They sat around the fire eating jerky and drinking coffee. It was a quiet night and she’d never seen as many stars before. “Do you think he meant what he said about washing his hands of me? I can’t help but worry that either Kent or my father will be back to get me. They know where I am. It makes me vulnerable.”
“We can talk about that after we get home,” Fitzpatrick whispered. He seemed to be deep in thought.
Angus stretched his hands above his head before he stood. “I will check the perimeter. I’ll be back soon.”
She laid out the bedroll Fitzpatrick gave her and made herself comfortable. As comfortable one could be on the rocky ground. She rolled onto her side and glanced first at the fire and then at Fitzpatrick. Her eyes widened when she found him staring at her. “It’s a beautiful evening.”
“It sure is,” he said still staring at her. He broke the stare and rolled out his bedroll. He placed it so his head was close to hers but not so close to be improper. “I’m sure you’re exhausted.”
“I am. Will we be back at the ranch tomorrow?”
He shook his head. “No need to push the horses. They went above and beyond getting to you.”
“It took a lot of effort to rescue me.” She tilted her head back so she could gaze upon his face.
He gave her an enormous grin. “It was worth it. I—”
“All clear. I’m going to bed,” Angus announced.
Whatever Fitzpatrick was going to say didn’t get said. She snuggled under her blanket and went to sleep.
Before dawn, Fitzpatrick and Angus were already up.
“Did you tell her yet?”
Fitzpatrick shook his head. “I started to a few times.” He shrugged.
“Women don’t like to be surprised, especially about this.” Angus gave him a hard look.
“Let’s just get packed up and head to town.” Fitzpatrick rolled up his bedroll and walked to the horses. Angus was right, but he’d might as well just wait. It was almost a done deal, plus he didn’t want to answer questions the whole way there.
All packed and mounted they started off. Brenna was still riding in front of Fitzpatrick. They hadn’t brought an extra saddle. But she didn’t make a fuss or anything. That was a good sign. She will be thrilled once they got to town. It was every woman’s dream, wasn’t it?
They weren’t familiar with this town, but they found the church easy enough. Angus went inside to talk to the minister.
When he came back out, he gave Fitzpatrick a quick nod. Angus lifted his arms and helped Brenna to the ground.
“What’s going on?” She glanced around.
“There will be a wedding,” Fitzpatrick said as he took her arm. He led her into the church and to the front where the minister and a strange woman stood.
“Welcome. Usually I like to take the time to get to know the couple involved, but I understand the, ahem, urgency. Things happen. Shall we begin?”
Brenna turned toward Fitzpatrick. “What’s going on?”
“We’re getting married.”
She was quiet for a long while as the minister performed the ceremony. She barely responded when she was supposed to. Once it was over, she stood tall and proud. Then she walked back down the aisle and out of the church.
Fitzpatrick hurried after her. He strode over to her side expecting her to meet his gaze, but she looked at her clasped hands instead. “Did you need to stop at the store?”
Without looking up she shook her head. “I would like to go home please.” Her voice sounded hoarse, and he wondered if she was getting ready to cry. It was for her own protection, she realized he had done the right thing.
He took the liberty of holding her extra close while on the horse.
Chapter Thirteen
Enough was enough. He’d taken away her right to choose. She would have chosen Fitzpatrick, but that wasn’t the point. All her life people had told her what to do and what to say. She wanted it to be what was done was done. That would be for the best, but her heart was breaking. Why not have a bit of consideration for her feeling? Why not ask her what she thought? Part of her wanted to be happy, but the bigger part was so disappointed and somehow, she felt ground into the soil.
“We’ll stop here for the night,” Angus announced.
She didn’t care where “here” was. She needed to tend to her business. Angus caught her around the waist and set her down.
“I need privacy from both of you.” Her voice sounded flat to her. She walked behind thick bushes. When done she hesitated before going back. Maybe being grateful was the way she should feel. Her hands fisted. Her heart and head were not in sync.
After pasting a smile on her face, she walked back to the camp.
“Would you like to find firewood with me?” His eyes held hope.
She nodded and followed him. She was intent on finding wood and didn’t realize he was out of sight until he was gone. If he didn’t care neither would she. Turning she went back to camp, dropped the wood on the ground and found a log not too far away to sit on. How long would it take for him to realize he’d lost her?
Angus put his load of wood next to hers and gave her an odd stare. “Where’s Fitzpatrick?”
She shrugged, pretending she didn’t care. “I looked up and he was gone so I came back here.”
“What do you mean he was gone?” Angus tilted his head as he continued to stare at her.
“You can stop giving me that look. I did nothing to him. I was collecting wood and he must have gone ahead. I came back here.” She lifted her chin. He didn’t seem to believe her.
“You didn’t search for him?” Angus shook his head as his eyes narrowed.
Frustrated, her eyes grew wet. “Do you think I did something to him?” Standing up she put her hands on her hips returning his stare.
“Did you? Both of you act as though neither likes the other.”
She had no words. Angus would know better than anyone how Fitzpatrick felt. Obviously, Fitzpatrick had sacrificed himself to protect her. A loud sigh escaped her lips. She was grateful, and she’d give Fitzpatrick all the space and freedom he wanted. Maybe that would make his situation less awful.
“Oh, good. I’d hoped you headed back to camp,” Fitzpatrick said as he let the wood in his arms drop. “I was going to go look for you.”
Her heart raced seeing he was fine. “I… uh, I’m sorry. I was busy gathering wood, and you were gone. I wasn’t sure what to do.”
“Coming back here was the best choice.” His glance went from her to Angus and back to her. “Did I miss something?”
She smiled. “No, Angus was just concerned about you.”
Fitzpatrick nodded. “Let’s get the fire going. Angus got us a few cans of beans in town.” He walked closer to her. “I know it’s been a hard day. From what I’ve learned from my brother’s wives, females dream of their wedding day from birth. Ours hasn’t been special at all. I’m sorry.”
She slowly walked to his side and touched his arm. “I understand.” She wanted to say much more, such as she knew he had thrown his life away to protect her, but the words got stuck in her throat. “Let’s get supper cooked.”
He put his hand over hers and gave it a light squeeze before he moved to make the fire. Everything he did caused her mind to swirl.
Angus watched her with suspicion, but she refused to let him know how annoying he was.
After they ate Angus put the bed rolls out near the fire. He placed her bedroll and Fitzpatrick’s as far away from the other as he could. Frankly, what was the difference? All she wanted was sleep. Fitzpatrick scowled at Angus and moved the two bedrolls, so they were side by side.
“You can have the spot closer to the fire.” His gaze was different, and it made her face heat.
“Thank you,” she whispered. She lay on her bedroll and pulled the blanket over her. Then she closed her eyes, hoping Fitzpatrick kept a bit of space between them.
The sun hadn’t yet risen, and Fitzpatrick couldn’t get back to s
leep. Brenna was beautiful when she slept. He’d never been so unsure of himself before. He’d done what needed to be done; he’d married her. Now what? Was he supposed to kiss her good morning? What about when they got to the ranch? Was he supposed to carry her over the threshold? The house had been far along when they’d left the ranch. Would it be finished? If it was, would they move to the new house tonight? He’d always been good at reading women before. He had known when one was interested and when one wasn’t. Brenna acted neutral.
She avoided him and his gaze plenty, but there were times, like today, when she touched his arm. Plenty of people had loveless marriages. They even had children. What about his rights as a husband? He’d have to consult with one of his married brothers. It wouldn’t be right to share a bedroom with an unwilling wife, would it? Why hadn’t he paid more attention about how marriage worked?
It seemed he’d spent most of his time competing against Murphy for a lady’s smile. He had thought little past that smile. He probably needed to be more mature, maybe stricter. He’d been too easygoing for anyone to really put much faith in him. It was his job to protect her.
The sun was rising, and they needed to head out.
Brenna had never been so happy to see a house in her life. Time alone would be a blessing. If Fitzpatrick asked about her comfort one more time… He’d been extra careful not to so much as brush against her. They touched because they rode on the horse together but, perhaps she was oversensitive about the whole thing.
Someone must have alerted the others. The house was full. Brogan helped her down and told her how happy he was she was back. The rest of the family said the same. Dolly gave her the biggest hug.
“I need to make an announcement,” Fitzpatrick said, his voice raised for all to hear. “Brenna and I are married.”
That was the last she saw of him for quite some time. The men all laughed and celebrated outside while the women went indoors.
Everyone gave her a hug and congratulated her. She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know what to do. It became so awkward, she told them she was tired and was going to take a nap. Then she headed into her small room.
She was a fool to come to this room. It was a room for a single woman. Her heart thumped hard. She didn’t know how to be a wife. She could cook and clean and take care of a house, but there was more to being a wife than that. The unknown scared her, and she trembled. What would be expected of her? Her father wasn’t a pleasant person, but she knew what was expected. There were rules in a marriage weren’t there?
A knock at the door halted her thoughts.
“I thought you’d want a bit of water to freshen up with,” Dolly said. She came into the room with a basin of water. “Do you want to tell me what is so wrong? You look like you’ll break down in tears at any moment.”
Dismay filled her. “It’s that noticeable?”
Dolly nodded. “I bet you have questions about being married. I’ve never been married but I can give you advice. Not everything needs to be a fight. It’s fine to admit you’re wrong. Talk to each other. Strong marriages are those that have a wonderful friendship as a base. Fitzpatrick is your husband now, and he should be your first concern. He looked embarrassed when he learned you went into this room instead of his.” Her expression became tender. “He is a good, gentle man, and I know the two of you can make a go of it. Ask the Lord for guidance and remember we are all family now. We are here if you need us.” She hugged Brenna and kissed her cheek. “Get washed and dressed and simply tell your husband your clothes are in this room.”
Brenna released a lengthy breath. “Thank you, Dolly.”
Dolly smiled and nodded. “I’ll see you out there soon.”
Tears filled Brenna’s eyes as soon as the door closed, but tears would make her eyes all red. She had to stop them. Splashing water on her face and changing out of the dirty dress into one she’d left behind when her father came to get her made her feel so much better. It was clean. It had a rip near the bottom, but that shouldn’t matter much. Green looked nice on her; at least that was what she’d been told. She brushed her red hair out and left it down.
Lord, thank You for bringing Fitzpatrick into my life. I know I’m to love, honor, and obey him. Please help me remember. I want to be a good wife.
It took all her courage to go back out there with a smile on her face. Things could have turned out so differently if Fitzpatrick and Angus hadn’t rescued her. It was time to act like a grown woman and not a little brat.
Fitzpatrick’s eyes brightened when he saw her. He closed the distance between them, took her hand and kissed her cheek. She stared into his eyes for any sign of resentment, but it wasn’t there. She smiled back and took a step closer to him.
“I needed to change my dress.”
“You look lovely.”
Her face warmed under his gaze, and she glanced away but she couldn’t help but look at him again. “Is my face as red as my hair?”
“Almost.” He chuckled and led her to the table. Pulling out her chair he helped her to settle into it.
Glancing around at the people seated, she saw much happiness for her, for them. Fitzpatrick leaned over and kissed her cheek again. She was so very blessed. Marriage might be easier than she thought.
Chapter Fourteen
Everything was fine until the questions of when they would move into the new house started. Fitzpatrick watched his wife turn white and tense. New bride nerves?
“We’ll look at the house tomorrow and see what still needs to be done,” Fitzpatrick replied. He gritted his teeth as he watched raised eyebrows as his family turned their eyes on Brenna.
She seemed to withdraw into herself. She had to be asked questions at least twice before she answered. Had she wanted someone else as her husband? He frowned and quickly changed it into a smile. He had a right to his own thoughts, and if his brothers thought something was wrong, he’d never hear the end of their advice.
“So, what will happen to your father?” Clarissa asked. She seemed to have blossomed. Her marriage to his brother Donnell must suit her.
Brenna gazed at the other woman. “I really don’t care. He didn’t care about me.”
“Did your memory come back?” Dolly asked.
“Bits and pieces, and none of it makes him out to be an honorable person.” Brenna looked down at her hands.
“This has been a busy afternoon,” Dolly said. “Everyone is welcome to stay for supper, but Fitzpatrick and Brenna will dine alone. This extensive family can be overwhelming.”
Overwhelming? Brenna had spent plenty of time around his family. She probably knew most of the wives better than he did. This time when he frowned, he didn’t bother to smile. He felt the heat of Brenna’s stare, but he didn’t want to see her unhappy face. How could she possibly not be happy?
He stood and held out his hand. “Brenna, come take a walk with me.” Her slow reaction puzzled and worried him. Her hand felt icy in his, and he led her upstairs to the bedroom. The way her hand shook didn’t instill much confidence. He had her sit on the bed while he walked to the window and stared at the horizon.
Finally, he turned. “I know marrying me was the last thing you wanted to do, but married we are. The way you acted at the table has everyone wondering about us, and my interfering brothers will watch to see if you’re smiling or not. You can’t just not pay attention. I didn’t know what to say when you acted as though you didn’t hear any of the questions they asked.”
He sat down next to her. “You don’t need to tremble and shake when I’m near either. We’ll get along well enough. If you don’t know how to answer a question you could always just say ‘what do you think, Fitzpatrick?’”
She stood and stared at him. Finally, her dam seemed to burst. “I think I have a right to be nervous. I certainly won’t defer every question to you. I’m sorry I’m an embarrassment to you. I’m at the end of my rope. It’s been a draining few days. I’m still trying to figure out how my father could be so c
ruel. Then he decided gambling and drinking was more important than my virtue. I was beyond frightened riding with William Kent. I was trying to stay sane the whole time. I was so relieved when you and Angus saved me, but I wasn’t able to just feel safe. The next thing I know I’m at my own surprise wedding.” Tears spilled from her eyes. “I don’t know the answers to what anyone was talking about. You discussed none of it with me! For all I knew, you planned to set me up in the new house and leave me.”
She sat back down and turned her head toward him. He saw the pleading for understanding in her sad eyes. “I also know we are to share this room, and I’m scared. I’m so out of sorts, and I don’t have a clue where I should turn.”
He put his hand under her chin and tilted her head so he could stare into her eyes. “You can turn to me.”
She shook her head. “You don’t even like me.”
Fitzpatrick pulled her close and put her head on his shoulder. He held her as she cried. She had been through so much, and he should have been understanding. Marriage would not be easy. He held her until she stopped sobbing. Then he took her shoes off and he put her under the covers. Hopefully she’d sleep.
Confusion filled her as she woke up. It took a minute for her to remember where she was. She sat up and shook her head. She’d acted like a fool in front of the complete family. She had practically shrieked at Fitzpatrick when he took her upstairs to talk. He probably thought he’d married a shrew. Her thoughts and emotions swirled inside of her and it was chaos. Had she scared him off for good? Shame engulfed her. He’d said she’d embarrassed him. She never intended…
What time was it? The moon was glowing. Had she run her husband out of his own room? She needed to apologize, but how? The pounding of her heart grew more pronounced with every step she took out of the room. By the time she walked down the stairs she put her hand over her heart. Would he be able to hear how out of control it beat?
Fitzpatrick: Cowboy Reluctant: Christian Historical Western (The Kavanagh Brothers Book 7) Page 8
