible to flesh and blood emotions.
Pride, the capital of the seven deadly sins. It wouldn't allow him to see his kingdom succeeded by any other than his own seed. And, if Dean faulted him, she would have to admit she was guilty of the same crime. She'd aimed for the top, assuming their wouldn't be any repercussions. Her own actions were just as responsible for her situation.
After that came the other emotions. Guilt. Disbelief. Frustration. Anxiety. And, though she was loathed to recognize it, excitement. She had never dreamed of leaving her home, going beyond the Amarok territory. Now, she was being thrown into the world head first and a part of her couldn't help feeling curious.
When she arrived home, the sun rested on the horizon. The front door was open and she could see her father dressing down her younger sister; a vein pulsing angrily along Lok's forehead, Lorna's arms crossed defensively as she weathered the storm. They both looked up as she approached. Dean had no idea what kind of face she was making, but it must have been terrible. Both of them jumped to her, their argument forgotten in their worry.
"What happened?" her father asked, his eyes looking for injuries. "Are you alright? Are you hurt?"
I'm fine. "I'm-" She paused. Was she fine? No. She wasn't alright at all. Was she hurt? Very much. Her heart ached every time she remembered her dismissal and, in the presence of her father, it was that much harder to pretend she didn't feel it. Tears stung her eyes and she fought not to let them fall. "Daddy-" she hiccupped, looking at him with pleading eyes that asked him to solve all her problems.
As she finally broke down and began sobbing, her father scooped her up and carried her into the house, bellowing for his wife. The next thing she knew, her comforter encircled her shoulders and her family waited at the end of her bed, an attentive audience.
The story came out of her in short gasps, and by the time she was done, Dean had made up her mind to leave. Her family's shock reinforced her own negative emotions, justified her anger. She'd never be able to forgive her uncle. Better to leave than to risk a bigger uproar by stewing in the tension.
Lorna spoke first.
"That's horrible!" her sister shouted, drawing all eyes in the room to her. "Asking you to marry that brute Lamar and give up the chance of finding your mate is just...just....evil!"
"Lorna," her father warned.
"No, Father, you can't defend him, The mate bond is magic! It's love at first sight, an instant connection to another person. That's not something to just chuck away!"
"There are more important things than fairy tales!" Lok yelled. "She wouldn't survive out there."
"I am a Warrior!" Dean shouted in response. "Scouts survive outside everyday."
"The Scouts have access to the pack's contacts, safe houses, and supply routes. And, if it gets too rough, they can always return to the safety of home. The two of you were too young. You don't know what it was like before we had this place..."
His hands balled into tight fists and a haunted look came over his eyes. Deava placed a hand on his shoulder and he snapped out of it, giving her a rueful smile before he turned back to his daughters. "It's dangerous out there, even for the strongest of us."
"Training or no training," Lorna said emphatically, "if I had to choose between this pack and an honestly magical love, I would leave that night."
"Lorna," Deava said quietly, "would you give us some privacy? You too dear. I need to speak to Deanna alone."
The two of them looked reluctant, but Deava stood her ground, holding their stares. It was such a rare occurrence, it carried enough weight to send them out the door. Lorna went immediately, grumbling to herself. Her father paused to drop a quick kiss on his wife's head with a whispered, "I'll be downstairs if either one of you need me."
Deava waited until she couldn't hear them anymore before she turned to her daughter. "Deanna," her mother started, "I'm so sorry that I can't fix this. No one should be forced into such difficult decisions, especially not someone as young as you.
Let me be honest. I don't want you to leave. Your father wasn't exaggerating when he said its dangerous out there. Behind the safety of our walls, we paint ourselves as nature's greatest achievement, but the world doesn't see us that way. We are the threat of a threat, a ghost of power every other race is eager to stomp out. The only thing stopping them from waging war against us is the chance that the fight might expose us to the humans. Out there is a world of secrecy and danger no training could ever prepare you for."
Dean cast her gaze to the window. The last orange of evening blended with the indigo of the coming night. "You think I should stay?"
"I didn't say that." Her mother climbed onto the bed and grabbed her by the chin, forcing their eyes to meet. "All the security in the world don't mean a thing if you're not happy. Ask yourself, could you be happy here?"
"I despise Lamar," Dean confessed. "He may have great potential but he's a petty, ignorant drunk. I can't even imagine what it would be like to share a home with him. To have him...touch me like that." She shivered in revulsion. "I can't even think about it. He isn't my mate."
"Your father and I aren't mated."
Dean's eyes widened as her jaw dropped. "He's not? But you're always telling us about-"
"Every mother tells her daughters those stories. I wanted the two of you to dream. When I was a little girl, my aunt told me that, no matter how long it took, as long as they kept searching, mates would always find each other. She waited a hundred and fifty years for hers. I never believed the few years of happiness she had at the end were worth the decades of heartache I watched her live through."
"What about you?" Dean asked. "I mean, you and Father..."
"I do love your father Deanna. But it wasn't some whirlwind romance like your sister dreams about. We worked at the relationship and weathered it through until it flourished. Sometimes, love isn't found. It can be built."
Dean swallowed. "Then-"
"But there are times when I wonder...what if? I'm not like you. I wasn't built for anything but the pack. But you...you're strong. Strong enough to scare the alpha of the strongest changer race to ever exist." She reached forward to cup her daughter's cheek and Dean leaned into the touch. "You are free my daughter. Have no regrets." She patted her cheek and stood up. "I need to go downstairs and reassure your father before he does something stupid. Take the night to think on it. I'll bring dinner up here."
"Thank you."
"Deanna?"
"Yes?"
"I love you."
Dean smiled. "I love you too."
Her mother left the room and Dean flopped down onto her back, staring blankly at the ceiling while she thought about her future.
CHAPTER 7
"So, you're really leaving?"
Lorna stood in the doorway, her arms crossed as she eyed the bags scattered across the floor. Everything Dean needed fit into two, but the organization would make it easier to distribute the excess. Dean popped to her feet, smiling ruefully. "Yes, I'm leaving. Tonight."
"And Father? He's alright with it?"
She snorted. "Father can't look Uncle in the eye. If I stay here much longer, the two of them will come to blows ."
"I'm not sure you leaving is going to make things better." Lorna huffed. "Look, Dean, I know what I said before, but I don't think you should go."
Dean glared at her. "What are you saying?"
"Father is always angry, the alpha couple are sleeping in different rooms, and Lamar is draining the wine bottles like a fish on a water hose. Everybody's upset and one more push away from exploding...Dean, you leaving might be the final trigger that makes the pack implode."
"The pack," Dean spat, "are the ones making me leave."
/>
"No, Lucien-"
"Lucien is the pack! Lamar is the pack! They want me gone so it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. As long as they're here, I won't be. Lucien won't allow anything to happen to his son and it would take nothing less than a natural disaster to stop him."
She moved to her sister and wrapped her in a strong hug. "I know you're worried, but everyone will be fine without me. Wolves are strong. You are strong." She let go of Lorna and ruffled her hair. "Even if you are a bit of a fool."
Lorna scowled and knocked her hand away. "Fine. Fine. I'm just being selfish because I'll be stuck in this place when the crap hits the fan. Promise you won't leave without saying goodbye? Not like this. I mean a crying and hugging goodbye."
"Yeah, sure pup. I'll let you ruin one of my shirts with your snot." Dean's smile faded. "But first, there's something I got to do."
Her sister's eyes darted over her face. "I know that look. That's the same look you had when you decided to join the Warriors. You're about to do something reckless aren't you?"
"Maybe."
-
She found Lamar huddled underneath a tree near the edge of the compound. He was dressed in a trainee's uniform and she was glad that there was no sign of drink around him. Their eyes met as she approached him and, instead of the disdain she expected, the only emotion she could read on him was defeat.
"What do you want Dean?"
"Good afternoon Lamar," she replied, stopping at his feet. "What are you doing here? Training shouldn't be over for the day."
"Master Lou sent me away with some shit excuse about my father needing my help in some personal matters. Personally, I don't think he can stand the sight of me." He shrugged his shoulders. "You always were his favorite."
Dean was touched and a little disturbed her teacher would go so far for her. Suddenly, Lorna's concerns seemed much more believable and a chill of unease went down her spine. "I need to talk to you."
"Don't bother asking me to talk to my Father. I tried that already but he won't listen to me."
