by M. D. Cooper
“Jujubilee™ was awesome when she could shoot fireworks from her hands,” Vampy replied. “That’s what I wanted them to turn me into.”
“No, not awesome,” The CatWoman™ shook her head. “It would have been really, really lame. And you would have had to wear those funny shorts. Seriously, the Fairly Goodmothers saved you from yourself. I think they saw how awesome I was and decided to make you match me as much as possible. I also think you’re supposed to bite me and make me into VampCatWoman.”
“Wow,” Vampy said, her eyes wide. “You didn’t say ‘TM’.”
“Huh,” The CatWoman™ replied, nodding slowly. “I didn’t, did I?”
Vampy chuckled. “I have half a mind to bite you just to save us from the ‘TM’-ing.”
“Really?” The CatWoman™ asked eagerly.
“No.”
“Jerk.”
“Look,” Vampy gestured down the street. “There’s the mine entrance.”
“Weird mine,” The CatWoman™ said, looking past the chain-link fence that enclosed the area. “There’s hardly any equipment around.”
Vampy nodded. “It’s a bit weird, but I guess they think it’s enough to fool anyone. Given that the folks from Crossbar couldn’t tell that this was where their power module was hidden, I guess it did the trick.”
“But Porty figured it out,” The CatWoman™ reminded her. “In less than a day, too.”
“Yeah, I wondered about that as well, but you know how dwarves are.”
The CatWoman™ nodded. “Sneaky.”
“You got it,” Vampy replied. “But not sneaky enough to give us anything better than ‘in the mine’.”
“Don’t worry, Vampy,” The CatWoman™ said as she pulled her goggles over her eyes. “I’m all about thiefing. It’s totally my thing.”
“Thieving.”
“What?”
“Vvvv not fffff, Kitty.”
“Don’t call me ‘Kitty’ when I’m thiefing, Vampy.” The CatWoman™ made a sweeping gesture through the air. “Out here, I’m The CatWoman™.”
Vampy gave a half-strangled groan. “Oh my fucking stars, can you say that a bit louder? Jeez. Can we just get to the mine entrance and try to get in?”
“Fiiiine. You take the fun out of everything, Vampy.”
“Sorry, I’m just feeling a bit out of sorts after possibly ruining some poor woman’s life by turning her into a vampire.”
The CatWoman™ glanced back at her friend as they crept down the dark street toward the mine. “Ruined? You’re kidding, right? You just made her a powerful creature of the night! You did her a huge favor.”
“Yeah, except they seem to hate vampires here.”
The CatWoman™ shrugged. “They hate your kind in a lot of places. Doesn’t make you any less awesome. Just makes them stupid.”
Vampy chuckled and shook her head, though withheld any reply as the two women continued to move down the street, just a pair of black shadows in the darkness.
One with the night, undetectable to the naked eye, like forces of—
“Hey,” a voice asked. “What are you two doing out here? Aren’t you freezing?”
The CatWoman™ turned to see an old woman standing at a store entrance, staring boldly at them.
“Quiet. You can’t see us,” The CatWoman™ said.
“What are you talking about?” the old woman asked. “You’re both wearing skin-tight, gleaming catsuits. I could see you half a block away. Plus, she’s wearing a bright yellow belt.” She pointed at Vampy while shaking her head.
“Vampy! You gave us away,” The CatWoman™ admonished.
“I saw you first, kitty-girl. Your tail’s moving around so much that, for a second, I thought it was some sort of drone searching for the—oh shit! You’re them! The vampires from Crossbar!”
Vampy’s arm lashed out and punched the old woman in the face, dropping her like a sack of potatoes.
“That was a bit brutal,” The CatWoman™ said as Vampy opened the shop’s door and dragged the woman inside. “I thought I was the villain.”
“Yeah, I’m still figuring out this vampire strength thing. And it’s better than trying to silence her, ending up in a scuffle where I accidentally bite her, thus forcing this poor woman to live for eternity as an old vampire…that would be awful. At least the girl I bit at The Lady was young and sexy.”
The CatWoman™ laughed as she shut the door, closing them inside the shop. “Yeah, good thing for you too, since you’re pretty hot. Not as good looking as me, of course.”
Vampy heaved a sigh and looked down at her arm. “This poor old lady’s right, though. I sure wish our catsuits didn’t gleam like a freakin’ laser-light show. Would make this whole skulking around business a lot easier.”
To both of their surprise, Vampy’s clothing began to lose its shine until it was matte black—belt included.
“Wow! It does take orders,” she exclaimed.
“I think you just didn’t believe in the magic enough before now,” The CatWoman™ said, grinning at her friend.
Vampy waved her hand. “Well, you try it now.”
The CatWoman™ drew in a deep breath. “I believe in the magic of the Fairly Goodmothers and the Disknee World. Please let me not be so shiny—just for a little while, though. I don’t want to be all dull all the time.”
A moment later, The CatWoman™’s outfit lost its sheen, just as Vampy’s had.
“Now this is more like it,” Vampy said as the pair exited the shop and continued their way down the street. “True creatures of the night!”
“Shhhhhh.”
One block later, they reached the gates of the mine’s outer yard. Within, they could see some earth-moving machines parked on one side, a group of a-grav haulers on the other, and a few low buildings near the mine itself.
The entrance was little more than a large tunnel bored into the hillside. There was a low barricade in front of it, but otherwise, the entrance appeared to be entirely unprotected.
“Really well-lit in there,” Vampy said. “Let’s go around the side so we don’t have to walk right down the middle. Plus, we can avoid the half-dozen guards that are sitting in the vehicles.”
The CatWoman™ nodded silently, and the two women crept around the fence to where it began to climb the snowy hillside.
“Here?” Vampy asked, and The CatWoman™ nodded again.
“Yeah, I think I can just jump over.”
“Really?”
The CatWoman™ crouched and felt a strong urge to wiggle her butt while swishing her tail back and forth—an urge she didn’t resist. When she felt suitably springy, she leapt into the air and landed on the far side of the fence.
She turned to look at Vampy, who shrugged and leapt into the air without even crouching down. She landed on the inside of the fence with an easy grace.
“See! Vampires are cool. You’re so lucky.”
“Try to keep it down, Kitty. Maybe we should switch to the Link.”
The CatWoman™ shook her head. “They’ll pick up our EM in an instant. Remember. I’m the expert at thiefing.”
Vampy just groaned and rolled her eyes. “OK, Kitty, lead the way.”
The CatWoman™ was about to remind Vampy to use her proper name while on the job, when she saw a sentry making the rounds.
“Come,” she whispered, and the two women slinked toward the earth-moving equipment—The CatWoman™ in the rear, her tail swishing across the snow-covered ground to hide their tracks. Once they reached the vehicles, the pair crouched behind one of the charging units.
The sentry ambled past where they’d come over the fence, not even looking around as he yawned while walking up the hillside.
“Just can’t get good help,” Vampy muttered, turning toward the mine. “There’s a lot of lights shining on that entrance. How are we going to get past?”
“I think we should trust in the Fairly Goodmothers’ magic,” The CatWoman™ said.
“Seriously?”
“Well, the power hookup to kill the lights is all the way over there,” she gestured across the equipment yard. “We came over the fence on the wrong side. We’d have to go back out, circle around, go over the fence again, skulk to—”
“OK, OK, I get it. Fine, let’s just walk in. Trusting in the magic has gotten us this far.”
The CatWoman™ gave Vampy an appreciative nod. “Glad to see that you’re finally coming around.”
“Honestly? I think I’m just blood-drunk.”
“Good enough for me.”
The two women crept toward the mine entrance, staying low and angling toward the waist-high barrier erected in front of the opening.
They were about to hop over it and stroll right into the mine, when a voice called out from behind them.
“Hold it!”
Vampy groaned, and the two turned to see a pair of guards standing twenty paces away, rifles leveled.
“Damn, those guys are stealthy,” The CatWoman™ said.
“I heard them,” Vampy replied. “I just hoped that the magic was hiding us. It turns out that I’m just an idiot.”
The CatWoman™ looked back toward the mine entrance. “Believing in magic is never idiotic. C’mon.”
She took off at a run, leaping over the barrier and rushing into the tunnel.
A moment later, Vampy was at her side. “So what’s the plan?”
“Me? You’re the smart one. I’m just the sneaky one.”
Shots rang out, rounds striking the rock walls—as well as the two women, but their magical clothing held up, and neither suffered any injury.
“See!” The CatWoman™ exclaimed. “The magic is taking care of us.”
Vampy shook her head, but didn’t respond as they picked up speed, dashing down the gradually sloping tunnel. With a jerk of her head, she indicated a lift platform on her right, and angled toward it.
The CatWoman™ followed after, and when they reached the conveyance, looked back to the entrance and saw that the two guards had become four, with another pair rushing toward the mine.
“This is going to be fun to get out of,” Vampy muttered as she hit the lift control.
The platform began to descend with excruciating slowness, and The CatWoman™ swore before muttering, “At this rate, it’ll take a hundred years to get to the bottom.”
Vampy didn’t reply as she placed her hands on her hips, causing her pistols to re-emerge. She fired a few shots at the approaching guards, sending them rushing for cover.
The CatWoman™ joined in, firing her handgun twice before the platform finally lowered enough that they were out of sight.
“We’re going to be like fish in a barrel,” Vampy said, peering down over the railing. “There’s a ladder along the shaft, we’d be better off climbing down.”
She didn’t wait for a response before leaping off the platform onto the ladder, gripping the rails, and sliding down and out of sight.
The CatWoman™ shook her head. “I’m the night prowler. I should be the one doing cool stuff like that.”
A shot came from above, and she leapt for the ladder and followed suit, hoping she wouldn’t land on Vampy when she reached the bottom.
* * * * *
Vampy felt like she had been sliding down the ladder forever. At first, she hadn’t felt any discomfort in her hands, but a warming sensation had definitely begun in the last half a minute.
She was about to call up to Kitty that she needed to stop, when she finally made out an illuminated platform at the bottom of the shaft. It was rushing toward her—or rather, she to it—at an alarming rate of speed.
Vampy clamped her knees on the ladder’s risers, trying to slow down. A look up revealed that Kitty’s ass was headed straight for her head, so she jumped off the ladder, landing on the platform a moment before her friend slammed into it, still holding onto the ladder.
“Yeeow,” Kitty growled. “Why didn’t you warn me?”
“I was too busy trying not to get crushed by your butt.”
The distant echo of weapons fire filtered down the shaft, though no rounds seemed to be reaching them.
Vampy took stock of their surroundings while Kitty checked over her tail to make sure it was OK.
On their right was a door that had a security pad on it. Vampy approached the entrance and hit the “open” command.
Nothing happened, so she held her hand over the pad and said, “Open ‘cause we need you to.”
“OK, now I think you’re going too far,” Kitty said as she approached. The magic can only do so mu—”
The door slid open, and Vampy grinned at Kitty. “Now who’s the unbeliever?”
“Shut up.”
Inside was a long corridor, which they followed to another door. It opened to reveal an even longer hall with yet another door at the end.
Seven halls and doors later, the two women finally entered a large, spherical chamber, well over fifty meters in diameter. In the center, two large cylinders rested on meter-high pedestals. One had a green light on the top, and the other’s indicator was red.
“I guess the red one must be the one that these Allarans broke,” Vampy mused as she approached it. “But…if they broke theirs and stole Crossbar’s, and then Crossbar stole theirs back, how come the Allarans have two?”
Kitty shrugged. “Beats me, though I think you have your who stole what from whom order mixed up. And maybe they took both in the latest heist for good measure?”
Vampy nodded absently as she walked toward the cylinders, looking them over. Each was just over a meter tall and fifty centimeters in diameter. Other than the colored lights on the top, neither bore any other indicators or controls.
“OK…Porty must think we’re a lot stronger than we are,” Vampy said. “These things must weigh hundreds of kilos.”
“No handles, either.” Kitty looked down at her clawed hands. “These things are no good for gripping smooth metal.”
Vampy nodded and looked around for something they could use to help transport their booty. Unfortunately, other than the strange power modules, the room was entirely empty.
“How is it that these little things can heat a planet?” Kitty asked as she approached. “They must be crazy powerful.”
“Not sure…maybe it’s just some sort of mass placebo effect. Wait, what’s—”
“Freeze!” a voice called out from the chamber’s entrance, and Vampy turned to see two soldiers rush into the space, rifles leveled.
Vampy was already on the far side of the cylinders, and she gestured for Kitty to join her on the safe side.
“I’ve got a bomb!” she cried out. “You take one step closer, and I blow both of them. And all of you. And…uh…probably half the planet, too!”
The soldiers, a pair of women, looked at one another with worried expressions, then took a step back.
The one who had called out upon entry raised her free hand and spoke slowly. “Nowww, yooooou doon’t waaaaant tooooo dooo annnythiiing rassssshhh.”
“Why are you talking like that?” Vampy asked, scowling at the woman.
“I juuuust waaaant yoooouu tooooo beeeee caaaaalm.”
“Stars,” Vampy muttered. “If you don’t stop talking like a flaming idiot, I’ll blow us all up just so I don’t have to listen to you anymore.”
“That seems ill-advised,” the other soldier said. She sounded worried, but at least she was able to communicate. “Do you really have a bomb?”
Kitty nodded. “Of course we do. Plus guns. I know just where to shoot one of these things to make it go kablooey. Care to find out where?”
“Uhhh… no,” the second soldier said.
“Good! Now…we have demands,” Kitty shouted.
“We…uhhh. We have to call our supervisor,” the first soldier said, still talking a bit slowly, but no longer sounding like she had snailitis.
“You do what you have to do,” Kitty called out, then she turned to Vampy. “What are we going to do?”
&nb
sp; Vampy looked down at the power modules, wondering if they could take them both as collateral when she caught sight of a familiar logo.
“Kitty, look at that.” She gestured to the marking on the side of the module to her left. “Is that what I think it is?”
“If you think it’s one of the Disknee World’s logos, you’d be right.”
“Stars, you go there once, and that damn place just follows you everywhere. What’s that underneath the logo?”
“Not sure, it’s not any language I know,” Kitty replied with a frustrated shrug.
Vampy decided that since they were not only found, but also cornered, there was no reason to keep her Link offline. She reactivated it and reached out to the ship.
“Shit,” Vampy muttered.
Vampy wondered why an AI needed her to hold on, but a moment later, Laylani was back.
