by A. M. Wilson
I drop my phone the few inches to the bar top. I swirl my drink before sucking back a sip through my teeth. By the time I set the glass back down, Nathan’s on the stool beside me.
“Your woman let you loose for the evening?”
The light snark rolls right off his back. He’s deliriously happy these days, to the point of being nauseating. He orders his drink and pulls over a coaster to fidget with.
“She’s having Cami over. I offered to watch Cedric to give the girls some relaxing time alone, but Cami nearly took my head off at the suggestion, so I thought I’d get out of Dodge.”
Cedric is Nathan and Kiersten’s infant son.
“Probably a good idea. You don’t ever get between a uterus and a baby.”
“No shit.” He snorts and nods to Dane in thanks before picking up his drink.
“When are you two moving again? I’m available with the Jeep at any time, though if it’s a Saturday, I’ll need to bring Tommy along.” The reminder of seeing Tommy is both sour and sweet. Six days is a long fucking time to go without seeing my own flesh and blood, but I’m counting the minutes until he’s back under my care.
“Kiersten has to be out of her house next weekend. Then we close on mine in another month. We got lucky. It lines up perfectly with closing on our new house, so we won’t be homeless for a few days.”
A quick swallow of my drink disguises the lance of pain. I don’t consider myself to be homeless. More like I’m on a perpetual camping trip like the summer I spent with my nomadic uncle.
“Call me when you need help. I’m happy to make trips.”
He takes a swig of his own drink. “What about you? Made any decisions on selling that monster house of yours? I’m not usually one to condone spite, but in this case…” He trails off. Always the nice guy. Can’t even properly criticize my whore of an ex-wife.
The truth gets tangled in a bramble of lies. What my friends don’t know can’t hurt me. I give a noncommittal shrug.
“No decisions yet.”
As if I had the power to make any right now. They still think we’re sleeping on separate floors of the house with a co-parenting schedule like we did during the beginning of our separation. Once I left for good, Nora used the opportunity to let me see my son as little as possible.
He spears a glance around the room. “You have half the beds in town open to keep you warm. I can see why it’s not at the top of your priorities.”
I shoot him a glare. “There are worse problems to have.” Like getting the damn thing out of Nora’s clutches.
“I’m just saying. Our situations are completely different, but I know what it’s like to have a plan laid out for life and have it swept out from under you.”
Nathan’s wife died from cancer a few years back. A couple of years and knocking up his best friend convinced him to be open to love again. Once that gate opened, he hasn’t looked back for a second. Long gone are the shadows beneath his eyes from guild-ridden sleepless nights of wondering if he’s betrayed his dead wife.
I don’t see myself taking that path. Sure, I had my plan. I knew what I wanted in life and was well on my way to ticking each box. And then the tidal wave of infidelity swept it away and left nothing but destruction in its wake.
There’s a different type of devastation that comes from disloyalty. A person can mourn death. It’s a lot harder to mourn betrayal when you’re forced to confront that person several times a month.
“I’ve got it as good as it gets. Tommy and me, we’re a team. And when he’s with his mom, I find myself a companion. It keeps things clean.”
Nathan shakes his head.
“I mean it.” I toss back the dregs. “Can already picture Nora getting wind of me with a girlfriend. If I thought the claws were out before…” The thunk of glass against wood precedes the scrape of my stool legs as I stand. A wave of my hand signals Dane to fill another glass. “Be right back.”
I retreat for a quick piss and a regroup. Lying to my best friend’s face makes me feel like shit. But I’m not ready to come clean about the state of my life in the wake of Hurricane Nora.
They’ll want to help, no doubt about that. But I’m just not the type of guy to request assistance. I have money. I help my friends. I lend a hand with heavy lifting, and I babysit their little kids because I miss my own so much it’s a constant physical ache. And I walk strangers' dogs because they’re tempting and sassy, and the challenge felt like a middle school dare I couldn’t refuse.
Leaning over the porcelain sink, hands braced on either side, I shake my head and stare at my reflection. Can’t have rogue thoughts like that darting about. The last time I had a school crush was Nora, and look where that got me?
The muffled music grows louder as I open the door. The weight of suggestive stares feels physical as I shuffle my way back to my friend at the bar. Familiar faces pass by. The curl of my lip into a smirk is automatic, but the subtle shake of my head is forced.
For the first time in a long while, I’m burned out.
I don’t want to play cat and mouse.
Sex sounds like a goddamn chore.
“Find who you’re looking for?” Nathan’s question has me yanking my chin into my chest.
“What?”
He shrugs. “I figured you were scoping out your options.”
I settle back onto my stool as heavy as a cinder block. Avoiding eye contact is easy as I reach for my fresh drink. “Nah, man. I’m taking the night off.”
“Did you tell them that? You have about ten pairs of eyes pinned to your back.”
My right forearm settles on my thigh, and I level him with a grin. “You jealous?”
His face pales beneath the dim pendant lights. He shoves me with a hand to my shoulder. “Fuck no.”
The smirk I wear easily slides into place. “I’m messing with you.”
“Yeah, well, you’re a terrible comedian. Kiersten riled would make Nora’s claws look stuffed with cotton.”
A swallow of whiskey conceals my laughter. “You’re not wrong.”
We order bar food and catch up over appetizers while watching sports highlights on the flat screen over the bar. Tonight’s the first instance of normalcy for either of us in a while. Not wanting to bother my friend and his new wife, once his son Cedric was born, I kept a low profile. The two had finally found their way, and the last thing I wanted to do was drag him out to hear about my problems.
I can’t deny that after the day I’ve had this is nice.
After finishing off a plate of fries, along with three other appetizers an hour and a half later, Kiersten calls Nathan to let him know Cami went home. From his side of the conversation, the gist is clear. I’m not the only one being sought after tonight.
Nathan throws on his jacket, and I toss down a few bills while he’s distracted. Money may be tight, but old habits are hard to break, especially when I refuse to tell my friends the truth.
“Not to sound like a chick, but we need to do this more often. Sometime I don’t have Tommy would be a welcome change from my normal routine.”
His expression suggests I said the wrong thing. He just shakes his head. “Absolutely. It gives the girls a chance to get together too. Cami can’t get enough of fawning all over my boy. Won’t be surprised if she and Law pop out one of their own.”
“That’s been a long time coming. You’ll be in the race for number two soon.”
I swear Nathan’s skin turns a shade of green. “I’m still getting used to number one.”
I laugh and slap him on the shoulder. “See you around. And call me about moving, I’m serious. Happy to help.”
Nathan’s eyes slide over my shoulder before coming back to mine. “Sure, man. See you.”
Before I can decide whether to stay or go, a breathy voice calls from behind me. “Rhett.”
The tall brunette behind me isn’t a stranger, and I offer a playful half-grin. “Mallory.”
She twirls one of her soft ringlets around the finger
of one hand and holds a pink drink in the other. “How’ve you been?” She leans in.
I rest a hand on the curve of her waist and land a kiss on her cheek. Her answering smile is bashful as we pull back. I leave my palm in place and give her a gentle squeeze.
“I’m good. How’re you?” Relaxing against the bar gives me a better view. She’s overdressed for this sort of place, but I—and the other males in the room—aren’t complaining. Her dress is short and black, and her heels are sky-high. The smoky hue of her makeup is alluring.
The way she bites her lower lip tells a story in half a second.
“I’ve been good, Rhett. Actually been wondering if I’d ever run into you again.” She peeks up at me beneath thick, heavy lashes.
“Aw.” I place a hand on my chest over my heart and flash her a grin. “You knew exactly where to find me.”
“That’s what I was hoping.” She jabs her straw between her lips. “Do you have plans tonight?”
This is the split-second decision I’d been determined to avoid. Mallory is a great woman, but I really am feeling the effect of burning the candle at both ends.
“I was about to head out, actually. I have an early morning.” The lie rolls out as smooth as silk.
“I do too,” she says huskily and moves closer to rest her hand on my chest. The heat is warm and sends messages to parts I’m fighting to ignore. “I’m actually out for a bachelorette party. The wedding is tomorrow morning.”
“That’s probably all the more reason not to slum it with me and rejoin your friends.” I use my thumb to tug her puffy lower lip from between her teeth. “You don’t want to be the one who ditches her friend on her pre-wedding night.”
She gives a one-shoulder shrug. “It’s actually my cousin.”
I roll my lips between my teeth, suppressing a chuckle. “Another time. I promise you’ll catch me around.” With a wink, I let her waist go and sidestep by to remove all contact. Her pout makes it that much harder to ignore my brain and take what my body wants instead.
She sneaks back to her group with a little less bounce in her step.
I’m accosted twice more on my way out the door, but as soon as I’m safely enclosed in my Jeep, the relief doesn’t come.
A part of me wants to jump out and walk back into that bar.
The other part, the one I try so hard to suppress and ignore, says I’m dangerously on the edge. How many drinks did I have? And how many more before all reason gets thrown in the trash?
I glance up into my rearview, noticing the dark rings beneath my eyes.
Alcohol and mirrors, man. Makes it easier to look at ourselves.
4
Evie
The first hue of pink on the horizon peels open my gritty eyelids. Without much else to do at this hour, I leave Ghost asleep, lock my car, and trudge into the service station with my small tote and flip-flops. The weary cashier doesn’t reveal whether he’s worked the overnight or just clocked in when I pass over my five-dollar bill for a hot shower.
“Round the back,” he grunts and slides over a key attached to a weathered paint stick.
“Thanks.”
Two eighteen-wheelers are parked along the far side, and I pass by without a glance as I tread carefully to the shower. I don’t want to inadvertently attract unwanted attention.
The shower is hot, albeit short, and I wander back inside with a T-shirt wrapped around the wet curls on my head.
Step one of living out of your car? Not giving a single fuck what other people think.
I select two packs of peeled hard-boiled eggs and a banana for breakfast. The junkier options call to me, but there’s plenty of time to gorge on a greasy burger for dinner. Besides, eggs are one of Ghost’s favorite treats.
My cell jangles my brother’s ringtone from my tote, prompting me to hurry through returning the key and paying for my measly food. Juggling the tote in one hand, I hang the plastic bag from my wrist and dig out my phone.
“Hey, bro.” I inject as much faux cheeriness into my voice as I can to ward off the questions.
“It’s actually me,” Caiti says. The sound of my beautiful sister-in-law’s voice cinches a string around my heart.
“Even better. How’s it going, babe?”
Her snort shackles me. “I should be asking you that. How’s it going, babe?” she mocks. “Are you freaking kidding me right now?”
“Whoa.” I find the willpower to unlock my feet and return to my car. “What did Eric tell you?”
“That’s exactly the problem! He’s told me nothing because, according to him, you’ve told him nothing.”
“I’ve told him all I can right now.”
“Oh, really?” I easily conjure the image of her with her hand on her hip and her shiny, jet-black hair swaying as she shakes her head at me. “Tell me where you are then.”
“I’m currently at a gas station getting breakfast. After I feed Ghost, I’m finding a store so I can get my supplies and start finding clients.”
Her sigh of frustration reveals I’ve missed the mark. “Smart-ass. I want to know what town.”
“I can’t tell you that yet. I want to see if I can establish myself here first. Otherwise, I’ll be moving to somewhere new.”
“You know you’re more than welcome to come live with us and clean my house as your rent.” Her joke warms me and guilts me at once.
I rouse Ghost with a gentle pat followed by a tap on the nose. With the phone wedged against my shoulder, I extend an egg out to her, which she happily takes.
“I know you two don’t understand, but I don’t want to move out of the country. I get it doesn’t make sense that a single woman wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to travel the world, but there’s so much here I want to see and do yet. Maybe in a year or two, when I’ve saved enough money, I’ll come for an extended visit.”
“Don’t worry about saving money. Just let us know, and we’ll fly you over.”
My head thuds against the headrest, and I close my eyes. “I miss you, Caiti. I miss you both so much.” The thickness of my throat is impossible to conceal.
“I’m always a phone call away. And I’m going to talk to Eric about planning a visit to come see you whenever you’re ready to tell us where you are. Just be safe, okay?” Her own watery reply reflects how I feel inside.
“Always. Tell my brother I love him, and I’ll call him soon.”
“Love you too, sister! I better know where you are by next week, or I’m calling a search party!”
I scrub my hand over my brows. “Speakerphone? Really, Caiti?”
Eric’s voice comes at me again. “Don’t blame her. It was my idea since you won’t give up information any other way. I thought she could get it out of you somehow.”
“I told him he doesn’t know you at all if he thinks that’s true,” Caiti chimes in.
The welling tears warn me to wrap this up.
“I’ll call you both soon. Love, love.”
“Love you too!” Caiti replies.
“Love you.” My brother’s gruff voice spurs me to end the call before the dam breaks.
I toss my phone to the seat and leash Ghost for a quick potty break. She meanders around for only a minute before she does her business and lets me load her back into the car.
She settles back in her seat with a dramatic groan, and I reach for my phone to search for the nearest department store. I find one ten minutes away and set off on our quick trip across town.
I park easily near the middle in the half-filled lot. I gather my things and crack the windows for Ghost. The brisk morning air means I don’t have to worry about the car's interior heating. This will be a short trip. Leaving her in the car reminds me to add finding a dog sitter to my to-do list.
I tug the edges of my thin, plum coat around me as I rush inside. First stop, I need a caddy to carry my supplies. It’ll double as a basket while I shop so I can make sure everything fits and that it’s a good size.
After finding a mod
est plastic caddy, I speed shop through the cleaning aisle, selecting a range of products to get the job done. I ran a small cleaning business as a side job back home before everything went to shit, so this is familiar territory. I only hope I can pick up enough clients to bring in some cash to save for my first and last month’s rent somewhere in town. Hopefully, at a place that doesn’t require a credit check.
As I walk to the checkout lane, I pass by an aisle of dog toys. I can’t overlook the opportunity to bring Ghost a present, even if money is tight for the foreseeable future. She was uprooted from her home just as I was, and even though I packed most of her comfort items in the limited space of my car, I had to leave some behind.
I stumble on a red plush in the shape of a dog bone that brings a grin to my face. Stitched in white thread in the middle is the word Killer. After her interaction with the sexy stranger last night, it’s perfect.
The one-hundred-fifty-seven-dollar total at the register makes me cringe. I carefully extract and count the cash from a white envelope. I miss the days when I could simply swipe my card and not think about the total, but I don’t currently have a bank account set up. Tate and I abandoned our joint account with the demise of our relationship. I figured I’d be a more responsible consumer if I had to hold the cash in hand.
The dog toy states otherwise.
“You must have quite the mess to take care of.” The voice comes from behind me, followed by the happy squeal of a toddler that cinches my heart.
I give the woman behind me a polite smile. “It’s just inventory.”
Her perusal from my hair to my shoes sets flame to my skin.
“Are you a maid?” She rests a hand atop the baby’s head, drawing my attention to the little one on her hip. The little toddler sports a pearly grin and a face sticky from the sucker clenched in his chubby fist. His brown eyes alight at my attention, and he reaches his other hand in my direction. His cuteness strikes me with a profound ache.
“I prefer housekeeper. I’m new here.”
“I could always use an extra hand if you’re looking for clients.”
