by James Reston
A lot of guys saw worse.
NADINE:If anything I’m on a continuum now.
MARK: See, I didn’t want to see people
going through another era of
being so ignorant of the fact that war kills people.
NADINE:And I don’t know if it’s cynicism or just experience,
but I’m sure I’m never gonna plunge
in the old way again.
I’m not saying that trying to sound tough.
I know about that. I know all about that.
MARK: I feel protective of our children.
Once you’re out there, you know there is no justice.
I don’t want the children to die.
NADINE:But I have no old expectations anymore.
And when you have none,
you’re really free.
And you don’t ever plunge.
What do you plunge for?
MARK: It will happen again.
NADINE:I’m just going to work so hard because of what I know.
I do every day.
Did I tell you about not going to sleep at night
because I can’t bear to stop thinking about it all?
I’m just going to be so busy for whatever’s left.
(But I’m not mad at anyone.)
I don’t blame anyone.
I’ve forgiven everyone.
God, I feel my house is in order at last.
MARK: I DEDICATE . . . this evening to my friends . . .
I’d like a roll call for my friends who died.
NADINE:There’s one other thing.
When we all sit around together
with our friends
and we tell women
that no man can do it for you,
we all know it’s true,
but I guess for some of us
it never works that way.
At this point in my life,
this curtain has dropped.
MARK: Anderson, Robert.
NADINE:And we see . . .
MARK: Dafoe, Mark.
NADINE:We need them—to be here, questioning themselves
and judging themselves—and us—like Mark.
MARK: Dawson, Mark.
NADINE:I love Mark.
MARK: Fogel, Barry.
NADINE:Well, . . . so . . .
The material has been turning over and over.
MARK: Grant, Tommy.
NADINE:Where is it at now?
MARK: Gunther, Bobby.
NADINE:You see.
MARK: Heinz, Jerry.
NADINE:What do you see, just a cast of characters?
MARK: Jastrow, Alan.
Lawrence, Gordon.
Mullen, Clifford.
Roll call continues through CHERYL’s speech, ending with a conscious decision on MARK’s part to name KJ. among the casualties of Vietnam.
XI
CHERYL:The men have it all.
MARK: Nelson, Raymond.
CHERYL:They’ve had it for the longest time.
MARK: Nedelski, Michael.
CHERYL:There’s another thing I believe.
There’s a lot more people
that are messed up because of the way we were brought up.
MARK: Nevin, Daniel.
CHERYL:Not brought up, but the things we’ve been through
since we were brought up.
MARK: O’Brien, Stephen.
CHERYL:So I think our generation,
MARK: Rodriguez, Daniel.
CHERYL:the hippie generation, shortly before and after,
are gonna be the ones that suffer.
MARK: Rogers, John.
CHERYL:Because ninety percent of the men never straightened out.
MARK: Ryan, John.
CHERYL:But what I also believe
is that for every woman that has her beliefs,
there’s a man that matches.
MARK: Sawyer, Steven.
CHERYL:Whether you find him or not,
is, is like finding a needle in a haystack.
With our population,
I mean, that’s the odds you have.
MARK: Simon, Jimmy.
CHERYL:And there’s the Women’s Libs.
And there’s a man for them too.
MARK: Skanolon, John.
CHERYL:See, what we’re doing is crossing.
We’re meeting the men
that should be with the other ones.
And I truly believe that,
that there is an equal balance.
Even though our group is so fucked-up.
And we are.
MARK: Spaulding, Henry.
CHERYL:You’ll look, you’ll go in college campuses now
and it’s completely back the way it was . . .
and it should stay there.
MARK: Stanton, Ray.
CHERYL:I don’t wanna see that shit come back.
I didn’t even get that involved in it.
I got involved in it in my own little niche.
But I didn’t, you know, get into it
in the school matter.
I went two years and I had it up to here.
And sure I would like to have gone on to school,
but I was competing with Mark.
And I’m not,
I do not like competing with someone.
MARK: Vechhio, Michael.
CHERYL:I’m a happy-go-lucky person.
I used to be anyway, before I met Mark,
where you couldn’t depress me on the worst day.
And I had a good day every day of my life.
MARK: Walker,
Pause.
CHERYL:And that is the way life was gonna be for me.
MARK: R.J.
Pause.
XII
MARK points to his photograph of two grapefruits, an orange, a broken egg, with a grenade in the center on a dark background. Also some fresh bread, a fly on the fruit. From far away it looks like an ordinary still life.
MARK: My unit got blown up.
It was a high contact.
We got hit very, very hard.
The Marine Corps sends you
this extra food, fresh fruit, bread,
a reward
when you’ve had a heavy loss.
What can I say?
I am still alive—my friends aren’t.
It’s a still life.
I didn’t know what I was doing.
The WOMEN’s eyes meet for the first time as lights go down.
END OF PLAY
STRANGE SNOW
Stephen Metcalfe
About Stephen Metcalfe
Bom in New Haven in 1953, Stephen Metcalfe attended college in Pennsylvania and moved to New York City in 1976. His one-act plays Jacknife and Baseball Play were staged at New York’s Quaigh Theatre in 1980; his full-length play Vikings was produced by Manhattan Theatre Club that same year. Vikings was later seen at the Edinburgh Festival and heard on Earplay. Half a Lifetime was also produced, as a one-act, at MTC; the expanded full-length version was first staged by Michigan’s BoarsHead Theater, which premiered Metcalfe’s White Linen, a cowboy play with songs, in 1982. In 1984 Loves and Hours was produced by Cincinnati Playhouse in the Park, and Metcalfe’s most recent play, The Incredibly Famous Willy Rivers, opened at New York’s WPA Theatre in December. Metcalfe is the recipient of a 1982 CAPS grant and a 1984 playwriting fellowship from the National Endowment for the Arts.
Production History
Commissioned by Manhattan Theatre Club in 1980, Strange Snow opened there in January 1982, in a production directed by Thomas Bullard. The play has subsequently been staged at numerous theatres across the country.
Characters
MEGS
MARTHA
DAVE
Time
The present.
Place
Dave and Martha’s home.
The Play
Strange Snow
ACT ONE
<
br /> Scene 1
The lights come up on MEGS on the porch, stage left, HE looks in the window for signs of life. Nothing. HE begins banging on the front door.
MEGS: Rise and shine, you sweet bear! It’s time! The fishy-wishies are waitin’ for us like whores in heat! We’re the drunkest sailors on the block! Hah!? Hah!? (Nothing. HE comes off the porch, looks upstairs) Wake up, you great fool! We’re gonna dance on Charlie the Tuna’s grave! (HE does a quick dance. Waits. Nothing. HE comes onto the porch again. HE bangs on the door) Davey!? You up or what, guy? Hello? Rise and shine! Bed is for lovers or invalids, huh? Davey? Yo, Davey! You awake!?
A light comes on in the stairwell. MARTHA comes roaring down the stairs. SHE is carrying a golf club. SHE is in a robe and slippers. SHE wears glasses.
MARTHA: Stop it! Stop that noise! Stop it! (SHE glares at MEGS through the panes of glass in the door. SHE brandishes the golf club threateningly) If I have to come out there, you’ll be sorry. I know how to use this!
MEGS stops banging. HE grins.
MEGS: Well, hi there, little lady. Nice mornin’, huh? Kinda cold for golf though. Dark too. You always go golfin’ in your PJs? You got mud cleats in your slippers? (MARTHA glares at him, turns, puts down the club, goes to the phone) Who you callin’? You’re gonna wake’m up.
MARTHA: I’m calling the police.
MEGS: Why you callin’ the police, woman?
MARTHA: I suggest you run. The police will come and they’ll arrest you.
MEGS: Why would they want to do that?
MARTHA: Hello? Yes, I’d like the police. (For MEGS’s benefit) I’d like to report a disturbance.
MEGS: Hey, come on, I’m no disturbance. I’m a friend of Davey’s!
MARTHA: David?
MEGS: Dave Flanagan. This is his place, ain’t it?
MARTHA: David is in bed. At this hour most people are! You’d better have a very good reason for making such a racket.
MEGS (Grinning): I wake you?
MARTHA: Of course you woke me! You scared me to death!
MEGS: I’m a buddy a Davey’s.
MARTHA: I’ve never seen you here before.
MEGS: I’ve never been invited. But I’m a friend. Honest.
Pause.
MARTHA: Yes, hello? Could you please send a squad car to . . .
MEGS: No, wait, listen! You must be Davey’s sister, Martha!
Pause.
MARTHA: I don’t know you.!
MEGS: I feel like I know you! Davey talked about you all the time. Said you’re swell.
Pause.
MARTHA: Never mind.
MARTHA hangs up the phone. Moves to the door, unlocks it, opens it a crack. MEGS sticks his head in, grins.
MEGS: Joseph Megessey. Everybody calls me Megs.
MARTHA frowns at MEGS as if there is a bad taste in her mouth.
MARTHA: Megs.
MEGS: That’s my name, don’t wear it out.
MARTHA: It’s a ridiculous name.
MEGS: Ain’t it? (Pause) Your brother and me, see, we’re goin’ fishin’.
MARTHA: Fishing.
MEGS: Yeah. It’s opening day!
MARTHA: Ridiculous, The sun’s not even up.
MEGS: Exactly, See, those trout’ll be so bleary-eyed, they’ll think our nightcrawlers are filet mignon. They’ll go for ’em. Pow! And you know what we’ll do, Martha? We’ll bring’m home here and cook’m up for your dinner. What a you think a that?
MARTHA retreats from the door, letting MEGS in.
MARTHA: I think you’re a fool. (SHE turns on lights in the living room)
MEGS (Following): No-o! It’s opening day! The luck is rolling off me in waves! Smell? Perfume, huh?
MARTHA: Don’t come near me. You smell like dirt,
MEGS: No! Nightcrawlers! (HE displays a plastic baggy filled with nightcrawlers) Hey, Martha! You want to come?
MARTHA: What? Where?
MEGS: Fishin’! I bet there’s a rainbow that long just waitin’ with your name on it, M-A-R-T-H-A!
MARTHA: Ridiculous.
MEGS: No! Listen, what say you go on upstairs and give your brother a poke in the breadbasket. Get him on down here.
MARTHA (Brushing past him to close the door that HE has left wide open): I will not! I’ll have you know I was up till two in the morning correcting papers!
MEGS: Hey, no you weren’t! On a Friday night?
MARTHA: Every night!
MEGS: I bet you was out hullaballooin’ under the moon. I bet you got home five minutes ago and you threw on that robe to fool me!
MARTHA: You’re preposterous.
MEGS: Ya can’t fool me, woman! You got moonburns on your cheeks like roses!
MARTHA: I do not!
MEGS: Do!
MARTHA: Be quiet!
MARTHA tries to move past MEGS and HE sweeps her into his arms.
MEGS: Opening day, Martha! (And HE dances MARTHA around the furniture) Grab your partner, dance your partner, swing your partner!
MARTHA (Simultaneously): How dare you! Stop! You can’t just . . . I’m not dressed for . . . stop!
MEGS: Skip to the loo, my darlin’! (And HE deposits MARTHA in a chair) Thank you, ma’am! Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire better look out, huh? Yeah . . . uh, you think Davey’s up?
MARTHA: Joseph, I don’t think David remembered he made a date to go fishing with you.
MEGS: Opening day?
MARTHA: He wasn’t home when I went to bed at two.
MEGS: Naw, he musta remembered. (Yelling up the stairs) C’mon guy! I got my waders in the car! God, it’s good to meet you, Martha. Davey, he talked about you all the time, said you’re swell. Hey, has he ever mentioned me to you?
MARTHA: I’d of remembered it if he had.
MEGS (Grinning): Yeah. (MARTHA yawns) Would you look at me keeping you up? You oughta be in dreamland restin’ up for good ole Saturday night. Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. I’ll sit right here and wait. Go. Go to bed. (HE sits. HE “waits”)
Pause.
MARTHA: I’ll tell him you’re here. He won’t like it. (Pause) He hates being woken up. (Pause. SHE starts to leave; SHE stops) He throws alarm clocks through windows. (No response. SHE goes upstairs. Pause. SHE comes back down and proceeds briskly to the door with the intention of asking MEGS to leave) I’m not going to do it. He’ll take it out on me the rest of the day.
There is the sound of a toilet flushing from upstairs.
MEGS: Somebody’s up! I hear something flushing down the drain. Let’s hope it’s not last night’s dinner. (Calling up the stairs) ’Bout time, dude! Let’s get a move on! I’m borin’ your poor sister to death!
MARTHA: Why don’t I get coffee on? You’ll probably both need it.
MEGS: Hey, I’m fine.
MARTHA: Let me put it this way: David is going to need it.
MEGS: Don’t go to any trouble.
MARTHA: I assure you, I won’t. I’m up. (With a touch of sarcasm) I’m an early riser.
And THEY move into the kitchen.
MEGS: Know something? Me too. Up with the milkman every day. Listen, you do coffee and then Davey and I’ll go. I got food and drink in the car. I planned ahead. We are gonna eat better’n turkeys on the first a November. Osmosis, see. The trout are gonna feel it in the air that we’re fat and happy and they’re gonna be so jealous they’ll be chompin’ on air bubbles. Hey! Look at this! (HE takes what appears to be a large, brightly colored dustball from his pocket. HE places it ceremoniously on the table)
MARTHA: What is it?
MEGS: It’s a fly. I tied it myself. Ya like it?
MARTHA: It’s colorful.
MEGS: Oh, goddam, it is that, ain’t it? I figure it’ll either drive a fish mad with passion or scare’m half to death. Lotta hair and all of it cowlicks, Sorta like you, woman.
MARTHA (Her hands go to her hair): What? Oh . . . it’s a mess, isn’t it?
MEGS: Oh, no, Martha. It’s fine. It’s just fine . . . uh, I wonder what’
s keepin’ that big guy. Think I oughta go bounce on his belly?
MARTHA: I don’t think that would be a wise idea. Joseph . . . there are beer cans in the wastebasket. They’re David’s discards. From last night. Before he went out.
MEGS (HE nudges the wastebasket. Cans rattle): From last night? Oh. He forgot, didn’t he!
MARTHA: I’m afraid so.
MEGS: Yeah. Well . . . it’s OK. My fault. My dumb mistake.
MARTHA: Joseph . . .
MEGS: No! Davey’s a busy guy, drivin’ those trucks here and there and back again. Who has time for fishin’? Hey, it’s been real good to meet you, Martha. I’m sorry I woke you. I’ll let myself out. (HE begins to exit)
Pause.
MARTHA: Joseph? This is ridiculous but . . . he’s had hangovers before . . . DAVID!? DAVID! GET UP THIS MINUTE! YOU’RE GOING FISHING!
MEGS: You think he heard?
MARTHA: I’m sure the whole neighborhood did. DAVID!
MEGS: GET YOUR BUTT IN GEAR, GUY! PULL ON YOUR DRAWERS AND PUT SOME DOUBLE KNOTS IN YOUR SNEAKERS! WE GOTTA CATCH A TROUT FOR MARTHA’S DINNER!
MARTHA: YOU’VE GOT TO CATCH A TROUT FOR MY DINNER!
MEGS: You like trout, do ya?
MARTHA: I’ve never had them.
MEGS: Well, I’ve never caught’m but there’s a first time for everything.
MARTHA: I bet there’s a recipe in one of the cookbooks.
MEGS: You fry’m! You dump’m in corn flour and then whip’m into bacon grease and they come out brown and tasty.
MARTHA: If you catch them and clean them, I’ll cook them.
MEGS: You will? You’re on, Martha. There’s one sittin’ under a log waitin’ for us and know what? It has your name right across the rainbow, M-A-R-T-H-A!! (And HE sweeps MARTHA into his arms again) Swing your partner. Dance your partner. Glide your partner round and round. Skip to the loo, my darlin’!
MARTHA (Simultaneously): Joseph, put me down . . . you can’t just . . . oh!
And MARTHA breaks into helpless giggles. DAVE enters down to the bottom of the stairs. HE is in boxer shorts and is horribly hung over. MARTHA and MEGS stop at the sight of him.
DAVE: What in hell is goin’ on?
MEGS (Grins; pause): You’re up! (Pause) Look at you! Wouldn’t go off a high dive in those johns, guy!
DAVE: What do you two think you’re doing?
MARTHA: You and Joseph are going fishing, David.
DAVE: You’re out of your mind.
