“It isn’t your fault this person wants you to stop what you’ve worked so hard on for so long. You’re doing great things and there’s bound to be someone who would be jealous of your success.”
He chuckled and nodded. “I guess you’re probably right, but if I hadn’t done something that obviously pissed someone off, you would be safe.”
“You shouldn’t have come back,” I said without thinking. His eyes went sad and he looked down at the floor. I shook my head and walked over, standing a few feet away from him, “Sorry. It slipped out. I didn’t mean it.”
“No need to be sorry,” he replied. “You have any and all rights to deal with things the way you want to. Hopefully in time when this is all over and we talk about what happened in the past and you understand what happened, you will find it in you to forgive me. If you don’t, I’ll have to accept that too.”
I stared at him for a moment, wanting to tell him that I wanted to forgive him but that would be stupid. Did I actually forgive him? No. Not yet at least. I shook my hand, “Look, we are getting off track right now. What we need to do is focus on the case at hand. I am going to push harder at trying to find any inconsistencies or weird routines the staff members have. That may give us a chance to ground out the motive and that in turn would wind down the suspect pool. I hate questioning the staff but it needs to be done and I hope you can give them a better understanding once this person or people are caught. With your turnover rate and low training costs, it looks like they trust either you or trust the work they do is important. Both reasons to appease you in things like this.”
Graham took a moment to gather himself and nodded, “Yeah, I get it. I will put out an office wide memo or at least to whoever you think would be the best help. I have a lot of employees.”
“Whatever it takes to find the answers, right?”
Chapter Thirteen
Graham
I paced the floor, my hands behind my back, thinking about everything that had been happening since I first discovered I had someone very invested, not only in my future and ruining it, but to my past as well. It wasn’t a good feeling to start with, knowing I had done so much to get here, to do things the right way after finding out about Cyrus. But now to know this person is also willing to endanger the life of someone else, someone close to my heart, it made me furious. If it weren’t for the fact that I needed to make sure that Lindsey was safe, I would be out there hunting them down myself.
Pausing at the window I could remember several times, standing right there, watching as Lindsey got home from work, surprising her with a good meal, amazing conversation, and ultimately crazy wild sex. It was more than I had done for any woman in my life up to that point, and any after that to be exact. Everything after her was meant to be short term in the moment. My heart never left her.
Still, while I had felt the pangs of separation at least I understood. I couldn’t even start to begin to understand what she felt in those days and weeks after I disappeared. I had abandoned her, and now standing in her apartment, seeing her, touching her, hearing her calm, I couldn’t rationalize why I just left. Why I wouldn’t have explained everything to her.
“I have a very hard time believing something,” Lindsey said from behind me.
I turned, watching her sitting on the edge of the couch, her hands clutched in front of her. “What’s that?”
She sat thoughtfully for a moment. It was something she had always done. She always chose her words carefully. In that moment I felt it was more for the benefit of understanding then for me. “If there is something that big… So big it would drive a person to attempt to blackmail you, threaten people you care or cared for, and attempt to ruin your business, and ultimately your life, one would think you would have some sort of inkling of what it could be.”
My stomach flip flopped and I turned back toward the window. “It’s strange isn’t it? You would think I would be able to pinpoint it. But then again, not every crazy person has a real life motive. Sometimes what they think is a motive is all imaginary in their head.”
There was a silence. This silence was not like others. While I could hear my heart pounding louder and louder in my ears, I could also sense Lindsey wasn’t buying it. She was smarter then that, more intuitive then that. And during our time together she had immersed herself in getting to know me as a person.
“You know,” she said sitting back and crossing her legs. “If I didn’t know you, I might be able to buy that.”
Oh, the cringe that was overcoming every fiber of my being.
“But since I know you,” she continued. “And the way you look away, or tighten your shoulders when you are hiding something. I am here to help you, and now myself, but I cannot do that until you accept the idea of being completely honest with me. It has been a long time since you have been. And believe it or not, silence can be a map of betrayal just as much as untrue words.”
My eyes shifted down the pane of glass and I turned back around, staring at her. Her face was strained, an attempt to hide her emotion. She had become very good at that over the years. I guess she had to, telling people she was okay, lingering and waiting for answers but never getting them. While I didn’t want to tell her, I owed her something. She was right, I had asked for her help and now she was deeper involved than ever.
I walked over to the overstuffed chair and took a seat on the edge. I leaned forward and rested my elbows on my knees, clutching my hands lightly and looked down at the floor. There was a small red blotch in the carpet below my feet and I remembered instantly how it got there. It had been Christmas Eve and Kitt had gone off to a boyfriend’s for the night. We drank wine, got wild, and ended up spilling some on the floor during an attempt to be kinky with red wine, a red scarf, and my dick.
Sounds confusing and it was. At least when we sobered up.
“I am all ears,” she said.
I nodded, taking my thoughts back from the memories. “I think its about my son, Cyrus.”
Lindsey’s scowl faded and curiosity, shock, and confusion took it’s place. She sat forward, staring at him, shaking her head. “But we were together for so long. How could you have had a son and I not know about it?”
“Because I didn’t know about him at first and now, I don’t get to see him. He knows nothing about me,” I explained as short as I could.
“Where is his mother? Can you really just take a child like that?” she asked, shaking her head.
It was just like her too. She had just found out that her ex had a son, and her first instinct was to protect the child, and protect him. She did it without even thinking, a natural reaction that made telling her about things a bit easier in context. Still, he could see the questions just piling up and piling up in her brain.
She was probably retracing her steps, every inch and second of our relationship to see if she had missed something. But in truth, he hadn’t even known he missed something until it was found. “Cyrus’s mother passed away a few years ago. She had a pretty brutal battle with Cancer as I have been told. She died peacefully in the hospital and Cyrus went where he had spent most of his time anyway, to his grandparent’s home. The ‘in-laws’ were not happy for me to find out, but Millie, his mother, had sent me a letter from her death bed. I got it after she had passed.”
Lindsey put her hand to her mouth and gasped lightly. It was adorable and so amazing how much she cared for others. How she truly used every emotional pull she could to try to make the world a better place. It made him feel ten times as bad as a human being with the things he had done. Another reminder that she was probably much better off without him.
“That’s terrible,” she whispered. “That pour child. He will be so confused when he gets older.”
She shook her head in disbelief and kept looking up at me like she was going to ask me a question but never did. “I’m sorry, it’s a lot to take in. I never knew that you were married and that you had a child.”
Graham put up a finger. “Almost married. I
never married her because I never intended to from the beginning. She was a fun girl, one that many others had fun with as well. We spent a lot of time together which made it seem like more of an attachment then I would have liked but then one day she just stopped answering her calls. She and I had talked about the possibility of marriage but on the level of a business venture. She was taken care of, could stop doing all the things she was doing, and I would appease my impatient parents.”
“Kind of sounds like a good deal,” she chuckled. “But what does all of this have to do with the letters? As much as I want to know more about this, I have to get the rest of it done first in order to start searching for these people.”
“Well, no one knows about Cyrus,” I explained. “And the grandparents, though they allowed me to play with him a couple of times, insisted on my separate residence, and Cyrus would stay with them. I wanted to take it to court but some of the guys were vets and the Captain of the small vessel was renowned. I knew if we took it to court it would hurt Cyrus in the end. So, I agreed to give it up, a picture every year being my consolation prize.”
“That does sound horrible,” she said quietly. “So, you think the blackmailer is going to release to the public that you have a child but you don’t see them.”
I nodded. “And because without my pure and sincere explanation of why it happened, people will automatically blame it on me. Now, I understand due to my own preconceived notions, but I did everything I could when I found out. I gave up everything in my life. And my son cannot see me until he is of age. I have fought it and it is done. So, I have moved forward, not on, but forward, building my brand, my life, so when he is old enough, I can welcome him into an empire of love and future.”
“And if people find out now, then he will find out now, and that could ruin it,” she said. “It could ruin him too. Being a child and not understanding especially with his mother dead. Jesus, Graham. This is a lot. I wish you would have confided in me. Told me what was happening. No matter when it happened. I would have listened.”
I could tell she was being completely sincere. She did not let people walk all over her but she did not turn someone down when they needed to talk, to express their pain. But my pain had been bundled, blunted to make it palatable to myself. There was nothing I could have said to ease that, not even to her, not during that time. I was bitter and angry and so very sad. To stare at a child and see you through and through but then be told to walk away. It was torture.
“I appreciate that, but I was in a bad place,” I explained. “I would have drug everyone down with me, and that is not okay to do as a friend. I did what I thought was right to protect people from that. It didn’t turn out perfect but there was no way that it could have.”
She didn’t need to know anymore then that. She didn’t need to know that it happened when I was with her, or that my leaving was because of that. She didn’t have to know that my absence wasn’t malicious because while she thought that, it may hurt, but at least she could cover it with anger. When your anger is made up, the pain can almost swallow you whole.
Lindsey yawned and laid down on the couch, putting her head on the pillow. I watched her as she tried to keep her eyes open, staring at the door as if the assailant was going to burst through at any moment and show themselves. After a while though that stubbornness wore out and she fell fast asleep, cuddled up to her throw pillow. I quietly stood up and walked into her room, grabbing the blanket off the end of her bed.
As I walked out, I paused, seeing that bracelet gingerly laid out on the desk, the box behind it. I glanced up at the hallway and then walked over, opening it up. Inside was the note I had left with it. Something I had scratched on a piece of paper from Will’s office when she came to get me for lunch twenty minutes early.
I smiled, running my hand over the wrinkled blue paper, the ink smudged just slightly from wear. The pain may have been great for her, and she may have been so stubborn she refused to give into it, but she still remembered me every day when she put the bracelet on. I couldn’t let myself read into it. It could have been an overlook on her part, but it was nice to see she didn’t hate me enough to burn every memory she had of me.
I gently closed the box and headed back out, taking the blanket and covering her up. She snuggled in further, and I paused, wanting so badly to hold her. Holding back those feelings I plopped down in the chair and pulled the throw from the back, covering myself across the chest. I leaned my head back and stared up at the ceiling, the fan circling quiet around and around above me. How many nights had I laid awake watching my own fan circle around, wondering if there was nothing more?
Sitting there next to Lindsey, though, I knew no matter how things turned out between her and I, there would always be a reason for me to stand by. To watch out for her and for the rest of the people in my life. Whoever this person was, I was going to find them, and I was going to make them pay.
Chapter Fourteen
Lindsey
For three days…
The ticking of the clocks echoed around me.
For three days…
Every light noise woke me from my sleep wondering whose eyes were watching.
For three days…
I buried myself in work, searching through every shred of information and evidence that I could.
And for three days…
There was silence from the stalker.
My phone alarm beeped wildly and I jolted awake in my bed, looking around wide eyed. When I finally got a grasp on where I was, I grabbed my phone and clicked it off. My body, not giving me a choice, collapsed back into the pile of pillows, blankets, and paperwork. I did something I always told myself not to do. I brought my work home with me. But did I really have a choice? Wasn’t the constant concern for safety, the constant circling of security that Graham had ordered as if I wouldn’t find out, the dreams of battles with dark faced foes enough to say that work was already right there at all times?
We had installed a security lock on the doors the day after the event. Not an alarm by any means but a loud chiming and screaming buzzer that went off within ten seconds if you didn’t disarm it. If nothing else, the neighbors would notice if something went wrong. I could smell the heavenly aroma of coffee coming from the kitchen so I grabbed my slippers and shuffled out. Kitt was already gone, off to the office to meet me and help go through the stuff.
A mug of coffee sat on the counter with a sticky note on it. I was really learning to hate notes. “U were asleep. U needed it. Come in when you’re ready. Drink this, poison is free.”
I chuckled and shrugged tipping it back and taking a sip. If it was poison then I would have a dramatic ending. All the better. If not, which it obviously wasn’t, I would head to work with the elixir of life flooding me and then drink some more. A win-win situation for all involved.
I jumped in the shower and washed off my body, using my peppermint shampoo to attempt to wake my ass up. I’m not sure if it was that or the coffee, but by the time I was done, I was ready to go. I grabbed my things and set the alarm, heading out of the house. I did a triple check on the locks before leaving, paranoia now a daily occurrence for me.
Walking into the office felt good. I got to focus my mind on what it had been trying to focus on for hours. No rest for the mind until the fears and worries were washed away. My father had always told me that, and I found in my early adulthood, that saying couldn’t be truer.
Kitt walked out of the back, reading a file and jumped when she saw me. “Good lord. I seriously was about to start throwing things at you.”
“Sorry,” I replied heading over to the desk. “I was in zombie mode when I got here.”
“I told you to get sleep,” she said, eyeing me as she sat down at her desk. “But here you are, unable to let even a moment pass you by.”
“One more of these moments spent on finding the stalker is one more minute I will get to leave fear free when its all over with,” I replied.
Kitt smiled an
d went back to work as I sat down with my stream of files, information on all of them, and stacked in levels and rows dependent upon the level of risk I somehow assessed them at. After staring at them over and over, listening to the drone of accolades from the employees and vendors of Graham’s company, my brilliant scheme to narrow it down had been lost.
Still, one file stood out to me, and I couldn’t put my finger on exactly why. It could have been the felony charge. It could have been the fact that he moved from Boston to St. Paul but was rarely available there. Or it could have been the one phone she had gotten him to answer. As soon as she said her name, he went silent, and when Graham was mentioned he lost it. Cursing, spattering, mumbling, and then a hang up. That was what she got out of the guy. But what could he have possibly known about Cyrus?
“Do you think janitors know more about a company then the board members?” I asked Kitt. “I’ve heard that before.”
“Uh, yeah. I would say so,” she replied. “I had a friend that was a janitor and he always told me they were the ones with the secrets.”
I tapped the pen on the desk, biting my lip. Grabbing Gabe Rareheart’s folder I opened it up and found his address. It was a 21 hour drive to Minnesota so a flight would definitely be in order. Of course, that was a no brainer. Graham had his own jet, and I knew from experience he could have it ready in just an hour.
I wasn’t sure if that was the right route, going that far with Graham, but I really didn’t have any other leads. Picking up my phone, I cringed, not even knowing what to expect. “Hey, everything okay?” he asked immediately as he picked up.
“Yeah, everything’s fine,” I replied. “No emergencies.”
He exhaled. “Good. What’s up?”
“I don’t know how likely it is you have the time, but I have a small hunch or lead on someone that has potential,” I said. “He used to do some janitorial and light mail room work for you. His name is Gabe Rareheart. Does that ring any bells with you?”
Strange Love (Choose Yours Book 1) Page 10
