The Woman Who Kept Everything

by Jane Gilley

  ‘Aye, loneliness is a terrible thing,’ Gloria agreed. ‘We build walls around ourselves. But trouble is we’re locking ourselves in, not keeping folk out. Anyway, very nice to have met you, love. Have you got one of those mince pies yet? Give her a mince pie, Val.’

  Gloria and her family’s upbeat demeanour had rubbed off on everybody and they’d been made to feel very welcome both by the other volunteers and the homeless people as well.

  Mark the manager had been right: it really was quite inspiring for Gloria to be able to give some of her time to those who’d needed it most. She told Val she thought both Adam and Jessie would’ve benefited from having done something so selfless over the Christmas period.

  But by the end of the second night, Christmas Day, Gloria was beginning to feel drained.

  She’d had a lazy morning, around her new sparkling Christmas tree, which she’d decorated with tiny glass angels Val had helped her choose. Then she’d sat in her cosy dressing gown, with a cup of tea, opening all the cards from her friends – both new and old – as well as gifts from her grandchildren and Val. Val had written With Love from Val & Clegg on hers. Adam and Jessie had got her a big box of chocolates and Val got her some toiletries. These might seem like ordinary gifts to some people but Gloria hadn’t had more than a small Christmas card in the past from Clegg, so these gifts felt heart-warming to her.

  Brr. But it was going to be another cold night, going off to serve soup to the homeless. However, she had no intention of letting Mark and the other volunteers down, even though it was so lovely and warm in her own flat. So she dutifully donned her coat and hat and gloves and awaited the arrival of Mark in his Mini.

  The volunteers rubbed their mittened hands and stamped their feet to keep warm on that second night. It wasn’t quite as cheery as when her grandchildren and Val had helped out. But the volunteers still wore their glitzy sparkly ‘scarves’ and there were still some mince pies left over from the night before.

  Between them they’d served ninety-six soups on the first night and Gloria’d just served the one hundred and sixty-eighth person on Christmas Day when she noticed potential trouble from one of the men further up the line. There tended to be more men than women in the lines, she’d noticed, seeking hot food.

  He was brusque, unshaven and carried an empty vodka bottle that he was brandishing about while swearing at everyone around him. Mark had temporarily popped inside the shelter to get more soup, which left three women, including Gloria, by themselves, serving.

  ‘So what soooup we got tonight then, missus?’ he slurred to Gloria, swerving towards her.

  ‘We can do chicken or broccoli and Stilton, love,’ she replied, cautiously, remaining calm, as she’d been instructed to do on her induction night.

  ‘Oh sod off! We had that last week! It’s Christmas Day for God’s sake – ain’t you got summat better than that for our Christmas dinner? We had curried parsnip last year!’

  Just then a very different voice answered him, stepping in next to Gloria and taking the ladle from her hands.

  ‘No, we ain’t, mate. So it’s bloody chicken or bloody broccoli and Stilton! MATE!’

  Gloria turned, surprised, at the sound of his voice. Then her eyes filled with tears as she looked at the man standing next to her. He looked different somehow – leaner, more confident. She also detected a faint trace of the aftershave he’d used at her eightieth birthday bash.

  ‘Of course, the other option is take it or bloody leave it, mate!’ added her saviour.

  ‘Oh all right then, mate. Keep yer ’air on, I was just sayin’. I’ll ’ave chicken then.’

  ‘I think that’s the most swearin’ you’ve ever done, in all the time I’ve known you,’ Gloria whispered softly, smiling.

  When Mark reappeared Tilsbury told him what had just happened and said he was taking Gloria home, although she did protest at that.

  But Mark smiled encouragingly.

  ‘No. You’ve done us proud, Gloria. You and your family were great last night and you’ve done more than your fair share tonight. So please, go home and enjoy the rest of your Christmas.’

  The other volunteers and most of the people in the line cheered and clapped and thanked her for her time helping them all.

  ‘Thanks, Gloria!’

  ‘Happy Christmas, love!’

  ‘Thanks for everythin’, love. Merry Christmas!’

  Gloria bowed and thanked them and hugged Mark and then left on Tilsbury’s arm.

  They got a taxi back to Lily’s for the night.

  ‘To celebrate Lily’s last Christmas,’ Tilsbury said softly as they walked through his sister’s front door. ‘I can’t bear for her to be left on her own tonight.’

  Chapter 43

  Lily looked frail, lying wrapped in blankets on the settee downstairs, next to a roaring log fire.

  A real Norwegian fir tree was hung with opulent deep purple, red and gold Christmas decorations and decked with twinkling colourful fairy lights, creating a cosseting, indulging feeling from another era, much like most of the room’s furnishings. And the room was so warm they could smell the faint scent of a pine forest.

  When she spotted Gloria, Lily held out her hand.

  ‘Hello, dear friend. Come to see me off?’ Lily giggled.

  ‘Don’t be so melodramatic, Lil,’ said Tilsbury. ‘I’m just going to make some tea for me and Gloria. Do you want some or more Prosecco?’

  Lily pulled a face and held out her slim-stemmed wineglass with a wiggle.

  ‘Have you at least had a nice Christmas, so far, though, love?’ Gloria said carefully.

  Even though she felt immensely sorry for Lily, Gloria would’ve preferred Tilsbury to have dropped her back at her own flat, instead of at Lily’s house. It was past eleven p.m. now and Gloria was dog-tired. She wondered where Tilsbury’d got the money from, for the taxi, unless Lily had given it to him.

  ‘It is what it is, Gloria. But I’ve always liked Christmases in the past. Please hurry up, Tils. Gloria’s flagging. We’re all flagging. Get the bloody box,’ Lily called out to Tilsbury, who was busying himself in the kitchen.

  Tilsbury didn’t rush back into the room. He came in carefully carrying the tea tray. He set the tray down on the coffee table and poured their tea and topped up Lily’s glass with her sparkling wine.

  He also took two more glasses off the sideboard behind them and placed them on the table and filled the glasses. He handed one to Gloria.

  ‘Right. Now, I know it’s late but I want you to hear me out, love,’ he said to Gloria as if Lily wasn’t there.

  ‘Well, we’re here tonight for two reasons. First of all, we’re here to propose a toast to my favourite family member, my dear sister Lily. So I propose a toast for her long, very eventful and happy life, now that this might very well be her, um, last Christmas with us. To my darling sister Lily!’

  ‘To dear Lily!’ Gloria said.

  Gloria and Tilsbury and Lily clinked glasses. Gloria did not feel comfortable with this proposal but duly sipped her alcohol.

  ‘Oh and you’re stayin’ tonight by the way, Gloria, to join in with our last family Christmas together. But the second reason I want to have a toast with my two favourite women is the reason I went away …’

  Gloria looked at him, puzzled, which increased Lily’s merriment. Gloria was pleased Lily was tipsy. Perhaps, that way, she wouldn’t be thinking about things in too much depth.

  ‘Yes, love?’ she said to encourage Tilsbury.

  ‘Ah well. The reason I went away was because you got me thinking about things. The social weren’t much help to me. I could be on that list for a long time and maybe I ain’t got a long time left. Maybe none of us have. Who knows at our age? But I knew that if I said yes to you – yes to going back and living with you again and all the trouble that is definitely gonna cause with your Cleggy and co – well, I knew I had to do things different this time round. I mean, as you know, I ain’t got much by way of possessions and the lik
e but I’d always wanted to go to Scotland. I got a mate up there, too. So, anyway, I did both. Lily gave me the fare and enough for a few nights in a hotel. So I stayed in a nice hotel in Edinburgh and went about a bit to see the sights. Well, after that I thought I needed to do the other thing I went there for – to earn some money –’

  ‘Oh get on with it, Tils, or we’ll all be goners by the time you finish!’ Lily pouted.

  ‘You be quiet, woman! So anyways I walked round a bit, asking after work at some of the hotels, which wasn’t forthcoming on account of my age, of course. But finally, I hooked up with my old mate, Dave Brett – you remember him, Glor? A canny chap from way back. Well, I call him old but he’s younger than us.’

  Gloria shrugged.

  ‘Well, he was always telling me to come see him. So the next day, I went to see him. His son’s got a pub up there. So I asked him if he knew where I could get some temporary work. So he said: well you can work here, old mate! He wasn’t bothered about me age, on account he was desperate ’cos some young tike’d let them down. Said this kid was on the sick but then he just pissed off. So they give me the chap’s room and basic pay for doing some kitchen portering and glass collecting at nights, up to Christmas. He’d got temps to do the actual Christmas from a hotel agency. But I worked every night and it was real hard graft I can tell you – I was bloody knackered. Them Scots can drink a pint or six, that’s for sure. But, anyway, it were cash in hand, no questions asked. So I’m back here now for keeps. And I can’t prove that I’ll never go wanderin’ off again, Glor, but trust what I’m saying. I’ve had plenty of time to think about things now and I know how I want the rest of my life to pan out. So I am back for keeps. And the reason I did it was for this.’

  Tilsbury took a swig of his tea as he didn’t particularly like the fizzy white wine. Then he went to the Christmas tree and retrieved a couple of gifts. He threw one gently at Lily and handed the other to Gloria. Gloria’s eyes opened wide.

  ‘But, Tils, you didn’t have to do all that just to get me a present, love,’ Gloria protested.

  ‘Just open it, Gloria!’ Lily smiled, opening her own gift and exclaiming in surprise.

  ‘Oh, Tilsbury! You got it for me! And just in time too! Oh that’s marvellous, my love. Come here and give your big old sister a hug!’

  Tilsbury allowed himself to be pulled into his sister’s embrace for a cosy hug and a sisterly kiss.

  ‘Happy Christmas, Lily, darling!’

  Gloria could tell he sounded choked. Well he would do, under the circumstances. It was very upsetting.

  ‘Jasperware!’ Lily said proudly. ‘I collect it. Okay then – Wedgwood to you and I. But just look how beautiful and smooth this bud vase is! It completes a collection of vases I’ve got.’

  Gloria touched it and smiled. ‘It’s lovely.’

  ‘Okay then, Gloria, have ya got down to the next layer of gift wrap yet?’ Tilsbury said, impatiently.

  ‘Ooo nearly. You’ve wrapped it well! Mebbe a bit too much sticky tape though!’

  The Christmas wrapping finally fell away and the little red box stared at her. Her heart missed a beat.

  ‘So,’ Tilsbury was saying. ‘The reason I needed to make some serious money quite quickly was so I could say “yes” to yer proposal of me living with you again, providing you now open that little red box and say “yes” to what lies inside.’

  Gloria lifted the hinged lid of the little red velvet box to reveal a shiny gold engagement ring, set with a sparkling diamond solitaire in the middle.

  Gloria gasped. ‘It’s – it’s beautiful, Tilsbury!’

  ‘Well I’m glad you like it, Glor. I chose it because you’re a real diamond to me, you see. And the other reason I chose it is because I wanted to do things properly for once; the way we should’ve done things properly way back in the day. So will ya marry me, Gloria Frensham? I’ve always loved ya, you know.’

  Gloria stared, speechlessly, from the ring to the proud but loving look on Tilsbury’s happy face.

  ‘Yay! Cheers to that!’ said the excited Lily, downing her Prosecco before the shocked Gloria could open her mouth to reply.

  Chapter 44

  It was as if time stood still.

  The glowing embers of the fire, warming their souls; the Christmas tree with its twinkly lights, making this moment exquisite; Lily’s radiant face, having been allowed to join in with this special moment of Tilsbury’s, despite her sad illness; wineglasses on tall stems, outstretched towards her, encouraging her response …

  Clegg would not be amused, of course. Oh, Cleggy. Whatever happened to you, son! But this wasn’t Clegg’s life. The sparkling solitaire, set in a crown of gold on a nine-carat-gold band, beckoned. A smile started on her lips, her cheeks flushing in a blush, as she took the beautiful ring from its box.

  Gloria was nodding, as tears of joy started to trickle down her cheeks.

  ‘Oh, I will, Tilsbury, you crazy man! It really is beautiful, love. And I shall. And I ruddy well do! I’ve always loved you, too, Tils. We’ve always been soul mates, you and I.’

  Tilsbury took the ring from her and edged it slowly onto her finger. It was slightly large but could always be re-sized. Gloria got to her feet and hugged Tilsbury for a long time. Then she went over to the settee and hugged the happy Lily.

  And then they laughed and chatted and drank the rest of their wine and the tea went cold and they finally fell asleep in their armchairs.

  * * *

  Tilsbury gently shook Gloria awake. Ow, her neck was cricked and she still felt tired. Too many bubbles and too many comfy cushions scattered around the place meant they’d ended up sleeping on the floor of the lounge. It wasn’t quite as hard as Mabel’s floor had been, though.

  Lily was softly snoring on the settee. The clock over the mantel read 8.35 a.m. Gloria suddenly remembered the sparkling ring on her finger and looked down to admire it. Her smile reached her eyes, as she also remembered Tilsbury’s wonderful proposal from the night before.

  ‘Good morning, future husband.’ She grinned.

  Tilsbury kissed her nose. ‘Good mornin’, future wife!’ He smiled. ‘Right! Now I’m going to make some tea and toast for us all and then can you help me get Lily in the shower? The Macmillan nurses would kill me if they knew I hadn’t put her to bed last night. Anyway, she’s got Nellie and May coming round for tea this morning and she’ll want to be dressed in her finest garb. They’ll be here around eleven. So we’ll get sorted and I’ll leave a pot of tea and biscuits out for them. Then we’ll stroll off home. All right? I got our taxi booked for 10.45.’

  Gloria nodded that it was quite all right.

  Lily took a while to come round but was gracious about being helped in the shower. By eleven Nellie and May were seated in the lounge with a freshly dressed Lily and pot of tea for three waiting on the table. Tilsbury whisked Gloria out of the door before goodbyes became emotional. Gloria said she would ring Lily that evening.

  The taxi back to Sheringham was not cheap but Tilsbury was flush for once in his life and did not care about the price.

  He even had a small holdall with him, a possession he’d never had before, and a new change of clothes and toiletries.

  As they entered the flat he breathed in the air of newness and cleanliness that surrounded them.

  ‘Aye you’ve done well here, lass. It’s a champion place this with no crumblies. Oh and I like the view. And, you’re right, we’ll be able to do some nice walks, here. Or just sit outside with a cup of tea or summat stronger!’ he said, leaning on the handrail of the small balcony. ‘Right, so show me what else we’ve got then? Ooo, a nice new kitchen. And what’s in here? Oh yup, that looks like a power shower. Yes I like the bathroom too. And oh wow, you already got me a bed next to yours! Hmm. I can see it’s not a double, though …’

  ‘Well that was before –’

  ‘Ha, ha. I’m just ribbin’ you, darlin’. It’s perfect, Gloria. Everything’s perfect. Can I kiss you, my lovely?’


  Gloria fell into his arms and he kissed her all over her face: little fast, frenzied kisses that had her giggling and finally pushing him off her.

  ‘Gerroff, you great lummox! We’ll save all that for later …!’

  Chapter 45

  Tilsbury knew what had happened when they rang Lily, twice, that afternoon and got no response.

  She always kept the phone nearby. Just in case. But she’d even refused help from the Macmillan nurses at the very end.

  ‘Just wanna be in my own home amongst the last of my family,’ she’d told them, when the taxi arrived to collect her, from hospice, just before Christmas. The nurses knew they couldn’t stop her. She’d always been a strong-willed woman. But she’d been told the end of her life was imminent and so they couldn’t blame her for wanting to be at home, surrounded by the things and people she loved.

  Tilsbury left Gloria to go back to Lily’s house and found her, sitting upright, the tea drunk, the biscuits eaten, her dearest friends Nellie and May long gone.

  She’d left instructions for what she wanted to happen with her funeral arrangements and all her possessions, after her death, in a letter:

  To my dearest brother Tilsbury,

  Well, if you’re reading this letter you must realise I’m no longer with you. But I’ll always be with you and Marvin, Tils, in your hearts.

  So, as I know you hate my melodramatics, I’ll be brief but I do want to let you know that I’ve always loved you dearly and I hope you’ll find happiness in your own inimitable way. But please be aware that Love will always be the answer to emotional happiness! And with you it has always been Gloria, you oaf!

  Took you long enough!

  Funeral arrangements: simple funeral, no songs, just the tune from Morning Has Broken, hummed by a choir. I’d’ve enjoyed that poignant spectacle whether I’d been dead or alive; it’s such a melodic tune. And a prayer of your choice.

  Guests: Yourself, Marvin, Jocelyn, Gloria, Nellie and May, if they’ll come.