by Hamel, B. B.
Cam did what he could, and the guns and the money were more than anyone else ever gave them.
“But you’re still worried,” he said.
“I’m worried,” I admitted. “About what’ll happen when the time comes. And what’ll happen after.”
“After?” he asked. “We’ll let them go. Let them keep the guns and the cash. They’ll be free. They’ll start over.”
“I hope so,” I said, shaking my head. “But after what they’re going to have to do to get that freedom, I’m afraid they won’t be the same.” I was quiet for a second then felt his hand reach out and take mine.
I squeezed his strong, rough fingers.
“Like you’re not the same?” he asked.
“Just like that,” I said, looking at his handsome, serious face. “After living out on the street, I won’t ever be able to go back to the way I was before. You know that, right?”
“I know,” he said, frowning slightly. “I hoped I could get you close, though.”
“You are,” I said, lifting his hand up to my lips. I kissed his fingertips, one at a time. “But I don’t want these girls to do through what I’m going through.”
“They’ll have to, no matter what,” he said. “They’ve already been hurt. Now they can get a chance to do the hurting for once.”
I laughed and nodded. I held his hand against the center console and stared out at the city as it flashed past. He was right, they’d already been hurt.
And now, they’d kill because of it.
21
Irene
Cam risked one more gathering of as many of the girls as he could. We stood outside the manor house in the long yard with guns lying in the grass. Twenty yards away, targets were riddled with bullet holes. There were twelve girls there in all, less than half the total number, but that was good enough.
Sasha sat next to me, idly braiding a few strands of my hair. She seemed so happy and girlish ever since the raid on that Healy safe house, like killing those men had taken some kind of burden from her. I didn’t ask her about it, about that smile and her pure joy at killing, and she didn’t seem to want to talk, but it hung there in the silences and I was afraid for her.
But the other girls seemed happy, and so I pushed my worries aside.
Cam stood off to the side with Don Valentino and talked in soft voices. I could guess what they were saying—big, serious, manly planning stuff. I was tempted to get up and go over there, just to see what they were talking about, but I liked it when Sasha tugged at my hair. It felt good to have a friend that touched me without any ulterior motive.
“We’re ready, you know,” Sasha said suddenly.
I jumped a little. We hadn’t spoken in almost ten minutes. I was so lost in thought that I’d nearly forgotten she was there.
“I know,” I said, turning slightly toward her, trying not to pull my hair from her hands. “You’re one hell of a shot.”
She laughed. “I know I am,” she said, grinning. “Better than the rest of these bitches.” Her smile slowly faded. “But that’s not what I mean. We’re ready, you know? They know what might happen.”
“You mean, you’re ready to die,” I said, feeling a chill in my stomach.
Sasha shrugged. “I’m not ready to die, no,” she said. “I definitely don’t want to. None of the girls here do. But we’re all ready to take the risk.”
“I wish you didn’t have to,” I said, frowning at her. I’d only known her a little while, but she’d become a really good friend. We spent a lot of time walking around the grounds talking about our lives, and we had a lot in common.
“It’s not just for us,” Sasha said. “It’s for all the other girls that aren’t fighting. And for all the girls that they’d bring in to replace us if we just ran away. I think we all know that some other poor girl from back home will just take our place. I don’t want that.”
I took a deep breath and let it out. I was so anxious, but hearing her talk like that took some of the edge away. I didn’t want to lose her and didn’t want to see any of the girls get hurt—but if she was ready, and everyone accepted what might happen, then I couldn’t stop them.
I’d have to accept it.
“You’re braver than I ever was,” I said. “The only reason I came here off the street is because I stupidly tried to steal from Ronan.”
“Stupid, brave, no difference,” Sasha said and that big smile was back. “I’m only crazy, really. You haven’t seen the half of it.”
“Crazy as hell,” Vera said suddenly and threw a clump of grass at Sasha. “Craziest bitch I know.”
“Except me,” Lara complained. “I’m way crazier.”
“You’re all crazy,” I said and couldn’t help but feel an incredible admiration for these girls, all of them abused and broken, all of them angry and preparing to kill, and maybe get killed.
I loved them and was terrified for them.
“All right, everyone,” Cam said, walking away from Don Valentino. He held his hands up in the air. “I need everyone to listen up for a second.”
“Big boss man needs a word,” Sasha called out. “So shut the fuck up.”
He nodded at her and waited for the girls to stop talking. All eyes were trained on him, and Cam stared back at them like an older brother addressing his sisters. I felt a sudden surge of pride that nearly overwhelmed my fear. Cam did this, Cam brought all these girls together, and maybe he was doing it to save my life and to do his own job, but he could’ve found some other way to get at Ronan. Instead, he gave these girls a chance.
“Tomorrow night is the big night,” he said, looking at each face one after the other. “Most of you know the plan, but for those of you that don’t, it’s simple. We’ve broken each house up and armed as many girls inside as possible. At five minutes after midnight, you’re all going to get out your guns in your individual house and kill every single motherfucker you see. Kill all the Healy men, kill all their clients, and then you hunker down and wait, because the family’s going to send more after you. Hunker down, hide, and when more Healy men show up thinking they’ll blast a bunch of dumb whores out of the water, you show them what you are.”
“Fuck, yeah,” Sasha said, standing up. “You hear that, girls? All at the same time, we’re gonna fuck the Healys up. If any single one of you backs out and doesn’t go through with this, you’re screwing everyone else. We’ve gotta do it all together, right at the same time, hit them so hard they don’t know what’s happening.”
“Hell, yeah,” Vera said, grinning savagely, and Anna started cheering. The girls joined in, clapping and laughing and shouting wildly, blowing off some steam, and Cam grinned at them and walked away.
I stood and joined him while the girls broke up into smaller groups and headed toward the front of the house. Don Valentino spoke softly with some of them, probably encouraging them to be strong.
Cam slipped his hand into mine. “You still feeling nervous?” he asked.
“Still nervous,” I confirmed. “But I talked to Sasha and I think I’m okay.”
“They’re ready,” he said. “And this is going to work.”
“Are you sure?” I asked, looking up into his face.
“I’m positive.” We walked past the trees and down into the forest that ringed around the Valentino compound. Paths cut through the shady underbrush and we paused near a wide clearing beside a big, old tree with a gnarled, curbed trunk and drooping branches. He leaned up against it and pulled me toward him, hands on my hips.
I put my palms on his chest and felt his heart beating fast. He looked down into my eyes and I tilted my chin toward him, lips parted.
“What happens after?” I asked. “And I don’t mean for them.”
“You tell me,” he said softly. “You’re the one that wants to run back onto the streets.”
I shook my head. “I don’t want that anymore.”
“No? What changed your mind.”
I hit him softly, smiling. “Don’t be a di
ck about this.”
“I’m not playing,” he said. “What changed your mind?”
“You did,” I said. “All this changed my mind.” I chewed on my lip. “Listen, Cam—”
“Wait,” he said, touching my cheek. “I want to say something first. I need you to know something before we keep going.”
“What?” I whispered.
He leaned down and kissed me gently, barely brushing his lips against mine. His hand gripped me harder as he kissed my neck and I felt his breath hot on my throat. He pulled back and gently touched my cheek with his hand and I leaned into it, wanting him so badly, needing his body, his arms, everything he could give me and so much more.
“I love you,” he said. “I’ve loved you for a very long time. I never stopped loving you when you went away, and I won’t stop even if you run again. So let me keep loving you, Irene. Stay with me.”
“I love you too,” I said, standing on my toes to kiss him deep and slow.
We stood in that forest for a long time, maybe forever. I felt his lips and heart, his body, tasted his tongue and knew that I couldn’t go back. When the kiss ended, I rested my cheek against his chest as he held me harder.
“What were you going to say before I very rudely interrupted you?” he asked.
I smiled slightly. “Just that I was wrong,” I said. “I never should’ve run away. That was a mistake, and I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. You did what you thought you had to do, but you’re back now. That’s all that matters.”
I closed my eyes and listened to the wind in the trees and the bird fluttering from branch to branch and the sound of leaves crunching against bushes and knew in my heart, in my chest and gut, in every inch of me, that this was my man, that this was the person I was meant to be with forever.
This was my Cam.
I never should’ve given up on him and ran away. When he joined the Valentino family, I thought I was losing him forever. I thought they’d change him into a monster.
And they did change him. But he wasn’t some mindless beast, murdering for the fun of it. He did his job and protected his family, but he wasn’t the rotten, dark prince I feared.
He was still my Cam. Still the man I loved back then. He was the man I could still love.
He was so much more than that—and I wanted it all.
Running was a mistake and I’d pay the price for the rest of my life.
But if I stayed now, maybe I could make up for some of that lost time.
I pressed myself against him and we stayed there beneath that tree until dusk came and the sky turned pink then purple then black, before heading back up to the house.
22
Cam
Right at midnight, I parked my car in the middle of West Philly and killed the engine. It was a quiet block close to Drexel, and there wasn’t anyone out on the street, no pedestrians walking their dogs or taxis rolling past. The place was dead and silent and cold.
Irene slumped down in her seat wearing all black. She crossed and uncrossed her legs and shifted her position over and over again. I knew she was terrified for what was about to happen.
I got out my phone. “Text from Sasha,” I said.
Irene perked up. “What’s it say?”
“She’s in position and all the girls are ready.” I looked at the clock. Four more minutes. My phone buzzed again. “Another text from Anna. She’s ready, girls are ready.” More buzzes, from Lara and Vera, from a few other girls that were leading their attacks on their houses. Everyone was ready and accounted for.
I wouldn’t hear anything else from them, at least not right away. Now it was time to wait.
“I’m scared,” Irene admitted. “It’s weird. I lived so long with being afraid, and then I forgot what it felt like for a little bit being with you.”
“Nerves before a fight,” I said. “Everyone gets them.”
Myself included, but I didn’t let it show. I didn’t want Irene to know how worried I felt.
So much could go wrong. Some of the girls would be decent fighters, but some of them were hopeless in front of a completely still target. When it came to pointing a gun at a man and pulling the trigger, when it came to blood and murder, it was easy to freeze up and make a mistake. The houses with Anna and the sisters and Sasha, they’d be fine.
And all the other houses had my guys ready and waiting to go in.
One per house. I couldn’t mass them all together. I had to spread them apart and hope that the girls stepped up and did what they had to do. Their orders were simple: when they heard shooting and fighting, get in there and help kill. The girls knew my guys would come in, but that didn’t necessarily mean it would be safe. I had to hope they’d be careful and make it through this.
One last text with two minutes to go. “Linc says he’s ready and all the guys are accounted for,” I said. “Which just leaves us.”
Irene sighed. “I almost wish we were going in somewhere, you know? Helping out?”
“We have a more important mission,” I said.
She nodded, but said nothing. One minute to go. My hands were sweating. We were parked close enough to a couple different houses, including the one where Sasha would break in the back and lead the attack, that we should hear the gunshots.
If the shots came at all.
Irene reached out and grabbed my hand. Her palms were hot and sweaty with nerves. I squeezed her fingers.
“Time,” I said.
The night was silent. Nothing nearby, nothing in the distance. Irene stared at me, skin going pale, mouth hanging open—
There was no way all the houses would fuck up at the same time. Unless the Healys figured out what was going on. Unless something worse happened—
Then a bang close by. Then another, and another. Gunshots blazing up the night, loud and everywhere. Irene squeezed me hard and leaned over. I pulled her against me and held her as the guns blazed wildly, firing in multiple different locations, some of them nearby, some of them far off. It sounded like a war zone, and it was a fucking war zone. These girls were fighting for their lives and their freedom.
A text buzzed in from Linc. “His place is secure,” I said. “Only four guys were inside, all dead.” Then another text from Vera. “The sisters are good. Six dead men, one injured girl.” The gunfire continued then slowly began to taper off. Texts blew up my phone. “Alvaro says they’re good, one girl dead, eight dead Healy men. Anna made it, one Healy guy got away, seven are dead, one girl is hurt pretty bad.”
“Sasha?” Irene whispered.
I shook my head. Nothing from Sasha yet. It was ten minutes after the attack started and I began firing off more texts. “Come on,” I said softly to myself.
Then my phone buzzed. “Sasha’s okay,” I said, relief flooding through me, and then another text came in. “And she spotted Ronan.” I started the engine.
“Our turn,” Irene said.
I drove fast toward Sasha’s place. Fortunately, she was nearby, and we were prepared for this. The plan hinged on being able to communicate with the girls while everything went down and I was shocked that everyone managed to send out messages when they were supposed to. If my crew hadn’t split up and managed each hit, watching over the girls then relaying the results, I doubted this would’ve worked so well.
But so far, only a few girls were dead. There’d probably be more before this was all through, and more injured on top of that, but it was a miracle there hadn’t been worse. And from what I could tell, there were twenty or more dead Healys.
That was massive. Absolutely massive.
I slammed on the brakes halfway down the black from Sasha’s place. Two cars were parked in the street out front. I jumped out and pulled my gun, and Irene came after me, lagging behind. I wished she’d stay in the car but I knew she couldn’t hide from this.
I approached the cars from the street, making sure to keep close to the curb. The driver of the first car didn’t see me and I managed to put a bullet in hi
s head before he even turned his attention in my direction. The next guy tried to get his seatbelt off, but too slow—I killed him as he scrambled for a gun.
Inside was quiet and the door hung open.
I gestured at Irene to stay hidden as I moved up the stoop, gun raised.
Stairs on the left led up to the second floor. Blood was splattered on the wall and the railing, and a body was lying just head. Probably a Healy guy, shot while coming downstairs. I moved forward and into the living room, then pressed myself up against the wall.
Three men were crouched down behind an upturned table.
I came out of hiding. Their attention was focused on the other side of the room toward the kitchen. I guessed that was where Sasha and her girls were hiding.
I whistled once, sharp and high. The three men looked at me—
Ronan in the middle, his eyes wide.
I killed the man on his left. The man on his right raised his gun and I put a bullet in him before Ronan returned fire and forced me to fall back. I felt a shot graze against my arm, a burning, sharp pain like a wasp digging its stinger into my flesh.
“I thought you’d show up,” Ronan called. I heard him move to better cover. “I got your message, you know.”
“That was from Irene,” I said.
“That thief slut,” he said, spitting the words out.
“Careful,” I said. “I wouldn’t talk about her that way if I were you.”
He chuckled darkly. “Tell me, Cam. How’d you manage all this?”
“I’m very enterprising.” I crouched down and looked around the corner. Ronan fired at me, but missed high. He had the table angled now so that he was slightly blocked in both directions. I couldn’t see if Sasha was there, but I knew she could hear us talking at least.
