There had to be a difference, but I couldn’t think of one. “I’ll find a way to help the children that doesn’t betray my friend or my values.”
He nodded. “What about your reputation? This library could help you regain that. The people of Salvation would once again respect you. They wouldn’t be talking about how you tried to dupe a well-respected elderly woman out of her money.”
“I don’t care what people say.”
He quirked a brow. “Don’t you?”
I studied him wondering what he was getting at.
He stood and smoothed out his tie. “I wonder then why Mr. Marshall is no longer here. I figured it was because you didn’t like people talking about how young he is.”
How did he know that?
“You don’t know anything about it.”
He shrugged. “Maybe not. But I know that young man loves you enough to come into my home and threaten me with bodily harm if I messed…actually, I think he said, if I fucked with you again. In my mind, why else would you kick him out, unless it was the way people talked.” He reached out for the doorknob. “Then again, maybe you blamed him for ruining the library deal, but that would be unfair, and everything I’ve heard about you suggest that you’re a fair and decent person.”
He opened my front door. “If you change your mind about the library, let me know.”
“Mr. Stark.”
He turned. “Call me Simon.”
“If you’re interested in gaining the goodwill of the people, why not just build the library? Why do you have to have conditions?”
He shrugged. “In my experience, everything is transactional. I help you; you help me.”
“But that would be transactional. You help the town; the town welcomes you.”
He seemed to ponder that but then shook his head. “I’ve also learned that it helps to have people around that can be instrumental in meeting goals. I need Wallace in the mayor’s office to ensure my goodwill is accepted and appreciated.”
I shook my head. “That’s what you’re missing, Simon. Goodwill isn’t bought. It’s earned. Power may make people act like they respect you, but they don’t. Helping people is the fastest way to gain respect. At least in these parts.”
He gave me a friendly nod. “I appreciate your insights.” Then he walked out.
I sat down again and ran through my conversation with Stark. And out of it all, one thing became crystal clear. I was an idiot. Not because I turned down his offer to help with the library. I was an idiot to not see the man that Tucker was. He might be young, but he was more of a man than Simon Stark or Rick. He was good and kind and solid. He knew himself better than any person I’d ever met. He knew himself better than I knew myself. He loved me. Once.
The question was, could he love me again?
35
Tucker
I woke feeling like I had sandpaper in my mouth. I rolled from bed, drank a glass of water, ate three pain relievers, washing them down with more water, then I made coffee. My stomach suggested that I’d skip breakfast and wait for brunch.
But waking up hungover, wasn’t so bad since drinking had given me time with Brooke. She’d listened, commiserated, kicked my ass a few times, but mostly she’d just been there. Plus, I’d gotten the scoop on things with Mo and at work, Trina’s less obnoxious behavior now that she was pregnant, and the town gossip, that did include my fake marriage to Holly, but what was being said didn’t seem too bad. Maybe Brooke had sanitized it, but normally she was a straight shooter when it came to things where the truth mattered.
I called her at eleven in to make sure she was doing alright. Mo answered and told me that she’d been up earlier and he’d plied her with water and pain reliever then put her back to bed.
“I appreciate you’re being okay with her spending time here,” I said. I was sure most men wouldn’t like their wives hanging out and drinking with other men. The fact that it didn’t bother him proved that he understood she was my best buddy.
“I’m glad that she has time with you. It sounded like you needed the support.”
I had a fuzzy memory of her commanding him to make Holly love me. “She’s a good friend.”
“That she is. And for what it’s worth, if this thing with Holly is important, give her time. She’s had a rough year with Rick and now all this hubbub involving you and the library.”
“Those aren’t what she said was the problem. The issue isn’t something that can be fixed.”
“No, but sometimes, a little time can make a person re-evaluate their previously held notions. This I know for sure, Tucker. I’d be a liar if I said I didn’t have moments of thinking what the hell was I doing marrying a woman nearly two-decades younger than me. But then she shows up with that sunny smile and love in her eyes, I know that I’d be an idiot to pass up on her love.”
If Holly only thought the same. “Well, I’ve got time.” But I wasn’t sure how quickly I’d forget or take the risk again. I shook my head because I was certain there would be no again.
After my call, I made my brunch and worked on some curriculum ideas and was considering a nap when there was a knock at my door.
“You didn’t forget anything last night, love,” I said as I opened the door. My heart stopped. “Holly.”
She smiled, but I could see hesitancy in her eyes. “I’m sorry…I ah…I didn’t realize you had company.”
“I don’t,” I said, as a wash of emotion flooded me. How could I hold on to my resentment when my heart was reaching out to touch her? Then I realized what she said. She must have thought I had a lady friend over. “Brooke came over last night. Mo had to carry her, literally, out of here. She’s lush, you know.”
Holly cocked her head, like she hadn’t expected any levity. To be honest, I’m not sure where it came from.
We stared at each other for a moment. “Is there something you need?” I asked.
“Oh…uh…”
I opened the door. “I can make coffee if you want.”
She seemed relieved as she stepped inside. She looked around and I realized she’d never been here before.
“My humble abode. It’s not much, but it works.” I led her to the tiny kitchen with eat-in dining area and made a pot of coffee.
Then I leaned against the counter and watched her as she looked out my kitchen window. I had a déjà vu of being in her kitchen like this. It felt like a million years ago, and at the same time, like it was yesterday.
She finally turned and looked down for a moment. She looked up and said, “I was hoping for a do-over.”
I arched a brow.
“The last time I came to talk to you, I said I had no expectations from you. I just wanted to tell you the truth about what I’d been feeling.”
“I remember.” My gut clenched and I held my breath as I waited for what she was going to say.
“This time, I have no right to have any expectations…what I’m hoping is that you’ll consider what I’m saying and maybe…possibly…forgive me.”
Forgive? I realized in that moment, I’d wanted her to tell me she loved me and wanted another chance.
I let out the breath I was holding. “I forgive you, Holly. I won’t lie. It hurts, but I can’t make you love me and I can’t change my age, so…” I shrugged instead of finishing the thought.
“You don’t have to make me love you, Tucker. I already do. I’m sure I did before I even met you. When we were texting.”
Everything stopped in my chest. Was I hearing her right?
“I won’t say that I don’t feel concerned about the age difference. That is still there. But I miss you and I was never happier than when I was with you. Ever. And…” She looked down again like she was struggling to find the words.
“What changed?”
“Well, one is that I miss you. I thought I could live with this hole, you know?” She pressed her hand over her heart.
“I’ve got one of those too,” I said. I ached to touch her, and yet, I couldn’
t quite bring myself to do it.
“My friends came over. We had a girl’s sleepover. We all got pretty lit. Karen said some things that even when drunk, really hit me. One was that she wanted to console you, which I hope you won’t allow because I’d have to kill you both.”
My lips twitched up slightly at her humor. “Good to know.”
“She also said that I shouldn’t let what others might think have any bearing on my relationships.”
“Were people telling you not to see me?” I asked.
“No, but I kept imagining them saying things about us. About it being wrong or weird or whatever. My real hang-up is worrying that you’ll someday find me unattractive while you’re still so young.”
My heart broke at her words. “I don’t love you because of how you look, Holly. I love you for the woman you are. Do I like how you look? Yes. Sure. But I was falling for you before I ever saw you. And when I saw you in that picture, it did register to me that you were older. I didn’t know how much. And I didn’t care. Because there was something about you in the picture that grabbed hold me and has never let go.”
Tears fell from her eyes. “You’re very good with words.”
“They’re just how I feel. No more. No less.” I gripped the counter with each hand by my side to stop myself from going to her. I needed to hear more. I needed to hear what she wanted from me. From us.
“Stark came to my house.”
“What the hell!” I straightened and was ready to go kick that man’s ass.
“He said he’d pay for the library if I supported Wallace. All this time, all this hurt he brought to us, was to keep me being active in Sinclair’s campaign.” She shook her head. “I shouldn’t blame him for all of it. I made choices that resulted in all this trouble. I think even he was surprised at all the fallout.”
“I’m gonna kill him.”
She smiled, and I wished it was bigger and brighter. “Don’t do that. It’s a long way to go visit you in prison.” She took a beat. “He told me you loved me.”
“He doesn’t know love.”
“Does that mean you don’t? Not anymore?” she asked.
A part of me was irked. I’d told her so many times how I felt. And while she’d said she loved me a few seconds ago, I still felt like I needed more.
“Why are you here?” I asked.
She sighed. “I’m terrible at this. I’m here because I love you and am asking you for another chance.”
“What about how you’ll be fifty-three when I’m forty?” I said.
She swallowed. “My worry over the age is that you’ll leave me, Tucker. I’ll be happy as long as you’re with me.”
“I wish I could make you understand that this is a done deal for me. It has been since the beginning. I’m yours Holly. But I can’t take any more of your pushing me away. You’re in or you're out. No more back and forth.”
“I’m in.” She moved toward me but didn’t touch me. “All in. Tell me what I need to do to prove it to you.”
“Be honest. That’s all I need.”
“I love you. My sweet, sweet Tucker. I love you.”
The tightness in my chest finally loosened and I reached for her. “I love you so fucking much Holly.” I pulled her to me and held her close. “Don’t ever rip my heart out again.”
“I promise I won’t.”
I looked down at her and cupped her face in my hands. “I won’t leave you. EVER.”
“I believe you.”
I knew people well enough to know that she’d still have moments of doubt. People would probably talk. I’d do or say something that made her pause. But I could deal with that as long as she didn’t push me away. As long as she told me the truth when she felt concern, and I’d do everything in my power to reassure her.
“Is this where we kiss and make up?” I asked, finally smiling and feeling like it came from my soul.
“I hope so. You’re not a boy toy and this isn’t just about sex, Tucker, but you’re very good at it and I like it.”
I laughed. “It helps to have a sexy, willing, responsive partner.”
“I never knew it could be so much. So exciting and intense and joyful.”
“That’s the love, baby. Now, we can do this here. I’ve got a fairly sturdy table over there. Or we could take this to my bedroom, which has a bed and is close to the shower. I figure between those two, we could have an entire afternoon of O’s.”
She smiled and it fucking lit up my soul. “I want to do it all. Starting in the bedroom.”
I scooped her up in my arms and she let out a whoop. “Tucker…you might drop me.”
“I watched Mo carry Brooke out of here last night. He had such love for her and her for him. I was so jealous. So, give me this little fantasy of sweeping you off your feet and carrying you to bed.”
She looped her arms around my neck. “Whatever you want. I want that too.”
I brought her to my room, laying her on my bed, and looking down on her. “You’re beautiful, you know that?”
Her cheeks flushed. “You make me feel beautiful.” She reached her arms up to me.
I eagerly went to her, needing to feel her body against mine, my lips consuming hers, our souls joining.
We undressed without fervor, and yet, quickly until she was under me. I pinned her arms over her head and kissed her with all the love I had for her.
“Tell me again,” I murmured against her lips.
“I love you.”
I moaned and settled my hips between her thighs. “Music to my ears.”
“I need you, Tucker. Please.” Her body arched.
She was ready so soon and it told me that she needed this as much as I did. Not just the sexual satisfaction, but the need to join together to fill the final bits of emptiness.
So, I pressed in, filling her in a long, steady stroke that had her arching more, opening more, until I was seeped inside. Until I was a part of her.
A tear ran down her cheek.
“Holly.”
She opened her eyes and gave me a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry I’m being a dope. I just…I can’t believe I could have lost you. I’ve been such an idiot.”
I kissed her lips. “Don’t talk like that. You’re here now. That’s what matters.” I trailed my lips down her neck and over her collarbone. I sucked a nipple into my mouth, loving the texture and taste of it. And how it always made her pussy clench over my dick.
Her hands ran down my back and held my ass, encouraging me to move. So, I did. Together our bodies rocked, each pushing the other closer and closer to the edge, until we were unable to resist the pull of pleasure, and we leapt into bliss as we clung to each other and our new found love.
Epilogue
Holly – four months later
The afternoon I showed up at Tucker’s, planning to ask for a second chance, I was scared to death. I was surprised at how kind he was, even funny at first, and I wondered if he was over me already. Maybe I’d been right in that because of his youth, he would see this as just another love affair and move on.
But as I took my chance and talked to him, I saw the pain I’d inflicted was still there and I wasn’t sure he was ready to forgive me, if he ever would be.
I realized I wasn’t doing a very job of it by not focusing on what I wanted and what he needed to hear. That I loved him and wanted to be with him. Even then I wasn’t sure how it would go. He’d have every right to push me away, since that was all I’d done to him. I’d built a wall and each time he tried to breach it by telling me how he felt, I dismissed our feelings to push him back again. It wasn’t that I didn’t love him, but that I was terrified of the love I had for him.
But like the beautiful, sweet man he was, he did forgive me. He opened his heart and let me in again, and I vowed I wouldn’t mess it up ever again. After he made love to me, I pushed him back straddling him, and touching him and kissing him, everywhere. I wanted him to know that I loved him deeply. I wanted to make amends and fix the pai
n I’d put in his eyes, in his heart.
When I was done, as he came, leaving a part of him inside me as he said my name, I felt the final bits of my heart, my soul, finally mending together.
We lay together, my head on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart.
“Would it be too soon to ask you to move back with me?” I asked. It felt too soon, and yet I desperately wanted to have what we’d had before when he was at my house, only better because it was real.
“More fixits to be done?” he asked with humor.
“Just here,” I said, putting his hand over my heart.
“If I haven’t fixed that yet, I better get started.” He rolled me underneath him and kissed me between my breasts. “But to be sure, I should probably move in.”
I held him to me and vowed to never let go.
We moved him back that very night. He cooked me dinner, replaced a light bulb in the bathroom, and made love to me all night long. How I’d nearly lost this man was beyond me. Clearly, I’d been not thinking right.
Did I have moments of worry about our age difference still? Yes. But I did as he told me to do, and was honest with him when it happened. He always responded in a way that pushed my doubts aside.
It took a little more effort on his part when he brought me home to meet his mother over Thanksgiving.
“She knows everything?” I asked as we flew to Chicago.
He kissed my hand. “Where do you think I learned about being honest with feelings. But it will be fine Holly. I promise.”
“What if she doesn’t like me?”
“She will.” His smile seemed so sure.
“How do you know?”
“Because I love you.” My heart did that little roll it always did when he said those three little words to me.
His mother was very kind, even when she got me alone, and grilled me. “I don’t care, Holly, that you’re older. Tucker knows who he is and what he wants, and he wants you. That’s enough for me. But if you hurt him again—”
Fake Marriage (Contemporary Romance Box Set) Page 82
