My heart still aches over what I did to her and to Mik. It was all me. A hundred percent my fault, though at the beginning I blamed Erin. When you’re doing something you know is wrong, you have to shift the blame somewhere else to justify your actions. My finger pointed at Erin. I didn’t realize then that the rest of my fingers were aimed back at me.
I don’t know if she’ll forgive me, but I have to tell her I’m sorry. I have to let her know she was an amazing mom, a loving wife, and a caring friend, although she might argue that last point. Still, it’s true. She might not recognize what she’s feeling, but her actions speak for her. The problem is, when you’re focused on your own problems, you stop seeing all the goodness surrounding you.
That goodness was Erin.
It still is Erin.
Now the trick will be getting her to listen to me. I’m going to talk to her tomorrow night before we bring Mik to the hockey game, match, whatever it’s called. I know Mik loves hockey, so I’ll be there for her.
Hopefully, Erin will agree to meet. I need to apologize. I need to give her this painting of my heart, and I’d be stoked if she chooses to add her own final touch as Lil did. And my parents. Mik. Jon too.
The choice is up to her.
Christ paid the price for my sins and has forgiven me.
That’s what really matters.
__________
Erin laid down the book on her bed. A normal person would blubber or at least tear up. She had nothing. What was wrong with her? Corey apologized. Took all the blame. Didn’t that mean anything to her?
Maybe seeing the painting would help.
She picked up the book again and brought it out to the living room where Jon was watching a baseball game with Mik. The two looked natural together, and that warmed her heart. Even made her smile. What would it be like to see them like that all the time?
She shook away the thought, though it wouldn’t leave entirely. She cleared her throat. “Have you seen this painting?”
His head jerked her way, startled, then he nodded. “It’s by far his best work.”
“I need to see it.”
“I thought you would. The Beldens are on their way over to babysit.”
She sat on the other side of him from Mik, hands clasped in her lap, and stared blankly at the television. “Thank you. You’re a good friend.” Though, she believed they’d become much more than friends, whatever that meant. She had to work on pushing other words past her lips, but not with Mik around.
“Mom, you are so clueless.” Mik got up and stomped to her room.
True, she was clueless, but she was also frightened of being abandoned again.
Jon sat silent. She’d hurt him again, hadn’t she? She gazed at him through her peripheral vision, hoping she’d sense those tingles she read about it romance novels.
No. No tingles.
But she could envision sitting here watching ball games together, or just reading books. She could see him taking Mik to her games and Clara to dance class. In a few years, he’d be the perfect person to teach Mik to drive and to stand in the doorway greeting Mik’s first date.
Was that love? Maybe tingles weren’t necessary. She unclasped her hands and started to reach over to grasp his.
And the doorbell rang.
Seriously?
She did feel disappointed. Certainly, that was a sign.
“I’ll get it.” Jon jumped up before her brain made up its mind. He flung open the door and greeted the Beldens with hugs. “Thanks for coming over.”
“Anything for family.” Joyce kissed him on the cheek. “And where are my granddaughters?”
Erin joined them at the door. “Thank you for coming over. Mik is hiding in her room and Lolli’s taking a nap.” She practically pushed Jon out the door, eager to see this masterpiece Corey had created.
And to see if there was any kind of spark between her and Jon, something beyond gratitude and friendship. Not like what she’d felt with Corey. That had been reckless and wild, and she’d been escaping the craziness that had been her mother. Maybe being alone with Jon would ignite something more.
But they drove to Corey’s house in silence. Maybe she’d gone too far and now he’d shut down his heart.
He led the way to Corey’s studio, also in silence. He unlocked the door and motioned for her to enter ahead of him. Then he walked to a sheet-covered easel and flung off the sheet.
She gasped and realized Jon’s silence was out of respect so she could absorb this moment. Never had she seen a work of art so beautiful. It literally stopped her breaths. He’d painted a rugged cross just to the left of the middle of the canvas. Storm clouds threatened to the left, and bright sun smiled on the right. On the middle left, open hands poured out what looked like dirty ceramic pieces. The pieces tumbled like a dirty waterfall toward the cross. The pieces that crossed to the other side were transformed. Bright and colorful and reflecting the sun’s light, intermixed with . . . She squinted at the iridescent gems. Pearls?
She stretched a hand toward the canvas, then stopped. “Can I touch it?”
“He’d want you to.”
She reached out slowly to feel the mosaic waterfall. Some pieces were real, but others were paint. How did he do that?
“Do you recognize it?” Jon said from behind her.
She studied the pieces on both sides of the cross and her eyes widened with realization. “The ceramic plates I threw at Corey.”
“And then you gave them to him as a wedding gift. That was brilliant, by the way. He was ticked off, all right. But for some reason he saved them.” Jon’s voice drew closer, and she felt his breath tickle her hair. “Corey was hearing God even then, though he didn’t realize that’s whose voice he was hearing.”
Then Jon’s hand was on her shoulder. She didn’t even flinch. More than that, she liked it.
He stood right beside her and opened his hand. In it were two items: a piece of that broken plate and a pearl. “He wanted you to complete it.” Jon said softly, preserving the solemnity of the moment. “However you choose. He wanted you to know that he was sorry. For everything. And I can vouch for his sincerity. Pearl, you were precious to him, as you are to me.”
Jon didn’t need to vouch for Corey’s sincerity. Erin could see it in this masterful piece. He’d understood what forgiveness was about.
As she studied the painting, Jon grasped her hand and caressed her tattoo with his thumb, stealing her breath.
Oh my. So that was what tingles felt like.
Keeping her hand in his, she accepted the two pieces. “How do I add them?”
Jon poured a dab of paint on a nearby palette. “Just dip and attach.”
“How do you know that?”
“I already added my piece.”
Oh.
Okay, she knew what she had to do. She dipped the ceramic piece and the pearl and added both to the right of the cross. “Corey, I forgive you.”
Epilogue
Today, Erin was ready to begin living again, and she felt . . . Excited.
“How do I look?” Nibbling on her lower lip, she studied her image in the mirror. She thought she looked good, but would Jon?
Mik stood behind her, wrinkling her nose.
Erin knew what that meant. “Then you pick out what I should wear.” She gestured toward her closet that had far too few choices.
“Gotcha.” Mik broke out in giggles. “You look amazing, Mom.”
“Are you sure?” Erin half turned, looking at her backside in the mirror.
“It’s just a date. With Uncle Jon. You guys know each other inside and out.”
“But we’ve never dated before.” Something tickled inside her stomach. Was that what others described as butterflies? “I’m nervous.”
“No kidding.”
The doorbell rang.
“I’ll get it.” And Mik took off before Erin could say “Don’t.” Yes, she was nervous, and identifying it felt good. She took one more glance in the mirror before
stepping out into the hall.
He whistled.
And heat warmed her cheeks, so she looked down, hoping to hide the pink glow he likely could see. Another sign that she was finally ready to take this next step with him. Yes, it was a dating step, but she believed it was important for them to see if romance was in their future.
Putting one high-heeled shoe in front of the other, she crossed the room to Jon on wobbly legs. When she finally looked up, her mouth went dry. Oh, my, he cleaned up nice. Tonight, she was going to be the envy of every woman at the restaurant.
He handed her a bouquet of mixed flowers. “I didn’t know what you like, so I bought them all.”
She dipped her nose into the bouquet and breathed in. “I like them all.”
“Shall we go?” He offered his arm.
She accepted it and handed the bouquet to Mik.
“Now you two lovebirds get going.” Mik shoved Erin in the back. “Clara and I are going to have fun.”
“You have my number?”
“Really, Mom?” Mik rolled her eyes. “Now remember, be home by eleven. You can hold hands, but no kissing. Got that?”
Erin giggled. Giggled! When was the last time that had happened? To be honest, she wouldn’t mind if she and Jon shared a kiss. Actually, she hoped for it. To think she’d let bitterness stand in the way of her caring for someone again.
Forgiveness had unlocked her emotional gate to the possibility of romance.
Jon opened the front door, let her step out first, then closed the door behind them. She started to take a step down, but his hand on her arm stopped her. She didn’t flinch, and even liked his hand there. She turned to face him, looking up into his blue eyes, then down at his lips.
Heaven help her, she wanted to kiss him.
With his finger, he lifted her chin. “I know Mik just read us the rules for tonight, but I’m feeling like the rule breaker I used to be.”
She gulped and closed her eyes as Jon’s lips whispered across hers, leaving her hungry for more.
The door flung open. “Hey, you two. I saw that.” Mik wagged her finger and grinned. “It’s about time!”
Dear Reader,
Thank you for reading A Beautiful Mess. I hope you enjoyed taking this journey with Erin as she grew from bitter to forgiving. Isaiah 11:6 tells us, “…a little child shall lead them.” That’s exactly what Clara did in this story. And, as usual, I learned right along with my characters.
To read more about Erin and Jon, be sure to check out my short story, A Beautiful Christ-mess, in Hope is Born: A Mosaic Christmas Anthology. This story focuses on the prodigal brother, Zax, who has a big surprise for his family. But he’s surprised by something that will turn his life upside down. This anthology features nine authors in The Mosaic Collection.
If you enjoyed A Beautiful Mess, please consider sharing a book review telling others why you liked the story. Your review doesn’t have to be long or eloquent, just honest.
You’ll find additional inspiration and encouragement at www.MosaicCollectionBooks.com and by reading other books in this uplifting series.
To be notified of all my upcoming releases, join my email list http://brendaandersonbooks.com/subscribe/. As a Thank You for subscribing, you will receive a Free copy of Coming Home, a Coming Home Series short story.
Thank you for joining me on this writing journey.
God bless,
Brenda
Acknowledgements
Before a book is released to the public, it passes through many hands, and many sets of eyes peruse its pages. I’d be remiss not to acknowledge their help in bringing this story to light.
Heartfelt thanks goes to…
My family—Marvin, Sarah, Bryan, and Brandon—for putting up with my long hours and for your constant encouragement.
Belva Williams, Social Worker, for offering guidance regarding what happens when a young child is orphaned.
Geoffrey Dobbin, Attorney, for sharing legal guidance regarding guardianship for an orphaned child.
Marika Kim, RN, for helping me understand potential injuries caused by vehicle crashes.
Beta readers Gayle Balster and Stacy Monson for braving your way through a messy early draft and helping me make it better.
Editor Lesley Ann McDaniel for helping to polish the story.
My fellow Mosaic authors, Stacy Monson, Eleanor Bertin, Deb Elkink, Lorna Seilstad, Johnnie Alexander, Regina Merrick, Angela Meyer, Sara Davison, Hannah Conway, Janice Dick, and our invaluable Virtual Assistant, Camry Crist!
And thank you, God, for piecing together this story, turning my mess into something beautiful.
Also by Brenda S. Anderson
The Potter’s House Books
LONG WAY HOME #4
PLACE CALLED HOME #11
HOME ANOTHER WAY #18
Find all the Potter’s House Book at:
http://pottershousebooks.com/our-books/
Where the Heart Is Series
RISKING LOVE
CAPTURING BEAUTY
PLANTING HOPE
Praise for the Where the Heart Is Series
“Risking Love is a touching story of love and loss - and risking your heart! I can't wait to read the next in the series!”
—Regina Rudd Merrick, author of Carolina Dream
“Brenda does a great job bringing us into the story, capturing our attention and keeping it till the end. I read the first book in this series and look forward to the next. I highly recommend Capturing Beauty - it's an inspiring story of second chances and new perspectives!”
—Angela D. Meyer, author of Where Hope Starts
“Planting Hope is a lovely wrap-up to the Where the Heart Is series. The strength, or lack thereof, of a family unit has a profound impact on all of its members. Brenda Anderson expertly illustrates that in this story, and all of her books, as she deals honestly with the idiosyncrasies of families - the good, bad, and ugly. Planting Hope is about the hope God plants deep in our hearts, and the lengths we'll go to for those we love.”
—Award-winning author, Stacy Monson, author of Open Circle
Coming Home Series
PIECES OF GRANITE (Prequel)
CHAIN OF MERCY (Book #1)
MEMORY BOX SECRETS (Book #2)
HUNGRY FOR HOME (Book #3)
COMING HOME (Short Story)
Praise for the Coming Home Series
“Anderson tackles family dynamics, tough issues, and gritty realism in her Coming Home series. From special needs babies to abortion and homelessness, you’ll root for her authentic characters as they face real life struggles.”
— Award-winning author, Shannon Taylor Vannatter
“ . . . heartfelt, heart-wrenching fiction at its best, exploring relationships and family, love, faith and forgiveness in fresh, life-changing ways. I see myself in these endearing, enduring characters, their weaknesses and struggles and hard-won triumphs.”
— Laura Frantz, author of A Bound Heart
“Anderson thrusts her readers into the gritty underbelly of family life and she doesn’t mince words or shy away from the difficulties that complicate relationships. The reoccurring themes of grace and restitution are delivered with heart-wrenching honesty. These compelling stories celebrate the joys and sorrows of ordinary living with an extraordinary God.”
— Kav Rees, BestReads-kav.blogspot.com
About the Author
Brenda S. Anderson writes gritty and authentic, life-affirming fiction. She is a member of the American Christian Fiction Writers, and is Past-President of the ACFW Minnesota chapter, MN-NICE, the 2016 ACFW Chapter of the Year. When not reading or writing, she enjoys music, theater, roller coasters, and baseball, and she loves watching movies with her family. She resides in the Minneapolis, Minnesota area with her husband of 30-plus years, their three children, and one sassy cat.
Connect with Brenda:
Email:
[email protected]
Website:
www.BrendaAndersonBooks.com
And via social media:
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BookBub
Coming soon to
The Mosaic Collection
HOPE IS BORN:
A Mosaic Christmas Anthology
Coming December 4, 2019!
Nine stories. Nine pasts to overcome. Nine futures hang in the balance.
Christmas is supposed to be the happiest time of the year, but what happens when the past threatens to destroy the peace and joy of the season?
When the men and women in these stories face overwhelming challenges in their lives, can hope be restored this Christmas?
Order at: bit.ly/HopeisBorn
Coming January 2020 from The Mosaic Collection
MORE THAN ENOUGH
By Lorna Seilstad
A Beautiful Mess Page 24
