His head rolls to face me and the corner of his mouth hooks up with enjoyment.
“I wouldn’t have thought you were a game player, Emma.”
“I’m not, I don’t need games to reel you in.”
The laughter coming from him fills the room and I find myself moving closer to him.
“Oh, you don’t?”
“Nope, you’re already into me. The hard part is over.”
The words leave my mouth but I’m feeling anything but confident when it comes to this man.
Myles
Last night was…real. It’s the only way I can describe spending time with Emma. I always thought I was attracted to women with an edge, who lived to bend or break the rules. The ones who would spread their legs on command. With Emma, she’s none of the above and it’s her I can’t stop thinking about. I haven’t even spoken with my family, or anyone at the club about how I really feel about Mason staying behind in Mercy and yet with her last night, I wanted to get it all off my chest. I wanted her to hear how I was feeling and when she promised she wasn’t judging me, I believed her.
I sit by the moses basket and watch as the baby sleeps. Hailee was adamant she was either Mase’s or mine and I try to see if she has any of our features. She has a head full of light dusty blonde hair and her nose is like a little button. I don’t have a fucking clue if she looks like us, as we look the same, and I blow out a heavy breath.
“Regardless if she’s yours or Mason’s, we’re going to have to deal with this legally and you’re going to have to track down Hailee too.”
Five minutes without mom in my ear would be nice.
“Why the fuck would I track her down? The bitch ran out on the kid. She’s just a…”
“She’s a what?” she asks, cutting me off. “A girl you had fun with? A girl who had my grandchild without any support from us and a girl who is in trouble? You mean that girl?”
“You don’t know she’s in trouble.”
“Myles, she was clearly struggling and she left her baby behind. If nothing else, she’s either the mother of your child or the mother of your niece. You and Mason laid with her, you’ve got a duty of care toward her.”
Like fuck. I’m not in the mood to agree with her and I’m not in the mood to fight with her either.
“Myles, your life has changed, you need to catch up and see it. You not wanting to be her dad doesn’t matter, you possibly made her, and if you are her daddy, you will step up. Mark my words, son, you will step up,” she grinds out and walks out.
A minute later, the front door slams and I jump up and rush to the window. Mom’s car starts and disappears from sight. She fucking left me alone with the baby?
Between the door slamming and mom’s car engine, the kid wakes and opens her lungs. Shit, she’s so loud for something so fucking small.
I peer into her basket and her little face is going red. I go to pick her up and then step away. Shit, I can’t leave her to cry. I run upstairs and burst into Tori’s room.
“The baby’s screaming, come help me!”
In my haste I forget she can’t hear me, I look around and can’t find her board. I spy a notepad and a pencil and quickly jot down I need her downstairs.
She rolls onto her side, showing me her back and waves me out her room. Fucks sake.
Luck is on my side when I step out into the hall and Emma is coming out of her room. I barely have time to register the short shorts and her tank top she wears for bed and grab her by the arm.
“Come with me,” I bark at her and wince. I didn’t mean to be short with her, but needs be.
We end up in the living room and I point down at the baby.
“Make her stop,” I instruct her like a damn fool.
“Make her stop?” she clarifies, frowning at me.
I nod quickly, nearly spraining my neck. The kid might be in pain again, I don’t know and it’s fucking scaring me shitless.
She walks over to the basket and scoops the baby up into her arms, she jiggles her a little and puts the pacifier in her mouth. The baby’s cries turn into a little sob and then she quietens altogether.
“How do you do that?”
I’m really starting to believe she was sent to us because she’s an angel.
“Not treating her like she’s a disease helps,” she quips, rolling her eyes. “Did you not think to see if she’s hungry or if she needs a diaper change?”
Shrugging, I reply, “I don’t know any of that stuff.”
“My old neighbour had five children, I used to babysit for her in the evenings while she worked. You kind of pick this stuff up pretty easy when you’re not afraid to pick the baby up.”
Teaching sign language, helping me with the kid, babysitting, she is a fucking angel.
“Come on, it’s about time you learn.”
I follow her to the couch where she lays the baby down and I move about the room as she orders me to collect everything she needs.
“Kneel down,” she instructs, and I fall to my knees at her command.
I’m pretty sure I’d do anything she asked of me.
She undresses the baby and undoes the diaper. “When she’s crying, there’s always a reason. She’s either, wet, hungry or in pain. Occasionally, she’ll cry just because she wants a cuddle from you, but most of the time it’s because she needs something. This diaper is saturated, Myles.” She wipes cleans the baby and places a clean diaper under her butt. I watch every move she makes and then I’m being passed the dirty diaper. Fuck, the weight of it.
I run out and throw it in the trash and by the time I’m back inside, the baby is dressed and in Emma’s arms.
“When was she last fed?” she asks, again, I shrug.
“Next lesson, making a bottle up for her.”
Into the kitchen we go and as she holds the baby, she makes me deal with the bottle. I listen to each step she tells me and to be honest, it’s pretty simple.
I finish it off by testing the temperature of the milk on my wrist and then hers just to be sure it’s not too hot.
She sits at the table and where I usually sit across from her, I sit at the end of the table and scoot my chair closer to her. I pass her the bottle but she doesn’t take it. I put it on the table and say, “We should talk about last night.”
She looks up at me as she jostles the baby in her arms so she’s upwards, her head resting on her shoulder.
“On one condition,” she finally says. I nod.
She shifts in her chair and then the baby is coming toward me. My first instinct is to freeze and then it’s to get out of here. Mom has done everything so far and I’ve got away with not having to do anything.
The baby hits my chest and my arms fling into action. I take hold of her and Emma sits down after checking I’m holding her right.
I’m tense. I loosen my jaw and breathe. This isn’t so bad.
“You need to bond with her, she’ll sense how you feel if you sit there tense as hell. She won’t ever settle with you.”
Rolling my shoulders, I lean back on the chair and look down at the kid. I suppose she’s a cute kid, she’s tiny and she fits snugly against me.
Her little eyes are wide open and as she stares up at me, her little fingers grip onto my tee.
My heart is pounding in my chest and I swear, the kid can feel it.
Emma hands me the bottle and I don’t hesitate to take it from her. I rub the teat against the baby’s lips and she immediately sucks it in and begins to drink.
“Keep the teat full with milk, you don’t want any air in there.”
I nod, and smile when Emma pulls her chair so close her knee knocks against mine.
I like it.
“So?”
“We kissed, it was hot, but that’s all it will be.”
That fucking sucks.
“I’ve never kissed anyone like that before, I’d sure as shit like to do it again.”
Cocking her left brow, disbelief washes over her and I sigh.
“Myles, that’s a complete lie. Victoria’s been filling me in on all your conquests.”
I bet she has, fucking sisters. “I find it hard to believe you’ve never kissed anyone before.”
“I didn’t say I haven’t kissed anyone, I’m saying I’ve never kissed anyone like last night. It wasn’t just a kiss to me.”
“Myles…”
“I’m not going to deny I’ve been with a lot of girls, I won’t even deny anything you’ve been told about me. But…”
“But what?”
“But I’m…never mind.”
I don’t have a fucking clue what I’m trying to say, what I want or how I want this to proceed. First the baby shows up and then I meet Emma. It’s been a whirlwind over the last couple of weeks. Everything is moving so fast; I can’t keep up and think straight.
“Concentrate on this little girl, everything else will fall into place if it’s meant to be.”
She’s right. It doesn’t help me with her now, though. I’ve never had to wait for a girl before.
Emma
My conversation with Myles a couple of days ago has been playing on my mind. We like each other, that much is obvious. However, he has to focus on Penelope and I’m here to do a job. A job which would be made easier if Victoria had left her room in the last two days. I’ve tried signing with her while she’s laid up in bed, but she either rolls over and shows me her back or she pulls the sheets up over her head until I leave.
I think she’s suffering from depression. Which is understandable in her circumstance. I’m helping Kyla with the dishes when Myles walks around the back from out front with the baby in his arms. He’s been at her side since Kyla left him with her and he’s better at it than he gave himself credit for.
She’s only cried a handful of times since he’s been spending time with her and when she does start to murmur, he’s there, checking her over seeing what she needs. The change has been fast, but it’s been natural and he’s taking her serisouly.
It’s the cutest thing I’ve seen. It makes him much more beautiful to me and that’s why I’ve been steering clear of him as much as I can.
I rinse the last bottle ready to be sterilized and dry my hands with the towel.
“Is Tori not coming down again today?” Kyla asks, scooping up the washed bottles from the drainer.
“She says she’s ill.” I shouldn’t get involved but I can’t help it. “Kyla, I think she’s depressed.”
“Of course she feels blue, she’s lost her fucking hearing,” Pope grumbles from his seat at the table.
After spending time with him in the evenings when he comes over, I’m getting used to his tone, especially after spending time with the family I’ve come to learn he talks like that with mostly everyone. It’s not just me. Thank God.
“It’s more than feeling blue, she might need help before she sinks even lower. Depression is a real thing, Mr. Thomas.”
He scoffs and puts his gun down that he’s been cleaning. “My granddaughter will overcome this, she’s strong. She’s not depressed, she’s resting.”
It’s clear he’s not a believer in mental health and it’s not going to help his granddaughter. I look to Kyla and she’s frowning at her father.
I hope she hears me and gets Victoria some help. Even the strongest of people can be hit with depression and as soon as people like Pope recognise this, the better it will be for those affected. I’ve said my piece and leave it alone. I wipe over the countertop and go to offer to teach Kyla some sign when someone knocks at the door.
From where I stand, I can see her sign for an envelope from a courier. She hastily shuts the door and hurries back into the kitchen.
“It’s the results.”
“About time,” Pope grunts and sits forward.
“I’ll let Myles know,” I offer, and slip out the back door.
I walk across the yard and sit beside him at the bench Victoria and me spend quite a bit of time on.
“Your results have just been delivered,” I tell him and his eyes widen briefly.
Last week, he was an asshole about the baby, after the last couple of days, I think he’s just plain scared to know the outcome.
Placing my hand on his arm, I say, “For what it’s worth, if she’s yours you’ll make a great father. If she’s your brothers, you’ll be a great uncle. Either way, she’s a lucky girl to have you in her life.”
This makes him smile and he seems to relax. “You could be a lucky girl if you let me into your life.”
“Way to ruin a moment,” I say and laugh.
“Got to keep it real, babe. But you reckon I’ll be a good dad?”
“Sure, you’ve been great with her over the last few days.”
“A few days is nothing compared to the rest of our lives.”
I need him to see and hear what I know to be true about him.
“Victoria has told me so many times how good of a brother you are, and you’ve been her brother for years. It’s no different really, you love her, you protect her, you make sure she has everything she needs. It will all fall into place. I promise.”
He still doesn’t look convinced and I wish I could find the perfect words he would believe, so I try.
“One thing I learned from caring for my mom was no matter how you’re feeling, when it comes to her nothing else matters. This little girl didn’t ask to be born, she deserves nothing but the best from you and you have to deliver no matter what is going on and you will, Myles, I know it.”
“I’m glad you have faith in me. I sure as shit don’t have it in myself.”
“Just take it one day at a time and before you know it, she’ll be a teenager sassing you wanting to go out on dates.”
“Not with boys like me.” He snorts and I laugh. “You’re going to make me a good old lady one day.”
My laughter stops. He is relentless. Smirking, he rises from the bench keeping Penelope in his arms. She sleeps soundly against his chest and I don’t blame her. I’d like to fall asleep there too.
“In your dreams,” I throw back at him.
“Oh, you’re in my dreams, for sure.”
He backs away and then swivels around and walks to the house leaving me with flushed cheeks and feeling warm all over.
Biting down on the inside of my mouth, it’s going to get real hard to keep pushing him away when I want him this much.
I stay on the bench, giving the family some privacy and search for houses to rent in town on my phone.
Willows Peak seems a good place as any to stay a while and looking doesn’t hurt. Most of the properties are miles from their neighbours but there’s a two-bed one story house in town and the rent is reasonably priced. I can afford it with the payday coming from Mr. Thomas.
I click on the link to call the realtor and set up an appointment to view the place late this afternoon.
Life when mom was alive was good between us, but everything was a constant struggle. Since she passed, shit seems to landing on my lap. For once, I’m excited about life and where mine is going.
I check what jobs are going in town, I shouldn’t imagine there’s much need for a sign language tutor in a town like this, I’ll need a regular job and I can help people in my spare time. The only half decent job posted in the last two days is the dental office, looking for a receptionist. I email them my CV and pray they don’t see the lack of everything on there.
Who knows, luck is on my side at the moment, hopefully it stretches to a job too.
Feeling accomplished, I wonder how long I’ll have to wait out here when the back door opens, and Myles walks back out with Penelope.
“She’s mine,” he tells me and I’m not surprised. Although, his pale complexion and the look of fear on him tells me he is surprised.
“Don’t be so scared of her, Myles.”
“It’s not her who’s scaring me. You’re the first person I wanted to know and when I saw my future with her, you were a part of it.”
I’m the one
who’s scaring him, to be honest, I’m glad. He’s out right scaring me in return.
When he’s like this it’s hard to remember the fuck boy stories Victoria told me about the other day.
His phone rings and I gladly take a breather at the interruption to this conversation.
He cuts it off and goes to open his mouth to speak when a message comes through, using one arm to keep Penelope in his hold, he scrolls through his phone and reads the text.
Frowning, he says, “I’ve got to go, can we talk later?”
In whatever direction we go in, it’s best we discuss it soon. He has responsibilities now and he needs to know where he stands, and so do I.
“Sure.”
As he walks back into the house, I sigh. My head and my heart are torn. My heart wants to see where life will take me with him, but my head, my stupid, stupid head is screaming this is a bad idea.
Myles
Cas and Sparky wanted everyone at the club to discuss the run in two days time. It couldn’t have come at a worse time than this. The kid is mine and I’m desperate to sort out whatever I’m feeling about Emma. My life has consisted of having fun, causing mayhem and having a good time. Rolling from day to day taking life as it comes. Now I have to know shit, I have responsibilities and what I want above all, is Emma.
I wasn’t lying when I told her I saw her in my future. I haven’t looked into my future before, I’ve always known I’ll be a Lost Soul and I’d have to deal with shit as it comes, but with her I need to know she’s going to be around. With me.
“Myles? You listening?” Cas asks, and I blink, coming back into the room.
All I need is a time and I’ll be here. Everything else until we leave is irrelevant.
“Yeah, course.”
“What time are we leaving then?” he questions me.
“Noon,” I try to say without posing it as a question.
“Noon?” Sparky scoffs and I roll my eyes.
“Let him off this time, he’s just found out he’s a daddy,” Dad throws in and I close my eyes.
“Congratulations, brother,” JJ offers, leaning back in his chair so he can reach across and slap me on the back.
Their Fractured Souls: Sons Of Lost Soul MC Book Six Page 19
