“What is this?” he said as the bag shifted in his hand. It appeared to be filled with tiny balls.
“You never seen peas before? You better tell your parents to give you more veggies. Now piss off, I’m missing my talk shows.”
The door slammed abruptly in his face, leaving him holding his cold bag of peas. He looked at the picture on the bag. This appeared to be sustenance. Why would food help? Perhaps these creatures could regenerate injuries with caloric intake? The question was, where did he put the food?
After some experimenting, and subsequently awkward pea removal, Gargle narrowed down his options to the voice hole. It was most strange that the noise hole was also the food hole. How did people converse while eating? He crammed a handful of peas into his mouth and was hit by a strange sensation. Taste was an entirely new experience for him; every other shell he had used that required food had viewed the consumption of sustenance as purely utilitarian.
It was a revelation.
He didn’t have the words to describe it, but he liked it. He continued munching on the peas, touching his eye each time. It was hurting more than ever. He must have to finish the entire bag for the healing effects to kick in.
***
“Ok, let’s try one more time,” Josh said. He pushed up on the joystick and the mech lumbered forward. It had taken a long time and a lot of trial and error to program the correct sequence of button presses, and it wasn’t quite perfect, but it was a big improvement.
He tilted the left analogue stick to the left and his virtual mech started to spin. So far so good, but now came the real test. He tapped the A button and the mech launched itself upwards in a jump. He was about to celebrate when the mech crashed back down to earth in an epic belly flop.
“I nearly had it! What happened?”
“The mech is top heavy and not designed to jump like this. What is the purpose of this maneuver?”
“Trust me, it will come in handy. Is there any way I can prevent that from happening?”
“There are six different boost jets that can be individually controlled with the M.C. for stability…”
“Boost jets you say? Ok, let me play around with those and we will figure out a suitable mapping. Where are they?”
A diagram of the controller appeared on the viewer with the appropriate buttons highlighted. They were frustratingly spaced out and hard to distinguish from all the other buttons around them. Josh held one down on the M.C. and a booster jet behind the left shoulder emitted a bright-blue flame, spinning the mech in a circle like a ballerina. Now this had potential. He tried another and triggered the opposite shoulder, spinning the other way.
The next set of boosters were wrist-mounted. If he extended the arms and triggered one it swung it around in a savage backhand. When he tried triggering both the force pushed him backwards. That might come in handy for dodging attacks.
The final set of highlighted buttons triggered boosters on the ankles. Triggering one thrust the leg up in a rapid knee strike, but when he hit both ankle boosters at the same time it launched the mech skywards in a more powerful jump. It still landed face down, but it gave him an idea.
After he had wrestled the mech back to its feet he prepared to test his theory. With some awkward twisting of his hands he managed to hover two fingers over the ankle boosters, while also pressing A on his own controller. As the mech jumped upwards and reached the apex Josh triggered the ankle boosters, giving him an extra thrust upwards in an impromptu double jump. As the Ticket Buster started to tilt forwards he quickly activated the wrist boosters, flipping the mech in the air to land awkwardly back on its feet.
“Yes!” he exclaimed enthusiastically. If the Ship’s Computer heard, she offered no commentary. It was a pretty minor thing to be celebrating, because it was completely unusable in a fight, as it dealt no damage.
As a temporary measure, Josh mapped the boosters onto the right stick. It was a long way from being refined, but if he pushed up on the right stick he lunged forwards, if he pushed left or right he strafed, and if he pulled back it triggered the wrist boosters for a hasty retreat.
He was just starting to get the hang of things when the boosters cut out mid-double-jump and his mech crashed back to earth.
“What happened?” he asked.
“You ran out of booster fuel. It is a finite resource.”
“Good to know, but make it infinite while I practice, I won’t be able to learn properly if I have to stop every five minutes to get petrol.”
“Actually the booster fuel is made of liquid oxygen mixed with…”
Josh interrupted, “I don’t care what it is made of, I just care that it works.”
“Acknowledged. Realistic booster fuel consumption has been temporarily disabled in this simulation.”
Josh’s mech was still lying face-down. He had a hunch and tried pushing down on the right stick, activating the wrist-mounted boosters. His mech did a turbo-charged push-up and flipped itself back onto its feet. That was a big improvement over his usual ‘helpless turtle’ routine.
He tested out a few more moves, testing the limits of what was possible. He charged in a straight line before boost strafing, jumping and double-jumping, ending with a mid-air strafe. When he landed he smiled. He was starting to get the hang of this.
The bracelet on his wrist buzzed. As he tilted it the screen appeared:
Task Complete - Baby Steps
You mastered basic movements for a level 1 Ticket Buster. Reward - £28.52
New Task available.
- The Best Defence: Learn to use two different weapons for a level 1 Ticket Buster.
He felt the familiar rush of endorphins and then chastised himself. Was he really that easy to manipulate? Also, the rewards could use some improvement.
“Hey Computer, what is with the twenty-eight quid?”
“As discussed, your task compensation is based on your current hourly rate.”
“Yeah, but my current hourly rate sucks. Can you not bump that up a bit? I promise it will help me to learn faster.”
“Negative. That is the amount of money you have voluntarily chosen to trade for your time. If I increase it, there is little to suggest it will provide an improved outcome.”
“But you said that money has no meaning to you, and it’s just 1’s and 0’s.”
“Very well. I shall double your rewards, but I expect an improvement in your performance as a result.”
“You got it, boss, but are you sure we should be moving on to weapons training already? There is a lot of refinement needed for the movement, particularly when chaining moves together.”
“This is not intended as a comprehensive training, it is simply meant to test your aptitude.”
He sighed. “Ok fine, let’s see what my weapons options are.”
A new menu appeared on the simulation, with a variety of choices. Some were handheld, others were shoulder-mounted. Josh said, “How many of these can I carry?”
“The level 1 mech can have two hand-held weapons and a set of shoulder-mounted weapons. Larger mechs can accommodate more weaponry, or larger weaponry, but be aware that a movement penalty exists for each weapon carried, based on its weight. I have converted the detailed technical specifications of each weapon, broken out into categories and rated out of ten. I believe this simple format is one you will be capable of comprehending.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”
Josh navigated his way through the weapons. He selected a huge pistol that was simply titled Blaster and pulled up the additional info:
Blaster:
The standard-issue Blaster is an all-round average choice for an all-round average mech. This weapon uses plasma based projectiles that move at an average speed and generate a lot of heat.
Stats:
Projectile damage: 3
Projectile speed: 4
Effective range: 5
Accuracy: 5
Firing rate: 5
Weight: 2 (4% reduction
in overall movement speed.)
Warning: Blaster will overheat if fired continually.
Next he checked his close-quarters weapon.
Energy Sword:
The Energy Sword is a staple of close-quarters mech combat. It has nominal armour penetration capabilities and is lightweight.
Stats:
Slash damage: 4
Slash speed: 5
Armour piercing: 2
Weight: 1 (2% reduction in overall movement speed.)
“Hey, why don’t I have more weapons options?” Josh said, selecting the Energy sword.
“The Ticket Buster is just the starter mech, it is intended to be a stepping stone. Higher Level mechs come with more weapon options.”
He moved on to shoulder-mounted weapons. Here he finally got a choice, rockets or missiles.
Rocket Silo:
A silo of rockets can hold 16 projectiles, which can be fired individually or in bursts using line of sight. No target tracking is available. Each rocket has a small blast radius that may hit multiple targets if they are close together.
Stats:
Projectile damage: 5
Projectile speed: 3
Effective range: 5
Accuracy: 5
Area of Effect: 4
Projectiles available: 16
Weight: 5 (10% reduction in overall movement speed.)
Missile Silo:
A silo of missiles can hold 12 projectiles, which can be fired individually or in bursts at one target or multiple. Tracking is available and missiles will maintain a lock on moving targets. The missile blast radius is only large enough to hit a single target.
Stats:
Projectile damage: 7
Projectile speed: 4
Effective range: 4
Accuracy: 7
Area of Effect: 2
Projectiles available: 12
Weight: 10 (20% reduction in overall movement speed.)
Josh flipped back and forth between the two. In the end, weight was what swung it, the extra 10% reduced movement speed for missiles was just too much, particularly when he’d have less projectiles to play with. He’d just have to get used to aiming.
His virtual mech appeared on the screen looking decidedly more threatening than before. It proved to be inaccurate though, as having weapons didn’t magically give him the ability to know how to use them.
He started with the rockets, as they were already firmly locked in place on his mech’s shoulders. He mapped the firing of them to the left trigger, and a quick tap fired a single rocket whichever way he was facing. He held the trigger down and the launchers emptied in a plume of flames and smoke, obliterating the wall on the far side of the virtual arena. They fired in a straight line; there was no trickery or nuance, they were the definition of point-and-shoot.
He tried firing them again, but nothing happened. “Yo, Computer, how do I reload my rockets?”
“You don’t. They are a finite resource. You have expended all your available rockets.”
“Good to know,” he said. He’d have to ration them in a real fight. He tried running, but his Ticket Buster felt sluggish and unresponsive. “Can I get rid of these bulky launchers then? No point in being slowed down by them if I can’t re-use them.”
“I am unsure. Let me check.” There was a pause. “I see no record of any lawyer ever jettisoning their launchers, but I also see no rule against it.”
“Ok, can I map it so that when the launcher is empty the left trigger will disengage the launcher?”
“Affirmative.”
Josh tried, and with a hearty clunk the launchers fell away from his shoulders. He tried moving again and nodded. “Much better. Thanks.”
Satisfied that he was on the right track, he moved on to the Blaster. His first challenge was getting it off its magnetic holster on the mech’s hip, which required a surprisingly high amount of individual finger control. Each finger had its own button on the M.C., and they often had to be pressed simultaneously. His mech dropped the Blaster countless times, and the Ship’s Computer refused to spawn it back on his hip. Instead she made him lean over to pick it up. This provided an entirely new set of challenges, mainly around balance. His mech fell face-first into the ground more than once before he had sufficiently got the hang of it, and when he did finally pick the Blaster up he lofted it into the air like a trophy.
Being far more careful not to whip it across the arena this time, Josh tried firing it. This was reasonably straightforward, as it only required one finger. He mapped it to the right trigger and played around a little with the timing, configuring it so he could hold down the trigger and fire the Blaster as quickly as the firing rate would allow.
He held fire down as long as he could, and the Blaster started to glow red. The Ship’s Computer said, “Your Blaster is overheating. Would you like to add a safety limiter to prevent it firing when it reaches 80% of its heat capacity? This feature exists on the M.C.”
“Nah, I don’t want my weapon to stop shooting without warning. I’ll just get a feel for it. Can you tell me when it is fully cooled down?”
He waited about 20 seconds, watching the redness fade from the Blaster, before the Computer said, “Your Blaster is now back to baseline temperature.”
“Got it.”
He tried to aim the Blaster, but he hadn’t mapped any of those controls yet. For now he left it like the rockets, shooting straight ahead.
He’d mistakenly assumed the Energy Sword would be easy, like the Rockets, but he hadn’t accounted for retrieving the weapon from its magnetic holder on the Ticket Buster’s back. It was a complex process, involving numerous joints and motors all twisting and turning in harmony, not to mention the darn fingers again. It took a long time to make it happen smoothly, and after all that effort Josh realized he’d barely ever use that particular command. He mapped it to a long press of the X button, then had a brainwave. “Can we reverse those actions to put the energy sword away if it is already drawn?”
“Affirmative.”
He tried and the mech swiftly flipped the sword back into place. That at least saved him some time.
Next up on the list were some basic sword moves, like jab and swipe. The good news was that aiming wasn’t a concern, but making the moves flow smoothly into each other was far from straightforward. The Ship’s Computer refused to do the work for him, but she did offer a few useful hints that nudged him in the right direction. He had several ideas for combos, but those would take more time than he was willing to invest right now.
What he needed was to get a feel for his weapons in combat. That was where his work would be tested. He said, “Ok, I think I’m ready to test these out. Can you add an opponent?”
“Not now. There will be plenty of time to practice later. We must prepare to enter orbit around Blurgon. Would you like me to save the current M.C. mapping to your game controller?”
“Sure.”
He felt his controller vibrate in response.
The viewer changed to reveal a light-brown ball. There was no sign of water, or clouds, or even plant life. The only interesting thing about it was the large fleet of ships that surrounded it, each branded with the same G.C. logo they had previously encountered. There were thousands of them, possibly even millions, and they buzzed around the planet like flies on a turd.
Josh placed his game controller on the floor and stood up to appreciate the full majesty of what he was seeing. It was so vivid, he was impressed with his subconscious. This was straight out of a movie, the type where the plucky space pilot somehow destroys an entire fleet of enemy ships. Each one flew around performing its own task. Some were repairing larger ships with bright-red lasers, while other, smaller ships darted between the huge ones. In the centre was a massive circular structure, with a huge glass dome in the centre. Josh pointed at it. “What is that?”
“That is the G.C. command outpost. It is where they are coordinating the hostile takeover of Blurgon.”
“Wha
t is there to coordinate? They clearly have the numbers. Why don’t they just carpet bomb the planet?” Josh said.
“Based on what I downloaded of your history I understand why you would suggest such a violent proposal. Note that large-scale military action is rare in most of the universe. Weapons have advanced to the point where they can destroy entire planets, which means nobody can use them, for fear of the consequences. The only way to do it legally is through lawyers.”
“I still don’t understand that part. How are the lawyers involved? Do they invade in their mechs?”
“Negative. Trial by combat has long been the preferred Blurgon method for settling legal disputes. It is a lot easier to be brave when you can simply inhabit a new shell if the old one is destroyed. Ironically that became the source of the problem. Eventually someone enhanced their shell with cybernetics, which were cheaper than organics. It was technically against the law, but they challenged the law with their enhanced shell and won, paving the way for more and more cybernetic enhancements, until eventually the machinery took on a form of its own.
“For a while the lawyers piloted inside the mechs, convinced that it was required to feel the surge of combat, but after multiple casualties and expensive shell replacements the lawyers finally agreed that control from afar was preferable. It was much more efficient that way.
“Slowly a system was developed to classify the various standardized chassis, ranging from least to most dangerous. The higher the level of the mech, the more they cost to run per second, ten times more every level, which made trials too expensive if both sides used high-level mechs. For a long time lower-level mechs were used for most trials, to keep legal costs down. That all changed when the Galactic Corp arrived. They have near-infinite resources and have been fielding mechs 2-3 levels higher than necessary for every lawsuit, forcing the Blurgons to either match them and burn their resources, or fight with lower-levelled mechs and increase the chances of losing the case. They have turned it into a war of attrition, which they know that Blurgon cannot possibly win.”
Grow Up Page 8
