And I wasn’t sure I could win.
I was waiting out in front of the studio for Billie. The Marine team sent me a message letting me know they would be exiting the building in five minutes. I was relieved that we were finally heading home.
It had been a long day of press interviews and contract discussions about the next season. I didn’t plan on returning as a celebrity judge no matter how much money they offered. My new contract with Platinum would be signed in March, which meant when the next season started filming, I would no longer be obliged to revamp my image on a reality television show. The endless rehearsals I had to attend only to stand around and provide some motivational speech was a waste of my time.
I explained to Donny that if he wanted me to be writing and recording songs, I couldn’t be spending so much time at the Superstardom set. He reluctantly agreed, though I knew he was planning something to get me to change my mind. He just didn’t understand why I wouldn’t want to have cameras constantly in my face promoting my new album.
When I saw Billie walking to me, her blonde curls catching the wind, I forgot all about my day. She was in a pair of vintage blue jeans, a black tank top, and a brown leather jacket. I fantasized about running my hands underneath her shirt and helping her take it off. She was stunning.
She smiled at me, and I watched as her teeth scraped against her thick bottom lip nervously. Now all I wanted to do was kiss her.
Before I could pull her into my body and do just that, her best friend stepped out from behind her, all six feet of him, with a smile on his face that didn’t reach his eyes.
“Hey, man. I’m Zach,” he drawled, holding out his hand.
F*ck.
I forced a smile and shook his hand. “Hey, I’m Jax,” I muttered.
“I know who you are.” He chuckled. “Sorry we didn’t get to meet last time I visited. I like your music. I do believe I was the one who forced Billie here to appreciate your song ‘Living for Now.’ She was a little unimpressed, but I got her to dance to it at least once.” The bitterness in his eyes let me know he was trying to cut me down.
“She has mentioned she isn’t a fan a time or two.” I chuckled back.
This guy thought he could get under my skin by insulting my music, but I’d had too many trolls online try to get at me by telling me my songs were horrible. It didn’t faze me if someone didn’t like one. “She did show me that she knows all the lyrics to ‘Strong Enough Alone.’ I’ll take what I can get,” I replied smugly.
I looked at Billie and noticed her expression was somewhere between fear and hope. I figured she probably wanted us to get along, not stand out front of the studio in a pissing contest.
“Do you need a ride to the hotel?” I asked reluctantly.
“Actually, Zach wants to stick close to me,” Billie began pleading with me. “I explained to him that you weren’t comfortable with me at the hotel. I was hoping you wouldn’t mind if Zach crashes on the couch.”
“Brian and Corey have been sleeping on the couch,” I reminded her.
“Well, maybe if we both stay in the same hotel room, then Jax won’t be worried about your safety,” Zach suggested. “Brian and Corey can get a good night’s sleep on Jax’s couch before protecting you every other waking moment.”
Billie looked at me with pain in her eyes. Our nights together were the only time we were completely alone. She then looked at Zach’s eager expression with confusion. “Maybe Zach has a point,” she conceded. “They do stand around all day watching me. If they aren’t sleeping well and something happens, maybe their reaction time will be slower.”
“Ma’am, we can assure you that we will respond without haste with no sleep if necessary,” Brian stated firmly.
“Look, how about Brian and Corey move to the guest rooms,” I said between gritted teeth. “We don’t know if the person doing these crazy things is an employee at the hotel, and I’m not willing to take the risk. We can all stay at my house.”
“Sounds great,” Zach replied tersely.
Billie smiled at me, and like one big happy family, we climbed into the car.
“Thank you so much for letting him stay here,” Billie whispered to me late at night. I could hear the guilt in her voice, so I wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her back into my chest.
“You’re in my bed right now,” I whispered, my eyes closed. “Nothing else matters,” I continued trying to convince her and myself.
“I promised him we were just sleeping,” Billie confessed. “I didn’t want him to think you were taking advantage of me. I mentioned that the windows in your room were the only ones in the house that were bulletproof. This is the safest room in the whole house. He understands.”
“You can tell him whatever you want,” I murmured softly as I squeezed her body tightly against mine.
“We just need to get through the semifinal and the finale without an incident. Then I’m sure he’ll go home,” Billie muttered as if calming herself. “I’ll also explain to him how I feel about you.”
“So you won’t be joining him on the plane home?” I asked softly, opening my eyes to stare into the dark.
“I thought you promised me that once this competition was over, you were going to give in to your urges,” she whispered, pushing her backside against my groin.
I swallowed my groan and leaned down, moving some of her curls and kissing the back of her neck, “I’m counting down the days.”
I heard her sharp intake of breath, felt her shift, and released her body to give her the space to turn her hips to get comfortable. She surprised me when she kept turning until we were chest to chest.
“Then I guess I have a reason to stick around after the finale,” she returned sweetly, looking deeply into my eyes. I felt my chest get tight. She then burrowed into me.
I thought about kissing the top of her head and telling her how great that sounded but to focus on finishing the competition. Yet the temptation of her lips so close to mine and her soft words still replaying in my ears was too much. There was also a big part of me that wanted to remind her that unlike that guy downstairs or anything she was saying to other people, we weren’t just friends.
I lifted her chin and claimed her mouth. It wasn’t a sweet kiss. It was a hungry one that let her know how long I’d been dreaming about her lips. The taste of her was like honey straight from a beehive. I wanted more. I felt her fingers slide through my hair and then hold on tightly as I nipped her bottom lip.
“Are you sure you want to wait until the competition is over?” She sighed against my mouth when we finally broke apart.
“Yes,” I gritted out. “Which is why I need you to turn back around and close your eyes.” My control was snapping.
Thankfully, she giggled and followed instructions.
I took a deep breath and then kissed the top of her head. “The faster we fall asleep, the closer we get to the damn semifinal and this all being over so I don’t need to be wearing boxers right now,” I muttered.
She laughed softly and murmured, “I can’t wait.”
I felt her body go limp in my arms when sleep finally took her. It was another five minutes before I could settle my body down and join her.
The end of this competition could not come soon enough.
It was fifteen minutes from my call time for the filming of the semifinal. The show’s hairstylist added more product in my hair to make it appear messy, and the makeup artist lathered oil on my arms to make my biceps glisten under the lights. Once they murmured their satisfaction to each other, I thanked them and they made their exit. I took a hard look at the outfit Michael insisted I wear tonight, the exact same one that had my album being purchased by fifty-year-old women who hated my music. I was definitely sick of wearing a ripped wifebeater and showing off the lion tattoo I got on my shoulder when I turned eighteen. I was desperate to remind myself that I wasn’t a cog in the music machine, but a leader of a pack. My leather pants put way too much of my body on display. I f
elt ridiculous. I was contemplating taking off the pants when Donny let himself into my dressing room.
“Oh good, you’re still here,” he said. “I wanted to give you something before you went out on stage.” He put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a small blue jewelry box. He placed it on my dressing table and leaned back with a big smile on his face.
I swore. I didn’t need to look in the damn thing to know what it was. Donny and his damn schemes. “You’ve got to be kidding me. I thought I was clear with you about turning this singing competition into a dating show. It isn’t happening.”
His smile slipped. “Now, Jax, you don’t have to do anything. I just thought it might help to have it on hand in case you decided that you wanted to help your girl out,” he stressed. “Now I picked the ring out myself. Didn’t even send my assistant to do it for me. Its existence is only known by you, me, and the jewelry store, where every employee of course signed a nondisclosure agreement. They understand the risk of this leaking.”
“How big of you, Don,” I clipped. “I also don’t see how proposing to Billie will help her when she might have a crazy fan of mine stalking her. If the idea of us dating puts her life at risk, I can’t imagine what would happen if we were engaged.”
“Look, we have Brian and Corey keeping guard, and now her best friend is here. The girl is never alone. I don’t think you need to worry about the stalker. And were you to do this tonight, you basically guarantee your girl wins the competition. I do believe it would make a bigger statement at the end of the finale; however, if you do it tonight, it benefits you both,” Donny explained.
I picked up the box, opened a drawer in the dressing table, and hid the damn thing.
Donny grimaced. “Jax, that’s a very expensive ring. You might want to keep it on you or in a safe. It’s a beautiful blue sapphire with two diamond halos—”
“Did I pay for the ring?” I interrupted.
“It’s not like I can exactly afford four carats,” Donny mumbled. “And you’re you. The people wouldn’t believe it was real if it was only two. When the new signing bonus comes it’ll practically pay for itself.”
“Four carats,” I repeated and winced. “Look, I don’t give a sh*t. If it’s mine, I’ll do what I want with it, which means hiding the thing here and returning it the first chance I get.”
There was a knock on the door, and someone on the other side informed us, “Mr. Bone, you’re needed on the stage now.”
“That’s my cue, and a damn good excuse to ignore all this,” I muttered and turned toward the door.
“You aren’t trying to avoid the ring because you’re afraid the girl will say no, are you?” Don asked as his eyes slid to the closed drawer. “I know you met the small-town best friend, but while he’s good-looking, I’m certain she wouldn’t want him over you.”
“He’s sleeping on my couch and she’s still in my bed,” I snapped. “I’m not worried.”
“But all you’re doing is sleeping and protecting her until after the competition” he noted. “Her best friend has been telling everyone who gives her a sidelong glance that fact. If you’re not sure she’ll want you more than the country boy after this competition, it would be understandable if you haven’t sealed the deal.”
I stormed out of the room.
I wasn’t proposing because it was a sh*t scheme Donny came up with to make more money.
If she doubted how she felt after the competition, I planned on reminding her how good we were together.
No matter what her best friend thought he needed to tell everybody.
Billie walked on stage, and I heard Zach whistle from the front row. The sound grated on me, but I tried to block out my unwanted houseguest and focus on her performance.
She was wearing a black long-sleeved sheer lace dress that hugged her body and flared at the bottom. There was a single spotlight that shined down on her, illuminating her blonde curls and making it feel like there was nobody else here except for her. She grasped the microphone on the stand with her left hand and began to softly sing “The House that Built Me.”
I thought it was the perfect choice for the semifinal. Finally we were getting to hear her sing a country song from one of her idols, and she wasn’t losing her individuality. When she told me it had to do with going home after changing into someone different, which would complement her finale song perfectly, I agreed completely, even though I hadn’t heard it myself.
When she started singing about going home, the five screens behind her began showing black-and-white photographs of her past. They started with her pregnant teen mother, then her mother teaching a young Billie how to ride a bike, Billie singing in the school talent show and eating her mother’s cooking with Zach by her side. When she began singing about turning into someone different, they started showing photographs of her time in the competition and in LA. They even used some of the paparazzi shots of her and me. My smile faded. It was as if she was telling a story that she needed to go home, that being with me was dangerous for her. And I wasn’t completely sure it was just a song. I worried I was being selfish convincing her to stay.
When she finished the song, the crowd went wild, the room erupting in cheers and whistling.
Claudia and Russell both came to their feet clapping, and I felt like an idiot sitting in stunned silence. I just wasn’t sure my legs would hold me. Claudia looked down at me with a grimace and whispered, “Get up.”
I shook my head of the crazy places it was going and joined in on the standing ovation. When Connor joined her on stage and walked her closer to our table to listen to our comments, we all sat back in our seats, and I looked deep into those big blue eyes.
“You were phenomenal,” Russell called out, making her gaze shift to him.
“Breathtaking,” Claudia continued.
“It was a great way to start the night,” I agreed, relieved when her eyes came back to me. “I can’t imagine Ryne and Faith are sitting backstage eager to follow that.”
Billie laughed nervously. “Thank you so much. Your opinions mean a great deal to me, and honestly, if this is my last night singing here, I want you all to know how much you have each helped me.”
The entire audience went “Aww,” and Billie blushed.
Connor Graves chuckled and then quickly led her off stage.
I felt like Faith’s and Ryne’s performances went by in a blur after that. Faith sang an acoustic cover of Christina Aguilera’s “Beautiful,” wearing a white suit with the word brave painted all over it in black. The entire audience was crying by the end. Ryne made every girl in the room swoon with a rendition of Blake Shelton’s “God Gave Me You.” Still, I didn’t worry about Billie’s chances of winning the competition. I didn’t know if it was because I was biased, but I felt like nothing compared to her on that stage in the spotlight.
When Connor started encouraging viewers at home to vote, I let my eyes roam to where Zach had been sitting in the front row. His seat was empty. I had no doubt he had snuck out the moment Billie’s song had finished to spend some time alone with her.
He knew I would need to stay onstage for the entire performance. I didn’t doubt that he enjoyed that fact. Almost as much as I enjoyed knowing that tonight, when we said goodnight, Billie would follow me up the stairs and leave him in the living room.
Again.
Responsible
Billie
“Oh great, you guys are already here.” Faith giggled as she entered my dressing room. Zach and I were gossiping about the photos the production crew could have utilized during my song. Thankfully, they didn’t ask for any pictures of my awkward puberty years. My stomach was sore from laughing so hard.
“What are you up to?” I asked skeptically when Faith winked at Brian standing guard in the hallway before locking my door.
“I just thought we should make this our little tradition,” Faith confessed before pulling out a bottle of tequila with a big red bow on it and shot glasses from her purse. “You did an
amazing job, I did an amazing job, and we’re no longer just two girls sitting in a convention center taking selfies. It’s time to celebrate.”
“With tequila?” Zach looked at me and laughed, “I thought you swore off the stuff since that homecoming party?”
“I did, but Faith hasn’t seen me puking my guts up enough to know I hate the stuff,” I groaned.
She pouted. “You had some last time. And platinum artists always drink tequila.”
“Last time there were extenuating circumstances. We had just done a duet with a celebrity on national television, and I had just agreed to go on a date with Jax Bone.” I felt Zach prickle beside me. “I’m fine to pass on this right now.”
“Well, if you aren’t going to be any fun, I’ll just party by myself until Ryne joins us. The cowboy is always up for a good time.” She chuckled. “One shot won’t hurt until he arrives.”
I rolled my eyes at Zach as Faith filled one of the glasses. She had barely taken her first mouthful before she was squeezing her eyes shut and grasping at her throat. When she opened them, she was crying.
I immediately knew something was wrong. “Go get Brian and Corey,” I yelled at Zach before gripping Faith’s hand.
“It burns,” she struggled to say. Her breath had become ragged. “So stupid,” she gasped. “Found the bottle in my dressing room addressed to us. Figured it was safe.” Her mouth started turning red. She began coughing, and her tears began getting heavier.
“Don’t try and talk,” I told her. “Someone will be here to help any minute.”
Before I could even finish my sentence, Brian and Corey arrived with the show’s paramedics team.
“I think she’s been poisoned,” I said between shaky breaths.
“Move. I’ll get her to the hospital,” Brian demanded before helping Faith onto a stretcher. “You can follow with Corey in one of the show’s cars.”
I nodded and got out of their way.
I feared this had something to do with my stalker. I should have gone home the moment I was hospitalized. I should have thought about someone else getting hurt.
Childish Dreams Page 19
