by C. S. Wilde
“You shall be a part of Death now,” she murmurs in a prayer.
Holy shit! Who knew motherly Molly could do this? Relief washes over me in a wave, but I’m still shaking.
Red Seth. Kill…
I search for him, but it’s difficult to spot anything in this sea of people intertwined with each other, like worms, thousands of them, perhaps millions.
You let him escape…
“We’ll find him,” I mumble, but the possibility that he’s really gone sends chills down my spine.
I focus on the song in my brain, and turn left. Far…
Molly shouts, “Santana stay close!”
I hear her, but don’t listen. Someone needs to stop Red Seth. I won’t rest until it’s over. Turning right, I hear, Close…
Leaving Molly behind, I follow the music while dodging countless bodies—blue, brown, white, or yellow. They’re mindless of my presence because they’re battling each other. I spot Barbie, riding one of the worm-bikes with a spear in her hand and a war cry in her lips. Her golden hair flows against the wind, and Irving sits behind her, his medieval sword swinging in the air, slashing Shades as they go. They speed up, and the bike disappears beyond the swarm of clashing bodies.
I want to call them, but a Shade dodge-balls toward me, and I crouch just as its heavy body passes over me, missing my head by an inch.
I need to keep moving, increase the pace. But two big Shades bump against me. They step back, while I hold my ground with zero effort. They look like they’ve bumped into a concrete wall, but I’ve barely flinched.
I’m a Wrath, there’s no doubt about it. But why? What’s wrong with me?
Everything.
The calming voice tells me, You’re only human.
Adrenaline helps me focus now and forces the fingers of darkness to release my mind. But their grip is still freaking strong and they don’t let go.
The angry part of me says, We’re one, and for the first time, the soothing part agrees. I’m making a lot of sense, aren’t I?
The Shades look at each other, confused, because compared to them, I’m like a doe who stopped two freaking pumas. They gaze down at me, then stretch shark-toothed grins that say, ‘dinnertime.’
The blood pulsing in their spirit veins calls for me.
Kill them.
That I can agree with.
I smile back, and this seems to confuse them for a second. I swing Foxberry and rip through the first Shade’s throat. Before the other Shade has a chance to retaliate, I push the blade forward and pierce his heart like butter, but when I pull it back, Foxberry clashes with a third sword. Turning to my left, I realize another Shade has come out of nowhere, a twig of a man, but his taut muscles tell me he isn’t to be messed with.
I spin, and Foxberry traces a line in the wind toward his upper body, but he’s fast, and his sword clangs with mine. Using momentum, I push his sword down, and punch him so hard his mandible cracks into a million pieces. The Shade spins and his sword falls to the ground, but soon he stands still. What remains of his jaw dangles loose and dribbles blood, teeth bent and missing. He eyes me with pure rage and I lurch toward him. He ducks and uppercuts my chin. The strike didn’t even tickle. The Shade crouches, holding his broken hand while letting out a deformed whimper from his deformed jaw. He suddenly dismantles into black grains because someone killed him by accident, and I think it was another Shade; but the scenes of battle shift at amazing speed, fates being decided in moments.
A courtroom of ashes.
The song repeats, Close… and I run toward my fate.
A Shade comes from the right, and I jab it in the stomach. Run. Dodge two Shades and a Lummeni. A Shade comes from the left. Kick it north of the knee and south of the navel. Swivel. Shade straight ahead. Rip it in half with Foxberry. Run as black sand rains over me, bathing me in ashes. Breathe. Pierce a Shade’s chest. Run. Duck a Lummeni flung in the air.
A blue light hits a Shade on my right, but I keep running. A plasma ball bursts a Shade open to my left, its fleshy pieces scattered in the air as they turn into dust. I look back and there John stands, clearing the way for me with his little plasma balls of wonder.
We don’t need him. We don’t need anybody.
But he’s trying to help.
“Santana!” he shouts as he flings a silver blur which passes close to my arm. It’s Spritebreaker and it just pierced a Shade ahead.
The Shade falls on the ground, twitching. I force Spritebreaker down and twist it until the Shade is nothing but black powder. This pleases the darkness in me, but I’m not happy. I’ve sent quite a few to oblivion so far. It isn’t right, far from it.
It was either them or you.
This isn’t how I make up for all my wrongs. Who am I to end a life? But I have no time to think about it. I need to find Red Seth.
Turning ahead, I catch glimpses of him, interrupted by Shades, spirits of the Home, Lummeni, and the blood that gushes out of them and the black ashes they turn into. Forget about a song of war, this is a freaking symphony.
I push the pressing bodies away, jump over the ones that fall. I spot him again, his blood hair swooshing as he runs. I’ll never catch him on foot, too many people between us. I look up to the sky and close my eyes. Take a deep breath. I’m in Death, anything is possible.
Strength accumulates in my legs and I leap. The wind slaps my face as I rise. I’m flying forward, I can go anywhere! Only I can’t. I’m not flying, more like jumping with the speed of a nighthawk jet, and now I’m falling. The sterile ground draws closer until I land with a loud thud, sending a ring of sand into the air. Excitement pulses against my veins. This was better than a rollercoaster ride!
Red Seth gapes at me and stumbles backward.
“Puppy, let’s talk.”
My devilish, graveled voice says, “We’ve got nothing to talk about.”
“Mighty brave now that you’re a Wrath, aren’t you?”
He extends his hand and throws a red plasma ball that hits me in the chest, a giant fire hammer that smashes and burns my entire upper body. I fly backward into a tree, brain flinging against my skull, skull splintering against the wood. My head pulses as I fall to the ground.
Red Seth approaches. His hair melts into a blood mask that paints his face, his red eyes bulged with excitement. There’s a fire ring around his irises, the same ring I saw in Hitler’s yellow eyes.
“You’re a Wrath,” I croak, a hand over my belly, head pounding. I can’t get up.
“Of course I am. We don’t all look like ridiculous dinosaurs, puppy.”
“Why did you run from me, then?”
“So you would chase me.” He looks around the landscape. “I prefer to fight in less crowded spaces. Don’t you?”
I’m panting, teeth pressed so tightly together they could merge. My whole body pounds as a freezing cold spreads across it.
“When all of this is over, I’ll murder your friends and eat your organs.” He crouches so we’re eye to eye. “I’ll cut your arms and legs off and use you as a punching bag. I’ll let every Shade of my army violate you, and when you beg me to end it all, I’ll…consider it.”
I shiver, because I’m once again powerless and alone in the dark with the boogeyman.
A Lummeni steps in, shouting as he swings his scimitar in Red Seth’s direction. Red Seth dodges easily, as if he’s fighting a three-year-old, and in the blink of an eye he’s behind the Lummeni. He grabs the Lummeni’s head and rips it off his body, like I did with Bowman. The Lummeni’s ashes puff into a cloud.
“Oh well, one can only expect so much privacy near a battlefield,” Red Seth says with annoyance. Then he starts guffawing, and I think he’s about to lose all the air in him.
“I used to be a defense attorney, same as you.” He wipes a happy tear from his eye. “Well, there weren’t many laws when I was around, but I’ve always been very good at convincing people. You can say I was a sort of devil’s advocate.” He giggles proudly. “I defended m
urderers, rapists, thieves, you name it. Never felt bad about it. The pay kept me going.”
I gulp back the blood surging up my throat. “The men I defended didn’t deserve to walk.”
“What is it you modern lawyers say? Ah yes: One’s innocence is not your concern. And there are so many of you out there.” He peers at me, still giggling from time to time. “Do you think they all go to Hell? No, pup, that’s just you, because you think you deserve it.”
I snort. “We decide our final destination, yeah? I’ve heard that before.”
“Oh no, it’s more complex than that. There’s your judgment and there’s the almighties’ judgment. In your case, the almighties will let you doom yourself all you want. In cases like mine, they’ll doom me to Hell even though I don’t deserve it.”
I laugh hard and my diaphragm stings with pain. “You really think you don’t deserve to go to Hell?”
He turns serious. “One day, the almighties will pay for their mistake. Wherever they are, I’ll find them and they’ll be sorry.” He leans closer so that his sulfur breath blows against my nose. “But don’t worry about such complicated matters. I’ll annihilate you before that happens.”
“You will try.” My legs shake as I push my weight against the tree trunk. I need to stand up.
Red Seth chuckles. “You think you can defeat me?”
One leg after another, that’s it. Keep leaning against the tree.
Red Seth shakes his head, pity in his stare, but I know he’s enjoying this. “Oh, puppy.”
His fist crashes against my jaw, and I spin to the left, losing my balance. I fall over one knee, try to breathe, and he kicks me in the gut, sending me swiveling up. My back slams against the ground. No air, vision blurring…I can’t go down this easily. I roll so that I’m on all fours, heart pumping full throttle. An elbow crashes down on my spine and I’m flat on the ground again, wheezing.
“You’re nothing, Santana Jones!” Red Seth kicks me in the ribs and I cough blood. “Just like that bitch mother of yours!”
“But I’m something,” says a glottal voice.
The deep press of his feet against the sand makes the ground shake. His shadow covers me and his breathing is louder than all the screams from the battle in the background. His drool falls on the floor, and I look up to the monster standing on its hinged legs. He’s so tall I can’t see his face, but I know exactly who he is: the ‘ridiculous’ dinosaur.
At a distance, behind the massive monster, I spot Barry leaning against a dry tree. He salutes me in that easy streetwise way of his, as if he’s got everything under control. My heart tightens. I’m not sure if this is real or a hallucination, but before I can call him, he vanishes.
Don’t leave, please…
“You,” Red Seth snarls at Hitler before running away like a lightning bolt.
The floor trembles as the creature jolts forward, and he’s also fast as hell. I’m struggling to get up when I hear a muffled sound of thunder. Ahead, Hitler has caught up with Red Seth, and they clash like the titans they are, bellowing horrid monster howls as they punch and crunch each other. Each time they strike, thunder echoes through the desert. Red Seth is much smaller than Hitler, but he takes the hits as if he and that dino were the same size.
Far away, the battlefield calls me like a siren’s song. Kill, kill them all.
No. Not anymore. I control the darkness.
We’re one.
Yes, but I’m in charge.
I wait for the darkness to reply, but it doesn’t.
Suddenly, the ground shakes in small waves, and all battles pause. Hell breaks through, not from the ground, but from the air, opening above the desert into an enormous mouth with lips made of billions of hands, spinning in a 360-degree loop. Screams stir the flames that blaze inside Hell’s throat.
An explosion bursts from above, giving way to Heaven. It reminds me of weekend barbecues, my dad’s hug, and sleepovers with popcorn and movies at Barbie’s.
The pull comes unnoticed from both sides, a soft tug at first, but in one pulse, Hell’s mouth and Heaven’s eye start dragging souls into them. High-pitched screams—mostly from Shades—fill the former battlefield, which has now turned into a racetrack.
I run to a tree and wrap my arms around the trunk just as my feet lift in the air.
Behind me, Hitler claws the ground with his gigantic nails. Red Seth is ahead of him, and he too has a pair of demonic hands with sharp nails tightly attached to the ground. He kicks Hitler’s hands and the sound of muffled thunder mingles with the screams in the background, once, twice, until Hitler’s grip fails and he soars through the air, flying toward the mouth many miles away.
“KILL ALL! KILL NONE! KI—” He’s wrapped by a random gust of fire.
Red Seth laughs, overjoyed. He claws the ground as if it were a wall, one hand at a time, and he’s coming toward me with a toothy, mad smile.
That’s when it hits me: There’s only one way this ends. It’s what the almighties had planned all along, it has to be.
Almighties, you’re hilarious. Fuck you all.
I let go of the tree and fly toward Red Seth, my feet meticulously positioned so that I hit his hands in one beautiful strike. We’re both flying now, but I grab him by the shoulders and trap him in a bear hug. We spin in a ball toward Hell. He squirms and tries to break free, but I’m a human straitjacket, and use all the remaining Wrath strength to hold him.
I focus on a freshly recovered memory of Dad and Mom dancing under the sun in our garden. I see Barbie making funny poses for Best Friends Forever pictures and Mr. Baker cheering with his whiskey in hand. I picture Molly smiling in that matronly way of hers, Tommy playing with his red bunny, and Irving gazing up at the stars. And I see John’s eternally sad eyes admiring me, his hand on my cheek, the sweet feel of his lips on mine. Warmth wraps me up, and I know it comes from the flames, but to me it’s the warmth of a sunny day, one of those that come right after a heavy rain.
Look, there’s a rainbow in the sky, Barbie!
“You fucking lunatic!” Red Seth howls, and I tighten my grip. “Let me go!”
He leans his head back and stares at the mouth of Hell as we spin. Lava simmers in the distance, a living, shifting mix of yellow, red, and orange. Flames stretch out of the mouth, bursting too close to us, and my skin burns with the heat. We’re at Hell’s doorstep now. Ashy hands bloom from the wall of bodies, reaching for us as the damned cry our names.
Red Seth glares at me, eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets. His voice rings in my head, “Let me go.”
Don’t worry, Red. We’re almost there.
Bodies surround us now. They’re our ceiling, floor, and walls. Red Seth screams, panic reverberating from every inch of his vocal chords. His bellows blend with the bodies’ eerie cries.
The heat stings my skin and my lungs turn to scabs. I can feel it, but I keep my grip strong. I won’t let Red Seth go, not yet. He needs to burn, and I’ll burn along if only to make sure he never hurts someone again. But something grabs me by the collar, and I lose him.
No!
Red Seth stretches his clawed hands to me, fury in his eyes. Belaphona flies off his pocket, following him into the gaping maw. The ruby in the silver pendant blends perfectly with the fires of Hell, and as flames reflect on it, I get the feeling the ruby winked at me. Red Seth’s skin darkens the color of dried blood, and suddenly one giant wave of lava swallows him and the silver necklace. When the wave retreats, they’re both gone.
The lava turmoil pulls at me. It’s my turn to go. My feet dangle in the air as I flutter a few inches above the floor of bodies. I look up to see John wearing that boyish smile of his, his skin burning red. He isn’t dark blue anymore.
I’m so happy that he’s the last thing I’ll see before I burn. My eyes fill with tears but they evaporate too quickly.
He pulls me up with one hand, teeth bared. My body bumps against the bodies below. Hell wants me, it won’t let me go. Still, John keeps pullin
g me in the opposite direction, tears in his eyes, veins pulsing under his skin. He pulls until I’m by his side, and I hold on to a pair of legs.
Below, an ashy face with yellow teeth smiles at me, singing, “Santana Jones, come and play.”
“Don’t listen!” John shouts.
“Santana Jones, come and stay,” says another voice from my left, and soon all the burning, clawing bodies are screaming, groaning, bellowing, and singing my name.
“Put your arms around my neck and hold tight!”
I do so with shaky hands, so that I’m hanging from his neck. The lava burns meters below my dangling feet.
John starts clawing his way up, writhing like a spider over the moving bodies. Hands slap my arms and pull my hair. They scream ‘stay’ over and over and I don’t know if I can hold on to John for much longer.
“Baby girl, you don’t belong in there.” It’s Mom’s voice. I lift my head, glaring at the Hell around me.
“Mom!” I scream, while John keeps pulling me up. But there’s no sign of her. “Sarah Jones!”
The sunlight at the end of the throat grows. Suddenly some invisible force pulls us out, and while I’m swirling in the air, Hell’s mouth closes.
My body spins on the ground like a dying tornado until I finally stop. I look up to the light of heaven, and spot a shadow. Mom? But before long, the clouds close into one another and the gateway vanishes.
I lie on the sand, belly up, trying to digest the fact that I’ve been to Hell and back. Literally.
And I’ve seen Mom…it must have been her. I’m filled by this need to cry, but it’s not a bitter feeling; it’s the cry you let out when you finish a marathon with an injured leg or when your child is born and you see it for the first time. A cry of impossible things complete.
Everything is so quiet now. The mad thoughts are gone, Red Seth is gone.
Finally.
John runs to me, a desperate look on his face as he bends down and checks me. “Are you okay?” Sweat covers his face, his suit torn and tainted with blood.
