“Mystery woman?”
He knew he’d gone too far with that statement. Of course, she latched onto it. “And that’s all you’re going to get from me.”
“We’ll see about—”
Something crashed, and a cry from the living room pierced the air.
“Clara!” Faster than he could blink, Erin was up and to the child’s rescue.
She’d simply knocked books off a shelf. No cuts. No blood. Just startled, and quickly calmed by Erin’s hug and soothing words. More evidence in his favor. Erin might believe she couldn’t love, but he knew better. He’d witnessed it, just now.
The trick was getting Erin to dig deep enough into her gut for her to recognize what she really felt.
* * *
Erin breathed in and out slowly, calming down her heart as she cuddled Clara against her chest. Getting used to a child’s curiosity was going to take some doing, and it looked like she really didn’t have a choice. Not when an attorney was on Clara’s side. How could she convince Jon that she wasn’t the right person? By persuading him that he was not only fit to be a father, but the best choice for Clara?
Maybe if he met the right woman. She tapped a finger against her chin. Who did she know that would be good enough for Jon? And who was this mystery woman Jon and Sophie had alluded to?
“I want Mommy.” Clara’s declaration followed by soft sobs broke into her musing and snuck into a normally unreachable part in her heart, nearly splintering it. Sure, she’d done a lot of research last night, but every situation was nuanced. She had to let Clara know her mommy and daddy weren’t coming back, and the sooner she told her the better.
But how?
She looked up to Jon, who was lurking at the kitchen entrance, hoping he could read the desperation in her eyes, but he just shrugged and shook his head. Big help he was.
What was it she’d read? Be honest. Understanding the concept of death will be difficult, so try to relate it to another loss. Had Clara experienced any other losses? Erin closed her eyes, searching her brain files, while Clara’s cries for Mommy, and then Daddy, grew stronger.
“What’s going on . . . ?”
Erin turned to Mik. When had she snuck into the room?
“Why is she here?” A hard edge took over Mik’s voice while Clara’s cries escalated.
Really, God? You’re going to throw this at me all at once? Then You better give me some words and a whole bunch of grace.
Erin picked up Clara, sat on the couch, keeping the child tucked close, and gestured with her head to the spot beside her.
Naturally, Mik sat across the room on the cushioned rocker instead. That was where Erin should have sat, if she’d been thinking straight.
“So?” Mik crossed her arms.
Erin slowly inhaled a breath, to calm herself and to give herself a moment to corral her thoughts. “So.” Erin circled her hand on Clara’s back. “Clara will be staying with us for the time being.” Be honest, Erin, tell her the rest. “And possibly until she grows up.”
“She what?” Mik bounded off her chair. “First, she takes away my dad, and now she’s taking over my home?”
“Mik, honey . . . ” What else? Her daughter had spoken Erin’s sentiments exactly. Maybe if she explained Corey’s reasoning, even if she disagreed. “This way the two of you can grow up together. As sisters should.”
“And.” Jon sat beside Erin on the couch. “Your father and Lilith felt that your mom was the best choice as guardian.”
“But it’s not fair.” The waterworks started then, and every nerve in Erin’s body went on high alert as Mik and Clara cried in tandem. The phrase, “Quit crying, or I’ll give you something to cry about” flitted through her head, but she refused to use it like her mom had, and damage these girls.
“You’re right, Michaela, it’s not fair. I agree. But I also agree that Clara staying with us right now is in her best interest.” Oh, it hurt her to say that, and she refused to look at Jon. He probably wore an I-told-you-so smirk. She couldn’t resist adding. “As for the future, we’ll see.”
“Fine.” Which Erin knew meant “I don’t like it, but know I don’t have a choice, so I’ll live with it.”
“In the meantime, though, I need your help with—”
A standard ringtone chirped beside her.
“I’ve got to take this.” Jon leaped up from the couch and spoke as he hurried down the hall. “This is Jonathan . . . ”
Erin waited until she heard the click of a door closing before continuing. “As I was saying—”
“Spill it, Mom. Now you can say whatever you were holding back with Mr. Lawyerman in here.”
“What?”
“Come on, it’s obvious that you’re as thrilled about having her here as I am. So, what’s the problem?”
Annoyed with how transparent she was, and how intuitive Mik was, Erin drew the crying girl even closer. Clara finally started calming down, thank goodness. “Your father and his wife named me guardian of Clara.”
“Seriously?”
“Dead.”
Mik began laughing.
“What’s so funny?”
“One last dig from good ol’ Dad, right?”
Erin pinched the bridge of her nose, holding back her agreement, and not liking the stench of her lie. “Not a dig. Just the best for his daughter.” Whose cries for Mommy and Daddy became hysteric. She had to know something was wrong. This child never threw fits.
“So, what do we do then? What’s your plan?”
“How do you know I have a plan?”
“Mom, you always have a plan.”
True. It was how she coped. “My plan is to play matchmaker with Mr. Lawyerman. Clara knows him, he’s good with her, and he’d be able to provide. All he needs is a wife.”
“Good luck with that. The dude loves his bachelor status.”
“Oh, I know. I tried convincing him how good Sophie was—”
“Sophie? You mean the gay social worker chick?”
“You knew?”
“Well, duh. It’s obvious.”
To everyone but her, apparently. “Is it also obvious that Jon isn’t gay? Serious question.” She hated that Mik could read people better than her, but she wasn’t afraid to use her daughter’s expertise.
“Very.”
“Oh,” she said mostly to herself. “So, I should have checked with you before I asked him.”
“You didn’t.” Mik laughed so hard she started coughing and crying. At least it wasn’t sad crying anymore. There would be enough of that over the next few days, months. Year, probably.
“Oh, I certainly did, and he quickly put me in my place.”
“Mom, you crack me up. Daddy and I used to laugh at your goof-ups all the time.”
Erin looked away from her daughter and stared at the wall. Once upon a time, Corey had laughed with her, not at her. He’d once been attracted to her lack of social awareness. Until he’d decided that wasn’t cool anymore, and he found someone her exact opposite.
“I’m sorry.” She heard Mik mumble.
“It’s okay.” She set the now-quiet and sucking-her-thumb child onto her lap. Corey had tried to wean her off the thumb. Right now, Erin didn’t care. If that was where the child found comfort, so be it.
“I’ll help you.”
Erin jerked her gaze toward Mik. “Help me?”
“You know, find someone for Mr. Lawyerman, so it can be just the two of us again.”
“And so I don’t make any more orientation faux pas?”
“That too.”
“Thank you.” Erin drew her fingers through the Clara’s hair. “And I have one important question for you.”
“What’s that?”
“Did Clara ever have a pet that, uh . . . ” How to say it so the child didn’t realize what they were talking about. Guess in this case using euphemisms was okay. “A pet that passed away? I need to tell her . . . ”
“There was that clown fish.”
“What was its name?”
“How about I talk to her?”
* * *
What a mess. Jon hung up after getting an update from Corey’s parents. That Corey and Lil didn’t have a funeral plan already wasn’t a surprise. What twenty- and thirty-somethings did? But it sure would have made dealing with Lilith’s domineering parents a lot easier. The Caldwells hadn’t asked the Beldens their opinions regarding funeral planning. No, they told the Beldens what was going to happen, including plans to “rescue” Clara from Corey’s “mentally unstable” ex-wife.
Bring it, had been his first thought. Yeah, they had expensive lawyers at the end of their purse-strings, but they didn’t have him, and he was good. But then, winning came with being smarter than them, not more arrogant. Besides, the last thing he wanted for Clara and Erin was a strung-out court battle fighting for the child’s best interests. Clara’s best interests were for her to remain at Erin’s.
His biggest challenge was convincing her of that, especially since his abandonment of her lost him any cred with her. What he needed to do was find time to share why he’d . . . run. That was exactly what he’d done.
He wasn’t going away this time. Never again. No matter how hard she pushed, and he knew she’d shove with every muscle she had. He pocketed his phone and left the office, probably soon to be a nursery, to relay what the Beldens had told him.
Needing to awaken over-tired muscles, he stretched in the hallway, then peeked into the living room. And froze.
Mik lay belly-down on the floor, drawing pictures on an unlined notebook in front of her as Clara lay beside her watching, listening, captivated.
Clara wasn’t the only one.
“Remember Kalee Kaleidescope?” Mik pointed to a simple fish she’d sketched. Clearly, she hadn’t inherited her father’s artistic talent, but art was something Clara understood.
“Uh-huh. Kalee go to fish heaven.” Her lower lip protruded out.
“Do you remember why?”
Clara shook her head.
“What did Daddy say about Kalee’s heart?”
“It stopped burping.”
Jon had to slap a hand over his mouth to contain a laugh. He watched Erin do the same.
To her credit, Mik just smiled. She may not have wanted this little sister, but she sure was good with her.
“That’s right. Kalee stopped burping and her heart stopped pumping.”
“She go to fish heaven.”
“That’s right. She went to fish heaven, to God’s big lake in the sky.”
“I go see that big lake?”
“Someday you will.” Mik drew a picture of a car. “Remember when Daddy’s car crashed?”
Clara’s lip stuck out further, and she pointed to a bandage on her forehead. “I got owie.” She pointed to bruises on Mik’s legs and arms and a bandage on her neck. “You got owies too.”
“That’s right. We both got owies, and so did Daddy and your mommy.”
“Are they at hopsital?”
Mik shook her head and pointed to the picture of the fish. “Remember how Kalee’s heart stopped working?”
“Uh-huh.” Her lip trembled. “Did Daddy, Mommy hearts stop too?”
Mik nodded and wiped a tear from her cheek.
Jon wiped away a tear as well. Erin did not, but that wasn’t because she was unfeeling or unconcerned.
“Did they go to fish heaven too?”
“They went to people heaven.”
“I go see them in people heaven?”
Mik sat up and gathered her sister on her lap. “Not for a long time. Only when your heart stops working here. Then God fixes it in heaven.”
“But I don’t want Mommy, Daddy in heaven.” Her little chin quivered, and tears trailed down her chubby cheeks.
“I don’t either, sweetie, I don’t either.”
The two of them sat on the floor, rocking. Then Erin joined them, holding both children. Oh, she might claim she couldn’t love Clara, but he knew otherwise. She already loved the girl—it showed in her actions. After all, love was far more than a feeling. The trick was getting her to realize that loving was exactly what she was doing.
In the meantime, though, he had to take care of dirty work that couldn’t wait. He cleared his throat, and the huddle of females all looked at him. “Mik, would you mind watching Clara for a bit? I need to talk with your mom.”
Erin got up quickly, as if ready to be free of the group hug. She probably was eager. While she knew most people loved hugs, she tolerated touch. She followed him into the office, closed the door, and then slumped into her office chair, crossing her arms on the desk and resting her head there. “The phone call had to do with me?”
Jon leaned against the desk and looked to the left to see Erin. “You, Corey, Lilith.” He crossed his arms. “That was Henry. He wanted to get funeral plans done, but the Caldwells are being sticklers. Henry thinks Corey and Lilith would have liked their service together. Lilith’s parents want them separate. Honestly, I think they want to wash their hands of their daughter’s involvement with an artist.”
Not that he’d be too upset if he never had contact with them again, but the last bit of news he had for Erin informed him they weren’t out of his life by a long shot.
“Will the funerals be separate?”
“Yes. Henry gave in and said he wants the service soon. Zax should be home tomorrow and needs to return to wherever he was in a week. So, Corey’s funeral is planned for Tuesday.”
“That soon?”
“Why wait?” Had been Henry’s response, and Jon couldn’t say he disagreed. Why put it off? “Lilith’s folks want to finish their vacation first.”
Her head jerked upward. “You can’t be serious.”
“Completely serious. That’s what Henry told me right after he called Belinda Caldwell a very, not-nice name.”
“Like mother, like daughter.”
He couldn’t argue with that. Although Lilith had undergone a change of her own these past months.
This next bit of information needed to be stressed to Erin, so he wheeled her chair to face him and he squatted to be at eye level with her.
“Oh, I can read that body language.” She sat up straight, crossed her arms, and lasered her gaze directly into his eyes. “What is mine telling you?”
“That you’re miffed at me for taking charge instead of asking.”
“Bingo.”
He plopped down on the floor and raised up his hands, palms skyward. “I’m sorry.”
She relaxed and drew a hand down her face. “Me too. What do you need me to know?”
“That the Caldwells aren’t happy that you have custody right now.”
“When they’re off on a vacation that’s more important than their daughter’s funeral?”
He shrugged. “I didn’t say it made sense. Now they have some money backing them, but you and Clara have me.”
“Wait. You’re assuming I won’t gladly hand over Clara.”
“You would do that? Against Corey and Lilith’s wishes?”
“Oh, so sorry. I forgot that they bent over backwards for me.”
“Still wielding sarcasm like a sword.”
“It’s a useful weapon.”
“It’s a shield. There’s a difference.”
Erin clamped her mouth shut.
He got up into a squat again to look at Erin equally. “Do you really want her to go to the Caldwells? Think about it, Erin. I know you want what’s best for Clara.”
She kicked at the carpeted floor. “I wish you’d use lawyer-speak. I can combat that.”
“So . . . ?”
“Fine.” She flung up her arms. “Clara can—should stay with me for now. But there are things I need from Corey’s place. Mik has belongings there as well. Can we get in?”
“Not a problem.” He drew a keychain from his pocket.
“Corey gave you a key?”
“He stuck it in with the will. I’m assuming Mik has access too.”
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Erin shrugged. “Possibly, but you never knew with that woman.”
“True.” He stood up and re-pocketed the keys. His knees couldn’t take the squatting. Guess he wasn’t young anymore either. “Want to head over today? Joyce said she’d be glad to watch Clara.”
“Not really, but it’s best to get it over with.”
“Just warning you, it won’t be over until we go through probate.” And that could take as little as a month, but rarely did it go that smoothly.
“Fine. Whatever.” She drew her phone from her pocket and quick-dialed someone. “Joyce? Yeah, Jon, Mik, and I need to head to Corey’s place, and I don’t want to bring along Clara . . . Thanks. See you soon.”
She set her phone on the desk. “Done. And now there’s something else important you need to understand.”
He spread his arms wide, hoping she’d see that as him being open. “I’m listening.”
She stood up and crossed her arms again, telling him she wasn’t open to other ideas. Had to be one of her favorite postures, maybe because she knew he wouldn’t mistake it. “This is not a permanent situation, understand?”
“Completely.” He comprehended that was what Erin thought she wanted at this juncture. But once the cogs of probate had finally spun through, she’d change her mind. No matter what it took from him.
Chapter Eight
Eerie was the word Erin would use to describe stepping into Corey’s home. Less than forty-eight hours ago, the couple had left home with plans of returning later that night or the next day. Random lights were on throughout the house, and the TV was on in the living room. Safety measures Erin had instilled in Corey. One would think upon entering that not only did people live in the house, but that they were there this very moment.
Mik stood in the foyer, shivering. Cold? Or also sensing her father’s lack of presence?
Erin decided it was the latter and rested a hand on her daughter’s shoulder. “If you’d like to go wait in the SUV, Jon and I will get what you need.”
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