“Squats?” Lin raised an eyebrow at the word.
“Squatters usually take over a bit of someone else’s land and establish a claim of one sort or another. It’s not uncommon in the West for people who can’t afford a place of their own to hunker down and make a living on someone else’s land, especially if no one takes them to task for it.”
“And you think that’s what Faith has done?” She considered that thought. “That doesn’t sound like a very honest thing to do, does it? And I’d have given her credit for being above reproach.”
“She may very well be,” Nicholas agreed. “Squatting on a bit of Cleary’s thousand acres doesn’t make her a criminal. I think she probably has a past she’s not going to make public. At least, that’s the impression I got. A woman like that is wasted out here, which tells me we don’t know a whole lot about Faith Hudson.”
“Well, I like her,” Lin told him, lifting her chin in a defensive motion.
Nicholas grinned down at her. “You make a stout defense of the lady, Lin. I’m glad you’re on my side. I wouldn’t want you for an enemy. I fear you’d be a savage, given good reason.”
“Savage? I’ve never thought of myself in that way.”
“Given reason, I’d say you’d defend your own tooth and nail, lady.”
She nodded. “You may be right there. I defy anyone to touch Amanda. Or you, for that matter. Which reminds me. I need a lesson on shooting one of the guns you brought here.”
“I agree,” Nicholas said quickly. “We’ll tend to that this afternoon.”
The lesson went well, Nicholas setting up a target on the far side of the barn, against a straw stack, where any stray shotgun blasts would be captured by the dense mountain of dirty, yellow straw. Lin held the heavy gun to her shoulder and lined up the sights with the metal bucket and an assortment of battered tin cans Nicholas had placed atop a makeshift table. Two sawhorses with a long piece of lumber stretched out between them provided a place for the targets, and Lin stood thirty feet away, ready to fire.
The scattered shot from her first shell spun the bucket from the table, then buried themselves in the straw. The second hit a large can, blowing it into the depths of the straw stack. She looked up at Nicholas with a wide grin.
“How’m I doin’, mister?” she asked, assuming a drawl that pleased him.
“Hot shot,” he declared. “You don’t need lessons, lady. You’re a natural.”
“This is easy,” she said, lowering the shotgun, then rubbing her shoulder. “You didn’t tell me it would punch back though.”
He moved her fingers, replacing them with his wide palm. “Just part of the game, sweet. It gives me a chance to give you a nice massage later on. I’ll put some liniment on that shoulder tonight.” The movement of strong fingertips eased the buffeting her shoulder had taken, and Lin wiggled beneath his touch.
“That feels good,” she said, leaning her head back to rest against his shoulder.
His fingers ceased their movement and he bent to kiss her temple. “Do you feel better about shooting a gun now? More secure?”
“Yes. Though I doubt I’ll have reason to use it, it’s a comfort to know how to load the thing and know that I can come somewhere close to my target should I find the need.”
“Do you ever wonder about your father?” Nicholas was silent and Lin, for a moment, regretted her impulsive question. He’d had put his past in a box, it seemed, one she was forbidden to open. Causing a rift between them was not her intention, yet she could not help but wish for Nicholas to attain peace of mind regarding his sister and the family he’d never known.
It seemed that tonight was not to be the time for such a thing to come to pass, and she turned to her side, looking toward the open window of their bedroom. Behind her, Nicholas rose from the bed and she heard the rustle of clothing as he moved softly in the darkness.
“Have I chased you from my presence?” she asked quietly. “I’m truly sorry.” Sitting up, she swung her feet from the bed and tossed back the sheet. “I’ll leave you to your solitude.”
Her robe lay over a nearby chair and she slid into it quickly, then turned toward the bedroom door. Nicholas stood in front of it, a worthy opponent should she attempt to make her escape past his muscular form.
“You’re not going anywhere,” he said, his voice rough with emotion. “I chose not to get into a fuss with you tonight. There was no need for you to get out of bed. You need your rest after working hard all day.”
“And you don’t?” she asked sharply. “It seems to me I saw you using a scythe to cut hay this afternoon in the hayfield. For about six hours, if I’m not mistaken. Doesn’t that qualify as hard work?”
He shrugged, his shoulders pale in the faint light of stars and moon that shone through the windows. “I’m more than capable of physical labor. You’re a lady, and I’ve expected you to do more than should be required of a woman during the past weeks.”
“Not any more than Katie does back in Collins Creek,” she answered. “I’m a woman, Nicholas. A lady, to my mind, is designated as someone who pours tea for the garden club and arranges flowers for her parlor. I do neither, unless you want to count the Queen Anne’s lace and dandelions I stuck in a water glass yesterday.”
“I’m not certain why we’re arguing, Lin. This is what I was trying to avoid by retreating a moment ago.”
“Then I’d suggest you get back in bed and get a good night’s sleep,” she retorted. “Either that, or expect some company in your night walk.”
“My night walk?”
“The little stroll you’ve taken a couple of times when you thought I was asleep and you seemed to need time alone.” She folded her arms around her waist, feeling chilled suddenly by the air of unpleasantness that filled the room. Somehow she’d managed to open a can of worms with her query concerning his father, and now she must deal with the results.
“I have a lot on my mind,” he said stubbornly. “I find it difficult to sleep once in a while.”
“And that can’t ever be attributed to the fact that you’ve taken on the upbringing of your sister’s child? Plus the care and tending of a woman you had no knowledge of before I turned up in your office? Not to mention the fact that we’ve brought to the light of day the reminder of a family you’ve spent years putting behind you.
“I’d think there was a lot in your past that needs to be brought out into the open,” she said bluntly. “Then, perhaps you can find a measure of serenity that will allow you to sleep through the night. Every night.”
He tilted his head a bit, as if he were taken aback by her words. “I beg your pardon if I’ve disturbed your sleep with my—” He halted abruptly, and then, with a measure of anger she flinched from, he spoke again, the words low, but forceful.
“I didn’t balk at taking on the responsibility of raising Amanda. And I asked you, without coercion, to marry me. As to my past, you’ve told me everything I needed to know about Amanda’s mother, I think.”
“And you’re not interested in knowing anything about your father?” she asked pointedly. “You don’t even want to know who he was?”
His shrug was off-putting, as he’d no doubt meant it to be. “I know he was a womanizer, a man who took advantage of my mother and left her with a child she didn’t want. I’m aware he never acknowledged my existence, and for all I know he’s dead and buried. There’s no reason to talk about him.”
Lin took a different tack, her voice softening as she spoke words she knew to be the truth. “Irene would have loved you, Nicholas. She wanted so badly to own you as her brother. She admired you from afar, you know.”
“So you’ve said.” His words were clipped, his manner flippant. “I managed to live my life adequately without associating with my relatives for a number of years, Lin. I see no point in dragging all this up tonight.”
“Perhaps you’re right.” She felt the starch trickle from her spine, recognized the moment her shoulders slumped in defeat. And rued the first wor
ds she’d spoken in this verbal sparring between them.
Turning toward the window, she stepped to stand beside the open pane, drawing back the lace curtain to look out upon the orchard where fruit trees stood in neat rows.
There would be fruit borne on those trees in a few months’ time, fruit she would never see. And the time they spent here would be gone, like leaves torn from a calendar, tossed aside and forgotten. A sadness, pervasive and intense, filled her heart, and she fought the tears its presence brought about. Crying would not solve the problems she and Nicholas shared.
For though they were compatible in many ways, she could never hope to know the man beneath the facade he presented, unless he chose to allow it. A gentleman with his emotions neatly in place, he’d won her heart, but refused to allow her access to his.
“Do you think you’ll ever come to love me?” she asked, and heard his indrawn breath from directly behind her back. He’d managed to approach her in silence, or she had been too intent on her train of thought to note his approach. Either way, he was a presence to be dealt with.
“Where did that come from?” he asked quietly. “Do you doubt my feelings for you, Lin? Haven’t I made it clear that I care about you? That you and Amanda are the most important people in my life?”
“There’s a wide gap between caring about a woman and pledging your love,” she said simply. And then she relented, her sigh repentant.
“I’m sorry, Nicholas. I have no right to ask such a question.” Her head bent as hot tears fell, escaping from closed eyelids to trail down her cheek and soak into the fabric of her dressing gown.
“You have the right to ask me anything you please,” he said. “Just don’t be angry if I can’t give you the answers you’d like.” It seemed his ire had vanished, replaced by a need for reconciliation.
“I wonder if I really know you,” she said in a whisper, fearing to speak aloud, lest her voice quiver.
“Oh, I think you know me quite well,” he said, his hands lifting to grip her shoulders, turning her to face him. “Probably better than any other person I’ve met up with in my life.” He bent to kiss her, muttering as his mouth came in contact with her tears. “Have I made you cry?”
“No. My weakness has given me leave to shed tears,” she said. “I’m not strong when it comes to you. I’ve managed to face the world as a woman alone. I’ve taken my place as hired help in a household, then traveled halfway across the country on public transport. All that in order to face up to a man who was set on turning aside a child who I felt was his responsibility.
“All of that,” she said quietly and without rancor, “was a cakewalk compared to what you did to me.”
“What I did?” he asked.
She nodded, lifting her gaze to meet his. “I was doing just fine…until you made me love you.”
His voice softened as he formed a reply. “You have no idea how it makes me feel to know that you have that depth of emotion where I’m concerned. I’ve never been told in my entire life that another person loves me.”
“Perhaps because you’ve never allowed anyone the opportunity. I’d say it’s about time you learned how to return it, to some degree, Nicholas. Your niece absolute adores you. Katie thinks you’re the best man walking, and your wife—” She broke off suddenly, unable to speak.
“My wife?” he prompted, his mouth touching hers briefly. “Don’t stop now, Lin. Is my wife having second thoughts about me?”
“You know better than that,” she said, her words broken. “I can’t help loving you. I owe you my life, Nicholas. You’ve given me all a woman could ask for in a marriage.”
He laughed, a dry, harsh sound that expressed no joy. “Sure, I have. We’re on the run. You’ve been battered by criminals, bruised by my own hands, and now you’re working from dawn till dark, trying to make a home in a ramshackle farmhouse, with broken-down furniture and a total lack of the necessities of life.”
“I think we differ on that,” she said quietly. “I have all I need.”
“How about what you want, Lin? Needs are easily met. What you want is my undying expression of love, and I don’t seem to be able to put my feelings into words that will please you, do I?”
“I won’t ask you to speak words that aren’t heartfelt.”
“I’m honored to be Amanda’s uncle. I delight in the child. She makes my heart swell with some emotion I can’t describe when she wraps her arms around my neck and tells me she loves me. Is that heartfelt enough for you?”
“You truly don’t recognize that as love?” Lin asked.
“I don’t know. I admire Katie. She’s loyal and honest and fills a need in my life that no one else ever has. She’s like a favorite aunt I never had—she’s my family, I suppose you could say.” He paused to press his mouth against her lips again, seeking her response, a response she turned from, her head moving sharply to one side, knowing he thought to placate her with kisses.
He shook her, just hard enough to gain her attention, and his voice darkened with emotion. “You’ll make me say it, won’t you?”
“Not unless you feel it, and know it to be the truth.” She held her breath as he looked down at her, his eyes narrowing, as if he hid from her behind the lashes.
“And then there’s you, Lin. My wife. Just those two words make my chest tight with a feeling I’ve never known for another woman.
“Do I love you? If I knew for certain what that phrase means, I’d say it aloud. I’d shout it from the rooftop.
“If it means I’d lay down my life for you, that I want to live with you the rest of my days, then, yes….” His pause was long, but the words that left his lips sounded raw and rasping as they were spoken aloud in the silence of the dark room.
“…I love you.”
She closed her eyes. “Please. Please, say it again, Nicholas. I want to hear you speak the words again.”
His voice was softer now, the phrase lingering beside her ear as he spoke it with an intensity she could not miss. “I love you, Lin. So far as I know the meaning of those words, they express my feelings for you. It’s not a fairy-tale thing we’re talking about here. This is real life. This is a man pledging his future into your hands. I’m being as honest as I know how to be, sweetheart.”
“Do you know,” she asked quietly, lifting her face to his, “do you know, you’ve said more to me in these few minutes than you have in the past weeks?”
“It seems you’ve opened the floodgates, love,” he said quietly. “I can’t lose you, Lin. I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you with me.” He kissed her with a solemnity she cherished, and then his words warmed her as he broke the silence of years, requesting her knowledge of his past.
“What do you know about my father?”
“His name, his reputation, his background and a way in which he can help us.”
“Tell me.”
“I’ve sent off a wire,” Nicholas said, swinging his leg over the saddle, and turning to face Lin. “It was probably the most difficult thing I’ve ever done.”
“Asking for help?”
He shook his head. “No, not the act of being a supplicant, but by asking the one person I never thought to approach for help.”
“I didn’t mean for you to be embarrassed by this,” Lin said quietly. “I just didn’t know any other way to solve the problem. And he may be willing to acknowledge that he owes you a debt. One you’ve never laid claim to.”
“We’ll soon find out,” Nicholas told her, leading his horse toward the barn. The animal followed, tossing her head, white flecks of foam flying through the air, a testament to the speed at which she’d been ridden. “My mare needs a good rubdown. And then I’ll be in for dinner.”
Lin watched him go, biting at her lip, her thoughts in turmoil. At her suggestion, Nicholas had done this thing, had wired to ask for his father’s help. And if it came to pass that the gentleman in question did not give it, without strings attached, the fragile relationship so newly formed—her marriage, for
that matter—might be damaged by her interference.
And yet, it had seemed right to her. And still did. She sighed, turning back to the house, and climbing the porch steps wearily. It had truly seemed the right thing to do. And so she must dwell on that belief.
New York City
“I’m claiming the child as my own,” Vincent said gravely, facing the man who watched him intently. “She should have been mine from the beginning, but I refused to be involved in the sordid mess, once her mother walked away from me. That was my first mistake.” He managed a look of regret as he continued.
“The girl was born a Carmichael, only because my business partner took pity on the mother and married her.” His hands clenched into fists, hidden beneath the surface of the desk.
Dignified and obviously unimpressed by Vincent’s words, his visitor shrugged. “And now you’ve changed your mind about the girl? Does her inheritance come into the picture?”
The judge pulled no punches, Victor thought, anger rising as he remembered his henchman’s assurance.
Are you sure you have the judge in your pocket?
Try me….
The words rang in his head, and he swallowed his rage. Perhaps his feelers might yet locate Garvey and solve this problem without going to court.
“I don’t care about the money.” Vincent waved out the window where the city of New York lay at his feet. “I have all I need, except for someone to inherit my wealth when I’m gone.”
“Why not marry?” his visitor asked mildly, steepling his fingers beneath his chin, elbows resting on the arms of the chair he occupied. “Surely there must be an eligible woman handy to provide you with a legitimate heir? A son, perhaps?”
Vincent shook his head. “I’m not interested in marriage. I like my life the way it is.” That his life included a mistress who made no demands on his time was a point in her favor, he’d long since decided.
The judge sounded noncommittal, Vincent thought, listening to the query the man offered. “And you want to include a small child in your household?”
Tempting a Texan Page 21
