The worst part of all this was how alone I felt. I couldn’t talk to my father about all this. I wasn’t sure how he’d feel about Mo and me having a relationship. Maybe Mo was right, and my father wouldn’t like it. He’d probably be angry at Mo’s having had sex with me and then ignoring me. I was certain he’d feel guilty about partaking in this scheme if he knew I was unhappy. So, he was out as someone to confide in. I liked Sinclair, but Mo was adamant that no one in the office could know of our arrangement, so I couldn’t talk to her.
I finished on some research Sinclair assigned to me and gathered the folders I’d used to bring them back for filing. I exited my office to return them to the file cabinets.
“I’m pregnant,” Trina blurted.
I stopped short and stared at her and Sinclair having one of their tête-à-têtes. Knowing Trina wouldn’t want me to know her business, I turned around and left the room. I grabbed my purse and left the office, deciding to take an early lunch.
The day was nice, so I grabbed a sandwich and soda at the local deli and sat on a bench at the park next to City Hall. I decided to call Tucker. I could talk to him. He’d probably laugh at me, but he’d be supportive, too.
“Hey, girl,” he said after a ring.
“You busy?”
“Nah. You okay? You sound off.”
“How much time do you have?” I asked.
“That bad, eh? Well, I’ve got all the time you need. What’s going on?”
“First off, did I tell you that there are a couple teacher openings here in Salvation?” Before I spilled my guts to him, I could at least ask him how he was and see about getting him to Nebraska.
“Yes. I’ve looked at them.”
“I got married,” I blurted out before he could tell me what he thought of the jobs.
“What?”
“I got married. To Mo. The mayor.”
“Mayor McHottie. Goodness. Dreams do come true then.”
I burst out crying.
“Oh shit, Brooke. What happened? Is he hurting you? I’ll come kick his ass right now.” The anger in his voice and willingness to protect me filled part of the hole in my chest.
“Yes, but not how you think. He…he…we had sex, and then he told me it was wrong, and now he’s distant.”
There was a long pause, which I’m sure Tucker was using to try and process what I’d said. “He was the first? Like you wanted?”
“Yes, but then he said all that same stuff as before about him being my dad’s friend—”
“Wait, you said you got married. Surely your father would know married people fuck.”
“It’s a fake marriage. Marriage of convenience. It’s a long story, but it’s not a love match, at least as far as Mo’s concerned.”
There was another pause. “You know, maybe you should start at the beginning because I’m confused.”
I told him about my father’s financial troubles and how Mo offered to help but needed a wife to get his trust money. So, we got married, but no one knew except my father and Mo’s lawyer. I also told him how Trina hated me.
Tucker laughed as I knew he would. “I’m sorry, Brooke. I don’t mean to laugh, but your life sounds like a romance novel.”
“Except those have happy endings.”
“You’re right. Clearly, the mayor is into you but has some hang-ups. Maybe he just needs time.”
“For what?” I didn’t mention that we’d need to be married a year for Mo to get the second half of his trust. Knowing him, he’d forfeit it to get away from me. “We’re even less friendly than we were before.”
“That’s because he wants to fuck you again,” Tucker said with authority.
“You’re crazy.”
“No, I’m not. He’s trying to keep distance between you because he knows he can’t trust himself around you. He can’t trust himself because he wants you. And why wouldn’t he? You’re smart, pretty, and sexy. And he’s had a taste. I’m a guy, Brooke. I know how men work.”
Was he right? I could see what he was saying. It didn’t take away the sting of rejection, but I supposed I’d ignored that he’d betrayed his own conscience twice.
“Maybe he does want me, but he doesn’t want to. He thinks he’s too old and that it would betray my father.”
“And yet, your father supported this crazy idea.”
“Yeah, but he thinks it’s all just a friendly arrangement. He told Mo that he trusted him with his baby.”
“Yikes.”
“Oh, Tucker. I don’t know what to do. I agreed to this arrangement, but it’s harder than I thought to live like this.”
“I’m coming to Salvation,” he said.
“To visit?” It was the best news I could get at that moment.
“Actually, I applied to the teaching job there. I’ve been thinking seriously about moving. Now that I know this little bumfuck town has so much drama and angst, I have to come. It will be like living in a soap opera.”
I laughed, even as I cried.
“Plus, my best buddy needs me.”
“I do need you,” I admitted. “You’re the best, Tucker.”
“But not good enough to win you, sweetheart.”
“You’ll meet someone else better for you. You don’t want this hot mess, anyway.”
He laughed. “I’m there for you, hot mess or not. Perhaps you can scout a place for me to move into.”
“Whatever you need. I’m here for you, too.”
As we hung up, I didn’t feel perfect, but I was happier. I’d been feeling so alone, which was weird, considering I was with family and friends. But because I had secrets to keep, I needed a friend, and Tucker was the best friend a girl could have. I hoped he liked it here in Salvation because I needed him more than ever.
15
Maurice
I supposed it was inevitable that Brooke would start to avoid me. I couldn’t blame her. In fact, a part of me was glad for it. Every time I was near her, I wanted to hold her and make the sadness in her eyes go away. The guilt that I was making her miserable was difficult to bear. But the alternative wasn’t any better. I couldn’t give into my own desire for her. It wouldn’t be fair to her. And, of course, it would betray my friendship with Frank, a man who trusted me to look out for his daughter, not fuck her.
I wished she’d find someone her own age, and yet, this fake marriage prevented her from doing what twenty-two-year-old women should be doing, dating and finding themselves. I should have heeded my concern before I married her, and yet, if we didn’t get married, Frank and Brooke would be forced to move.
So, she avoided me, and I avoided her. Of course, I was avoiding her because I didn’t trust myself around her. Twice now, I’d been unable to stop myself from touching her. So tonight, instead of heading home, I went to Frank’s place. Seeing him would bolster my resolve to not touch his daughter. Plus, I’d agreed to work with him on strategies to manage the ranch along with his money so he could avoid getting in trouble in the future.
We stood at the fence, watching the cattle as it grazed while the sun started setting. It was picture-perfect. Too bad my life was more like a Jackson Pollock painting, splattered and splotched.
“Life is pretty easy for them, don’t you think?” Frank asked, nodding to his cattle.
“Until we turn them to steaks and burgers.”
He laughed. “Yes, I guess that’s right. But while they’re living, they just mosey through life, don’t they? Not a care in the world.”
I shrugged. “I suppose they don’t have the angst and drama.” I wouldn’t mind a little bit of time to simply mosey and graze.
“Remember when we were younger, and we’d hang out, watching the cattle. We had such plans, didn’t we, Mo?”
“We sure did.” Frank was a few years older than me, but we’d been friends since we were boys. He helped me learn to ride and rope. He told me about girls. I’d been there when he met and fell hard for Laura Watson. He’d been there when I’d married Shelley and when she’d left.
Frank sighed. “Dreams, too. Mine came true for a short time.” I knew he was thinking of Laura. It was tragic that he’d lost her. They’d had a beautiful marriage. I’d hoped to have that with Shelley, but what we had wasn’t even close. I certainly didn’t have that with Brooke. Jesus, she deserved so much better than this. Frank and I both were selfish assholes to involve her in this scheme to save his farm.
He laughed. “Remember how we’d planned to marry off our kids and join the ranches into the biggest ranch in Nebraska?”
“I do.”
Shelley and I had no children. It was weird thinking of having a son to marry Brooke. No, not weird. Annoying. I couldn’t have her, but fucking hell, I couldn’t stand the idea of someone else having her. Not even the son I’d never had. Then again, with Frank being older than me, and his marrying and having a child at a younger age, by the time I married Shelley, any children we’d have had would have been younger than Brooke by several years.
“Do you ever regret not having kids with Shelley?” he asked.
I shifted, not sure I wanted to talk about my personal life as marriage was involved. After all, technically, I was married to Brooke, although I knew Frank believed we were in a platonic relationship. Which we were. Now.
“I wanted kids, and she didn’t. In hindsight, it’s probably better that we didn’t. It can’t be easy to have divorced parents.”
“And now, with this arrangement, you’re not in a position to marry and have kids.” He looked at me. “Even more sacrifice you’re making for me.”
I shrugged. “I didn’t have any marriage prospects as it was.”
“I suppose you could date.” He frowned. “I mean, you and Brooke have a secret marriage of convenience. Still, I’m not sure I like the idea of it. It would be like cheating.”
“I’m not dating.” I rested my forearms on the fence. “I’m pretty sure I’ll be a bachelor for the remainder of my days.”
“Now, don’t say that,” Frank said, patting me on the back. “There’s a good woman out there for you. I know it.”
Good woman. Immediately, Brooke’s lovely face flashed in my brain. She was a good woman. She was putting up with my bullshit with grace. She worked hard. And she’d given me a gift that I hadn’t adequately appreciated when she surrendered her virginity. Jesus, if Frank knew that…I didn’t even want to think about what he’d do.
“Let’s get some grub. With Brooke gone, I’ve had to learn to cook. So far, I’ve managed to figure out the microwave.”
I laughed. “Sounds good.”
We walked back to the house. As we came in through the kitchen, Brooke was putting something in the oven.
“Brooke,” Frank said, surprised. “What are you doing here?”
She turned to us, stopping short when she saw me. “I…ah…I thought I’d come by to make you dinner.”
“I told her I was coming here after work,” I lied. I wasn’t sure why, except I guess I didn’t want her to tell her father what an ass I’d been to her, and now she was running home.
“Right.” She mustered a smile that didn’t reach her pretty blue eyes. “I thought I’d make both my boys dinner.”
Frank grinned and patted me on the back. “You need to stop by more, Mo, if that means I get a good home-cooked meal.”
“It will be another hour or so, if you want to get cleaned up, Dad.”
Frank looked down at his dusty jeans. “I think I’ll shower.”
I had some dust, but I was in a suit and had been behind a desk all day. Frank had been out in the dirt and sun all day, so he was a bit grimy and ripe. I sort of missed those days.
“Grab a beer, Mo, and make yourself at home.” Frank headed to the back of the house to take a shower.
When he left, I moved closer to Brooke so I could whisper. It was a mistake, as her sweet scent filled my nostrils and longing shot through my heart to my dick. “What are you doing here?”
She gave me a sharp look. “This is my home.”
If she wanted to stab me in the heart, it worked. As much as my brain said it was stupid, it bothered me that she didn’t think of my place as her home.
“Are you leaving me?” I asked. Interestingly, the worry wasn’t so much about the money I’d lose or have to repay. It was about not having her around. In the short time she’d been with me, I’d gotten used to her being there, even if I did my damnedest to avoid her.
She looked at me like I’d grown a third eye. Of course, she didn’t know about how much I had to lose if this marriage didn’t last a year. I’d leave me, too, after the way I’d treated her. I’d probably leave even knowing how much there was to lose. I was that big of an asshole.
“I made a commitment. I’ll keep it. To be honest, I wasn’t sure you’d notice I was gone. I left you a meal.”
That stung, too. “I’d notice,” I ground out. “I notice every fucking thing about you. That’s the problem.” I turned away, hating that I was letting sexual frustration get to me.
She laughed derisively. “You fooled me. I’ve never felt more alone than when I’m with you.”
I turned to her, hating how much I was hurting her. “I’m sorry about that, Brooke. Really, I am.” I leaned in, wanting to make sure Frank wouldn’t hear. “I have to put space between us, especially after what happened.”
She rolled her eyes. “Space I understand,” she said in her regular voice. “But completely ignoring me is cruel, even for you. It was just sex, Mo.”
Holy hell. I glanced behind me to make sure Frank didn’t hear that. “Keep your voice down. Your father is in the other room!”
Knowing she’d continue to talk about what happened, I took her arm and led her out of the kitchen down the hall opposite the bedrooms and into Frank’s study. I didn’t need him to overhear this.
She jerked her arm back. “I’m not a child to be scolded, Mo!”
“Then stop being so petulant.”
Her eyes narrowed, and for the first time, I thought she might hate me. “How dare you! You’re the one acting immature. You’re the one who can’t control your dick. And, like a man, instead of being responsible for it, you blame me.”
No, I didn’t. Did I?
“You’re the one that needs to get your shit together, not me.” Her eyes blazed with heat.
She was right. The problem was, I didn’t know how to do that. The more I tried to do the right thing, the more wrong it seemed to turn out. But to follow my impulse, my heart, that seemed wrong, too. I was well and truly fucked.
16
Brooke
If I was a violent woman, I’d have slapped him for calling me petulant. Of course, it would have proven his point. But he had some nerve suggesting I was the one being immature. I was of the opinion that I was the only grown-up in this situation. He was the one acting like a teenage boy, a slave to his dick, and then blaming me for it.
“Okay,” he said, taking a deep breath. “You’re right. I’m an asshole. But we don’t want your father to hear this conversation.”
“You.” I jammed my forefinger into his chest. “You don’t want him to hear it.”
I had no clue what my father would think. I suppose it would be weird for him to think about Mo touching me. I also believed my father wanted me to be happy. Of course, I wasn’t happy, but I could be if Mo got out of his own fucking way. He let out a frustrated groan.
“Me? I’ve tried to be a good daughter. A good wife. A good worker. And for what? To be treated like a child? To be told that my feelings don’t matter.”
“They do matter—”
“No, they don’t. Be a good girl, Brooke, and marry my friend to save my farm. Be a good girl, Brooke, and stay away from me because I want to fuck my friend’s daughter, and I’m too old for her. I did that, and I’m miserable, Mo.”
His eyes softened, turned regretful. “I know. I know, and I’m sorry. I hate that I hurt you. I should have never touched you. It was wrong for so many reasons—”
&nb
sp; “You see. There you go again. Touching me didn’t hurt me. Rejecting me because you think I’m too young or because you’re friends with my father, that’s what hurts.”
“I’m sorry.”
I scoffed. “Yes, I can see that.” I shook my head. “You don’t see me.”
“You’re right in front of me.”
“You see a young girl. You see Frank’s daughter. You don’t see me.” I pressed both my hands to my chest. “Me!”
His brows knitted together, indicating he had no clue what I was saying. I wasn’t sure what I was saying, either. It seemed to me that if he could see Brooke, and just Brooke, without the age and my father, he’d see how much I cared for him. Maybe he’d find that I was the one he was looking for. But with the filter of age and his friendship with my father skewing the view, he couldn’t see that, even if his heart, or maybe it was just his dick, could.
“I see a smart, beautiful woman.”
I shook my head. “You’re lying.”
He looked down.
“I understand your need to have distance at work. You don’t want them to know you married a kid—”
“Brooke.”
Okay, so I was milking it a bit too much. “I can take care of myself at work. I don’t need Trina to like me. I don’t need your accolades. My work speaks for itself.”
“It does.”
“But at home, I’d like to be acknowledged as a human being. I make your dinner, and you can barely say two words.”
He looked down. “I don’t know how to do this, Brooke.”
“Do what? Be a human being?”
He ran his fingers through his hair. “Be around you and not want you.”
I stopped short. It was the first time he’d really ever told me something like that. The fact that he’d touched me suggested he did want me. His constant avoiding me because of my age and father also indicated he was fighting with himself. Tucker told me that Mo was acting like this because he wanted me. What was different was that Mo had never verbalized it before.
“You can want me, Mo.”
Fake Marriage (Contemporary Romance Box Set) Page 50
