Her hands covered her mouth as if she was trying not to cry. She wasn’t mad. Good.
I started the song and sang the words, “My heart beats for you, my breath breathes for you…”
She was crying and my heart beat faster that she was finally hearing me. Each word I sang, I sang to her. Sinclair nudged her out on the stage. She seemed reluctant, and knowing she didn’t like being in public, I didn’t urge her to come to me. Instead, I broke the rule of performing and sang only to her.
As I went the last time through the chorus, I looked into her eyes as I sang, “Trina, my heart beats for you, my breath breathes for you, my life I give to you.”
As the words stopped and just the last part of the music played, I walked over to her. I pushed my guitar around to my back and slipped my arm around her, tugging her close.
“Does this mean you’re giving me a second chance?” I asked.
“No.”
My heart stopped in my chest. How had I misread all this? Stunned, I started to withdraw my arm, but she gripped my shirt.
“I’m hoping it means you’re giving me a second chance.”
Joy blossomed throughout my chest. I pulled her to me and kissed her, firm and sure. Around us the crowd erupted, but for me, the world had gotten very small. It was just me and Trina, and the life we’d made growing inside her.
When I pulled back, I looked into her lovely gray eyes and saw what I’d been looking for from her for so long; love. She hadn’t said it, but I was sure I saw it.
The band finished the song, and exited the stage, with my bassist saying goodbye as I was preoccupied.
“I need to pack up, but then I’m all yours,” I said, giving a slight tug on a curl of her hair.
“Yes, of course.”
“I’ll need to take my stuff home…will you come with me? I have some things I never got to show you.”
She nodded and smiled. “Yes.”
Unable to help myself, I gave her another quick kiss and then headed off the stage to pack up the band.
Twenty minutes later, I helped Trina into my truck and with her by my side, I drove to my house.
“I’m thinking of getting a new truck,” I said to her, all of a sudden feeling a little awkward.
“Oh? Why?”
“It’s not great for a baby. I was thinking of an extended cab. I don’t think I can do a minivan.” I shivered at the thought.
“Me neither,” she said.
I took her hand in mine and kissed the back of it. “Thank you for coming with me.”
“Thank you for inviting me.”
“Will I need to get you back to get your car?” I asked.
She shook her head. “Sinclair drove me. She said you’d forgive me.”
I glanced at her. “You didn’t think I would?”
“I hoped you would, but I was horrendous. I’m not sure I forgive myself.”
“Right now, I have what I want. Why would I push that away?”
She shrugged and I knew at some point we’d need to talk and hash out everything. It was important to do because while I was glad that she was here beside me, I didn’t want to repeat the issues of the past.
I pulled into the driveway of my house.
Her eyes widened and a smile lit her face. “Oh Ryder, look at the porch. It’s so clean and pretty. The flower boxes are lovely.”
I smiled, happy that she noticed. “That’s just the start. The porch has been reinforced, so you don’t need to worry about falling through.”
I helped her out of the truck and up the steps to the front door. I unlocked it and pushed it open for her. She stepped in and her mouth widened into a smile as she took in the living area. I still had most of the old tired furniture, but it was clean and tidy.
She stepped to the fireplace mantel to look at pictures. “Goodness, this is you and me and Alyssa when she was a baby.”
I stood, watching her take it all in, hoping she’d feel at home here. “Sinclair put those there. She and Wyatt helped me.”
“It’s lovely, Ryder.” She turned to me, her expression a bit chagrined.
“There’s more,” I said holding out my hand. She took it and I led her to the kitchen. “This didn’t need much work, but I did get a new coffee maker.”
“Is the coffee good?”
“You’ll have to tell me,” I said hoping I could convince her to stay the night. All the nights. “And look at this.” I opened a cabinet and took down a couple of plates.
“They match,” she said looking down. “God, I really am a bitch, aren’t I?”
“There’s nothing wrong with wanting matching plates.” I gave her a quick kiss and then led her back up the hall. “I hope you like this.” I pushed open the door to the room that had been hers during the fake marriage but was now set up as a nursery.
She gasped as the pretty yellow room came into view. She walked in. “It’s for the baby.” Her hand ran along the crib rail.
“That was Alyssa’s crib. I’ve checked and there’s been no recall. All the parts are safe.”
She turned to me. Tears fell on her cheeks.
“Oh, baby. You okay?” I asked going to her and wiping her tears with my thumbs.
“Yes. No…I don’t know.”
I wasn’t sure what to make of that. I pulled her to me. “What’s going on?”
“I’m so happy.” She wrapped her arms around my waist and rested her head on my chest. “But I don’t deserve this.”
“Yes, you do, and even if you didn’t, I want to give it to you.”
She tilted her head back. “I’m scared, Ryder.”
I studied her, not sure what she was saying. “Of me?”
“Of love. Of messing this up. Of you leaving.”
“I’m not leaving.”
She didn’t say it, but I could see in her eyes that she was saying, “You did before.”
I dropped my head to her forehead. “I love you, Trina. This is what I wanted from the moment I volunteered to be your fake husband. Before even. The other night at your place…I was hurt and angry—”
“For good reason. I don’t want to mess this up and, well, you know me. Chances are high that I’ll screw up.”
I smiled. “I do know you. And you know I can put up with a lot. I won’t be a doormat, but I understand you. And I hope that if you let me love you, you’ll learn to believe in it. I’m not your parents. You can trust me, Trina.”
She sniffed. “Sometimes you look like you’re weighing what to say to me in case I might go off. Don’t do that anymore. I need to learn to take it. I’ve been talking to a counselor.”
“Really?” That surprised me. Trina wasn’t one to show her innermost feeling. “And what have you gleaned?”
“She hasn’t really revealed anything new. I knew my parents fucked up giving me trust issues, but she has given me some tools to help me cope. I may need help with it though.”
“I’ll help you. Whatever you want or need, I want to give to you.” I kissed her forehead. “I’m glad to hear about the counseling. I want you to be happy.”
“I am.”
“There’s more to see, if you want.”
“More?”
I took her hand and led her out of the nursery and to my bedroom. A new headboard and bedding highlighted the bed in the room.
“My mom insisted women liked matching sheets along with matching plates. And lots of throw pillows,” I said with a nod toward the pile of pillows. “I don’t know. You didn’t strike me as a throw pillow person, but—”
“It’s lovely. You did a lot of work.”
I took a breath as I turned her to me. “For you, Trina. It may be too much too soon. You’ll tell me if it is, but I want you to be comfortable here. I want this to be your home too. You, me and baby.”
Her hand caressed my cheek. “I don’t get why such a sweet man wants me.”
I smiled. “Because I love you.”
She still hadn’t said to me, but I understood
it was something she might need to work up to. Right now, it was enough that she was here.
“Why?”
I laughed. “Because of your smart mouth.”
She looked down embarrassed.
“You’re a smart woman. Fiercely loyal. Organized and clearly, I could use help there. Beautiful. You challenge me. I see you, Trina. Even as you try to hide sometimes.” I drew her to the bed and had her sit. Then I went to the vase on my dresser and pulled out a flower. “Do you remember when we were ten or so, and you stayed with us for a little bit.”
She nodded. “My mom had run off and my dad disappeared for a few days.”
“Do you remember flowers showing up? On your bike? In your backpack?”
She looked at me, cocking her head. “Yes. Sinclair said I had a secret admirer. I figured it was her trying to make me feel better.”
I held out the flower. “It was me trying to make you feel better.”
Her breath hitched. “Ryder. I never knew.”
I sat next to her. “You looked so lost. I could remember thinking it looked like a part of you had died. The sparkle in your eyes had gone. You never smiled or laughed. But when you’d find a flower, your lips would lift. Just a little, but enough that I felt like it made you happy.”
“You were a romantic even then.” She rested her head on my shoulder as she brought the flower to her nose and inhaled.
“All I’ve wanted to do since then is make you happy.”
She turned her head. “You do.” Her lips pressed against mine. At first her kiss was soft and sweet, but within seconds she turned up the heat and my dick shot to full tilt. “Will you touch me, Ryder?”
“Whatever you want. If you’re sure.” This time I wanted to take whatever time she’d need to adjust to the idea of staying with me.
“I am. I love it when you touch me. I feel free. Like the real me when I’m with you.”
Good. Then I was doing my job. We were a bit frantic as we undressed, but because I wanted this to last a long time, I slowed things down as I lay her back on the new bedding. I lay my body over hers, pressing her into the mattress. I wanted her to feel me with her. To trust that I’d be here.
She pushed at me, rolling us until I was on my back and she was over me. “I want to run the show this time.” She had a sexy smile on her face.
“Oh? What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to try and drive you mad, and not with my smart mouth.”
“I like your mouth.” The image of her mouth sucking me off made my dick jump.
“I meant my smart aleck mouth. This time I’m going to love your body until you’re begging me.”
“I’m about to start begging already,” I said rubbing my hands along her curvaceous hips.
She pressed her hands over my chest and rubbed her pussy lips along my dick, making me hiss.
“Ryder?”
“Yeah, baby,” I said, my hips lifting instinctively with a need to be inside her.
“I love you.”
My gaze jerked to her eyes.
“I never told anyone that.”
I levered up, wrapping my arms around her. “I can’t tell you what it does to me to hear you say that because I love you too, baby.”
“It still terrifies me.”
I nodded. “Me too. I know that this is a big step for you. I really do, baby. I promise to care for your heart. I ask that you do the same with mine.”
She leaned forward and kissed my chest. “I’ll fuck up, I’m sure.”
“So, will I. But if we can remember this moment, we’ll get through it.”
She lifted her hips up, settling her pussy over my dick. “Make love to me.”
She sank over me and my world finally settled into perfection. This. Her. It was all I’d ever wanted or needed. I held her to me, feeling her body around mine. Finally, I was home.
30
Trina
I didn’t deserve him. I especially didn’t deserve how easy getting him back in my life had gone. He didn’t push me away reminding me how badly I hurt him. He didn’t make me jump through hoops to prove my love or make up to him. He simply accepted me, like he always had. In fact, learning he was the one that gave me the flowers after my mom had left proved he’d been there for me even as a child. How had I missed that? Because I was too busy trying to protect myself from the hurts of the world.
I wanted him to know how much he meant to me. How much his forgiveness and belief in me built me up and made me stronger.
I sank over him, feeling his dick fill me, and with it, heal my heart. I’d broken when he walked away, but now, here like this, I was complete. Finally whole.
“You’re mine,” he murmured against my lips as he kissed me softly with so much love.
“You’re mine,” I repeated to him.
“Fully, totally, completely,” he said.
Our gazes held as I began to rock over him. Our movements were slow, sensual. The heat building degree by degree. It was like a dance that slowly would build to a crescendo. Our bodies, our gazes, our hearts were one, moving in sync.
“Ryder,” I gasped as pleasure hitched up to a new level.
He groaned. “You feel so fucking good.” He buried his face between my breasts. His dick was so hard, pulsing inside me.
“Come with me, Ryder. Fill me.” I gripped his shoulders, riding him harder, faster. Now it was all about the pursuit of ultimate bliss, but even in that wild, frenetic quest, we were together.
“Yes, baby, yes…” He growled. “Now…I’m coming…”
I let go, and on the next slide, pleasure flooded to every neuron in my body, filling me with happiness, contentment, and peace that only Ryder could bring to me. He jerked, his essence filling me. We weren’t completely down when he rolled me onto my back and kissed me.
“Stay with me,” he said.
“I’m here.” I wrapped my arms around him, never intending to let him go. He was my tether to the world. My rock. My joy.
He lifted his head. “Always. Stay with me always. Move in here. Bring your matching plates and nicer furniture. Make this house a home with me.”
Tears burst from my eyes again. I couldn’t ever remember feeling such happiness. It still scared me. Intense happiness could drop to ultimate despair, but I trusted Ryder. So I took a breath, shored my courage, and said, “Yes.”
He kissed me and pulled me in for a hug as we rolled again and I could rest my head on his chest.
“Just so you know, if you tell anyone I was blubbering like a baby, I’ll deny it.”
He chuckled. “There’s my girl.” He kissed my head. “I won’t tell. I don’t need people knowing my woman cries when I make love to her.”
I kissed his chest. “I’m just emotional. I’m not used to it.”
“I’m here now, if you ever need to let loose. Emotionally. Not verbally. Although if you need to rant, I can listen.”
“I’ve never had this…felt this before,” I said in a soft voice, afraid to verbalize my feelings and at the same time, wanting him to understand. Knowing that he wouldn’t laugh or make fun of me.
“What’s that?”
“Love.”
“Oh, baby.” He maneuvered me so we were side-by-side, face-to-face. “I should have told you sooner. I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time. It kills me to think you didn’t know you were loved.”
I cast my eyes down, having a hard time with the intensity of the moment. “I don’t feel alone either.”
“That’s because you’re not.” He used the crook of his finger to lift my chin so I would look at him. “And I’m going to do whatever needs to be done to make sure you always feel loved and never alone.” He leaned forward and kissed me.
“I’m still in shock that you want me. I’m not an easy woman to love.”
He shrugged. “It’s not so hard for me. But I see more than you let most people see of you.”
“That’s because I’m naked,” I joked.
<
br /> He laughed. “You’re glorious when you’re naked.” He leaned in and sucked on one of my nipples, immediately sending sweet erotic sensations to my pussy. “But I see you too, Katrina. Your smarts. Your courage. Your ball-busting attitude.”
I rolled my eyes.
“Your heart and loyalty, and how you stand up for those you care for. I loved how you called Earl out tonight.”
“Yeah, well, he was being a jerk. It was time someone put him in his place.”
“My hero,” he said.
We lay quietly for a moment, and I found so much comfort in listening to his heartbeat where my head lay on his chest.
“Ryder?”
“Yes.” His fingers played with the strands of my hair.
“Did you ever imagine you’d be a father?”
“Yes.”
“With me?” I lifted my head to look at him.
“Yes.”
My eyes narrowed as I studied him to see the truth of his words.
“I told you I liked you in high school. Hell, I liked you in fourth grade. If I hadn’t stolen your poem in high school, we could be married with a whole brood of kids by now.”
Married? The panic button went off in my head. I wanted to be with him. I even wanted to be married to him, eventually. But just because I was ready to jump into the unknown with him, that didn’t mean I was ready for deep water.
“Don’t get nervous,” he said. “We’ve got time. As much time as you need.”
“How do you do that?”
“Do what?” he asked, quirking a brow.
“Know what I’m thinking and feeling?”
“I see the nuance in your expressions. There’s the fear face that is about going too far too fast, to which you start to close down a bit. Then there’s the fear that you respond with by lashing out. Sometimes you’re just straight off pissed though.”
Fake Marriage (Contemporary Romance Box Set) Page 40
