“I have to escort her back, because that’s my job.” He sighed reluctantly. “But you should wait in here. It’ll be more dramatic in the dressing room. And the camera crews can move straight from the stage to here.”
“You won’t be here when the cameras come to me?” Cindy whined.
“I wouldn’t want to steal your spotlight. They’re going to catch that golden light of your hair if I’m not standing beside you and casting a shadow.” Connor grinned, running a hand down Cindy’s hair. She purred like a cat.
“Do you see this, bitch?” she asked me smugly. “That’s my guy. You tried to destroy him, but he always thinks of others.” She handed him the knife.
I watched Connor visibly exhale.
I just nodded again. Whatever game he was playing, I really didn’t want to interfere in the fourth quarter.
“You need anything else while you wait for the cameras?” he asked sweetly.
“No, I’ll just fix my face with her makeup,” she gushed.
“Perfect.” He grinned.
When Connor led me out the door and closed it behind us, I collapsed. He looked at me with such sorrow. “You okay to stay here? I’m just going to get the chair from next door so I can lock her in.”
“Okay,” I muttered, too shocked to process anything else.
“Billie, I’m truly sorry. I was letting off steam in the bedroom. I didn’t think she would do this. I knew she had gotten a little obsessed with me and being famous, but I thought it was like the other Superstardom groupies. I thought she was an assistant who looked good naked, not a sociopath with a love of knives.”
I just shook my head. I didn’t need an explanation or apology. I just needed to sit down.
Everyone had dreams
Jax
I left my judge’s seat to go find Billie. They were replaying her winning song on the screens and launching fireworks to distract the audience from the fact that the star wasn’t on the stage. I knew they would drag her out here any minute, but I wanted to check for myself that she was okay.
I saw Zach approaching me and stopped in my tracks. I didn’t hit the guy like I wanted. I knew Billie would want to make things good between them eventually. They had too much history for this moment to destroy them. And If I broke his nose, I feared I would become the bad guy.
I flexed my hand and took a deep breath. “The ring wasn’t bought by the show,” I clipped. “Put it back in my room so I can return the damn thing. Otherwise, I’ll make Donny send you the bill.”
“You’re just pissed I beat you to the punch,” he muttered.
I took another calming breath. “You didn’t beat me to anything. I would never have done that to Billie. This is a once-in-a-lifetime moment, and she worked hard to get here. I never would have made it about me and my feelings.”
Zach took a step back like I’d hit him. Then he shook his head and told me, “You can lie to Billie all you want, but you can’t fool me. One of the production assistants told me all about your plans and even where to find the damn ring. If you were so damn pious, there wouldn’t even be a ring and no one would know about it.”
“No one was meant to know about it,” I growled. “It was Donny’s idea, and I told him no.” I thought about what he said, and it was like a freaking lightning bolt through my body. “Which production assistant knew something about Billie and me that no one was meant to know about?” I asked, feeling the rage inside me boil.
“The blonde one,” he murmured. “She’s little and usually fetches everyone for the stage.”
“Cindy. Have you seen her at all tonight?”
“Before I went on stage,” Zach choked out. “I thought I saw her follow Billie when she ran off. I thought it was the show trying to convince her to come back.”
I turned and started walking to Billie’s dressing room. I didn’t care if Zach followed or not as I thought about all the times Cindy had been around, slipping in and out of dressing rooms and fittings. When Corey started calling my name, I began to run.
When we got to Billie’s hallway, I saw her slumped on the floor against the wall while Connor Graves held a chair underneath the door handle of her dressing room. The door was shaking.
“What the hell?” I asked before Billie’s face turned to me. My heart stopped. There was blood all over her outfit.
“Don’t worry, it looks worse than it is,” she whispered.
“I promise you I had no idea she was this crazy,” Connor explained as he held the door closed. “I sent one of your Marines to get the cops and the other to get you. I figured we’d wait and make sure she didn’t get out.”
“Cindy?” I asked before reaching for Billie. Both she and Connor nodded. Billie then carefully got to her feet, but before I could pull her to me, Zach stepped in front of me. She blinked in confusion.
“You came for me as well,” she whispered to Zach.
“Of course I did. My best friend’s life is at risk, I’m coming to find her. Even if it’s just after I proposed on stage like an idiot,” he muttered.
“Sorry to interrupt your do-over,” I said to Zach before turning back to Billie, “but I need to know, how bad are you hurt? And is she still armed?”
Billie took a look at Connor and then turned to me. “She had a knife and made some superficial cuts. I won’t need stitches. Connor convinced her to give the knife to him before she did any more damage. She doesn’t have anything else in there.”
I looked at Connor skeptically. “Why would she listen to you?”
“Because we’re f*cking, okay? I knew some of her dreams. Didn’t realize a freak in the sheets was just a plain freak.” He groaned.
I took a step in his direction and flexed my hand.
“Don’t be angry with him,” Billie pleaded. “I wasn’t joking. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t just have surface injuries.”
“I doubt he’s blameless,” I murmured, and Connor’s face flushed.
“Can I go home now? Can you take me home?” Billie whispered. She looked stricken.
“I’ll call Donny. He’ll handle the show people. Let’s go home,” I agreed.
“Zach too?” she begged.
I looked at the other person who’d tried to take Billie away from me tonight. “Zach too,” I replied between gritted teeth.
The executive producers were furious. The fans began exiting the auditorium confused until the cops arrived and started interviewing everyone about what they saw before Billie was attacked. Suddenly, it was the most interesting end to a season in the history of Superstardom. Social media was going crazy over Billie winning, the proposal, our history, and the attack.
I got a phone call from Donny informing us that the director only agreed to let us leave without a lawsuit if Billie assured them that she would sing on a morning television show first thing tomorrow and explain what happened. They specifically wanted her to tell the world that she had a stalker who sent her notes, the show moved her from the hotel to protect her, and Connor Graves was her savior.
I hated the idea that Connor would turn into the hero of the story because I doubted he was blameless. He made offensive comments about Billie to all of us, then spewed that sh*t to a psychotic assistant he slept with, who he had convinced she could be a star. I wasn’t giving the guy an award anytime soon for picking up a knife he’d basically helped the girl sharpen. But Billie needed to go home, and she was grateful to him for his actions, so I would leave it alone for the time being.
When we got back to my house, Billie went to the bathroom to shower and wash away the blood. I’d suggested she have her cuts looked at, and she informed me stubbornly, “No hospitals. Not again so soon.”
I agreed. For now.
As she turned on the shower tap, I walked outside to breathe in fresh air. My hands had been shaking since I saw her curled up in a ball. I needed to calm down.
My cell started buzzing in my pocket.
“Hey,” I answered.
“My baby,”
my mom murmured. “You okay?”
Trust my mom to know to call me. She had been in the audience, and it was surprising she didn’t storm the stage when everything went down. “She’s okay.”
“Didn’t ask about Billie, baby. That’s all over the news. I know the girl is safe. I want to know if my boy is okay after watching the first woman he’s fallen in love with get proposed to by another man and then attacked.”
I exhaled. “She’s in my house.”
“That all you need?”
“That’s all I need,” I told her, hoping I was speaking the truth.
I walked inside and found myself staring at Billie and Zach sitting on the couch, deep in conversation. She was in her pajamas and he hadn’t changed since returning home. I thought about walking away and giving them privacy, but considering their conversation might impact me, I decided to hang back and listen to what they were saying.
“The way you’re acting, I feel like I barely know you.” Billie groaned. “What you did today makes no sense to me. Is it just jealousy, Zach? Have I turned into a competition that you want to win? Are you fighting over me like a basketball?”
“It has nothing to do with jealousy or some bullsh*t competition, B. It has everything to do with the fact that I love you,” Zach explained.
It took every ounce of control I had to stay where I was and not interfere.
“You love me?” She scoffed. “Even though you’ve never mentioned it in eighteen years.”
“I’m not joking. I love every part of you. I love it when you’re nervous and when you’re confident. I love it when you laugh and when you cry. There isn’t a moment I’ve spent with you that I can’t recall what you wore and how you smiled at me. I haven’t ever said the words to you before because I didn’t want them to lose their power. I wanted you to know when I said them to you the first time that it wasn’t out of friendship.”
I watched tears glisten in Billie’s eyes and stilled myself for her response.
Thankfully, Zach continued. “If I said them before today, would they have been more powerful? Would you have said them back?”
“I don’t know what I would have done if you had told me before this competition. We might never know. All I can tell you is that today, I’m angry and I’m hurt. I’m more upset about you coming onto that stage than a crazy woman coming after me with a knife, Zach. You embarrassed me and threatened our friendship by turning a proposal into a dare. And before that lunatic stormed into my room, I was about to come to you and say yes because of that ultimatum. Your friendship means the world to me.”
Zach smiled.
My heart twisted.
“But after that woman cut me, it wasn’t your arms I wanted to run into,” Billie continued slowly. “It isn’t fair to either of us if I chose you just because I’m afraid to lose our friendship.”
I felt the breath I was holding release.
Zach looked stricken.
“I wish things were different. I wish I could give you the answers you need,” Billie sobbed. “I just can’t go there. I don’t know if that’s because I’m starting a life here that I want to focus on, and you remind me of home and a safety net I need to pretend doesn’t exist.”
“I’ll go home, then,” Zach replied, wiping away her tears. “I’ll wait for you to make your career and realize you can have both. You can be with me and live here. You’re the new winner of Superstardom. It won’t take long for you to be on the radio now.”
I shook my head. Some guys refused to take a hint.
When Billie shook her head, I almost cheered.
“You shouldn’t be waiting for me. It isn’t right for you or me,” she explained.
“Do you love him? Is Jax why we can never be together?” he snapped.
I felt my heart leap into my throat. My neck muscles tensed. Everyone had dreams, and apparently tonight was when we all found out if they were coming true.
When Billie started talking, it was as if the room disappeared, “Jax is a part of this world. He understands the things I feel before I step on stage, during a song, and after a performance. Each night he’s entrusted me with information that he knows I could share with dozens of articles for hundreds of thousands of dollars. He’s protected me.
“He’s so different from you. Zach, you never confuse me. I’ve always known who you were and why you did the things you did. And I’ve always relied on you knowing me, challenging me to be better and do more. You’ve been there for me so many times, I couldn’t even count them if I wanted to. And Jax, he’s frightening. I’m scared when I’m with him, and I’m scared about never seeing him again. I can’t explain it. He’s told me things, but there is so much more I don’t know. I never know when he’ll ask to spend time with me, and if he does, who he’ll be when he sees me, the teenager or the rock star. Maybe I’m a little in love with him because his two sides are like the two parts of myself I don’t always understand. Or maybe I don’t love either of you, and my feelings have gotten mixed up with the competition and drama.
“But I do know I’m not the girl you deserve. The one who wants to marry her childhood sweetheart and start a fairy-tale family straight away.”
Zach looked at Billie for a long time before muttering, “Your momma warned me that convincing you to leave might mean you wouldn’t come back.”
“That’s the problem with our mommas,” Billie returned. “They’re usually right.”
They started hugging, and I knew I needed to stop watching them. I had also heard everything I had to hear.
Walking up the stairs to my bedroom, I realized I lied to my mom. Billie in my house wasn’t all I needed. I needed to know she wasn’t leaving now that the competition was done.
It was late when Billie climbed into my bed.
“Are you sleeping?” she whispered.
“After the day we’ve had, you think I could sleep without you?” I whispered back.
“No,” she replied with a touch of smugness in her tone.
“I heard what you told Zach.”
“I know. I heard the door open when you came inside.”
“I want you to know I’m a little in love with you too,” I admitted nervously. “But I could also be confused with all the drama that’s been going on.”
She giggled. “I guess we’ll work it out in time. I plan on staying as long as you’ll have me.”
“How about forever?” I suggested, making her laugh.
“Forever sounds appealing,” she murmured. “Although there is just this one thing we need to do.”
She pulled on my hand until we were out of my bed. I was standing there just in my boxers, and she was wearing only my shirt. I felt guilty for just a moment that while some cried over broken dreams, we stood together living ours.
I took a closer look at the shirt she was wearing and realized it seemed liked she didn’t have any panties on underneath. It made all of the blood in my head rush to more excitable body parts.
She started tugging me to the door, and I managed to get enough brain power to ask, “Where are we going?”
“To your recording studio in the basement.”
“You want to write a song right now?” I asked, shocked.
“No,” she replied coyly. “I want to have the after-party we discussed once the competition was over in your soundproof studio. I don’t want us waking up any of the other men currently still sleeping under your roof or being interrupted by any of your alarms.” She looked at me nervously, biting her bottom lip with her teeth. “I hope you only forgot because I was attacked by a crazy woman and my best friend tried to marry me and not because you changed your mind.”
I blinked twice as understanding dawned. “Billie Bishop, are you trying to seduce me?” I chuckled softly.
She leaned forward, laced her fingers with mine, and kissed me. Her tongue swept across mine. “Jax Bone, rock star and teen idol, are you seducible?” She wiggled her eyebrows.
I pulled her body tight against
mine. “Definitely.”
Next season
Billie
Three Years Later
“This feels so strange, y’all,” I said out loud, running my fingers across the judges’ table. “You sure you don’t want me to try and call Jax instead? I’m sure I could convince him to get his butt back in this chair. Or maybe Faith. She and Ryne don’t start their tour for another month.”
Tim, the director of the new season, smiled and shook his head. “We want contestants to see how far they can go following this competition. You’re the embodiment of all their dreams come true. In the three years since you won Superstardom, you went on to a sold-out major arena tour, were awarded a Grammy for best pop song on your debut album, and we’ve heard pretty strong discussions about how Disney is asking you to be the star in their next movie musical.”
“I can’t comment on that,” I replied, blushing. It was all still so foreign to me. It didn’t feel real.
“You can’t even confirm it with your best friend?” Zach probed as he joined the room. He was dressed in jeans and a simple button-up shirt, but the show’s stylist had his hair like Connor Graves used to wear it. The only similarity between the old and new show hosts.
It suited Zach better.
I had to take a sip of the water they provided the judges to keep the goofy grin off my face while staring at my best friend, appearing so relaxed in front of the cameras. Who knew the public would fall in love with a small-town boy who proposed and got turned down on national television? It also didn’t hurt that Jax whispered in enough ears to have people question Connor’s recognition as a savior during my ordeal. I feared in the beginning that Zach gave up basketball and accepted Superstardom’s offer to show me that he could understand my new life and convince me to leave Jax. However, from his time on the show and in LA, it’s been clear that he truly loves encouraging people to step out of their comfort zones and shine. And Jax and I have never been closer, even when Zach comes over to watch the latest episodes with me on the couch.
Childish Dreams Page 22
