by Jax Burrows
Wasn’t this what she’d always wanted ever since Jade was born? That one day she could have two loving parents to care for her? Yes… but… when she had accepted that she had done her best to find Casey and it was a completely futile exercise, she also realised that she could provide her daughter with everything the child needed. Lots of single parents do a brilliant job of raising their children alone, giving them all the love and care they needed to thrive. Then, after a while, she realized that she liked being on her own. She loved the freedom to go where she liked, choose the best that life had to offer for herself and her daughter. Money was limited but it always had been, and they had Jess and Craig, so were never lonely.
But now, the wonderful, accomplished, Dr Casey O’Connor was sweeping the daughter off her feet in the same way he had swept the mother. And she could only look on from the sidelines with a slight feeling of envy. Was that it? Was she jealous of Casey? What about when the novelty wore off and Jade had tantrums and was demanding and fractious and Casey had just spent a long, tiring shift in A&E? Would he still be able to keep his cool and be Jade’s knight in shining armour? That remained to be seen.
Lexi sat on a bench with Jade on her knee to wait for the men. She tried to ignore everything she hated about swimming pools; the smell of the chlorine, and the way every sound echoed and the wet floor that could be so dangerous and slippery underfoot.
There was a female lifeguard on duty who was keeping her eye on the kids who splashed and shrieked in the water. But Lexi wasn’t reassured, and she hugged Jade to her tightly.
Jess came and sat next to her, wearing a fetching navy one-piece bathing suit that showed off her slim figure. ‘Aren’t you going in?’ she asked.
‘No. I think I’ll just sit and watch this time. I’ve got a cold coming on.’ She didn’t look at her friend who could always tell when she was lying.
‘A cold? You haven’t mentioned it before.’
‘I just felt it this morning. A bit of a sore throat.’
‘That’s a shame. Thanks for this, by the way. It was kind of Casey to let me and Craig join in a family event.’
‘Well, you are family – you’re my family. The only one I’ve ever had.’
‘Aww, thanks.’ Jess sounded so grateful that Lexi felt her throat constrict. Luckily, at that moment, the men returned and Jess wolf-whistled cheekily at the sight of Riordan and Casey in their swimming costumes. Fortunately, they both wore respectable board shorts and had towels slung over their shoulders. Even so, they were attracting admiring glances from some of the women.
Casey came over and stood in front of Lexi. ‘I thought you would be changed by now.’
‘I’m not swimming today.’
‘Why?’ His voice was sharp, and Lexi knew that she wouldn’t get away with lying to him. ‘I thought you were going to help me look after the kids.’
‘I can’t. I’d be no good in an emergency. You’ll have to look after Jade yourself. But take care of her. Please.’ She hugged her daughter to her until Jade squirmed to be let go.
Casey sat on the bench next to her. Jess had walked away and was talking to Craig and Tom.
‘Okay, what’s going on?’
‘Nothing’s going on, Casey, I just don’t feel like swimming that’s all.’
‘Oh.’ Casey looked embarrassed suddenly as if something had just occurred to him. ‘Is it because you’ve got… you know what?’
He thinks she’s got her period. Why didn’t she think of that? But he was looking so sheepish that she had to tell him the truth.
‘No, it’s not that. If you really must know, I’m terrified of the water. I hate it.’
‘Really? Why didn’t you say?’ He sounded incredulous. A champion swimmer would never understand anyone hating the water.
‘I didn’t want to ruin it for everyone else.’ Jade was talking to the boys and looking over at them. Lexi was aware that their conversation was holding everyone up.
‘But you can swim, can’t you? You said you didn’t need lessons.’
‘No, I can’t swim, and I don’t need lessons as I have no intention of trying.’
Casey put his head in his hands and groaned. ‘I wish you’d told me all this before. You need to start confiding in me, Lexi, and you need to stop living your life on the side lines. Take part, get involved, start taking risks, – life’s for living.’
With that he stood up and dived into the pool. Riordan dived straight after him and Tom laughed joyfully. ‘They’re having a race! Come on Dad!’ he shouted.
‘Come on, Casey!’ shouted Jess and Craig.
‘Daddy! Go faster!’ Jade shouted, jumping up and down. Jess had one hand on her shoulder, but Lexi’s heart was still in her mouth at the sight of the daughter so close to the edge of the pool.
Was she the only one who wasn’t enjoying herself? Casey’s criticism had stung. He sounded disappointed in her and had every right to be. She wasn’t the confident woman he had first met. That woman would be in the thick of it, having fun and taking risks. She hated that she lived her life in fear, but her experience was that there was a lot in this world to be fearful of. Especially as a mother.
Casey had been surrounded by loving family all his life. People who would have comforted him when he had been hurt or scared. He would have been able to test his strengths and abilities and push himself to the limit, secure in the knowledge that there would always be someone there to pick up the pieces if it all went wrong.
Lexi had never had any of that. Her childhood had been spent in loneliness and fear. The bravest thing she had ever done was to pretend she was someone else, the night she had met the sexiest man in the universe. And given herself unconditionally to that man. The man who was now powering up and down the pool, his limbs strong and sure and the water glistening on his golden skin. The water was his element; he looked completely at home in it.
Casey won by a wide margin and both men were laughing as they pulled themselves out of the pool next to where the children were screaming and jumping up and down with excitement.
‘Not bad for an old man,’ Casey said as he clapped his brother on the shoulder.
‘You had a head start, otherwise you wouldn’t have beaten me,’ Riordan said laughingly.
‘In your dreams.’
Jade lifted her arms up to Casey to be picked up and he scooped her up in his arms and kissed her. ‘Your turn now, Princess.’
Lexi’s stomach lurched at his words and a little voice in her head repeated, “please keep her safe, please keep her safe.”
He dressed her in a pink float vest and armbands and instructed Craig and Jess to put on armbands as well. They hurried to do as Casey bid them and Lexi wondered if Jess was exhibiting more bravado than she was feeling. But then her motto was “fake it ‘til you make it” – she wasn’t letting Casey know how nervous she was. Lexi admired her friend and wished she had her courage. They had both endured the same upbringing, but Jess faced new challenges head-on, whilst she shrunk back into the shadows, hoping nobody noticed her.
She watched enviously as Casey demonstrated how to hold the float in front of them and kick. He held Jade tightly, but Lexi still cringed every time someone splashed her, or she drifted too far away from the side. Jade, however, seemed totally unconcerned. She was hell-bent on showing her new Daddy how good she was at kicking.
At one point, she turned and shouted, ‘Watch me, Mummy!’ Casey looked her way too and gave her the thumbs up sign. She smiled, her emotions a jumble of pride in her daughter and admiration and desire for the sexy man who stood in the shallow end of the pool, water sparkling in his hair and his delicious muscles rippling as he carefully held on to his daughter.
Jess and Craig were clutching their floats and kicking for all they were worth. Tom was attempting to swim a length with Riordan by his side in case he flagged and needed help.
And what was she doing whilst the rest of them were having fun? Sitting on the side of the pool watching, too frighte
ned to take part. She despised herself in that moment. What kind of example was she setting her daughter? She wished she’d brought a new costume as Jess had done, and at least showed that she was willing to try. But it was too late now. That chance had gone.
After about half an hour, Casey lifted Jade out of the water. ‘Okay, sweetheart, that’s enough for your first lesson. We’ll have lunch and see about that face painting, shall we?’
Casey hauled himself out of the pool and stood, dripping water down his masculine body, while Jade turned and watched Craig and Tom who were jumping into the shallow end together.
‘I wanna go back in,’ Jade wailed.
‘Not today, sweetheart – go to Mummy for a shower.’
‘No.’ Jade said and walked to the side of the pool as if she was about to launch herself after the boys.
Lexi was up in a flash and went to grab Jade, but Casey was there first and held his daughter easily under one arm. Lexi was too near the edge and felt herself slipping forward. She cried out and a large, strong, masculine arm encircled her waist and pulled her backwards away from the water.
‘What the hell do you think you’re doing? You nearly fell in.’ Casey’s tone was stern, but she detected a note of anxiety in his voice. All she could think of, however, was the feel of his body, wet and warm, pressed up against hers. He smelt of chlorine and the unique scent of hot male. His arm held her fast against him and he put his wet face next to hers and whispered, ‘Don’t scare me like that, okay?’
Riordan’s voice interrupted her lustful thoughts. ‘Having trouble keeping your women in check, Bro?’ He was chuckling, and Lexi turned and glared at him.
‘It’s not funny; Jade nearly fell in.’
‘Sorry,’ said Riordan, looking totally unrepentant.
‘Okay, guys. I think it’s time we all had a shower, get changed and then have lunch.’
The boys cheered, and everyone ran to do his bidding. Dr Casey O’Connor was back in charge.
Chapter Twelve
The café in the leisure centre was full and noisy, but they managed to find a table to seat all of them, after borrowing a few of the cheap red plastic chairs from other tables. There were posters on the walls of people doing sporty things next to the menu which was basic but had meal deals for the kids and enough choice for everyone to order something they liked.
Craig and Tom sat together, chatting about what character they were going to be when they had their faces painted.
‘I want to be Spiderman,’ Craig said.
‘I’m going to be the Hulk,’ said Tom.
Riordan sat next to Tom and Jess sat next to Craig which left himself, Lexi and Jade sitting together. Lexi still had a face like thunder and Casey felt a flash of irritation. What was wrong with her? He had done his best to make this day special and everyone else seemed to be having a great time. Craig had made a new friend in Tom, Jess was eager to start their swimming lessons and Jade had taken to the water like a little mermaid. All Lexi’s fears had proved to be unfounded. Everyone was safe and happy.
All except the lady herself, who seemed to become more withdrawn as the day progressed.
What else could he do? It was almost as if Lexi resented his efforts and was trying to sabotage his attempts to be a good father to Jade. Well, it wouldn’t work. Being a father to that little girl was the most important role he had ever undertaken, and he was determined to succeed. He wasn’t a quitter. Unlike Lexi who didn’t seem to want to try anything new, never mind see it through to the end.
He remembered how she’d felt in his arms when she’d nearly flung herself into the water after Jade. She had trembled all over as he held her, and he had ached to kiss her. There was such a strong attraction between them, which grew stronger each time they were close.
After they’d ordered their meal – chicken nuggets and French Fries for the kids and pizza for the adults – Riordan smiled at Lexi. ‘Sorry about earlier. I hope I didn’t upset you with my thoughtless comment.’
Casey said nothing, interested to hear how Lexi would respond.
‘No, I’m sorry; I was just scared for Jade that’s all.’
‘I’d like to bet she’ll be swimming in no time. She seems fearless in the water.’
‘That’s what I’m afraid of.’
He couldn’t help himself. ‘But why, Lexi? Kids need to be allowed to explore their world and make their own mistakes. That’s how they learn.’
‘You wouldn’t understand.’ Lexi glared even harder at him and he kept quiet to allow his peace-keeping brother to pour oil on troubled waters.
‘I want to make it up to you,’ Riordan said, ‘so please, all of you, come to Sunday lunch tomorrow. Our parents are dying to meet Jade and I think we’re having lamb.’
Casey wanted to applaud his brother. If he’d suggested it, no doubt Lexi would have thought up an excuse as to why they couldn’t go. But the lamb looked as if it was the deciding factor.
‘I love lamb,’ Craig said.
‘Is Craig invited?’ Tom asked.
‘Of course, Jess too,’ Riordan replied.
‘Oh, that’s really kind of you, so long as you’re sure.’ Jess’s eyes were shining, and Casey smiled at her.
‘Will Tom be there?’ Jade asked and they all laughed.
‘Of course, honey; he lives there,’ Riordan said. Tom blushed and munched on his chicken nuggets.
‘Okay, then, I’ll go,’ Jade announced grandly as if she was bestowing a favour on the group. His daughter was enchanting, and he couldn’t wait for his parents to meet her.
He wondered why Lexi was throwing daggers at him and then he remembered his promise to run suggestions by her first before making plans for Jade. He grinned mischievously and pointed at Riordan from behind his hand while mouthing, “It wasn’t me, it was him”. It reminded him of the many times when they had been boys, they had blamed each other for their misdemeanours in the way of siblings who loved each other despite their competitiveness.
It made him feel warm inside to think of his family and the love they all shared. He couldn’t wait to add Lexi and Jade to their number.
But Lexi had folded her arms and turned her head away.
Chapter Thirteen
Lexi opened her eyes and groaned. The day had finally arrived. Her worst nightmare. The day she stood in front of Casey’s parents and tried to justify herself. To explain why they had a gorgeous little granddaughter that they’d known nothing about, and she had caused them to miss out on the first three years of her life. The years that most grandparents treasure; the baby and toddler years.
They were going to hate her, she just knew it.
At least the worst part would soon be over. Once it was, things could only get better, couldn’t they? They could only stay mad at her for so long. And maybe, with Jess and Craig there, they’d take pity on her and not humiliate her in front of everyone.
With a heavy heart, she showered, then considered what she should wear. Should she try to look smart? Do the O’Connors make a big deal of Sunday lunch? It had seemed that way when Riordan had invited them; as if Sunday lunches were a special family occasion. She hoped it wasn’t too formal an occasion as she wasn’t confident in that type of setting.
It had been nice of Riordan to include Jess and Craig. He came across as a caring man. As Casey did. Would their parents be the same, or would they bombard her with questions and accusations the minute she walked through the door? Or, worse still, would they ignore her completely and lavish all their attention on Jade?
She went downstairs to find Jess and the children having breakfast.
‘Hi. Want some juice?’ Jess looked at her in sympathy. She knew exactly what this day meant to her.
‘Thanks. I don’t feel like eating a thing but probably should try some toast. Can’t imagine I’ll eat much at the O’Connors. I feel like I’m going to my execution.’
‘I don’t think you have anything to worry about,’ Jess said scooping up a forkful o
f scrambled egg. ‘Casey and Riordan are such lovely men. I can’t believe their parents are ogres.’
‘Not ogres, no. Just grandparents and I’ve stolen their memories of Jade’s early years. That’s something I’ll never be able to make up for, no matter how hard I try.’
By the time Casey arrived to collect them all, Lexi’s stomach was tying itself in knots.
Jade had insisted on wearing her party dress. It was really an ordinary dress, as Lexi hadn’t been able to afford a proper one, but she had added wings in sparkly gold fabric, sequins, ruffles and lace at the skirt. She had also made her a wand. The garment was more suitable for fancy dress than Sunday lunch with the relatives, but Lexi wanted to avoid any tantrums and had given in to Jade’s demands. By the way her nerves were stretching and her anxiety levels rising, she may be the one throwing the tantrum and not her daughter, before the day was out.
‘Wow! Look at you.’ said Casey when he saw Jade. He was obviously going to play the role of indulgent father today. Then Lexi could take a backseat and let father and daughter take centre stage.
Soon, they were all safely in the car and on their way.
The O’Connors lived in the oldest, most affluent area of Leytonsfield. Grand old detached houses on wide tree-lined streets, the oaks and sycamores providing shade and a sense of history, the properties had extensive gardens with high hedges and modern conservatories.
Lexi was in awe as they parked outside one of the homes. She hoped Jade would behave well. She really had no idea what to expect, so was amazed and pleased, when there was no one waiting outside to greet them. For some reason, she had expected a welcome committee.
Casey led them around to the side of the house. A boy’s bike lay abandoned outside the back door and there was a free-standing basketball hoop on the lawn.
They trooped through to the kitchen, Casey calling out, ‘We’re here!’ as they went through. Jade was holding Casey’s hand tightly and Lexi kept as close to Jess as possible.
