“Amy, Rick! Now! Launch it now!”
No Rest for the Weary
Rick had been hanging on for dear life for the past few minutes. When Diego told them to strap-in, he’d felt that familiar feeling of mounting panic. There were no seats in the main cargo hold. He’d tied himself down with a cable from one of the winches. By the time he'd realised he needed a much shorter length for his stratagem to work, it was too late. When Diego told them to launch the generator, Rick had been bouncing around for a little while, crashing against crates and walls. He was in no state to comply.
From his crumbled position he grunted towards Amy who’d been busy preparing the gravity device. She held it with her tractor beam and headed towards one of the smaller side doors. It slid open as she interacted with its panel. The room filled with the sound of rushing wind and volcanic ash, Rick was crawling towards Amy when he caught a glimpse of Steve.
The bot was clamped to the wall casually filming Rick, who suddenly remembered he had gravity boots incorporated to his suit. Without Mom to operate them he’d forgotten. Maybe he needed another AI in his suit. Rick activated the magnetic clamps.
The smell of sulfur filled his nostrils as he approached Amy, more flashing and dull alarm bells in his helmet as he gripped the opening. Something about excessive pressure.
Amy was tethered and floating right by the door. Maybe this tether idea wasn’t so stupid. The device floated in her tractor beam just outside the ship. Amy was straining, Rick had never heard her engine rev and whirr so loudly.
Diego came on the PA again, shouting at them to drop the gravity generator. The thing was slightly bigger than a basketball, Rick lost sight of it almost immediately. It was set to activate after twelve seconds. He gripped the side of the doorway and counted down. The detonation created a three hundred metre radius of 10g pull towards it. A wall of molten rock, hot gases and fumes instantly summoned to cover their escape.
The force of the device shook Rick to his core. Any miscalculation would have seen them sucked backwards into that mess. He tried to get a glimpse of the pursuing ship but couldn’t see anything, the crazy plan might have actually worked.
The door slid closed, and they hurried back to the bridge for confirmation. Rick really hoped this was finally the end of their pursuers.
Back on the flight deck, Rick hopped in his captain’s chair, and Amy went to check on some displays. Rick peered out the windows, they were back in space.
“That was insane!” Rick was heaving with excitement.
“Did it work?” Diego asked eagerly.
“What do you mean, did it work? You tell me! Did it work?” Rick gestured at the instruments and screens in front of Diego.
“They’re not following anymore.” Diego waved at some screens as if expecting Rick to understand what anything meant.
“OK, so it worked.”
“Yeah, but I didn’t see it! Did it create a wall of lava?”
“Oh, it was incredible! And, yes, total wall of lava! You’re fucking insane!”
“Oye! It worked!” Diego shrugged, “and you liked it!”
“You’re still insane!”
They both laughed, but Diego’s game face was back in an instant. He explained the situation to Rick. They were in one of the corridors heading for Jupiter. And they were most probably still being pursued. Their current destination was obvious.
“So how are we going to do this?”
“There’s hundreds of ports and stations around Jupiter. They won’t find us if we get there without a tail.”
“Cool beans.” Rick was satisfied with Diego’s handling of things, and Amy’s quiet told him she was probably a little impressed. “I’m gonna go check on Brock.” Diego gave him a nod and Rick got up. “You coming Ames?” Amy said she was and followed him out.
Brock was still in his bed. Moondog was in the same medbay against him. The others were all there too, Moon sat by Brock’s side cuddling the dog. The dog's new metal rib cage had almost cracked from that soldier’s attack. Rick was so angry. Who the fuck tries to shoot a dog?
Mr T hovered on the side talking with the others. Rick caught the gist of it as he approached them. Brock’s injuries were pretty much healed, but he wasn’t waking up. Rick didn’t really understand. The time for questions had come. Hopefully, they wouldn’t be too stupid.
“Is the bed keeping him asleep? Like when my armour locks up?”
“No fool!”
“The medpods only help accelerate healing processes.”
“Thanks, Amy.” Rick glanced warily at Mr T before carrying on with his questions. “So why can’t we wake him up?” Rick scowled at Mr T in preparation for another insult.
“He’s in a self-induced coma.” Amy displayed one of her many sad face emojis.
“He did this to himself?”
“Yeah, fool!”
“Why?”
“Because he’s a fool!”
“Usually to assess trauma and speed-up the healing process.”
“So how do we wake him up?”
“We can’t Rick, I’m sorry.”
“Fool’ll come out when he’s good and ready!”
“What about neural link?”
“No connection Rick.”
“The jibba jabba stops here!” With that Mr T ended the conversation. Brock was asleep, and there was no waking him up. Great.
◆◆◆
Rick didn’t know much about the refuelling stations of Jupiter, but he’d heard from Moon they were a sight to behold. Rick offered his hand to Moon, she gave Moondog a long cuddle and told him she’d be back soon, and they left Brock to his ill-timed nap. The dog could use a bit more medbay time and seemed happy to stay next to Brock.
Rick plopped down in the captain’s chair, and Moon sat on him. She was heavier than she seemed. Her appearance was that of a young, slender, semi-goth scientist. But she was more than likely at least half Terminator. He could feel his armoured suit press against his legs. He started thinking about their combined weight on his chair. He kept his mouth shut and just smiled. The chair was big enough for both of them, that’s all that mattered.
Rick wasn’t sure what he was feeling. It was probably love. But there was no concrete way he could know. He heard about it in songs and movies. He’d never experienced the thing. He spent most of his life as a selfish husk of a drunk. Caring about people was new to him. People caring about him was even stranger. He had fans. And Amy, Brock and T. But this was different.
Moon’s gasp brought his attention to the sights outside the windows. She had never been to Jupiter’s stations, but she knew the scientists that developed the project. Rick shook his head disbelief. Is there any project she hadn’t been involved in? He stared stupidly at Moon while she educated him about the stations' workings.
The gas giant grew steadily in the windows, Jupiter and the network of stations that fed off it filled the horizon now. The refuelling stations looked like a fishermen’s knotted lines suspended in water. Each knot a different chamber, where a new reaction was triggered.
Deep beneath Jupiter’s surface, in the maelstrom, the scoop collected gases. The gases were pumped out of the planet’s atmosphere into the treatment chambers. Moon tried to explain accelerated decay to no avail, he shook his head and shrugged, she laughed but tried again anyway.
“Tritium is extracted from the mixed blend of gases on the planet. It goes through accelerated decay as it makes its way through the chambers up to the stations, and by the time it reaches the station it’s decayed into helium-3 and is ready for packaging into the efficient He-3 cryo gel capsules or tanks for its liquid form, for old ships to pump from, like humans did with petrol cars.”
“So we’re getting the cryo things?”
“Yes, I think so.”
“What do we do with them? Chuck ’em in a fire or something?” Moon laughed. He wasn’t actually joking though.
“We fuse it with deuterium gas in the onboard reactor. That creates
helium-4 and a fuck-ton of electricity!” She made an explosion sound with her mouth and spread her hands out to show Rick it was a lot.
Moon pointed at the planet’s equator, it was peppered with stations and an array of gravity dampers and shields to protect them. To Rick, they looked like elephant heads with their trunks drinking up Jupiter’s atmosphere, but he also saw Moon’s fisherman’s line analogy.
The ship circumvented the planet until they reached Rodriguez’ station. If a station’s success was determined by its size, then this was a successful station. Rick shifted in his seat to signal to Moon that he wanted to get up, and together they went up to the bridge windows. He walked behind Moon to shake some life back into his dead legs.
The ship followed an approach corridor towards an empty landing pad and Mom made an announcement telling everybody they’d be arriving shortly. Diego had left the controls to her and had joined Rick and Moon.
“Loco hey?”
“Not really, Moon explained it to me. It’s all straightforward once you know the science.” Rick’s face stayed straight for the whole sentence.
“Qué?” Diego met Rick’s eyes and held them. Without breaking eye contact, he reached into one of his body’s compartments and pulled out a marker. Rick strained to see the pen without breaking his mask. Diego brought the Sharpie up to his head and slowly drew a raised eyebrow over his left eye. “Qué?”
Moon burst out laughing. Rick roared, and Diego followed, as did Gary who Rick hadn’t even noticed was watching. He scanned the room and found that everyone was on the flight deck apart from Brock, T and Moondog.
The ship stopped moving, and Mom came on the PA to announce they’d arrived. Their spacecraft didn’t really land so much as accost. It hovered in park next to one of the many covered loading platforms, itself connected to a larger warehouse attached to the factory that processed Jupiter’s gaseous bounty.
“Alright, vamos, let’s do this quick!”
Mom deployed the passerelle and opened the engineering section’s doors. Diego led them to engineering, Rick sauntered behind with Moon as she explained how the ship worked. She'd just confirmed that the ship ran on cryo gel as Diego opened the reactor’s fuel hatch revealing dozens of neat rows of canisters, little red lights blinked over a third of them. Rick found out that meant empty and that they had to be collected. Now. By him. Quickly.
While he pulled out empty canisters and tossed them into a wheelie bin Diego had brought over, Moon continued to lecture him. And he listened, because, though he didn’t understand or really care that much, he did enjoy having Moon talk at him.
“And the capsules are fed to the reactor where they are fused to make helium-4. It’s great because it’s highly efficient with virtually no waste and radiation…” Moon trailed off, so Rick looked up to see why she stopped. “Are you listening? You can tell me if I’m boring you.”
“No, please do tell me more about how all this science that makes the ship science!”
Moon laughed, and her laughter filled Rick with the feeling heroes feel, maybe, it’s not like he knew anyway, but it was a nice feeling.
Rick tossed the last of the empty canisters in the wheelie bin. Diego was talking to some robot and waved him over. He noticed Steve was already in position, he’d clambered up the collection zone overhang. That made Rick smile. He smiled all the way to Diego who asked him why he was grinning like an idiot.
“Up there”, Rick pointed at Steve.
“Loco that robot!”
“You know, there used to be three of these guys…” Rick paused and thought back to the other camera bots. He still didn’t know their names. Dick move. Diego was looking at Rick as if to say “get on with it”, Rick got on with it. “Yeah sorry. They died filming. Bouncing about during firefights.
“Loco…”
“Yeah…” Rick suddenly felt sad for the lost bots. They hadn’t even said any words or had any drinks in their honour. Sadness became shame. He added honouring the dead to his growing list of responsibilities.
“Rick! Enough emotions cabrón, grab a crate and take it back to the ship.”
Diego turned back to the bot, and Rick picked up a crate. The struggle was real. Every muscle in his body tensed. It took everything he and the armour had to lift it. The grunt he let out made Diego and the bot stop talking. Moon and Amy were walking towards him. Rick felt a chill run down his spine as he entertained the thought that Moon was stronger than him. So slender and delicate, but probably rocking a reinforced poly alloy skeleton.
One foot at a time. The crate was large too, Rick could barely see beyond it. Doing his utmost best to contain his grunts he plodded forward towards the ship. The perceived humiliation was exacerbated some more when Diego overtook him carrying all of the remaining crates.
Moon came up to him and said nothing, she didn’t offer any help, just walked by him talking about the ship. He saw her smirk though, he knew she knew...
They refilled their fusion reactor and stored the extra fuel and supplies. Rick thought getting extra was a great idea, but they had loads of crates already. What's in them? They also had lots of space left. Why not get more? Rick was about to broach these subjects when sirens started going off. Both on the ship and at the factory.
“Council ship inbound.” Mom’s voice repeated the message several times. The station was playing a similar recording and had begun to deploy security bots.
“Everyone get to the bridge! Andale!” As they ran for their lives, yet again, Rick’s thoughts were on the volatility of the stations and factories around them.
“Moon?” Rick called out to her between two breaths. “What happens if the factories or stations explode?”
Moon still hadn’t answered Rick when they reached the flight deck. Diego rushed to the pilot’s seat, Rick took his chair, and Moon was on navigation to his right. Gary and Steve were busy capturing great TV, they knew because Gary kept shouting it.
“Rick?” He turned to face Moon, and she continued. “We’re good. Helium isn’t flammable, and each factory and its stations are enclosed in protective bubbles made of a combination of anti-gravity, magnetic and deflector shields.” Rick was reassured, about that anyway.
The engines were already humming, the ship began to shake, and the deflector shield did its job. Though, like all shields there was a limit to the punishment it could take, and they weren’t moving yet.
Thankfully their assailant’s aim was mediocre at best, Rick could see the shields shimmer over the station as well. He brought up some holoscreens to get a better look at the situation outside.
Security bots had engaged their attacker. Rick saw it clearly now; it was a Council ship. Fuck not those guys again. Rick really wished Brock would just wake the fuck up. He was toying with the idea of going back to the medbay to slap him around a bit. If only for the comfort it would bring him.
Diego vetoed the thoughts before they could materialise when he jerked on the controls, and the ship shot off towards the corridor and their escape route. Which was now blocked. Another Council ship had appeared. A series of “fucks and fooks” echoed across the flight deck.
This new ship did not open fire on them immediately, it assessed the situation calmly, professionally. This was not lost on Rick or anyone else. Diego whipped the ship around and headed back towards the other Council ship. A game of chicken was afoot.
Both Council ships opened fire on The Last Human and each other. Diego did his best to dodge, but they were shaken, alarms rang, and lights flashed again. This was all very stressful. Couldn’t they have a calm voice tell you instead of all these strident sounds and lights?
Diego held the course as long as he could but pulled up at the last minute. The idea was to get the other ships to play together long enough for them to escape. And it worked.
Rick was impressed, he let Diego know with a whistle of appreciation. He smiled to himself, it’s funny how predictable people become in unpredictable situations. Though transhumans w
ere supposedly superior they were very impulsive. No better than humans really. No better than me. Rick’s train of thought was interrupted, thankfully, as it led nowhere good
“That was impressive!” Brock was back with Moondog. He went to sit at the communication station which was ironic because that was never his forte, though only Rick seemed amused. The dog rushed over to Moon.
“Welcome back. Good nap?” Rick’s jab fell on deaf ears. Diego was focused on flying again, and Moon was helping with navigation. Brock was catching up with Amy via link. Rick felt like shouting some questions, like “where are we going next?” Or more accurately “what the fuck are we actually doing here? Like, what’s the plan?”
He’d been warned though, Brock had warned him, Barry had warned him too, and the fucking Dick had warned him. He’d be on the run always if he left the show. But they were still doing the show. Kinda. His mind raced while Diego raced the ship around Jupiter towards an exit pointing at Saturn.
Diego explained that if they could get to the corridor before they were spotted, they might be free. With the added bonus of getting one more supply stop before the trip to Eris. Nobody objected, so it became the plan.
The plan seemed to work out, they reached their exit vector without any more trouble. Diego left the controls to Mom and walked over to Brock. Rick watched with curiosity.
“So Brock, amigo! What happened?”
“Well, you assholes were partying and getting tagged all over fucking social media. Which, as you might’ve guessed led some Council special forces to the ship.” Rick swallowed.
“I’m sorry bro! Really, I forgot about all this shit. I dropped the ball.”
“Amigo! No! This is my fault I used Rick’s celebrity to get us a good deal.”
“It’s both your faults.” That settled that, then and there. Brock was actually angry.
“How many of them did it take to put you in a coma?”
“Must have been a hundred!” Rick laughed, they all laughed. Apart from Brock.
“Just one.” The silence was deafening.
Space Shenanigans Page 13
